"You just said you didn't have time to go on stupid dinner dates with me in college, which I am okay with now, considering how busy you were back then. So.. do you have time to go on stupid dinner dates with me now?"
"WHAT?"
"WHAT?"
Tine's POV
God dammit, what did I just say?
"Did I say dates? I didn't mean it like a date-- date. I just meant it like a dinner thing. You know like a dinner."
"Oh.." Sarawat was smirking at me again and I wanted to kill him right in this restaurant. "So, a date is like a dinner.. that we are having right now? So according to you, we are on a date right now? Damn, I am sorry for being so underdressed for our date Tine, if only I knew, I would have put more effort into it."
"Shut up Sarawat!"
"Hey! You promised to call me Wat when I helped you get out of my house."
"Well you were also the one who literally put me in that house while I was drunk."
"I had to take your drunk ass somewhere, and let me remind you, you had a pretty comfortable sleep that night — after taking my shirt off. You were literally snoring."
"I WAS NOT"
"YES YOU WERE!"
"Umm.. excuse me." It was the waitress who was looking at us very weirdly now. "Fighting is not allowed in this restaurant. Also, here's your bill."
"No, wait we weren't fighting—"
"Hey, I am really sorry" Sarawat interrupted. "My boyfriend gets a bit feisty from time to time."
"Sarawat, I swear I'll kill you." I banged my hands on the table in sheer anger.
"Come on, babe. You know how I feel about public fights. Let's go home and talk it out okay? We are disturbing other people here."
"SARAWAT!!!"
"I am really sorry about his behavior. He is a bit short tempered, but deep, deep down, he is a really sweet guy." Sarawat shook his head and took out his wallet to pay the bill. And I — I just decided to get up and leave the restaurant without even waiting for him, because I was that frustrated with him.
Sarawat came running outside after a few minutes just as I reached the car. "Hey! Why did you leave me behind?"
"Oh are you talking to me now? The guy with a rather short temper?"
"--who is also very sweet deep down. Didn't you hear the whole thing?"
"I am leaving. You can take a taxi from here to get back to the office. Also, make sure you prepare a report for this restaurant. It should be on my desk Monday morning."
"What? Tine, its already Friday night. I am going with you to the conference. How am I supposed to find time to finish this report over the weekend?"
"That seems like a 'you' problem that I don't care enough about."
"You are being too petty, Teepakorn."
"I am sorry I can't hear you over all of my 'short temper.'"
/
/
/
"Wait why are our rooms on the opposite ends of the hotel, Tine?"
We had already landed in Pattaya an hour ago and by this point, all I wanted to do was find a bed and catch up on some sleep. We had to get an early morning flight from Bangkok just to get here on time and Sarawat's incessant talking on the plane did not help my sleep deprived state, at all. I had honestly never been this excited to reach a god damn business hotel.
"Because I specifically told May to keep me as far away from you as possible. Looks like she really ended up listening to me for once." I took the keys from the hotel receptionist and started following. But Sarawat, incessantly, kept following me on my path.
"After refusing to watch a movie together with me on the plane and then declining my very sweet offer to share a room together, the least you could do is get adjoining rooms Teepakorn." Sarawat huffed. "Wait, may be we can still share a room and just give up the other one..."
"NO! For the last time Sarawat, why would two grownups share a room when we could just have our own rooms that the company is already paying for?"
That's when I saw his signature smirk again which I had started to hate. "You know.. The fact that we are two grown ups is exactly the reason why we should be sharing a room,"
I rolled my eyes and pressed the button for the elevator. "Bye Sarawat. I am too tired to even talk to you right now. Just go to your room and don't bother me for the rest of the day."
I decided to sleep till the afternoon, and then finally get ready to attend the conference. I was supposed to speak in the evening, but I still needed to be there to network with people, talk to them, and support the other speakers. I was representing the company, of course.
When I went down to the hall where the conference was happening, Sarawat was nowhere to found and I breathed a sigh of relief. I approached all the people that I faintly knew one by one, introducing myself. Surprisingly, most of them already knew my name, even though I had only been in the industry a few years. Well, it was possible because the company's brand was just too big to ignore.
After a few hours, I finally took a seat in the last row pretending to listen to whoever was speaking on the stage currently. But in reality, I was revising my speech on my phone. Going over all the cliff notes one more time, I could feel the nervousness setting in when I felt someone take the seat next to me.
"Why are you nervous? You are going to do great."
I looked at my side and realized it was the devil. "I am not nervous. And where were you?"
"Ah, just overslept. And don't lie to me Tine, I can literally see your hands shaking as you scroll down the phone screen. You are playing with your ring again, and you keep adjusting your tie — which by the way is already perfect."
"I—I am not nervous.." That's when Sarawat put his hand over mine and I could feel the warmth covering me. "It's going to be okay, Tine. I know you prepared a lot for this. Plus, don't forget you are an ace at this. I have seen you give out so many amazing speeches at college."
I huffed. "You have no idea how many nights I had to stay up just preparing those speeches. I hardly had a week to prepare this one. I didn't even think I would have to be at this conference because I thought I'd be in Tok—"
"Tine, its your turn next. Lets get you mic-ed up shall we?" A staff member came by and whispered in my year.
"Yes, let's go."
As I stood up, Sarawat pulled on my suit sleeves. "Don't worry, you got this okay? If you get nervous, just look at me. I'll be right here looking at you."
He was smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile right back at him.
As I made my way to the stage, I could feel the nervousness set in. I took to the centre of the stage, trying my best to hide my nervousness.
"Good—good evening, I am Tine Teepakorn..." There were bright lights focused on me and I could feel everyone else's eyes on me, which only added to my nervousness. But that's when, I finally noticed Sarawat standing at the very back of them, waving and smiling at me.
And for a moment, may be just for a moment, it felt like everyone had disappeared, and there was just me and Sarawat in the room.
"Good evening everyone, I am Tine Teepakorn from National Breweries.." I smiled back at Sarawat and for some weird reason, all of my nervousness had evaporated away.
/
/
/
/
"You did great up there, Tine"
I had finally made my way to the back of the room where Sarawat was, after interacting with everyone else post my speech. The feedback had mostly been good, but then again, these marketing people wouldn't ever insult everyone right on their face.
"I don't know. It was okay, I guess. I am sure everyone was just bored. Let's go outside, this room is making me feel suffocated now." I started walking out and Sarawat was right beside me, following me.
"Tine what are you talking about? I literally saw people look up from their phones and listen to you with pin-drop silence. Everyone was mesmerized by you.."
"Okay you don't have to lie so blatantly now Sarawat..."
"Tine did you really not notice while you were on the stage? Everyone was listening to you. They were interested to know about all the strategies you used at National Breweries because they have seen the results themselves. They were impressed by you even before you started speaking."
"Okay now you are just lying at this point Sarawat."
"I am not. Tine, believe me when I saw you were really good up there. I am proud of you Tine. I am really proud."
I was startled by Sarawat's words, it was not what I expected him to say. It was not what I expected anyone to say to me. I had been working so hard for so long, I had started thinking I didn't need validation from anyone else. Not from my mom, not from my friends, not from anyone, ever. And yet, Sarawat's words reverberated through my ears, making me realise I was still that messy kid from 10 years ago, who just wanted a chance to make things right and make his father proud.
I couldn't help but look down and spin around the ring in my finger. It was nice to hear someone was proud of me, and yet I would never be able to hear those words from the person who mattered the most to me.
"You know, he would have been proud of you too"
Sarawat's voice suddenly brought me back from my thoughts. "Huh?"
"Your dad would have been proud of you too if he saw you today, Tine" Sarawat put his hand on my shoulder probably to comfort me, but all it did was make me far more emotional than I already was.
I bit my lip to somehow control the tears in my eyes which were ready to fall out any second and took a few steps back to create some space between me and Sarawat. I don't know how he did it, but I somehow always ended up being vulnerable around him.
"Ummm yeah. yeah. Whatever." I shook my head and loosened my tie. "I am hungry. Let's go out for dinner in an hour? My treat."
"Seriously?" Sarawat looked shocked but he quickly smiled again. "Okay. Okay. How about we go to the beach restaurant across the street? The hotel staff told me it is pretty good."
"Yeah sure. Let's meet in the lobby in an hour then?" I loosened my tie a bit more. "I am going to go get out of this suit first. It's way too hot to be wearing a suit right now."
"How about I come with you and watch you take it off?"
"SARAWAT!!!"
"What? I could help you take it off too"
"Just.. never mind! I am too exhausted to even argue with you at this point. I'll see you in an hour."
I started walking ahead when Sarawat called me out again. "Hey Tine! just so we are clear, this will be our stupid dinner date that you promised me in college but never followed through."
I looked back at him with complete frustration. "Sarawat, this is NOT A DATE!"
"It is for me, see you in an hour, Teepakorn. Make sure you dress up well for our date." He smirked and left.
/
/
/
I took a long shower before finally getting dressed for dinner. I decided to wear the new blue shirt that I had just bought last week, not because Sarawat had told me to dress up, but because I might still run into someone from the conference in the lobby and I needed to look sharp. I was representing the company and it was important to look good.
It was already 8.10pm, so I checked my hair again, and finally walked out of the room, to meet Sarawat in the lobby. I was already late and he was probably waiting for me already downstairs.
Well, when I reached there, Sarawat was nowhere to be found. So, I waited and I waited, until 8.30 but Sarawat still wasn't there. Finally, I tried calling him on his phone, which weirdly was switched off.
"What the hell? Did he sleep again?"
I walked up to the hotel receptionist and asked them to call Sarawat's room, but there was no answer on his room phone too.
"Sir, your colleague's room seems locked from the outside so I don't think he is in the room. May be he went out for dinner?"
"Well.. he was supposed to have dinner with me."
"If its urgent, I could get one of the staff to go look for him.
"No, its okay. I am sure he is around here somewhere."
So, I decided to walk up to the restaurant we had decided to eat dinner at. May be Sarawat just got confused and thought we were going to meet there. But he wasn't at the restaurant either. Next, I walked back to the hotel, and looked for him at the hotel restaurant, but Sarawat wasn't there either.
As a last-ditch effort, I walked up to the hotel bar to search for him — and that's where I finally found Sarawat. Sitting at the bar with a big glass of whisky in front of him, still wearing the same clothes he had been wearing since morning. But there was a man sitting next to him, a man with his arm around Sarawat. I couldn't see the man's face but it was pretty clear from the way Sarawat was looking at him, that Sarawat knew him very well.
"If he was really busy drinking with another guy, why the hell did he agree to go on a dinner with me?" I wanted to yell in anger but instead, I ended up laughing at myself. "I can't believe this is happening all over again. Why am I so fucking stupid?"
I turned around and walked straight to my room. Closing the gate with a loud bang, the first thing I did was throw the damn shirt away on the floor and grab a beer from the fridge mini beer.
I chugged the entire bottle of beer in one go, got up, and punched the wall in full force. "No, I am not angry at Sarawat. I am definitely not angry at Sarawat. He does not even deserve my anger."
I punched the wall again with even more force. "No I am not angry at him. I am just irritated at him for wasting my time, that's all. If he was going to be stupidly drinking and getting cozied up with some random person at the bar — he should have just said so. I don't care who he goes out with, he should have just told me he was busy."
I took out another beer bottle and drank up straight from it. "No you know what? We are here on a work trip, he shouldn't even be meeting someone else. He should have just stayed back and had dinner with me. Ughhh.." I got up and punched the wall again, realising it wasn't helping. "Fuck this. I need another shower"
I walked inside the bathroom, turning on the cold shower and just stood there for god knows how long, and yet, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Sarawat was in this same building, possibly getting even more closer to the random guy.
I was just getting out of the shower when I heard my room door bell ring — and it kept ringing, continuously.
"What the hell? Who is it?" I grabbed a towel and walked to the door. "God, hold on a second at least —" I opened the door, only to find a very drunk-looking Sarawat who couldn't even stand properly on his two feet.
"Tine..." His usual smirk was all gone, replaced by remorse and sorrow in his eyes.
"Why are you drunk? And why are you here, Sarawat?"
Sarawat didn't answer me back, instead, he hugged me tightly, clutching on to me so tightly, like he had fall if he let go of me.
"Tine..." I could feel his voice quivering as Sarawat wrapped his arms around me even more tightly.
"Wat, what's wrong? You are scaring me now."
"It keeps following me everywhere Tine, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go."
"What keeps following you?"
"The past."
--
A/N: This was hands down one of the most interesting chapters to write for me because it had elements of everything – angst, fluff, and just fun humour. There is a lot to unpack about 'the past' in the story and all I want to say is – its going to be rather interesting.
To say that I have had an exhausting week would be an under statement, but I am trying to somehow get through things, one day at a time, hoping to somehow keep my sanity intact. Hope you are having a better week than me at least.