ーconfessions and embrace
i spilled every thing to him
and i expected him to hate me too
just like you probably do
but he just smiled
we had a pretty big fight
i confessed
there's something both you
and koo need to know
he began to say,
we only argue with the ones
we truly love and care
maybe he's right
i know he's right
i disrespected you
i yelled
you were just mad
he said
i have no idea how
he's so calm about it
i was so harsh on him
i confessed again
but you were harsher on yourself
he held my hand
i have hated you for
coming in between us
i spilled along with some tears
he smiled again
he said with no fears
i know you don't
you were just scared to be alone
i know, i have been there too
i don't hate you back
and he doesn't hate you either
i don't know what to say
or do any more
what if he never comes back
what if he hates me forever?
i had some residual fears
i had some unshed tears
he'd come back
we both love you
he held me close
as if he had something to apologize for
i'm sorry, i fell in love with him too
i don't blame him
but he told me
how precious you are to him
so you're precious to me too
i don't know if heather could tell
but i was still crying in his embrace
i don't deserve his grace
i don't deserve this love
we're here for you if you need us
you're free to love whoever you want
but please for my sake
save some love for yourself too
i don't know what to say to that
but i swore my heart just raced
when i heard heather say something
that i was just dying to hear
my heart's full
i'm still crying
someone like you
shouldn't care about
someone like me
i managed to say
he looked into my eyes
why do you say?
i mean it
i mean it when i say something
degrading about myself
you're the epitome of beauty
and look at me
i'm nowhere near
maybe people wouldn't like you anymore
if you'd be around me for longer
he fell quiet but not for long
jimin
you're the first friend that i have ever had
that doesn't know how beautiful he is
or that he's loved and not hated
he hugged me again
and i was left speechless
i hope you can forgive me, heather
i am sorry too, jimin
ー
[end of part 1 of diary entries]