Emma's P.O.V. October 8th
"Harry, this is not working," I tell him, out of breath and uncomfortable.
He lets out a deep sigh, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault," I try to make him feel better. I know he's been beating himself up over this for a bit now.
"I don't what else to try," he lowers his voice and presses his forehead to mine.
"It's okay," I run my fingers through his slightly damp hair.
"No, it's not okay. You've only just started your third trimester; I can't wait that long," he pauses, "I mean, I can. I'd just rather not."
"I know, baby. We can do other things," I suggest.
"It's not the same. I want to feel close to you," he pouts.
"We'll try again tomorrow. Right now, I'm tired and I just want to cuddle," Harry and I adjust so that he's spooning me, and I feel his breath slow against the hair on my neck.
October 24th
"Have you thought about attending pregnancy classes?" Annie asks as we speak over the phone.
"They have classes to teach you how to have sex while pregnant?" I ask her, dumbfounded.
"They have classes for everything. I think it's called "how to be intimate" or something, but that's basically what it is. Didn't you mention that you'd be going to a birthing class soon? I'm sure you can sign up then."
"I don't know, Annie. That seems a little out of Harry and I's comfort zone," I say, cringing at the thought of even bringing it up to him.
"Hey, you're the one who asked for advice on how to deal with your self-conscious and sex-deprived husband. I'm just trying to help," she reminds me.
"Fine. I guess it won't hurt to at least tell him about it."
"Progress!" Annie exclaims from her side of the line, "Where is Mr. Superman anyway?"
"He's downstairs helping Anne make dinner. I've been trying to catch up on work but really I was on my phone researching sex positions," I laugh at my pathetic self.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure most couples experience the same thing." Annie does have a point; Harry and I can't be the only sexually frustrated pregnant couple.
"How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?" I ask my best friend.
"I'm just that awesome, I guess," she says back in the cockiest tone.
"Yeah, whatever. I'm actually going to go now. Dinner should be ready soon and Charlie and I are starving," I catch myself using my baby voice—something I've been doing more lately.
"Alright, Mom. Go have a nice dinner, and then promise me you'll talk to Harry tonight," she says.
"I promise. Love you, bye."
"Love you too, Emma. Talk to you later."
I hang up the phone with Annie and close my laptop that's been sitting out on my desk, untouched for the better half of the day.
Making my way down the stairs and to the kitchen, I overhear Harry saying something to Anne about selling something. Not meaning to eavesdrop on purpose, I stand outside the kitchen where I'm out of sight and continue to listen.
"That is scary," Anne says, "I don't know how I feel about keeping it from her, though. I understand that you don't want to stress her, but this is important and affects her directly."
Harry is keeping something from me? I shouldn't have listened, now I'm just going to worry, which is the complete opposite of what they want me to do. Ugh. Maybe if Harry would have just told me to begin with, this wouldn't be a problem.
To prevent making myself feel even worse, I decide to make my presence known.
"Oh, hi babe," Harry sees me first, looking up from where he's just set tonight's Sunday roast on the counter.
"Hi. Is there anything I can help with?" I move to the fridge where I fill up my empty water bottle.
"We have everything taken care of, honey. You just take a seat at the table," Anne ushers me out of the kitchen and to the dining room where the table is already set.
A minute later, Harry is carrying dishes to the table and soon enough we're eating the delicious meal my husband and his mom made. Since it was getting so late, we invited Anne to stay the night so she wouldn't have to drive all the way home in the dark.
At around 10pm Anne heads to bed, so we do as well. When we get to our room, I suggest to Harry that we shower together.
"I don't know, it could be nice, and we've been struggling with intimacy lately," I play with the necklaces that hang around his neck while I speak.
"Hey, look at me," he lifts my chin with side of index finger, "I think that sounds lovely," he tells me and then presses a firm kiss to my lips.
"I love you," I tell him.
"I love you too, darling," he says back to me and then grabs my hand and pulls me into the bathroom.
"How about we take a bath instead?" Harry suggests.
"I'd like that," I go to take off my shirt while Harry gets the water warm, but he stops me before I get too far.
"Let me," he says, almost in a whisper and gently pulls the shirt off and over my head. We undress each other and Harry steps in the freestanding tub first, helping me get in afterwards.
I get situated between Harry's legs and let my back rest against his chest. He then brings his hands to my shoulders and begins to massage them. I hum in contentment and roll my head from side to side.
"Did you get a lot of work done today?" Harry says in a low tone, preserving the quietness we're relaxing in.
"I did this morning... then I got distracted," I admit to him, in just as soft of a voice as him.
"Distracted?"
"Yeah, I was looking at—well, not looking but researching I guess, alternative sex positions for pregnant couples..." I drift off, and Harry is silent for a second before responding.
"What did you find?" he softens his hands on my shoulders.
"Um, a lot of people suggest laying down in like, a spooning position. I also read that the bathtub is nice, something about floating?" I tell him my findings but get increasingly self-conscious as I go on.
"Hm," the movement of his hands come to stop, and he kisses the spot where my shoulder meets my neck, "I think it's worth a shot. Do you want to try tonight?"
"Not really, not tonight. Plus, your mom is in the house," I say.
"Since when has that ever stopped us?" I can tell he's smirking, "But that's okay, I actually wanted to talk to you about something. It can wait until we get out of the tub though." Harry kisses down the other side of my neck.
I hope he's referring to the conversation I overheard before dinner, because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I do try though. I try to focus on the gentle touches Harry leaves across my neck, shoulders, arms, and back, and for the most part, it works.
When the water nears cold, we get out and dress for bed. Luckily, my hair stayed dry, so I was able to quickly put on a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt, then crawl into bed.
"So, I've been concerned about the recent publicity we've been receiving," Harry starts as he sits up in bed with his back against the headboard. He moves my head to rest on his lap so he can play with my hair easier, something he does when he needs to tell me something important.
"I asked Jeff to look into the articles," he states plainly, but I let him finish his thought before jumping to conclusions or reacting prematurely.
"I found it unnerving how quickly the articles were coming out after a new picture would be taken, and they seemed to know a lot more information than they should have—like when we were leaving for London. I told Jeff all of this, and he did some digging and figured out that an outsider has been selling our information and photos to TMZ. I'm sorry it took so long for me to tell you." Wow, I was not expecting that.
"I wish you wouldn't have kept this from me," I sigh, "I understand you didn't want me to be worried, but I still am," I look up to him, not knowing even where to start on how concerning this is.
"I know, I should have talked to you as soon as I felt unsafe."
"You feel unsafe?" I stop him and his fingers halt in my hair until he speaks up again.
"Unsafe isn't the right word, but our privacy has been invaded. Until things are fixed, I'm going to feel uncomfortable when I'm out in public," Harry explains.
"How do we fix it?" I whisper.
"That's the thing. I don't know, baby. It's not like we can just ask TMZ to stop. They're obviously paying this person a lot of money and are making even more money off of the articles. I can't even think of anyone who may have a motive or the knowledge to do this."
"People are terrible," I mumble.
"People do terrible things, yes," Oh, here we go with this treat people with kindness shit again. I know Harry wants to be a good person, but whoever is selling our information is not a good person and I don't understand why we would treat them with respect if they don't treat us the same.
"I don't want to hear it, Harry," I snap, "Sorry, I'm just not in the mood."
"That's okay, I'm sorry."
"Can we go to sleep now, or is there more?"
"That's all. We can sleep now, my love," Harry bends down to kiss my forehead.
It takes a while for me to fall asleep, and when I do, I don't sleep through the night. At all. I don't have any dreams that I can remember, but I can't help but toss and turn. My mind is tired beyond belief, but my body won't rest. Charlie decided to wake up in the middle of the night as well and kick me like crazy. Harry's right when he says Charlie will grow up to be a soccer player.
October 31st
Harry and I's friend, Nick Grimshaw, is hosting a costume party tonight. Originally, we weren't going to attend, but at the last minute I convinced Harry that we should go. Since I can't drink, Harry has also stopped drinking. He says it's not fair that I have to change my body and habits when we're both the parents. We don't have much time left to go out as a couple without a kid to worry about, so I thought Harry and I could at least enjoy this night together, alcohol or not.
We weren't planning on attending when the invitations were sent last month, so now we're scrambling to get costumes. It was actually Harry's idea to dress as Winnie the Pooh and Tigger. I will be Pooh since I have his signature belly, and Harry will be Tigger. I think he fit's Harry's personality very well.
"Can you button this up, please?" I stand in front of Harry and motion to my onesie, "I tried but I can't do it myself. My belly is too big." Harry complies, and starts at my leg, fastening the buttons until he gets all the way to the top.
"My turn!" Harry pulls his hood up in a jump, waiting for his onesie to be buttoned as well. I do the best I can, but I refuse to squat where the buttons are too low for me to do while standing up.
"You really are Tigger," I laugh at him.
"I like him, so I'm going to take that as a compliment."
"I love you," I smile and extend my neck so I can reach his lips.
"Hmm, I love you too, my little Pooh bear," I pull away and shake my head, but Harry grips my hips and pulls me closer.
"I wasn't ready for you to go," he frowns and wraps his arms around me in a secure embrace.
"Okay, but we need to leave soon. I'm afraid you're starting to get too clingy since we haven't left the house or had much social interaction in three weeks." Harry and I have kept things lowkey since his confession regarding the articles. There also haven't been any more since then that I know of.
"Heyyy,"
"But I love it," I kiss him again and I do love this side of him; the cuddly, affectionate, constantly attached to my hip, Harry.
In the next ten minutes, we're out the door and headed to the Halloween party. I hope that if I can't change Harry's opinion on the holiday this year, that I can by next year when Charlie can dress up. Either way, I'm totally forcing him to join in on a group costume with Charlie and I.
The party has already started when we arrive, but people don't seem to be too drunk yet. Well, no one except for Grimmy himself. It's nice catching up with Harry and I's friends, although everyone almost exclusively asks about "baby Styles." I kind of hate that that's how people reference our baby, but my opinion is probably just tainted because of TMZ.
"Are you having fun?" Harry asks in my ear as we sway to the music, his hands placed on either side of my bump. I've noticed that as my stomach grows, Harry seems to fond over it more and more. Whether that's holding, talking, laying, anything, he's always paying attention.
Flashback
"What's that?" I ask Harry when he walks into our bedroom carrying a book.
"It's a book my mum used to read to me. I saw it at the grocery store today and I had to get it," he tells me and sits down next to me on the bed.
"Guess How Much I Love You," I read the title out loud, "That's cute, I love it."
"I was thinking we could read it tonight?" Harry says, sounding a little unsure.
"You want to read to Charlie?" I ask and he nods. "Okay, I think we should."
Harry lays down on the bed so that his head is right next to my belly. He holds the book up in the air and angles it, "so that Charlie can see the pictures."
"Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare's very long ears," Harry reads.
"He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening. 'Guess how much I love you,' he said. 'Oh, I don't think I could guess that,' said Big Nutbrown Hare.
'This much,' said Little Nutbrown Hare, stretching out his arms as wide as they could go.
Big Nutbrown Hare had even longer arms. 'But I love you this much,' he said. Hmm, that is a lot, thought Little Nutbrown Hare.
'I love you as high as I can reach,' said Little Nutbrown Hare.
...
'I love you right up to the moon,' he said, and closed his eyes.
'Oh, that's far,' said Big Nutbrown Hare. 'That is very, very far.'
Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hare into his bed of leaves. He leaned over and kissed him goodnight," Harry turned his neck and kissed my stomach.
"Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile, 'I love you right up to the moon and back.'"
After Harry finishes the book, he closes it and rolls over to set it on his nightstand. Rolling over again to lay with his head resting against my stomach, he starts by humming, and eventually sings the nursery rhyme, You Are My Sunshine.
"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine.
You make me happy,
when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear,
how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
The other night, dear,
As I lay sleeping.
I dreamed I held you,
in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken.
And I hung my head and cried.
You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine.
You make me happy,
when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear,
how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Please don't take my sunshine away."
Since that day, Harry has either sung, read, or talked to Charlie before bed. It's quite adorable, and I find myself doing the same when I'm alone and it's just Charlie and I.
"I am having fun," I respond to Harry and turn in his arms so I can link mine around his neck. I still find the gap between us due to my growing stomach funny. It seems that every time I look, Charlie has gotten bigger, and it's just a reminder than they're coming very, very soon...
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A/N: 👀👀👀This was more of a filler, but we're getting close to the biiiiirth! Btw, as of the end of this chapter, Emma is 32 weeks.
Thank you, thank you, thank you again for all of your support🥺The first chapter has over 1k reads, which is INSANE!
I really appreciate the votes/comments too :)
<3