"Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift."― Dante Alighieri
++ C H A P T E R | T W E N T Y - E I G H T ++
"Elliott, come on! Get out of the shower!" Adrian yelled, banging on the bathroom door. Elliott had been in there for over an hour, and he was nervous. Rightfully so - Elliott was unstable, and this new string of events was enough to push anyone over the edge.
Anna touched Adrian's head. "I'll get him. Er, her." She was still trying to cope with the fact that her eldest was a girl.
"Elliott won't like that." Adrian said, but moved out of the way. He wasn't going to fight Anna if she wanted to help. In fact, she would probably be better at this.
Anna pushed the door open, poking her head into the bathroom. The shower curtain blocked her view, but she was determined. If Elliott was in some sort of danger, it was up to her to protect her child. She took a deep breath before pushing aside the curtain, her heart shattering at the sight of Elliott curled up into a ball. She wasn't moving, which frightened Anna.
"Elliott, please," Anna pleaded, watching as Elliott lifted her head slowly, taking in the sight of her foster mother. The woman she hated not even twenty four hours ago. Elliott felt horrible for what she said, but she couldn't seem to form words as she let the water wash everything away.
"Let me help you, alright?" Anna reached for Elliott, half expecting to be hit, but Elliott allowed Anna to lift her from the tub and wrap her in a towel. Elliott was shaking, her eyes clenched closed and her shoulders shaking. She was a mess.
Anna guided Elliott to her room and sat her down on the bed, moving towards the closet to find suitable clothes. She dug out a pair of plaid pajama pants and a baggie t-shirt, moving back towards Elliott.
She didn't question the scars, the welts, or the tattoos. She didn't question anything as she slid the shirt over Elliott's body, and then the boxers before the pants. Elliott let her do everything, still numb and unmoving. She hadn't said a single thing, nor did she want to.
"Elliott, do you want to talk about it?"
When Elliott said nothing, Anna understood. She tucked her daughter under the blankets, hoping things would eventually fix themselves, but even that was an impossible hope and Anna knew it.
Before Anna could turn away, Elliott clutched the back of her shirt. "Please don't leave."
That was all it took for Anna to sit in the chair beside Elliott, holding her hand. She wouldn't ask any questions, not until she was sure Elliott was ready, which Anna knew could be a long time from now. Instead, she just held her daughters hand until she found herself falling asleep as well.
Anna stood from the chair, her heart clenching at the sight of Elliott. She'd been afraid of her once before, but Anna knew Elliott wouldn't hurt her. Elliott was emotionally damaged before repair. Anna instantly forgave Elliott, knowing there was no staying mad at her. She was afraid, and rightfully so.
When Anna got downstairs, Mat and Adrian were in their rooms. Mat still knew nothing, and it made Anna anxious. How would the boy take it? Anna didn't even want to imagine Mat's reaction.
The sound of her phone made her jump. "Hello?"
"Hi, darling." Anna recognized Mark's voice on the other side of the line, and she smiled.
"Hi, Mark."
"How are you doing? How is Elliott?" Anna let out a sigh at Mark's questions. She wasn't sure how she was doing - she felt like an emotional rollercoaster. She wanted to tell him she was fine, but she wasn't even that, not really. She felt heartbroken for her new kids. She felt desperate to help Elliott. She felt like her kids were in a lot more danger than Elliott pretending to be a boy.
"I'm dealing. I don't know how I feel. And Elliott, poor Elliott. She's sleeping now, but you should have seen her face when I took her out of the shower, Mark. She'd been in there for over an hour. And she looked dead. I'm so worried about her!"
Mark was quiet for a moment. "She needs help, Anna."
Anna rubbed her forehead. "I know. But I can't do that to her, not now. She's eighteen and I can't make her do a single thing. Technically, she's not mine anymore. I have to adopt her if I want to keep her. If she doesn't want help, I can't force it upon her."
"Wait, what do you mean she isn't yours?"
"She's eighteen. Foster parents can only foster those under that age. She's not mine anymore. I'm really thinking of adopting her. I love her, Mark. I've only had her for a year but I really love her. Even when I thought she was a guy. And she's really temperamental and dangerous, but I don't care."
Mark got quiet again, and Anna feared it was him getting ready to scold her for being so trusting and loving. It was something she'd been yelled at for before, by her parents. She didn't need Mark doing the same.
But, he surprised her. "If you want to, then you should. If you're worried about our relationship, don't be. I don't mind coming after your kids."
Anna closed her eyes. She'd been waiting all of her life for love. When she thought it wasn't coming for her, she decided to foster. She was afraid she'd never be a mother, not when guys didn't talk to her. And now Mark was here, and wanted to date her. She loved her kids, but she'd also never had love before. She wanted to say that he came first, but even she knew he didn't.
"I'm sorry. I've always wanted love but I thought I'd never find it. It's why I fostered the kids. They needed a mom and I wanted kids."
"I understand. But really, how are you?"
Anna couldn't help but smile at the fact that Mark was worried about her. He was the sweetest guy she'd ever met, and she felt so lucky he chose her.
"I don't know. I mean, I feel so bad for the kids. They've gone through so much. I mean, I saw the scars Elliott has. She was so abused, and I know the other two went through the same thing. I have no doubt they're covered in scars. They're so deprived of love, especially Elliott, and she refuses my love the most."
"You'll have to give her time." Mark urged. "Don't give up."
Anna wished it was that easy. Adrian and Elliott seemed to want to push her away every moment she got closer to them. Mat was the only one who accepted her, but she also knew it was because he was the youngest.
"I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow, though." Anna said, listening to his goodbye before hanging up. She looked up to find Adrian standing in the doorway, his eyes sad and his face closed off.
"I can't sleep."
Anna patted the seat next to her, and Adrian sat down beside her. He put his head in his hands and groaned. "It's all my fault."
Anna rubbed his back. "It isn't, Adrian. Don't blame yourself."
"But it is!" Adrian cried. "If Elliott and I hadn't been fighting, maybe I could have prevented it. Or, better yet, if I hadn't been such a disappointment as a son, maybe mother wouldn't have made her that way."
Anna watched as Adrian cried into his hands, and she wished she could take his pain away. No child deserved to feel so tormented.
"Adrian, you have to believe that it isn't your fault. It was bound to happen. Elliott isn't a boy. She's a girl. It isn't healthy for her to continue to pretend."
Adrian sat up straight. "But it isn't pretending! Elliott really believes she's a guy. She's afraid to think otherwise. Mother beat her into becoming a boy. She erased any memory of being a girl and transformed her into what mother thought was the perfect son. Elliott can't be a girl. She's too far gone for that."
Anna closed her eyes to stop herself from crying. "We can help her, Adrian."
"We can't. There is no helping Elliott. She isn't sane anymore. Mother is dragging her down and will never let her go. She's obsessed with Elliott. And Elliott is obsessed with her."
Anna was crying by the time Adrian was finished. Her heart was aching at the truth. She knew it was so much worse than Adrian was letting on, but that didn't matter.
"When Mother was pregnant with Mat, the doctor told her it was supposed to be a girl. Father named her Matilda and was excited, but mother was outraged. She tried to have a miscarriage by making herself fall and puncturing her stomach with knives - anything to kill the child. That's how much she hates the thought of having a daughter. No matter what she did, she couldn't kill Mat, so she had him. Turned out he was a boy anyway."
Anna was shaking so hard she could barely breathe. Their mother was a monster.
"There is nothing we can do to save Elliott, unless she lets us in." And with that, Adrian stood up and went back to his room, wishing that there was something he could do for his sister, but he knew there was nothing. Elliott was on her own.
* * *
Elliott ran faster, faster through the sea of trees. She was almost there, almost out of the woods. She could feel her heart beating, so fast, and she could feel the presence of mother behind, nipping at her heels.
So close, almost there, but Elliott couldn't seem to run any faster. Her lungs were about to give out, but that wouldn't stop the determination. She could see the clearly, could almost taste the fresh air of freedom on her tongue.
She was reaching, so close. She could see another pair of hands waiting at the end, waiting for her, and she pushed harder towards them. She needed help, she could see that now. She needed help to escape the forest, to escape mother once and for all.
Elliott stretched her hand, and wrapped her fingers around the outstretched hand. She pulled herself towards the figure, aware of the feel of mother's fingers wrapping around her other arm, but she pulled.
The other figure pulled her from mother's grasp, right out of the woods. It was so fast, Elliott stumbled into their chest, and for a moment, she stayed there, letting the sense of freedom wash over her. She had finally made it out, finally escaped the madness that was mother, because of help. She needed help.
She looked up, ready to thank Wes, but it wasn't Wes that was standing there, rocking her back and forth.
It was Brent.
She tried to pull away, but Brent tightened his hold on her, pushing his face closer to her. "Ellie, you can stop running now. You're safe."
Elliott shook her head wildly. She wasn't safe. She wasn't safe in the arms of Brent.
"Brent, come on. Let go." She twisted in his arms, but it was pointless. She wasn't nearly as strong as Brent, which had been proven countless times on the field. But, there was a sense of relaxation Elliott felt in his arms. A sense of safety that only came from trusting the other person.
Did she trust Brent? It was a question Elliott asked herself often, and usually the answer wasn't no, but not entirely yes either. She didn't know enough of Brent to make a decision.
"Pretty boy, you're free now. I'm only here to help."
Elliott looked into his eyes, trying to find the lie, but she couldn't. There wasn't a lie present in his eyes, nor his voice. If he was lying, he was damn good at it.
She collapsed against his chest again, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. "Brent, she's still out there somewhere, looking for me. Waiting."
Brent tightened his arms around her, pulling her closer. "She's never going to get you again, Elliott. You've escaped. You just needed a little help, that's all."
When Elliott looked up, Brent was gone. Everything surrounding her was gone. And she found herself falling, but this time, she sensed it was back up the rabbit hole instead of down it.
* * *
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