Sander had been walking back and forth across Robbe's apartment building. There were some street vendors around, and he had been sitting, drinking coffee and got up and paced again. He didn't even know where he was. He had checked from the alley, where Robbe's room faced down to, the curtain was closed and there was no light. It was only after eight, Robbe couldn't be sleeping. He was out somewhere, and Sander would just wait. Some time later, he didn't bother to check the time, he saw him from afar. The feeling of dejavu was not comforting. Sander quickly walked there.
Robbe just went into the building. Sander ran, and opening the front door, he called him, "Robbe."
Robbe stopped and turned to him. Sander walked in and closed the door. He walked to him, hesitantly, studying him. He stopped right in front of him, gazing at the boy that he had yearned for, so keenly. He felt the longing hit him hard, enveloped him. Sander studied him, reading his emotions, searching for what the boy felt for him in his eyes. Robbe own eyes were roaming over his face and into his eyes. And they stood there, just looked at each other, not moving, reaching but not quite. Robbe looked as worn out as him, and he wanted to kiss the weariness away.
When he leaned in and kissed him, Robbe gasped. The touch of their skins went through his body, filling him. He put his hand on his shoulder and kissed him again, but Robbe made a small whimpering sound and pushed him slightly on his chest with his hand. The gesture was enough. Sander stopped and looked down at that hand. He knew Robbe needed answer, words, but there were so much and he didn't know which ones to say or how. He laid his forehead on Robbe's, and sighed quietly. He heard Robbe sighing too, in frustation, but also in longing. Like he also wanted this, but knew that they could not just kept going like before. They rocked slowly in place, comforted by the contact, by each other presence; he felt Robbe rubbing his nose to his gently, and he returned the gesture.
With his hand still on his shoulder, he pulled his forehead back, and looked deep into his eyes. I love you Robbe, only you, can't you see that?
He said in genuine truth, "You and me. One hundred percent, forever." He put everything he felt for him into it, willing him to see through his eyes into his heart. "In every universe."
Robbe gazed at him, searching into him and Sander waited for him to decide, to believe him or to push him away. When Robbe moved in to kiss him, Sander welcomed it with his whole being. In that one kiss, everything they felt bled between them.
The next seconds, they were kissing each other desperately. Sander had dropped his bag and was grabbing and pushing Robbe to the wall. He was lucid enough to put his hand on the wall to soften the impact to Robbe's head. Sander felt like someone who had been starving for days and suddenly stumbled onto a feast. He kissed him with every fibers in his body, with all of him that he could not put into words. Robbe was kissing him back just as fiercely, and they moved together toward his flat door. They passed the door and Robbe tried to lock it with his mouth still on him, the door seemed to be broken or something. He made exasperated sound and let go of the door. Sander didn't care. They grabbed on each other and half stumbling into his room. Robbe hands were on his neck, and Sander pushed the door close roughly.
They were breathing heavily now, Robbe snatched on Sander's jacket and he tried to take it off. His hands were shaking. Sander was pulling off Robbe jacket from his shoulders, and Robbe was gasping for air when they broke apart. Sander smiled and swallowed his next gasp with his mouth. They took each other shirts off, kissing in between. Sander gripped on his waist and Robbe lead them to the bed. He fell on it, laughing a little. Robbe was above him, his mouth was moving down to his neck and throat. Sander shivered from the touch, he gasped but then he remembered.
"Wait, my shoes."
Robbe stopped and laughed. He sat up and untied his shoe laces with his trembling hands. Robbe hands were still around his body, his face was on the back of his neck. His fingers were so fucking clumsy and it took too long. Robbe half-pulling his body to him didn't help at all.
"Stupid shoes!" He cursed a laugh and they were tottering on the bed. Robbe fell down from the bed, pulling him down with him. They ended up entangled on the carpet and giggled like drunken idiots. The separation felt too long and he kissed him upside down on the floor. Finally they got his shoes off, and he lay back on the bed, contented to have Robbe do whatever he wanted. Sander would do anything for him.
He was drowning in the sensation of Robbe's lips on his mouth and skin, his hand gripping on his hair; following his head down to his throat and shoulder, to his chest, over his heart; felt the cold metal of Robbe's necklace trailed on his body. There was a pleasant wet sensation of tongue on his nipple that made him gasped. He opened his eyes and rose his head, watching Robbe took it in his mouth.
Robbe suddenly stopped and looked up at him. Sander stared at the hesitant look in the soft black eyes and understood right away. He still mouthed a teasing Ah! though and rose his body a little to kiss him his answer. He turned the boy slowly and laid him on the bed.
He looked down into his eyes and smiled. He wanted to show him how much he loved him, every single part of him, that this was more than sex to him. Sander touched his lips to his eyelids, on the bridge of his nose and kissed his mouth slowly, moving along his jawline and his cheekbone, down to the side of his neck to his collar bone, and he heard Robbe's soft moans. He planted a kiss right on the hollow of his throat, where he could felt the beats of his heart. Soft and deep kisses on his chest, over his ribs, and belly, and felt him shivered under him. He started to unbuckle Robbe's belt, and pulled down his pants. He stood up and quickly took off the rest of his clothes. Robbe had opened his eyes and staring at him. He pushed his legs lightly to each side, and half-lay on top of him. He kissed him again, deep and slow, reaching for his hands, and felt Robbe clasped his hands back.
He then took one of his hand to his mouth and ran his lips up the inside of his lower arm, along his pulse, and kissed hard on his palm. He took the other hand, and kissed his fingers one by one. And then he took his middle finger in his mouth, and sucked hard on it. Robbe gasped loudly and Sander looked up to his eyes that had darken with a new intensity.
"I want.." Robbe said in a low croaky voice.
Sander smiled wickedly at him and whispered, "Yes?"
Robbe blushed furiously but he only swallowed.
Sander murmured, "I know."
He ran his fingers down the side of his body, wandered around on the skin over his waistband. Slowly, still keeping contact with Robbe's eyes, he slipped down the boy's boxer. He touched him lightly and heard a sharp intake. He went down and kissed him along his waist line, touching on the soft hair there. He stroke the hairs on his lower leg, and caressed the inside of his thigh with his lips and tongue. He looked up; Robbe was watching him, his eyes were pools of darkness. When he took him in his mouth, Robbe groaned, pulling and pushing on his hair. Robbe's desire made him wild. When he felt that it was enough, he grasped and turned his body around, non too gently.
"Hold it," he whispered hoarsely into his ear.
Robbe grunted.
He gripped on that silky and soft hair, his mouth sliding on the skin near his ear. He started half-kissing half-biting the muscles on his shoulders and back. Robbe was quivering and moaning. Sander was getting really hard now; it was throbbing, and his mouth and hands hungrily glided over his skin. He kissed hard on the soft spot right between and over his buttocks. When he grabbed them and ran his fingers between them, he felt Robbe tensed under him.
He smiled to himself and kissed him on one side lightly and then he moved back up and said softly into his ear, "Don't worry, we are not doing anything you don't want to."
Robbe nodded his head lightly. Sander didn't bring any lube anyway, not like he planned for this. It just his desire running wild for a moment. This was about Robbe, and his love for him. He turned him back and kissed him again more fervently this time.
He felt Robbe grabbed his hardness in his hand, and he gasped in surprise and pleasure. They gripped on each other, pulling each other closer, even though they were already glued together. They were taking each other in, more and more into both of them, consuming and filling each other. Their mouths and their hearts, their skins had become one, he could not tell where one started and the other ended. His blood racing, and the pressure was rising up inside of him. They moved faster, urgent; fire searing hot, wrapping both of them. It kept climbing higher and higher, until it finally blowed up and out with a force of aftershock waves. When it was over, they lay back, trembling and gasping for a while.
They turned their heads to each other, Robbe smiled broadly and Sander laughed. Robbe scooted to him and Sander hugged him close to his body. He was so tired in an amazing way, and he breathed out a contented sigh, enjoying Robbe's warmth on him. Robbe had closed his eyes. Sander sleepily kissed his hair gently and murmured, "I love you, Robin." He fell asleep right away.