-------------------Mew's POV---------------------
I can't believe I have to live with someone else, not to mention that it turned to be the interior designer I'm going to work with, when I first heard that I'll be working on a hotel, I felt so lucky, it's my first time working on such big project although I'm aware that's going to be really hard and need a lot of preparation and meetings, the only point that I don't like that I have to work with Gulf most of the time and now we are even living under the same roof
Of course when the landlord came and talked to me about sharing the apt with someone I refused immediately yet she told me it's a such for me to make a friend and become more open she also mentioned how easier it will be sharing the rent and the chores but I kept refusing, seeing that I won't change my mind she had no choice but to threaten me
"I didn't want to sound me or do this but you leave me no choice, you either accept to share the apt or you have to move out, unlike you the young man has nowhere else to go since he just came back from abroad and also have two little kids to take care of"
"what? I can't move out, I already completely settled in and I really like it here, besides it's impossible for me to live with someone"
"you have to accept it, think of it as a chance for you to change your life style and be more open and also helping someone, anyway, this is my decision, make sure to leave two rooms empty for them, I will deliver a bunk bed and a bed and a few other things for your new housemate, we will talk about the rent and other things some other time" she said and left not leaving me any chance to argue
Things started to be delivered from the beds to desk and many boxes while I had to silently watch the men moving them inside, I imagined that the one coming is an old man who got a divorce and have two noisy children which already made me feel so irritated but I never would have guessed that it will be Gulf with his sister's kids coming
It's not like I hate him as a person, I have nothing against him, he has his own life and I'm sure he has his reasons for suddenly coming back from Japan and starting his life here, it's my problem for not being able to accept people around me along with my phobia, I can't help but act cold and indifferent toward everyone
I did want to be cured, I really did my best during my therapy sessions with my psychiatrist yet I was so traumatized and hurt that even the doctor failed to find a solution for me, I keep getting doubtful of everyone, I can't trust anyone, I'm even scared of my own father and the thoughts of him betraying me one day still lingers in my mind even after all those years of him supporting me and taking care of me which makes me feel guilty
That's why I made things clear with him stating my rules, I'm sure he understand that I have no attention of getting along with him, he introduced his friend Mild and even notified me that he may visit a few times and that they will never disturb me before going into his room and started unpacking his things.
*************************************
A few weeks has passed, I imagined that it will be hellish living with him and that I will be angry and restless all the time but surprisingly he respected all my rules, he would go out along with the twins from early in the morning and only comes back around 5 p.m everyday except on Sundays, we barely talked and only met when preparing dinner, separately of course, I could tell he has no experience in cooking but was doing his best to make edible food for the twins
At some point I thought that it wasn't that bad living with someone who respect the rules, he never tried to get close to me or ask me anything except about trivial things like when I was going to do my laundry or about cleaning the house that was actually done by someone from a cleaning agency that I hired and he offered to share the cleaning expenses with me, seeing him doing his best taking care of the kids and carefully managing everything and seriously learning about cooking and house chores made me think that he could be a good person
A part of my stupid mind kept forcing me to stay away and keep my contact with him at the minimum level, my trauma really destroyed my life and I know there is no chance for me to even exchange a small talk with him or even the innocent kids who kept happily playing with my dog, on the other hand, I couldn't help but find myself wonder about their parents
"uncle, I want to see mama and papa"
"me too, I miss mama and papa" I overheard the twins while I was cooking in the kitchen and they were watching TV with Gulf in the living room, I could actually see them from the kitchen and I was a bit surprised by the designer's expression, he quickly turned pale and went silent for a minute but then smiled
"your mama and papa are very busy with work, they are in a very far place working so they can buy you the big red car you liked" he said but I could tell that it was a lie from his voice
"really?! The red car?" Nit asked excited
"I want the red car too" Nin added jumping by his knees
"that's why mama and papa are working because they need money to buy it, for now you have to live with me until they come back or do hate me?"
"no! I love you uncle!" Nin said
"you always make us happy, we will wait for mama and papa!" Nit said, I glanced for a second to see that he was faking a smile looking guilty and sad, there is no doubt that smth bad happened to his older sister and her husband, there is no parents who would leave two children with a young man and leave for work to a far country just like that
I suddenly stopped thinking surprised by my own thoughts; It's my first time getting curious about someone else's life, he looked so mysterious hiding a very big truth from the innocent kids who re-focused on the cartoon on the TV as he looked down looking very depressed, his expression would get very dark sometimes and that must be why I got suddenly curious about the kids' parents, either way, I hope they soon return to live with their parents, although I had a terrible experience with mine, I wish that all the innocent children get a good happy life with their parents, I really don't want anyone to go through the same experience as me.
*********************************
On Sunday, I woke up a little late since I had to work until very late to finish the first prototype since we are going to meet this Monday and start working with Gulf, just when I got out of my room I found my father sitting with Gulf by the dining table talking while the kids were playing in their room with the door open
"oh, Mew, good morning" my father said with a small smile
" 'morning, when did you come?"
"about 15 min ago, I'm surprised to see that you got a housemate"
"I had no choice but to accept sharing the place with him, it was the landlord decision"
"you don't have to say it like that, anyway, don't be mean to him and don't scare the kids"
"I'm not a monster"
"I know you're not but your personality make people get the wrong idea about you"
"I don't care" I said going into the bathroom and then went to the kitchen to prepare a light brunch for myself while they kept exchanging small talks
"... so you lived most of your life in Japan?" my father asked
"yes, but nothing can beat our home country, even my parents would love to come back but they were transferred to the main branch of their company in America, my little sister also plan on coming back straight away after graduation"
"it must be hard to start from scratch here as an interior designer"
"honestly yes, especially that many things and places had changed, that's why I kept walking around discovering all kind of places and shops that are needed for my work, I'm going to start working a big project soon but I also need to get used to living here that's why I'm doing a part time job during the day until I officially join a company or a team for my work"
"you are really amazing, you are also taking care of your older sister's kids, it's very responsible from you, I'm sure your parents are so proud of you"
"I hope they are, they really sacrificed so much to support me and help me to become who I am today, I really owe them a lot"
"as a father I can assure you that you are a precious son to them and they will surely keep supporting you through everything"
"believe me, they already did, you too, you must be proud of your son, he is an amazing and well-recognized architect, he is also independent and very responsible" my father glanced to me and smiled softly
"yes, I am, he is my only and cherished son and will always be with him through everything no matter how old he is" they smiled sipping from the cup of teas they had, my father's words were like needles pricking my heart and made me feel blameworthy for all the hurtful and bad things I said and did to him, I ignored him and was very cold to him all those years yet he sounded genuine when he talked about me
I really hate myself for being doubtful about him, it's all my trauma and phobia's fault, I wish I could reset my memories or erase the bad ones and go back in time and treat my father in a good way but I can't do it, I always find myself being apathetic around everyone, I won't blame him if one day he ends up hating me and disowning me... Gulf walked and joined the twins in their room
"you have a very nice and friendly housemate, I know it's hard for you to get along with him but at least try to give him a chance, you can at least have someone you can talk to from time to time and keep you company instead of being alone all the time"
"you already know that it's impossible for someone like me"
"don't think that it's impossible, you must try first, give him a chance, the children loves him and that already shows that at least he is a good man, it's already thanks to him that we could have this conversation, you must try Mew, personally, I find the fact of him becoming your housemate as a golden chance for you to try and change your life a little"
"changing my life... I'm already 28 years old and I've lived like this for over 10 years, it's too late to change it now"
"better late than never son, no matter what may happen, I'm here for you, think of a Gulf as a way or a chance or a door or anything that will help you to heal, even a little to have a brighter life" my father's words were hitting me hard, I completely understand that he is trying to help me, I'm well aware that he is always worried and very sad about my current life, honestly, it's the first time in a very long time that we had a decent conversation
"I don't know, it's not like I don't want to change, it's my mind that keep blocking me and holding me back from approaching other people" he looked sadly with a sorrowful smile
"I know, I really understand you son, I can't blame you for being distant and doubtful of everyone, even me, however, I want you to move forward, to get smth that will heal your wounds and create a happier future" I was stunned to know that he understood me that much
"I can't promise anything... but I will try" I said after a minute of silence, a shiny grin appeared on his face, I could tell that he even wanted to jump and hug me... after exchanging another random small talk with Gulf, my father said his goodbye and left, maybe it was wrong to make him so hopeful, I really can't see myself talking casually with someone else especially a stranger, yet I didn't know that the serious talk I just had with my father for the first time in many years has already affected me a bit
"you have an amazing, kind and understanding father" Gulf suddenly said taking me by surprise while he was preparing lunch for the twins
"tha-thank you" he shot me a quick smile and continued cooking, I looked away trying to focus on my book but I actually got surprised at myself for thanking him, usually I would ignore him.
Maybe... just maybe, there is a tiny slim chance of me taking one step and will be able to have a decent conversation with him in the near future.