TW: quite graphic self harm
"I love you" he whispers through the door as you lean your back against it.
You kneel down and receive the food through the cat flap he had installed. You can't complain, you did bring this upon yourself. You had looked at another man, which was strictly forbidden, which you knew. Slowly you pick up the food and carry it back to your bed, chewing slowly.
"You know this is for your own god sweetheart, he could have done anything to you" Ethan calls and you nod before remembering that he can't see you. He must have been so lonely last night without you. The thought makes you sadder still.
"I just want you safe" he calls before leaving. Of course he did.
"Love you too" you call back, returning to your food. You vowed to never let another person touch you again.
But you had broken that promise.
With this thought you wake, panting and sweating as you roll from under the covers and try to control your breathing. You had broken your promise, you had let The Doctor touch you.
Even worse you had... enjoyed it.
Running your hands through your hair you make your way to the bathroom where you splash water on your face, curling up in the floor with your head between your knees, sobbing quietly. After everything he did for you and this is how you repaid him. God you were a sorry excuse for a girlfriend.
You know at had to be done now, but you don't have anything to do it with. Usually he would punish you, and that was what's you deserved. Or he'd supervise as you did it to yourself.
Gaining inspiration, you roll up your sleeve and look at the rippled skin. You knew there were no weapons in your room, so instead get creative. You search though the cupboards and find a mini sewing kit.
Hand shaking, you thread a needle and tie a knot, making the first stitch in your skin. You yank experimentally and it holds successfully, a bead of blood settling.
You do this again, getting into a rhythm as you create stitch after stitch, the thread growing shorter with the wounds beginning to ooze violently, your head getting dizzy and the air thick with the smell of blood.
"(Y/n)?" Someone calls just outside your door but you don't halt in your progress. You hadn't even heard them approach.
"(Y/n) is everything alright? I thought I heard something?"
Yes that would be the tears and blood falling from your face and wrists.
"I'm coming in" you hear the lock click and kick it back shut.
"No! Don't come in! Please" you beg as The Doctor pushes on the handle.
"Why? Let me in (Y/n)" she says "I can help"
"No you can't" you say as she manages to push it open, gasping when she sees you. "You really can't"
"Oh god, ok wrap your arm in this, when did you, how, why-?" She starts then stops as you kick out at her. She dodges it and looks at you carefully.
"No don't come near! Please I've broken enough rules. This is my punishment, don't make me do more" you beg and she pauses, tossing you a towel which you press against your arm.
Her face hardens and something in her usually glittering eyes seem to dull.
"Right, you listen to me (Y/n). I've seen enough. What Ethan has done to you, the influence he has on you even when he is no where in sight is not normal! Please this isn't healthy, and it certainly isn't love. Just please, trust me. You don't have to live like this (Y/n)"
You look up into her eyes to see them shining with tears.
"I, I can't!"
"Yes you can, you can live freely, talk to whoever you want, do whatever you want! There is so much possibility and you keep turning away from it, over and over again. I can show you the way, all your have to do would be to take my hand and let me. So please, (Y/n) I'm begging you. Take my hand"
She extends it and you stare for a long time, spinning it in your mind. The Doctor was a good person, that was apparent. So why was she bothering with you? But you could do it. Ethan wasn't here right now. You could take her hand, he would never have to know.
Slowly, ever so slowly, you slip your hand into hers, allowing her to pull you to your feet.
The dawning smile on her face is enough to encourage an almost carefree smile from yourself.
If you even remembered how to do that.