Y/N's POV:
The adrenaline that coursed through me slowly wore off as the time I was straddled across his body continued. My breath loud and heavy, as the sweat beaded at the edge of my hairline, began to drip.
I won.
I said to myself over and over. A newfound confidence sprouted in my spirit.
I could still feel the pain from my shoulder as it slowly began to stitch itself together.
A smile grew on my lips as he stared back at me.
I had beat the cocky boy-prince Loki Laufeyson. The man with a cold heart.
This was something I could not take lightly. As much as I tried to hide my surprise and pride, my smile grew wider.
Just as I began to feel proud of myself he began to smile as well. That smile soon turned into crazed laughter and right before my eyes he disappeared. One second he was lying underneath me and the next he wasn't.
I had to blink once or twice before I could believe it.
The room fell silent and all I could hear was the sound of my own heartbeat pulsing through my body.
I looked around the mats in confusion.
What the hell.
Then, in the hallway of one of the passages, clapping started. Slow, loud claps echoing off the brick walls.
A tall figure's shadow cast against the stone bricks growing taller as it approached.
I quickly jolted to my feet with the dagger in hand, careful not to make a sound.
With each step it took in its approach, I took one back. Looking behind me, the distance between the wall and my body was becoming closer.
The shadow had disappeared and all that was left was it standing in the doorway or should I say him.
I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath until I felt the heavy exhale when I lowered my weapon.
I slid the dagger back into its sheath "How?"
"Illusions, darling."
Of course. Loki, God of Mischief.
He smiled that same devilish smile. "You didn't actually think I was going to fight you? I have much more pressing matters to attend to than a girls' fight."
I stayed silent.
"You fell for that little trick back there in the library as well. Another illusion, though you believed it well. Did you really think I wanted to kiss you? I wouldn't blame you. If I was in your position and an incredibly handsome, prince I might add gave me the slightest bit of attention I too might fold."
The words stung against my chest. My memory flashed back to the very same moment on the balcony of the ballroom but, I quickly shook away the thought.
"Did you really think I wanted to kiss you?" I bit back "I said no, and last I remembered I told you to stay the hell away from me."
"And yet you didn't tell me to leave when we chatted in the library and you still came to this fight. Why's that?" he spoke crossing his arms over each other.
"I didn't have much choice in the matter did I? Who knows what you would have spread around if I hadn't come." The truth was I hadn't known why I had come. I doubt he had any friends to spread rumours too but, it seemed to be the only convincing answer of why I came.
I turned to leave wondering if he would say anything back.
Silence.
I was too angry with myself to care anymore. I didn't care. I didn't care what he had to say and I certainly didn't care what he thought of me.
Loki's POV:
She walked away angrily, grabbing the sword that had been tossed during the battle.
It was my fault she was mad.
It was just so easy to push her buttons. I knew exactly what she disliked being reminded of and when it was the perfect time to remind her.
The problem was, as much as I enjoyed teasing her and making her angry, I was mad at myself for what I'd said to her.
Making her hate me was just easier.
To her, I was a cold-blooded prince who sat too high on his own thrown to care for anyone else and that was just how it was going to be.
That's how I acted around everyone else.
Although, it was enjoyable seeing her face turn a deep red at her cheekbones with each insult I threw at her.
Besides she did have a way of getting on my nerves as well.
And if getting her riled up was the only way I would seem normal in her presence then that was just how it was going to be for the time being.
I didn't know why I was having even the slightest of feelings of caring towards her.
We were supposed to hate each other— or at least she did. She'd rather slit my throat than stand by my side. I don't blame her. I would act the same if a darker-haired, terribly handsome prince said the things I've said to her.
It became easier now. Convincing myself I felt nothing. No one felt anything towards me. So why I to them.
My childhood had been practically shaped around lies, so what's one more? Lies just became easier now, and in many instances, they proved better than their truths.
It wasn't like there weren't dozens of women who practically fell at my feet the moment I walked in the room.
Irresistible some might say.
Though she didn't act the same way they did towards me. She wasn't bending over backwards trying to catch my eye as the others did. She didn't try and prove herself to me because she didn't feel there was something to prove. She didn't stare as I walked by, she made sure we didn't cross paths.
She was strong and sharp. In the short time she had been here she became one of the best warriors, although never being in war. I had watched her from afar as she trained every morning till sundown. Always keeping a close eye on the small details of each person learning and memorizing their fight patterns as she fought.
I noticed the way she took advantage when my foot dipped into the mat, giving her the perfect opportunity most wouldn't have noticed. Her every move was calculated and precise as if she was always three steps ahead of the game.
It only made her all the more compelling.
Y/N's POV:
That asshole. An absolute asshole.
I stormed out of the room and back into the armoury.
The next time I wouldn't let my guard down. I wouldn't let him weasel his way in and trick me.
I couldn't help but laugh slightly at his arrogance. The way he always seemed to be able to compliment himself even when he wasn't trying.
I couldn't deny it. He was handsome. His black hair complimented his ivory skin.
His cheekbones perfectly chiselled, enough so one might assume they were carved from the gods by hand.
And his eyes.
Mesmerizing to say the least.
That ocean blue, so perfect you could get lost in them, like a ship in a storm.
His broad shoulders and a tall, lean figure were almost pristine.
He towered over people when he stood next to them, as he was almost 6'5.
A smile started to creep onto my face and I stopped myself just before it had started. Reminding myself of the awful things he had said to me.
Apart from me wanted to believe that he was just a cold and heartless man. Deep down all I felt was remorse. I felt sorry for him.
Not many knew who I was nor did they know my appearance. Maids and servants usually walked by without registering that I was even in their vicinity. People talked, that talk was often said around the maids and servants who went unnoticed as well.
I often picked up on what they said. The rumours that were spread.
I heard about Loki's life. The "horrible mistake" as some would call it the "unwanted child".
I had come to learn that Loki was not Odin's son. Not that they looked similar in any way.
He was taken as an infant. What I heard was that it was not out of love for the child, but for a reason to restore peace between Asgard and Jotunheim.
I could only imagine how he felt once he found out.
Looking back in his life to the instances that he once didn't understand but now knew were because he was different.
Not that he or anyone knew besides Odin and Frigga. The difference in behaviour towards Loki, as opposed to Thor, went unnoticed—till now.
I wanted to see good in him but I often thought back to what he said time and time again towards me.
"Did you actually think I would kiss you?" As if him kissing me, the outsider, the mortal was seen as something to be shamed upon.
My mother had fallen for a mortal and as I had heard from her, she was never told who she could or couldn't love.
It wasn't like there was a rule book forbidding it.
I had only cried once, the night of the dance. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't cry again or let his chilled words affect me in any way.
He searched for power, a power I would no longer let him have.
As much as I tried to, though not showing it on the outside I always wondered in the back of my mind.
Did he mean those things?
I quickly answered the question myself.
He's Loki.
I didn't bother changing out of the clothes I was in and decided to take some of the maid's paths that were less travelled through the palace.
Making it back to my room I peeled them off of my skin and began running the water for a bath.
The sweat that had once been on my forehead now resides in place I wish they weren't.
I slipped into the bath, the warm water relaxing my tensed and sore muscles. I washed the sweat from me before washing my hair and getting out.
—
I left my room heading on my way to the dining hall for dinner.
Locking the door behind me I slid the key into one of the pockets of my white dress.
The silk fabric ran down to my ankles, hugging my curves as it flowed down my thighs.
It had a low neckline where my gold necklace lay face up. An emerald jewel-shaped into a small circle.
My mothers.
It had been delivered sometime after I had gotten to my room with a note from Tony. He had rushed the process so I could get it as soon as possible.
I was thankful he had gotten it to me before I had forgotten about it.
I held it at my neckline as I continued walking down the halls.
I had reached the dining doors, friends probably expecting my arrival but I couldn't go.
I couldn't bring myself to put on a fake smile and pretend to enjoy myself. It took too much of my energy and a lot of that energy I no longer had.
Every day I woke up was a battle. As much as I wanted to stay in bed I couldn't.
I knew she wouldn't have allowed me to "waste my life" as she would call it. Some days were harder than others. Tonight was one of those days.
I held my head on the door for a second before turning to leave.
I knew where I wanted to go but I didn't want to risk ending up in the presence of unwanted company so I changed directions.
I walked the halls aimlessly as I did most of the time I had nothing to do until I saw Frigga talking to someone a few feet ahead of me.
Before I could move out of her gaze she saw me. I damned myself in my head. She was a sweet lady but I didn't have the heart to tell her I wanted to be alone.
"Y/N," she began, her voice so soft and calming.
"Frigga," I bowed.
"I haven't had the time to come visit you and offer my condolences for your mother. She was a dear friend of mind. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now."
"Thank you, I'm just spending each day busy. The distractions are nice. They help."
She smiled, her eyes pitiful, "I hope that the ceremony tomorrow isn't too much. I only wish to show her respect, as she did to me."
"She would've appreciated it. " I smiled.
She took my hands in hers, "Would you like to walk with me?"
I nodded. She led me down a hallway I had never seen before. It was hidden behind a curtain I had walked by countless times.
I wasn't surprised. The palace was huge; there were bound to be hallways and passages I would never know of.
We walked towards a stone archway leading outside. A garden lay in front of it.
Vines as tall as pillars clung to the walls behind me as I edged my way forward. Hedges lined the pathway as roses sprouted from out of them, perfectly trimmed and maintained.
Tan stone bricks created a pathway leading towards a bench of white stone. Behind the bench, a large tree stood tall. Its thick trunk blocked whatever view was behind it. Branches sprouted from every angle, as leaves of different colours swayed in the wind.
"I come here often, to clear my thoughts."
"It's beautiful."
She smiled, "I feel a lot more is on your mind than just your mother. Do you wish to talk about it?" she finished guiding us to the stone bench that sat in the middle of the path.
Before I could try to deny it she continued "A mother always knows."
Her voice not pitiful anymore, curious but kind. Her features were caring. I knew it would feel good to tell someone how I felt but I still hesitated.
"I— I've had a lot on my mind since the accident. I could've done more. I could've prevented it from happening." I left out the part about Bucky, not knowing if she had already been filled in on the details I didn't feel were necessary to repeat.
I felt like I hadn't fully let myself process what had happened. Not only the fact that my mother had died but the more minor details.
The machine placed over my head to alter my dreams and get inside my head, the scientist who led me and Bucky out of the building, how he somehow knew Bucky and how both men who captured me and the man at the lab knew of something that my father had taken and given to me.
The more I thought the more I wondered if Frigga could hear my thoughts as we sat there quietly.
"Do you think there was anything you could've done? Truly?"
"I don't know. Sometimes I think about what I could've done or what I shouldn't have done that could've prolonged her life. Then again it just feels like it didn't matter. I don't think they would have kept her alive if I hadn't come."
"You want to know what I think?"
I took a second then nodded.
"I think that they had a plan set in mind if you were to come and if you weren't. I don't think you could've done anything else if they knew that her death was the endgame."
It lifted some weight from my chest having a second opinion. Especially that opinion being from the Queen.
"I know that Loki has been spending some time with you and I also know how much of a pain he can be at times. I hope he's not bothering you too much."
"Nothing I can't handle."
"That's good. That's good. He's been through a lot. Most times he gets into trouble out of misunderstanding and sometimes it's because he's just in the mood for causing mischief." she smiled and continued "Don't let his dark appearance distract you from what's inside. He acts the way he does for his own reasons. Some I may never understand and some I try to."
I could see the hurt in her eyes. Like she blamed herself for the way he had been treated as he was younger.
"I know word travels around here and you've probably heard most of the rumours about his past. I do try and help him but I'm his mother I'm not the same as a friend. I'm hoping that maybe you can try and see the good in him as you do with Thor."
"Sometimes kindness and understanding can only travel so far." I decided to leave out the fact that he's probably said worse things to me than I've heard from anyone else.
"I know." she smiled "You can come here as much as you'd like." she finished getting up to leave.
"Thank you."
She nodded.
She walked down the garden path and back into the hallway leaving me alone.
The moon was bright tonight. The stars shone clearly in the sky as the night had been ridden of clouds.
I lifted my weight from on top of the bench and began walking towards the grassed area. I slipped off my sandals and let my feet sink into the grass.
It was cold against my skin as I padded my way over to look out to the rest of the city.
Lifting my hands to place them on the stone's edge my breath caught in my lungs.
It was breathtaking.
The well-lit roads that led in and out of the city as lanterns hung on light posts. People walked in and out of stores. I could hear laughter all the way from where I was standing.
Life was still going on.
It seemed as though in the world I had made for myself in my head slowed time but really it had blurred my vision of reality.
Life still went on no matter what happened in my life because people experienced it every day.
Loss, heartbreak and sadness were things everyone suffered and it felt like mine had made me feel as if no one understood.
It felt like I had been falling, not gracefully but against my will. My limbs felt heavier and my mind weighed down on me with each passing day.
After seeing the city so full of life and happiness, a small portion of that weight was lifted.
It was easier to breathe now.
I started reminiscing on the memories that I had of her. The times that I was angry and yelled at her and the times that I cried and she comforted me.
I also began to think of what Frigga had said regarding Loki.
She was sincere, and she was his mother. I could almost feel her love for him radiating from her as she spoke.
He wasn't a monster as some claimed him to be. He stabbed people in the back yes, without reason, sometimes.
The more I thought of him, the more it made me sound as if I was trying to convince myself that he wasn't as awful as he came off as.
I felt like I could see right through him.
Feel what he was feeling and see what he was seeing, but through a different lens.
A lens that wanted to care for him and reach out to him when he needed it, but then I pulled myself back to where I was standing.
You really thought I would kiss you? Do you think you have that effect on me?
Were all the words I needed to remember to take that caring lens I once tried to wear and smash it into a million pieces.
He was not deserving of my sanctuary from the storm that clouded his mind.
And I would prove to him just how much he wanted it.