“Woah! Kalthoum are you going to a wedding or something?” Hana asked as her friend stepped into the house behind her brother and his fiancée.
Kalthoum gave her a sheepish grin, and tugged self-consciously at her Hijab.
“I was just trying to look nice! It’s not too much is it?” she asked worriedly. Hana glanced over Kalthoum’s outfit which was covered in sparkles and beads and sequins and stifled a grimace. It was a gaudy and loud outfit, and unfortunately it looked like her friend was trying too hard. Plus, it made Hana, who was wearing a plain black Abaya and a green scarf, feel underdressed.
“Um, you look great Kalthoum.” She said, trying to sound sincere, and her friend beamed.
“You think Houssam will like it?”
Hana’s fists clenched.
“I don’t know Kalthoum. Plus aren’t your intentions in the wrong place?”
At least her friend had the decency to blush.
“Well I didn’t dress up for him! I just wanted to feel good about myself!
Yeah. Sure.
“Whatever you say.” Hana said, following Kalthoum as she walked towards the living room.
“So I’ve never been to Yusra and Amir’s! It’s a nice house MashaAllah! Really big!” Kalthoum said looking around in admiration.
“Well it’s actually Houssam’s house, they just rent it from him.”
Ugh why did she say that?!
Kalthoum’s eyes sparkled with interest.
“Really? Wow that’s,” she paused to run a hand over one of the walls, “impressive.”
Just as Hana was seriously contemplating pushing her friend over, Yusra appeared from the kitchen.
“Oh salaam girls! Habibti Kalthoum, why don’t you go on ahead to the living room, and Hana can you help me in the kitchen?” Yusra asked, inclining her head in the direction of the room, and as Kalthoum headed towards wshere the other ladies were sitting, Yusra took Hana’s hand.
“How are you holding up?”
Hana gave a shrug.
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“You looked like you were going to punch Kalthoum.” She said with a smile, and Hana laughed.
“Didn’t know I was that obvious. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize! I want you to have a good time, so from this moment on, all thoughts of my brother must be removed from your mind!”
“Yusra! Shh!” Hana exclaimed looking anxiously around the room, and Yusra laughed.
“Don’t worry, he is upstairs with the kids.”
“There are other people in the house.” Hana grumbled, and Yusra smiled.
“Okay I won’t say anything else. But seriously please try to have a good time tonight?” she pleaded, and Hana nodded.
“I’ll try.”
“Good, Do you want to go in the living room and entertain the other ladies or do you want to come help Ilham and I prepare the table?”
“I’ll come with you.” She hurried to answer, and Yusra laughed, taking Hana’s hand and pulling her behind her.
Once they had entered the kitchen, Hana greeted Ilham, and the three of them worked quietly preparing the food and taking it to the dining room table. Ten minutes later as Ilham, being the perfectionist that she is, was putting the finishing touches on the table, Yusra wiped her hands on her towel before looking at Hana.
“Habibti do you want to go call Houssam and the kids in to come and eat?”
Hana narrowed her eyes at Yusra who gave her an innocent smile in return.
While she wasn’t fooled, unless she wanted to bring it to Ilham’s attention about her feelings, she had to go upstairs and call them.
“Actually I’ll do it Yusra, I know Mohammad will give Houssam a hard time.” Ilham said to Hana’s relief, and as her sister left the room, Yusra smiled at her sheepishly.
“Okay don’t be mad at me!”
***
Houssam sat on the couch, bored out of his mind.
They had just finished eating dinner and praying Maghrib, and were waiting for Amir to finish making the tea so they could eat dessert. While he was grateful to Yusra and Amir for doing this dinner in his honor, and it was nice to have all of his friends around him, he just was feeling restless. He wanted to get up and move.
Right now they were discussing politics, and no offense to them, Houssam had no interest in it whatsoever. He was only half listening as Ahmad began to talk heatedly about some congressman, and when Hisham began to counter argue, waving his arms as if it would help prove his point, Houssam rose from his seat, and slipped out of the room, hurrying to the backyard before Yusra or Amir could see him and scold him for running away from his guests.
As he closed the sliding glass door behind him, and the cool air enveloped him, he let out a deep breath he wasn’t even aware he had been holding. For some reason it had been stifling in the room, which was weird because it’s not like it was strangers he had to sit with. Those were his friends. But lately he had had this sadness in the pit of his stomach and he wished he could figure out why it was there. He had thought his loneliness had gone away ever since he had gotten home, and the first few weeks it had. But lately it was back full force, and he while he had some theories as to why it had returned, he couldn’t pin point a specific cause.
Perhaps it was due to how alone he was most of the time, a one year old baby didn’t make for the most riveting of conversationalists. Perhaps it was because wherever he looked he was surrounded by happy couples. Hisham and Ilham, Amir and Yusra, and now Ahmad and Laila. Maybe he was homesick for LA, or he missed his teammates and being able to play basketball. Maybe his feelings for Kalthoum were deeper than he realized.
Or maybe it was because the person who he had come to see as a close friend was ignoring him.
If Hisham had told Houssam what he did, he couldn’t even imagine what he had told Hana. Perhaps she was staying away because of what her brother had said? Or maybe she didn’t enjoy his company and finally had had enough of him imposing on her? Of course she could just be keeping her distance from an Islamic point of view. Whatever the case may be, the hole that she had filled ever since he had come into her company again, was wider than ever now that she wasn’t there. It was weird how much he cared about her, as a friend and a sister. He had never felt close to a girl who he was not related to before, and it was a bit unsettling.
But he found himself utterly and completely intrigued by her. Everything about her from her opinions to her thoughts, to her writings, to her smile fascinated him, and it made him want to spend forever learning about her. It hadn’t escaped his notice that more than one person had asked him if he had feelings for her, but he didn’t! He honestly didn’t. When he looked at her, he felt his heart swell from happiness, and he honestly enjoyed talking with her, but there was no romance there. Part of him was relieved he didn’t like her like that because if he did, he knew he would fall hard for her. And as he knew for a fact she didn’t have feelings for him, he wouldn’t be able to handle such rejection. He may have a macho manly attitude, but he was a softy inside, and when he loved someone, he loved with all of his heart and soul, with devotion that never wavered.
As he leaned against the railing of the fence that surrounded the pool, he heard the sliding glass door open, and he watched curiously as Kalthoum stepped into the backyard. As he was shrouded in the darkness, the lights hadn’t come on yet, she hadn’t noticed that he was there yet, and he took the time to study her. For some reason she was dressed as if she was going to some fancy party, and while it was a nice outfit, it had to be uncomfortable for a small dinner, and looked better suited for Eid prayer or a wedding. But nonetheless she was still gorgeous, and after another few seconds he scolded himself fiercely and tore his gaze away from her.
Just as he was about to make his presence known, she said his name, and he realized she was on the phone.
“I’m not kidding Rasha! I’m in Houssam’s house! I can’t even believe it, it’s gorgeous!” she gave a deep sigh. “He’s gorgeous!”
Houssam’s mouth quirked up in amusement and he knew he couldn’t let her know he was there without embarrassing her.
“So far I haven’t seen him, we are sitting separately, but maybe we will bump into each other in the hallway or something. How can I convince him I am the woman of his dreams if we only spoke once!”
This time his smile became full blown.
She liked him too!
Wow this was just…
Wow.
He listened intently as she continued to talk to her friend, his heart hammering uncontrollably in his chest, and a huge smile gracing his face. He stood tensed, willing her to speak of him again, but soon she had hung up and gone back inside, leaving him almost breathless with joy.
He waited for a few minutes, wanting to make sure that she would be in the living room, he was determined she didn’t know that he had been there, and as he was climbing up the steps to reach the sliding glass door, it opened and Hana stepped out at first not seeing him, but coming up short as she realized he was there.
“Oh.” She said in surprise. “Hello.”
“Hey.” He replied, and she tilted her head to the side.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, and he shook his head, feeling a bit silly to realize that he was still smiling largely.
“No, no nothing is funny, I just found out something amazing.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Did you? Care to share.”
His smile wavered slightly. She had been ignoring him and he was still hurt about it. He didn’t feel like sharing his happiness with her yet. He had to mend his feelings first.
“Nah it’s nothing of importance. What are you doing out here?” he asked, and she stepped around him, sitting down on the top step before tilting her head back to look at him.
“Don’t tell Ilham or Yusra, but I’m hiding.”
He chuckled before leaning against the stair railing and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Wanna know a secret?”
“Sure.”
“I’m hiding too.”
Her laugh pierced the quiet of the night, and he smiled to hear it. It was so genuine and carefree.
“What are you hiding from?” she asked.
“Boring conversations. You?”
“Ditto.”
“I’ve been gone like fifteen minutes though, so they will probably be looking for me soon.”
“Lucky for me I just escaped.” She said with a grin, and he laughed again.
“Don’t rub it in. I would stay out here with you if I could but you know being the guest of honor and all I have to go back inside.”
“It won’t be too bad! I hear there is a delicious devil’s food cake to look forward to!”
“A cake that I made.” He exclaimed, and her eyes widened in delight.
“Did you really!? Well I can’t wait to try it!”
“I hope you like it. I also made baklawa.”
“My favorite dessert!” she exclaimed.
“Is it?! I didn’t know that! Good to know.” He flashed another grin at her, and she smiled back, before turning her face back down to the ground. He stood still, watching her. He knew there was something wrong, he could feel it deep inside. But if there was one thing he had learned about her over the past weeks was that she didn’t open up easily and only clammed up if you pushed her.
He hoped that one day she would be able to trust him the way he trusted her.
***
Hana glanced out over the large backyard, trying to calm her beating heart. Having him this close to her was not easy, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t give way to her true feelings. She had had a long hard talk with herself after leaving Hisham’s office, and had decided that the best way to get over him, was to pretend that she didn’t like him. Maybe if she pretended hard enough, she would be able to convince herself of it.
“Alright. I should go in.” he said, and she smiled to hear the reluctance in his tone.
“Okay.”
“I should go now.”
“Okay.”
“Really Hana, stop stalling me!”
“I’m not doing anything!” she exclaimed with a laugh and he smiled.
“I know. I just really don’t want to go in there.”
“Go inside Houssam.” She said, trying to sound stern, and he sighed before raking a hand through his hair.
“Okay I’m going. Sheesh stop nagging!”
She gave a laugh, and shook her head as he stepped around her towards the doorway, and she turned away from him, tightening her arms around herself and shivering slightly. It was so cold outside but she had to get away. If she had to listen to another moment of Kalthoum fawning over Houssam she was going to scream. Luckily for her, her friend had gone to take a phone call before going into the bathroom, and she had taken the opportunity to slip away. She hadn’t intended on running into Houssam, but maybe it was good. They had had a civil conversation, and she hadn’t felt sick to her stomach or felt the pain rip across her heart.
Maybe she could get over him.
Suddenly a large black jacket was dropped over her shoulders.
“I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He said softly before stepping inside and pulling the door shut behind him.
Maybe she couldn’t.