Kim war ripped out from her memory. "Does Adam come tonight too? Please he has to come, he's promised that we'll repeat our bet." Makayla smiled questioningly at Kim. "Hmmm, so..."
Kim tried to find the right words. How could she tell Makayla that she hasn't really spoken to Adam for weeks? That she herself wanted to go out to dinner with him. That she didn't know how to act around him. That she didn't know what was going on with them. That she didn't know what to do to make him forgive her.
She didn't know anything. But she couldn't bring it to her heart to tell Makayla that she probably wouldn't see Adam so often or even not at all anymore.
"Makayla, honey, I don't know I'll ask him." That was the only thing she could say. She couldn't tell Makayla that she herself didn't know if Adam would or would ever want to spend time with Makayla again.
"He has to come, it's always funnier when he's there." Makayla said as they rolled into the parking lot in front of the preschool. Kim got out and helped Makayla out of the car. "I'll see what I can do. I always like it more when he's there too." The second part of the answer she only muttered. "Thank you, see you later!" Makayla smiled, hugged Kim briefly and ran towards to other children who were already playing on the playground in front of the building. Kim watched her as she greeted the teacher and then climbed with three other girls on the scaffold.
Another look at her phone let her storm back into the car. She would be late today, really late. It was already 8.25 am and she had to drive to the district during the worst morning traffic. She would be really late, dammit!
The eyes on the street and trying to meander through the traffic, her thoughts drifted back to Adam, as they had done all the time during the last weeks. Makayla missed Adam, which Kim had already noticed a week ago, when Makayla asked her why she hardly spoke of Adam anymore. Kim had tried to tell her that she had hurt his feelings and that he was now pushing her away. But she couldn't tell Makayla. The poor girl had experienced too much drama in a short time, that she now also had to witness the drama round Adam and Kim. Kim really didn't want to do this to her, especially if Adam would never forgive Kim. If Adam had decided that he and Kim should go separate ways from now on. That they would be over now. And as it looked at the moment, that's exactly what he had done.
Kim really hoped she was wrong with that assumption. She had believed for long enough that Adam wasn't serious about her. But when he was still there for her after the miscarriage and the two started to build a friendship again, she had to admit that he meant it.
But she didn't know for a long time what she wanted. She still blamed herself for the miscarriage and knew that in some way Adam did so, although he would never admit it. She didn't know If she'd ever forgive herself, she thought about it over and over again, and still suffered from the loss. How much this baby meant to her, she didn't really realize until it was gone. A week before the miscarriage, she had really begun to imagine how she and Adam were raising their daughter or their son together.
But the situation now was completely different, and until recently she didn't know what she wanted. But the much time she had spent with Adam during the quarantine time, the many movie nights, the many dart games she had always won because Adam was really not a gifted thrower, the many dinners, the many drinks at O'Malley's, everything, it made her realize a lot.
The whole unit was sitting at their desks, immersed in doing paperwork. For a few weeks now they have been sitting on this case. It was about a prostitutions ring that traded girls form Eastern Europe. The girls were mostly smuggled into the country and then forced into prostitution, so much had at least one of Jay's CI's said.
Such cases always meant long working days and, above all, may hours of observation. And that's what they've been doing for several days. Voight stepped out of his office. "Where's Burgess, we said 8.30 am." He looked around and then to Adam. He was the one who spent the most time with her and should know where she was. Adam looked over to her desk and only now realized that she wasn't here. She's never been late. Rather she was the one who was always first in the bullpen.
"I haven't seen her since yesterday, but I guess she took Makayla to preschool and that's why she's late." Adam answered, and shrugged his shoulders. Kim was still struggling with the situation. Or rather, with her time management. Adam had tried to support her at first, but she probably didn't want to accept his help. And after that thing with Barela, Adam also stepped back. As much as it hurt him, he couldn't always see past her mistakes. It just wasn't good for him. And he also had to show her how he felt, which he had done far too seldom in the past few months. Maybe he overreacted after the Barela situation but fuck she could've said so many things. So many fucking things, but she really had to say: "What did you do?"
Kim drove to the parking lot behind the district, slashed the door of her SUV and ran into the back entrance. It was already almost 9 am, the traffic today was of course worse than ever, and she had to wait an eternity at a construction site, until a digger had finally crossed the street. She was about to turn on the blue lights, but unfortunately that would've been illegal. She stormed up the stairs to the entrance area. "Morning sarge", she said to Platt and was about to climb the stairs to intelligence when she stopped her. "You're late Burgess, that0s the third time in two weeks. You're never late." Kim tried to open the gate, but Trudy held her arm back. "I know it's a lot with Makayla, I just wanted to tell you that I'm here for you when you need some support."
"Thanks' Trudy, I really appreciate that."
She smiled at Trudy briefly and then took two steps at one to the bullpen. Everyone was sitting at their desks, obviously waiting for her. "I'm so sorry, I know I'm was too late." She said, out of breath. Kevin came to her. "It's okay Kim, we know it's a little stressful with Makayla." He squeezed her shoulder briefly. "Thanks' Kev." Kim said and walked over to her desk. As she passed by, she looked over to Adam for a moment. His reaction was the same as always. He looked at her, his eyes filled with pain and then lowered his head.
"Burgess, finally." Voight stepped out of his office again. "Sarge, I know and I'm sorry, I won't be late anymore, I...."
"It's okay Kim, can we stat now?" He interrupted her before she could finish her sentence. "Yes, of course", Kim said quietly and sat down on her desk.
"Well, today is exactly the same as yesterday. Upton and Halstead, you're watching the supposed main quartier. Burgess, Ruzek, back down at the harbor. Atwater you come with me today, we have to visit one of my CI's." Voight took his jacket form his chair and so did everyone else. Kim had already been uncomfortable the last few days, sitting in a car with Adam for hours and saying nothing. She knew that they were partners and that their personal struggles could not influence the work.
But it wasn't very easy for her to always be in his presence and not know what to do. Sometimes she had thought about trying to talk to him, but she had never dared because she didn't know exactly what all they needed to talk about.
"My or your car?", asked Adam as they stepped into the parking lot. "I don't care, we can take mine today sow we don't stand out with the same car all the time, right?" Kim responded. Actually, she really didn't care which car they took, but today she wanted to drive with her, she didn't even know why. Adam just nodded and they got into Kim's car. Only when Adam stared at Makayla's stuffed animals on the back seat, Kim noticed how messy her car was. Definitely not ideal as a work car. "I have to clean up again", she said, stuffing the stuffed animals into the bag behind the driver's seat.
"It's alright, Makayla should clean up", Adam said and fastened his seatbelt. Kim wanted to answer him, but she couldn't think of the right words, so she just nodded and started the engine.
The drive to the harbor was surrounded by a very unpleasant silence and Kim would've liked to open the window and just throw her insecurity and her feeling out of the window. She hated that she felt uncomfortable in Adam's presence. Adam and uncomfortable in his presence actually didn't fit at all. Actually, it was almost impossible for her to use those two things in the same sentence, but today it described the situation very well. The tension between the two was so big that Kim could sometimes feel the thick air. That had to change really, so it couldn't go on they were two adults.
Arrived at their usual observation spot, she switched of the engine and rested her elbows at the steering wheel and her head in her palms. Adam took out the field digger and the camera and looked over at the ships.
After an hour in which nothing had happened, Kim decided to finally open her mouth and talk to Adam. The situation couldn't stay like this forever. "Adam, the thickness of the air inside this car kills me, it can't go on like this. I..." Adam interrupted her as he raised his hand. "Kim..."
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*authors note*
yeah already the second chapter. I decided to not plan this story or write a red line or something like that. I just look in what direction it will go.
So do you like it when I also switch to Adam's POV. Because i can't decide if I should like it or not.
I hopefully will upload soon..
Thanks for reading :)