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Maria's POV
I wasn't feeling very well. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me this morning, I woke up in the middle of the night again because I was feeling nauseous. The weirdest part was that I didn't even threw up, it was just a weird feeling that didn't want to leave me alone. Instead, I needed to cough and when I did, I noticed that I was coughing blood p, fucking blood. Well, that's was I thought...it's color was really dark. It was like a black substance and it didn't taste metallic like blood does. It tasted more like acid and really disgusting. Felt really dizzy so I quickly went back to bed and fell asleep as soon as my body collapsed with my bed.
A couple hours later, I felt someone shaking me awake. I didn't even need to open my eyes to know that it was Pansy. When I opened my eyes, I felt the sun blinding me. I thought I was in heaven for a second. I put my hand in front of my face to cover the light from my eyes. I really thought I was going to be blind. My head was killing me. I think I got a migraine because my arms felt weird, the light was hurting my eyes and my head felt like it was gonna explode.
« You okay girly? » I heard Pansy's soft voice speak as she put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
« Yeah yeah, I think I have a migraine, can you passe me those meds? » I said as I point on the small table where my meds were.
She quickly took them and put them on my hand. As soon as I felt them in my hand, I immediately put two in my mouth and swallowed them. Pansy looked at me with worried in her eyes. All I wanted to do was sleeping all day. I wasn't feeling like getting up and walk. It was Saturday after all. Fuck Hogsmeade, I want my bed.
« Uh, you can go to breakfast without me, I don't feel well enough to go. »I said as I looked at her.
« Okay, get well. I love you » before she left, she hugged me and kissed my forehead.
« I love you too mama » I responded to her as she was leaving the dorm.
After she left, I just lay back down and rested. My plan for today was basically just sleeping. That maybe sound boring but believe me, sleeping was the only moment I wasn't in pain. The only moment I didn't feel my body dying each second that passed.
As I was trying to fall back asleep, I kept thinking about the kiss that Mattheo and me shared. It was like the bast day of my life. I felt like I had a million of fireworks exploding I side of me. I wish the time had stop and I could stay there forever. I only hope he felt the same way...
Then I fell asleep.
About 20 minutes later, I heard a knock on the door. I hope it's not Pansy that locked herself tout the dorm cause I swear to Merlin, I will murder her myself. Why can't I just sleep already.
With an annoyed grunt, I stood up from my comfortable bed and made my way towards the door. My head wasn't hurting me like it used to. Yes it was still hurting but not as much. I could handle it. I opened the door, I was about to yell at Pansy for waking me up.
« Pansy, I swear to Merlin if you d- oh, hi. » I looked up and saw Mattheo looking at me with loving eyes. My heart immediately melted and butterflies filled my stomach as I was thinking about what happened yesterday.
« hi. » he simply said with rosy cheek and stood there awkwardly. Was he nervous to see me?
« Um, come in » I invited him inside. Without thinking twice he entered my dorm and sat on the chair next to my messy bed. What a great timing, I'm sure I look like shit right now. Half of my hair that was now shorter than before was in a disgusting messy bun, the rest of my hair was pointing in every way. I tried to place them a little so I didn't look like a complete idiot in front of the boy that was making my heart beat at a fast pace.
After a moment of silence that was kinda awkward, he finally decided to speak.
« So, Pansy told me that you weren't feeling well so I decided to come check on you. » how can someone be so kind to me.
« I'm fine don't worry, I just had a bad migraine that's all » I reassured him. He nodded his head in resounded.
After another awkward silence, he started moving closer to me. He sat next to me on my bed and I immediately felt my heart beating faster, what the hell is he doing to me.?
« Do you regret it? » he asked out of nowhere.
« about what? »
« Us, yesterday, the kiss. » oh gosh I knew this question would come. It was about time.
« No, I don't. At all. » I said honestly. I looked at him and I saw this beautiful smile placed on his face.
« You? » I asked
« Not at all. I would do it again a million time » he answered. My cheeks were burning like they were on fire.
Then, I came back to my senses and I came out of my trance. This cannot work. He cannot fall in love with me. That's just impossible. We can never be together. I have nothing to give him. Not even a futur. I'm only a sick girl that cannot be a good girlfriend and could never be. I cannot making him attached to me and then breaking his heart when I'm gonna leave. Also, when the poison is gonna get to my head, I'm gonna become crazy and unlikable. How can someone like him can like someone like me. He deserve so much more. He deserve someone that is gonna stay with him forever and grow old with him. He deserve to be loved for eternity. That's something that I could never give to him.
I started to panic and he clearly notice because he took my cold hand in his warm one and squeezed it.
« What's wrong Maria » Merlin. Just the way he's saying my name is making my heart flutter. Stop it Maria,you can't feel like this. I thought to myself.
« We can't...that cannot happen » I said while looking at the floor and taking my hand away form his hand.
« What cannot happen? » he asked. I could feel his eyes burning through my skin.
« Us, whatever this is. We cannot be together. I cannot allow you to get attached to me » I said as I stood up from my bed and stood kinda far away from him. I couldn't look at him in his eyes because I know that if I didn't, I would be selfish and walk back I to his arms.
« Why are you saying that, I like you and I'm sure you like me back too so why are you trying to distance yourself » he stood up too and started to walk towards me. As me was coming closer to me, I was walking backwards trying to stay as far as possible from him.
« Did it mean something to you that kiss from yesterday? » he asked. Of course it meant something. it meant everything to me for fuck'sake! But I couldn't say that. I needed him to hate me so he wouldn't be too sad when I'm gonna be gone.
« No » I said in a quiet voice. I lied. It wasn't really convincing I knew he didn't believe me because he took another step closer to me. He's gonna be the death of me.
« I don't believe you. » he said firmly as he stared into my soul.
« Look at me in my eyes and tell me you didn't feel anything or else I don't believe you » he spoke again taking another step towards me. He's really not making it easier for me.
« I didn't feel anything. » I responded in a whisper. Even me, I didn't believe my lie. I was now looking at him in his eyes and I didn't even realize he was that close to me. It made me walk backwards till my back hit the wall of my dorm.
« i think you and me know that it's a lie. » he took another step. One more step and our chest would touch. I'm sure my face was as red as a tomato.
He finally took one last step and now our face was an inch apart. I could feel his hot breath hitting my face. Why is my life like this? His knees were blocking my legs from moving, I was completely stuck between the wall and Mattheo fucking Riddle.
« I know you want me as much as I want you. » he whispered in my ear. I felt a shiver down my spine.
« We just can't » I finally spoke back. His face didn't even change it's expression.
« And tell me, what can't we? » he whispered again.
« Well, first of all, I have nothing to give you, not even a futur. » I said with a shaky voice trying to keep my cool. His body was so close to mine I'm sure he could hear my heart beating really fast. Then he kissed my neck. It made me jump a little at the sudden move.
« Mhm, continue » he said in my ear.
« Okay um, second of all, I've never really been in a relationship before so I would be a terrible girlfriend. » he then kissed the other side of my neck.
« After? »
« Third of all, I have quite a bitchy attitude so we would always argue » he kissed just bellow my left ear.
« And? »
« And, I don't have a lot of time left so it would hurt you too much to see me leave you » I nervously said. At this point my excuses sounded pathetic. He went back to my face and kissed my burning cheek. I don't think he listened to anything I said.
« Kiss me » he said, it wasn't an order it was more like an invitation.
« I can't because if I do, I won't be able to stop. » I said while looking at his eyes that were looking back at me with a loving look. I need to resist but don't know how long I can do this.
« You have too many problems love, I don't care about all you excuses. I don't care about how many times you have left. I don't care how much it will hurt me to see you leave. I just want you. All of you. » that kinda shocked me. I thought he would leave and never speak to me like this but I guess I was wrong...
« that's just impossible. » I breathed.
« It is, if we make it possible and we will. » he moved his hand that was placed on my arm to the side of my neck. As much as I wanted to resist I couldn't anymore. He won...
« okay » i finally gave in.
« Okay » he smiled proudly
Without anymore time waisted he smacked his lips into mine. I immediately kissed him back. This kiss was different from the one from yesterday. It was a mix from passion, hunger and desire. We both needed it. Even tho I told him that being with me could ruin his life, he didn't leave or even consider to stay away from me. He stayed and make sure to stay by my side till the end.
In my head, this relationship was impossible but in his, we could make it possible and that's what brought us even closer...
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Hellooo i don't know what is this chapter I'm sorry. What are you thought about it? Do you have any requests? How should I continue this book? Is it sad enough? Give me your opinion to make this story better. Anyways love y'all! I hope you enjoyed hihi😘❤️💃🏼