Zuko took a deep breath before sliding open the door to his cabin. Katara would be there waiting for him. He had walked into his chambers countless times, knowing she would be there, and it never made him nervous before. What was different this time?
That questioned gnawed at him like a polar bear-dog on a bone. Was anything different this time? Would Katara receive him as her loving Lord or as her captor? Her words when he proposed that they have tea together tonight, "If you wish," implied a resigned indifference to her fate.
Katara accepted all this without much complaint. Her stated reason was that honor and duty obligated her to do so, but Zuko suspected other motives as well. She had not a desire for power, exactly, but rather a longing to leave a positive impact on the world, to leave it a better place than she found it. According to Azula, Katara had also developed a taste for the types of luxuries available to a royal consort, though the little savage would never admit it. Zuko also flattered himself that the attraction he felt towards Katara was reciprocated. Whenever he touched her during their sparing sessions, Katara blushed and lowered her eyes, but she no longer pulled away, even when his hand brushed against her breast by accident. This was why he came to her tonight to see if his suspicions were correct.
The women, aside from Azula and Lady Kanna, had left the summit early. They were lucky. All the men had to talk about were trade deals and military alliances that nearly put Zuko to sleep. He made his excuses and bid goodnight to his men and to the Water Tribe delegates as soon as he could, making sure to add, "My Lady is expecting me in our chambers," as a dig at Chief Sokka. Chief Sokka caught onto Zuko's implication and looked like he wanted to snap Zuko's neck.
The Water Tribesman did plenty to provoke Zuko, so Zuko had earned the right to return the favor.
Smirks and knowing smiles followed Zuko as he left the Great Hall. Zuko knew what they were all thinking. Rumors surrounded him and Katara since she had arrived onboard the ship. The Prince has repeatedly dishonored her. I don't blame him; it would be a shame if he hadn't. At least he did the honorable thing and claimed her as a royal consort.
Though this whispering embarrassed Zuko, he longed for it all to be true.
A few smoldering embers were all that remained of the fire in the center of Zuko's quarters. With one of his own flames, Zuko stoked the fire back into a roaring flame.
Jasmine incense wafted throughout the chamber, along with lively music played on a gottan. It was hard for Zuko to believe that Mai's slender, knife-wielding fingers plucked out such delicate, cheerful sounds.
Through the gauzy curtains that enclosed the futon bed, Zuko could see the three girls, Mai, Ty Lee, and Katara, on the other side of the room.
Ty Lee did handstands and backflips across the bamboo mats that covered the floor. Katara sat, crossed-legged, on a zabuton cushion with an open scroll across her lap.
A pretty, coppery pink blush colored her cheeks. As she played the gottan, Mai's face wore a cold, unreadable expression. An upward flick of her eyes was the only sign that she'd noticed Zuko walk in.
Mai was so skilled at hiding her thoughts and feelings that most people assumed she had none. But Zuko knew her too well to think she thought and felt nothing now. That should be me in that Water Tribe Savage's place.
"Ty Lee," Mai said. She put down her gottan and stood up. "I think we should leave now."
Ty Lee shot up onto her feet. Her eyes darted to Katara and then to Zuko. She replied to her friend's remark by giggling.
The two girls bowed and then took their leave.
Katara greeted Zuko with an awkward smile. "I believe you said something about tea." She rose and floated over towards Zuko.
The baggy, red trousers she wore covered her feet and made it look like she was not touching the ground.
As Katara put a kettle of water on the fire and arranged the seating cushions, Zuko noticed that she had placed her scroll on a low table. He picked it up.
Katara was at the part in "Love Amongst the Dragons" where the heroine yields her virtue to the Dragon Emperor, one of the most erotic scenes in all literature; Just the sort of thing to put impure ideas into a young girl's mind:
"The Dragon lays siege,
The pink gates are barred to him,
with a thrust, it breaks.
The bright phoenix burns,
In flames, she dies a sweet death.
From ashes, new life."
If Katara died a sweet death in flames that night, Zuko suspected he would be the first dragon to lay siege to her pink gates. She was little more than a child who had scarcely ever left her small, isolated village, where the only males she interacted with were old men, little boys, and her own brother.
Being the first dragon to lay siege to Katara's pink gates terrified Zuko. The handful of women he had been with were prostitutes from dockside brothels that his crew liked to visit. Their pink gates were unbarred and sieged by many dragons. Zuko feared that he might hurt or, worse, disappoint Katara. He would do his best to be gentle with her and make tonight as blissful as it should be.
"The water is boiling," Katara said. She pointed towards a row of boxes on the table that contained different types of tea leaves.
Did she want him to bring one of them over?
"What kind do you want?" Zuko replied.
Katara took the kettle off of the fire. It made a whistling sound, kind of like Uncle's snoring, as she set it on the tea tray. "You pick," she said.
They usually had ginseng, but this time, he chose licorice. Licorice would...set the mood better.
Katara poured hot water into the teapot, then put in some licorice tea to let it steep. She had removed her heavy formal robes- they now hung on a stand near the foot of the bed like a giant, stuffed bird.
But she still wore the phoenix hairpin Zuko had sent her. Zuko imagined himself plucking the pin from her hair and letting them fall down her shoulders and back. He would run his fingers and bury his face in them while whispering in her ear.
Untouched girls, Zuko had heard, were like unbroken ostrich-horses: timid and wild and needing caresses and soothing words.
"Lady Mai is a talented musician." Katara poured tea into Zuko's cup. "I see why Princess Azula keeps her around." She fixed an intent gaze on him and waited for his reaction.
Zuko accepted the cup of tea from her but avoided her gaze. Why did she have to bring up Mai now? "She's also skilled at shurikenjitsu, which comes in handy for my sister."
"She certainly doesn't keep Mai around for her enjoyable company." Katara took a sip of tea.
It seemed like Mai was perfectly cordial to Katara, so why was Katara so catty?
"That was cruel of you to say?" Zuko furrowed his brow.
Katara shrugged. "Perhaps?" She took another sip of tea. "You have to admit she's standoffish and superior, and nothing ever interests her. Ty Lee can be a bit much sometimes but at least she's fun to be around."
This was how most people saw Mai. As a specter glowering in the corner, something dull and unpleasant to be ignored. Zuko always pitied her for that. He always got the impression that Mai was overlooked and misunderstood.
"You know nothing about her," Zuko said.
Katara raised an eyebrow. "And you don't?"
Zuko had known Mai for years. The Ukano clan were high-ranking members of the Royal Court, and Mai was school friends with Azula. But as quiet and aloof as Mai was, she didn't let people close enough to completely know her.
Katara settled herself on a cushion. She did not sit with her legs crossed but instead folded them underneath her in the same manner as the other girls. "Princess Azula summed up Mai perfectly." After taking a sip of tea, she continued. "She said that Mai thinks having an attitude is the same thing as having a personality." Katara laughed, and some of Azula's spiteful cruelty came out. "You'd think her parents could afford to give her one."
Zuko scoffed and shook his head. "Mai was an only child for fifteen years," he said. "Her parents gave her whatever she wanted, as long as she sat still, kept quiet, and stayed in the background. She had her father's career and her family's reputation to think about."
That was how most families Zuko knew were: parents crushed their children under the weight of their expectations and tried to warp them into what they wanted them to be.
"Poor little rich girl." Katara rose to her feet. When they were both standing, her head just about reached Zuko's shoulder, but now, she towered over him. "It makes me laugh that she thinks she has problems. I was five years old when I saw my mother killed in front of me and twelve years old when my father went off to war. At least Mai can complain to her parents about how awful it is here and how much she wants to go home."
When Katara had tea with Uncle, she often spoke of her dreams and ambitions: to travel, to become a master water bender, to find a way to help as many people as she could. But what she longed for most was to get back what she lost, a carefree home and a complete family. Her childhood was far from unhappy or loveless from how she described it, but a murdered mother and an absent father left two gaping holes in the group portrait. These were feelings that Zuko shared to some extent. Instead of mourning for a happy family lost, he regretted one that never existed.
Katara stared down at the dying fire below her. Zuko stoked the fire back to life. Her sleeves rustled as her arms dropped and fell to her side. "I'm sorry..." she sighed.
He stood up to meet her eye-to-eye. "You were just lashing out," he said. "But it's not Mai you're upset with."
"Then who am I upset with?" Katara folded her arms.
Maybe she was angry with him? Or with herself? Or with this whole Agni-forsaken mess they were both trapped in? But Mai played no part in it.
Katara lowered her eyes. "You're right. I was just lashing out, and I shouldn't have said all those things about Mai. She's done a lot to help me, even though she has every reason not to." She took Zuko's hand. Her fingers wove in between his. "Ty Lee told me that the two of you were once engaged."
Damn Ty Lee! With all of her suitors, didn't she have enough business of her own to mind?
Mai had the proper breeding and lineage for a Fire Lady. There had been a possibility of a betrothal between the two of them before his banishment. Zuko never minded this because Mai was familiar to him- at least he wouldn't have to marry a stranger- but, to his shame, he hadn't thought much about her in all those years.
With Katara's hand in his, Zuko almost forgot Mai existed.
Katara let go of his hand. Her cheeks were flushed-perhaps from embarrassment, perhaps from the fire's heat. She reached for a fan to cool herself off with on the table below her. The painted koi fish on the fan's silk fluttered back and forth in front of her face.
"Perhaps it would have better if..." she said.
Better if they had never met? Zuko was tired of this conversation.
"Please don't talk about Mai anymore." He cupped Katara's chin in his hand. Katara gasped as Zuko captured her lips with his own. The fan fell out of her grasp and to the ground.
Her kiss felt like cool water to someone dying of thirst. Zuko could not bring himself to feel ashamed of startling her like this.
Katara's frame went limp. The pin fell from her hair, and the tresses tumbled down her back. Zuko caught her by encircling her waist with his arm.
"Are you alright?" he said.
Her voice came out low and breathy. "It's...It's too warm in here."
Zuko must have made the fire too strong. Poor Katara did not have the same heat tolerance as him. After helping her to her feet, he lead her over to the bed. Like a falling leaf, she landed on the mattress. Her robe slid off of one shoulder.
Not sure what else to do, Zuko went to pick up the fan and the hairpin, put them on the table, then got a glass of water for Katara. He sat down on the bed next to Katara and brought the glass of water to her lips. Once she took a sip, he put the glass on the bedside table.
Katara rolled over. Her backside brushed against his nether regions as she did so. Zuko felt like he had been struck by lightning. He took a few deep breaths to try to keep himself from getting...worked up. This was unsuccessful. Her head rested against his shoulder, and her gorgeous hair enveloped him. Red sparks danced among the wavy tresses when the light hit them.
Zuko gave in to the temptation to run his fingers through it; it felt like the fur of an ermine-sable and smelt like black tea and jasmine. He let out a sigh of pleasure. Laying there with her curled up in his arms, stroking her hair, the night was finally going the way he hoped it would.
Katara opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I didn't actually faint, you know," she said.
"You didn't?" Zuko lowered his eyes. What kind of trick had she played on him?
"In all the romance scrolls I borrowed from Iroh's library, whenever a lady is kissed, she always swoons." Katara giggled. "I wanted to see how that felt."
First, she lashed out at him in frustration, then she plays coquettish games with him. Zuko would never understand this girl.
Katara reached over and stroked his scar. Somehow the little seductress got him to drop his guard because he did not pull away from her touch.
Zuko's scar had always been a badge of shame, something most people did not want to acknowledge, least of all, Zuko himself. Uncle was the only person who never saw him as monstrous and dishonorable. That should have been enough, but it was not. A girl as beautiful and pure as Katara looking at him with something like affection satisfied him more than Uncle's approval ever did.
Zuko felt a tender pressure when Katara's fingers touched his scar.
"It's smooth," she said. "I thought it would be rough."
"That's because it's pretty much healed." The physical scar, yes. The emotional ones, no.
"I heard you go it in a training accident."
Zuko tried to hold back a tsunami of painful memories. "Yes, an accident."
You need to learn respect and suffering will be your teacher.
Father...Please...Father
Zuko focused on the rise and fall of Katara's chest and the fluttering of her heart. Soft, fragrant hair enveloped him. Wild, blue eyes blinked in the firelight. Zuko closed those eyes with four kisses: two on each lid. Katara settled into his arms and laid her head on his chest. She made a sound that Zuko could not identify, either singing or sleepy moans. He slid off his shoes, put up his feet, and let Katara lull him off to dreamland with her.
In the royal palace in Caldera City, there was a gallery containing portraits of previous Fire Lords. The gallery seemed to roll on for centuries. You could walk down it all day and still not even reach Fire Lord Sozin, Zuko's great grandfather, or at least that was how Zuko remembered it.
As he strolled down the gallery, each of his forebears bowed to him. Their stern, haughty expressions changed to looks of pity. After what seemed like ten lifetimes, he finally reached the end and stood face-to-face with his father's portrait.
Fire Lord Ozai was a handsome, urbane man in the prime of life, someone who looked invincible. Zuko blinked, and his father's face became gaunt and ashen like someone dying, then it had the bloated greenness of a rotting corpse. Then it was just a skull.
Zuko turned and ran in the opposite direction, but all the other Fire Lords were also corpses and skeletons. The corridor looked more like a crypt than a portrait gallery.
Panting, he reached the end. The plaque at the entrance to the gallery, instead of singing long-winded praises to the Fire Nation and its Fire Lords, simply read: "As you are are, once were we. As we are, so shall you be."
"My Lord...My Lord..." Zuko's eyes blinked open. Lieutenant Jee's face hung over him.
Zuko grumbled. "What is it?"
The Lieutenant's eyes widened, and his face flushed. Zuko and Katara were a bundle of tangled limbs and sheets. Their clothes and hair were disheveled. They looked like a couple who were exhausted after a night of passion and pleasure.
It must be something important, or else Jee would not have dared to barge in on them like this.
"I said: what is it?" Zuko sat up, disturbing Katara, whose head had rested on his chest. She gasped when she noticed Lieutenant Jee and adjusted her robes, which had slid off her shoulders. "The ship better be sinking or someone better be dead."
Jee fell to his feet and bowed. "My Lord... I'm sorry."
"Sorry about what?" Sorry for entering his Prince's chambers without permission? For walking in on a lady in a compromising state?
"Your father... Fire Lord Ozai... is dead."
Ever since getting the news that his father was gravely ill, Zuko awaited the approach of a messenger or a letter on his desk telling him that Fire Lord Ozai had gone to join his glorious ancestors. Now it had arrived, and Zuko received it the same way he would an iceberg warning or a coal shortage: a problem to be solved, but nothing that touched him emotionally. Mostly, he was annoyed that he had this to deal with on top of the Southern Water Tribe. When it burns, it scorches.
Lieutenant Jee would expect him to give some sign of grief, but Zuko had none to give.
"I don't see why this couldn't have waited until I was out of bed," Zuko said. With a wave of his hand, he signaled for Jee to stand up.
"It's almost midday, My Lord." Jee rose to his feet. " You're usually awake by now and General Iroh was worried about you."
Agni, it was almost midday. Had he really slept in that late?
"Is my nephew finally awake?" Zuko turned his head towards the door. Uncle waddled in carrying a tray with tea and porridge on it.
Katara lowered her gaze from his twinkling eyes and knowing smile. Uncle beamed at her and placed the tray on a table. "Sleep well, Prince Zuko?" he said. "Or should I say, Fire Lord Zuko?"
Zuko wore his new title like a small boy wearing his father's robes. One day, hopefully, he will have grown into it.
"Thank you for breakfast, Uncle," Zuko replied. He and Katara rose from the bed. Once Zuko's feet were on the ground, Uncle swept him up into one of his platypus bear hugs, making Katara giggle. Uncle was lucky to be the only one Zuko would let get away with this.
"Ever since Lu Ten died, I..."
"You don't need to say anything..."
Throughout Zuko's life, Uncle had been one of the few people who were always there for him, giving him affection and guidance when he needed it and standing by him, even when he made the wrong decisions. He did not need to say anything.
Uncle crushed Zuko to his chest. "...I've thought of you as a son and I'll be here to help you in any way I can."
Of course, Uncle would be there for him when he needed him most.
"Thank you, Uncle." Zuko broke away from then bowed to the old man. "Your wisdom and experience will be indispensable to me. It would be an honor to have you as my chief advisor."
Uncle's eyes lit up. Perhaps he had not expected such a promotion?
"Uncle, Zuzu." Azula strode in as if Zuko's chambers were her own. She raised an eyebrow as if Zuko, Uncle, and Katara were the trespassers. Behind her came Commander Zhao.
Zuko grumbled. "Was there an open invitation for the whole ship to come in here?"
"We came to offer our best wishes to a new Fire Lord," said Zhao. He dipped the politest of bows to Zuko. "And to offer condolences to a grieving son."
"Thank you for both."
Not for a second did Zuko believe that these best wishes and condolences were sincere. He and Katara shared a glance. She seemed to have the same thought: we need to get rid of them.
Katara bowed to their guests. "Princess Azula, Commander Zhao," she said. "Fire Lord Zuko would be happy to speak with you but please give him a chance to have something to eat and make himself presentatable first."
"Very well," Azula replied. She tossed her head and turned to leave. "Perhaps we should have waited. No one wants to be around Zuzu when he's just rolled out of bed. Not even his...consort... can put him in a good mood."
Zhao hovered in the doorway. He snatched Zuko's hand and shook it. "It's an honor to serve such a promising young Fire Lord. If you ever need any fatherly advice, I'd be happy to oblige."
How dare he? Zhao had done nothing but treat Zuko with insubordination, and now he was trying to lick Zuko's boots to curry favor. The man had no honor or integrity.
Zuko withdrew his hand from the Commander. "Zhao..."
"Yes, My Lord?"
"Close the door on your way out."
Now that they were finally alone, Zuko and Katara sat down to have their breakfast.
"I'm sorry about your father," Katara said. She took a sip of her tea.
Zuko rolled his eyes. "That's because you never had to meet him." Katara blinked at Zuko. "From what I've heard, your father is a good man. He treats you well?"
"Yes."
Chief Hakoda probably saw his daughter as his greatest treasure as every good father should. Ozai, on the other hand, saw Azula as his deadliest weapon. Zuko was nothing to him at all.
Taking a sip of his tea, Zuko gazed out of a porthole. "Don't assume everyone is so lucky."