episode 21: crushing blow; the 57th exterior scouting mission, part 5
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BLOOD, SWEAT, & TEARS
•••
"Get up."
Heart placid and chest unmoving, she was a serene sight to witness. Calm, face at ease, knowing the untold damages surrounding her, entangling him as a heavy vine in his heart hauled him forward. Forward towards her. A step closer. Heavy boots landed on the ground, tips of his shoes meeting her body. A tilt of his head, grey eyes roamed her limp figure, running to every curve, cut that sliced through exposed skin, her arm resting on her stomach, with the other laying beside her head, he could almost feel the chilled sting of her cuts mirroring on his unscathed body. He waited, shadow looming over for her to move. Speak. Something.
An absence of red. She lacked of it. Clean despite the few smudges of grime and dirt spotting across her features. He resisted the urge to wipe them all away pristine. Eyelids closed that he silently urged her to open them, to put the sky above him to shame with those blue irises. One that entranced people, that often bounded him towards her, eluded him to think they were guiltless. To maybe even glare at him, at the very least. She looked at heartsease. Not a single worried line etched her face. Even unwitting, she was too innocent to look at, yet a disarrayed mess all at the same time.
"I said, get up." Voice thick, laced with edge and contemplation, his jaw clenched, tense.
Nothing.
Sheathing his blades back to his sides, he kneeled down beside her body. Strands of dirty blonde hair covered her face, shining like satin pulled under the light, reflecting a shade of flaring gold. He was tempted to tug the end of her ribbon peaking underneath her head to waver and see lengths of her hair billow in the breeze. However, he didn't. Rather, for a second, his cold fingers hovered at the side of her face, tingling between the distance of touching her flesh. Hesitant to even move an inch. It was an internal travail in his mind, chest straining that his breathing faltered, tender to breathe and losing air.
Slowly, her warm skin was everything he could think of a the moment. His calloused fingertips was rough against the softness of it. So much so that he was gentle. Touch feathering on the surface, uneasy that glass would break. His right hand snaked to cup the side of her jaw, slender fingers tangling in her hair. A beatific repose as long lashes kissed her cheeks, thin lines looming. A crease formed between his eyebrows, falling back in deep in the depths of his thoughts the longer he stared. Though, it wasn't long before something hot hit the palm of his hand. A faint breathy exhale through her parted lips.
Levi froze.
Voices bouncing in her skull, drumming in her ear until it was all she could think of. Those two words. It yelled again and again. No longer desperate but a command. An order that told she had no choice but to pull herself out of the darkness. She could no longer feel a thing. Couldn't see. Couldn't think. The despondency she had heard in its voice was vigorous, wailing. Helpless and alone. Gone in the shadows. She was pitched in agony, demented that all was left for her to endure it. Counting the seconds that had ceded, she forgot, mislaying all thoughts until it was left empty. Slowly but surely, she was losing herself.
Wake up.
Freya woke up with a gasp.
Silver rings burned Levi's wrist, stopping him from retreating his hand from her face. Her other hand gripped the collar of his shirt, surprising him as she tugged him closer. It was sudden, something he didn't anticipate happening for him to pull back in time. He could hear her frantic breathing as she hastily sat up, ignoring the painful ache shooting down her spine. Her cheek rested on his rigid shoulder, body shaking and chest puffing up and down. She pulled him closer and closer, eyes wide snapped open that her blue irises were nothing but distant and gone, searching. Incoherent mumbling teetered past her teeth. Her once silent heart was now thrumming like a hummingbird zooming in the wind, racing in her ears.
He was stiff as a statue, nose digging in the back of her head as she seemed to hide herself away in the crook of his neck. His skin tickled. Her sweet scent mixed with the woods. Intoxicating but all so familiar. Nothing but blank pages, any logical thought went out his mind. He could feel the warmth sensation radiating from her body to his, emanating heat that he couldn't ignore. The grip she had on his collar was tight. However, her hold on his right hand loosened, falling on her lap while his hand fell to her waist. He couldn't decipher how long the two of them stayed so close. In complete silence with the exception of her painful heaving slowly dying down. Time was of the essence, but he couldn't find it in himself to move. Levi licked his lips, voice low. "What happened?"
"I..." She stiffened. Freya hated it. Hated the solace she found in his tranquil scent. The ripped pages of books soothed her racing mind. Hated the thought of the man finding her half dead on the floor of the forests. It wasn't enough. Her mind was plagued with weighing sorrow, heart heavy that she didn't know if she could stand and bare the mass of it all. Electricity dotted her skin. She shivered, rasping. "I don't know."
Moving his head back to stare at her, her blue eyes wouldn't meet his. She heard him sigh. "I need you to calm down."
"I... I can't–"
"Tell me. How did–"
Rapidly shaking her head, she attempted to fore out the sound of bones crushing and blood spurting out from gaping wounds. "It happened too fast."
"What happened exact–"
"I don't know!" Her head throbbed that she had suppressed a groan, biting down hard on her tongue. She turned her head away. Her eyebrow twitched. Almost immediately, Freya asked, eyes glancing left and right. "Where... Where is he?"
"I was hoping for you to tell me that."
"It just--" Her mouth went dry, welling up tight. There was no shine or gloss coating her eyes that pricked with tears. However, slated empty and hollow. Lost and perplexed for something. "He– I can't–" Gritting her teeth together, her fists balled tightly together at a lost for words.
"Calm down." His smooth voice murmured in her ear, surprising the two of them at how placid it came out.
"I am calm." She snapped. Frustration bubbled on the pits of her stomach as she placed both her hands on his shoulder before shoving him away. The surprise on his face subsided into the usual nonchalant and brooding manner. Oddly enough, it relieved her. She looked away from him with a glare before face drained into a pale look. She blinked, hands beginning to tremble once again. A crease formed between his eyebrows as Levi picked notice of the way she had dug her nails deeply into the flesh of her palms, teeth gnawing the inside of her cheek, and blue eyes snapping left and right, truly disturbed by whatever was behind his shoulder.
Levi's face fell in harsh realization. Lips pursed in a straight line.
An arctic shiver ambled towards Freya's spine, crawling on her skin that she had repressed the shudder going through her. Her mouth moved, though no words had came out, lodged in the back of her throat. She swallowed, tongue running on the insides of her cheek. Bodies torn in half, neck cracked sideways, bones hectored into pieces, she couldn't find it in herself to look away, bound to ever submerging contriteness of fallen comrades. It weighed her down, shoulders sagging, eyes dying down. To be left alone standing, persisting. This was what she did. Survive. Cynical and acrid, she could feel a bitter tang running on her mouth. Guilt.
A pair of grey eyes blocked her vision, piercing her blues in a dark and demeaning stare. No longer soft and dull but sharp and cold. She held his gaze, locked tight in unstrung silence that her breathing faltered for a second. She saw the unnerving determination he had, collected to be so nonchalant and stoic. For a moment, Freya had almost convinced herself that she was in a world of green. Nothing but trees and leaves surrounded her. All but grey penetrating through her idle world. It shattered as a faint rumble shook the earth beneath her. She watched as Levi stood up, shadow looming over her figure that she had to look away, averting her eyes to the forest twigs scattered near her. His usual firm and demanding voice returned in her ears. "Come on, we need to get him back."
It was the rising trail of smoke evaporating in the air that had caught the attention of the two, giving them a lead to start off from and move from there. Unfortunately for her, Freya's gear had been saved from the thunderous impact that it was still operable. She was far, struggling to maintain the speeding pace of Levi's hurried movements, yet keeping distance from behind. It wasn't hard to miss the look of disapproval resting on her face. The slight down turn of her lips was evident. Particularly when they came across a headless 14-meter Titan laying flat on the ground in defeat, neck grazed in an open wound and sharp bite marks engraved around its bitten nape, smoke lingering in the air. Minutes, hours, she didn't know, but just before, her main objective had been to run away from the Female Titan. Not towards it.
She knew they were close. Either the gut wrenching feeling that bubbled in her stomach or the loud stomps echoing within the trees was what gave it away, Freya just knew that she was close to their destination. She hadn't anticipated to be quick with the search, silently hoping to stall time and wait. However, she was aware that she couldn't ignore the inevitable and the bothersome responsibility resting on her shoulders. She licked her lips, noticing how chapped they had become, visibly tensing at the burry figure of peach and skin running a few distances in front of her, long branches of trees swaying in her view. Though, she held her breath as it stopped. Raven hair caught her vision, another tiny figure leaning on a tree near the Titan, silver blades glinting.
A cold breeze brushed past Freya as she witnessed Levi swiftly accelerate forward, arm swooping down and grabbing the squirming cadet, holding them put under his arm. She squinted, coming to realization that it had been Mikasa. Wide and seething with rage, glaring at the running Titan. "Wait! Wh-What are you..." She looked up at the person who disrupted her motives.
"Fall back for now." Levi ordered, attention solely on the Titan. Mikasa's dark gaze penetrated deeply on the side of his unfazed face as he released her, the girl falling back in line with Freya as the three maneuvered on their gear. "Maintain this distance. She's probably tired. The pace she's keeping isn't particularly fast."
"She's been after us for awhile." Freya muttered in disdain.
Levi gave a faint nod of his head, silent for a second with a blank face. "It seems like he was bitten right out along with the neck. Is Eren dead?"
"He's alive." Mikasa said definitely. "Our target seems highly intelligent, and capturing Eren is apparently her primary goal. If she wanted him dead, she could've crushed him in her jaws. Instead, she's carefully holding Eren inside her mouth while fighting to escape."
"Eating Eren may also have been her goal. If so, he would've ended up in her stomach. It makes more sense to assume he's dead." Levi stated boldly.
"He's alive." Mikasa strongly insisted through gritted teeth.
He blinked down at her before returning his attention back to the front. "I hope you're right."
"If only you protected Eren, this never would've happened." Mikasa stated harshly to Freya, eyes narrowed at the woman who was taken aback.
Freya shook her head in disbelief, "The whole squad was wiped out, what would've you wanted me to do?" Saying it out loud had copper settling on her tongue. She swallowed. "Transforming was his choice." She understood that disposing the blame to a boy who felt confused, angry, and conflicted as her was too affront for her to do. However, she couldn't help it. Though Freya did try everything she could at the moment to prevent such things leading towards this moment.
"It was you back then." She heard Levi state in realization, staring at the girl with attainment in his dull eyes. "You're Eren's close friend." Freya couldn't decipher what he meant with those words, but the man seemed to have a full understanding. She didn't bother to ask as he continued. "We'll focus all our manpower on one goal. First of all, forget about killing the female-form Titan."
"But she killed so many of our comrades!" Mikasa protested with wide eyes.
"So long as she can crystallize her skin, there's no way we can kill her." Levi explained.
"She might as well kill you." Freya pointed out.
"Trust my judgement. We'll keep hoping that Eren is still alive, and attempt to rescue him before she leaves the forest. I'll hack her up." Voice filled with resolution and firm finality, a dark look overcame Levi's face as he leered his attention to the Titan, hands unsheathing his blades with a sharp shrill of silver grinding against metal, flipping his right blade in his hand until the blade had been facing outwards in a backhanded manner. "You two draw her attention."
Pursing her lips tight, Freya lightly squinted at the man in question, wondering where such confidence came from, how sure he was to defeat at the Female Titan on his own pursuit while they were nothing but a decoy to act. It hadn't came out as self-conceited or smug as she thought it to be, more of it sounding assured and capable knowing his own strengths. Neither her or being in an elite squad could take a shifting Titan down, being the only survivor left from her eradicated squad was proof of that, she pondered how a single man alone could even do so at this point. Then again, she remembered, being Humanity's Strongest Soldier wasn't a title given so ably.
She made no arguments as her and Mikasa propelled themselves forward, grabbing the handle of her blades in the process. Her hands were clammy, forcing herself to have a tight grip as she swooped down below close the ground and moving past the Titan's feet. She froze for a second, pausing at the thought of the possible numbers where her death would fall at. She shook her head. Not now. Once again, her racing heart was now in sync with the thunderous stomps of the Titan, pumping like bass in her ears. Blue eyes steered themselves behind, neck craned to watch, and fingers busily clicking on her controller grips to keep herself upright but still on the move, watching. For a distraction, Freya was sure she wasn't doing so good seeing as the Titan's gaze was set to the side, keeping notice of Levi hovering from behind.
There was a moment of still silence laying on the thick air, anticipation riding on her nerves as it all became silent despite the rustle of leaves, howl of winds, and stomps of movements. Then, in a swift blur of color, the Titan halted in its footsteps, quickly turning around with its right fist aimed for Levi. Freya was a second away from closing her eyes when a grunt escaped from Levi, brows furrowing as his figure turned into a blur of white and circles in motion, blood spattering as he moved from the Titan's fists to its arms, slicing up to its shoulders, the next, both his blades have been embedded painfully right into the Titan's eyes. Freya released a sharp breath, gaze wide with shock, stare locked on the man who had his dark hair covering his eyes, a shadow looming over his face as a trail of steaming blood poured down the side of his face, jaw clenching.
A blur of spinning circles, fast and skillful, her mind couldn't comprehend the immense speed of Levi's movements as he replaced his controller grips with a fresh pair of blades before aiming towards the Titan's ankles. It staggered back towards a tree, leaning against the rough bark as it fell stumped on it. Elbows, shoulders, body, wherever he went, a deep and long cut would trail and mark on the Titan, blood spurting out that there wouldn't be enough time for the Titan to heal and retaliate, only have its hand covering the back of its neck. Another attack from Levi, and eventually the Titan's hand fell. Mouth slightly agape, Freya was stunned.
She glanced to her right where Mikasa was positioned not too far, a glare adorning the girl's features fixated on the Titan's exposed nape. There was no blue crystal forming on its body just like she's seen before, but Freya was still wary, not even wanting to get so close to it despite it being worn down. Freya knew that look. A look of pure determination and itching revenge. Mikasa's red scarf was distinct underneath her green cape, the ends of it blowing in the air much like Freya's blonde strands that whipped wildly around her face. She clicked her tongue. "I don't think–"
However, Mikasa was already on the move, yelling to the woman. "When I say go, we aim for its neck."
It was all happening too fast that Freya couldn't keep up. "Hold on, just think–"
"It's now or never!"
"How about never?"
"Go!" A silent groan of exasperation erupted from Freya's throat as Mikasa roared a battle cry, digging her wires into the Titan's nape from behind, Freya racing to the girl in hopes of reaching her and hauling her back with gritted teeth.
"Stop!" Levi's deep voice yelled from the side.
The next thing Freya knew, Levi's calloused hands were set on her shoulders, pushing her back where her body came colliding into Mikasa's side. A yelp pushed past her lips at the abrupt action as she shot her wires out to a few trees nearby to set herself steady, lightly shaking her head, and waiting for her vision to focus. Glancing to Mikasa, she stared at the girl in question if she was alright. After a firm nod from her, the sound of bones snapping sprucely in her ears caught her attention. She whipped her head to the Titan, seeing Levi contain a pained grunt, his left leg positioned at an odd angle as he stood by on the Titan's raised hand, which seconds ago was aimed towards her.
The all familiar sound had her repress a grimace, hearing it was noxious, body moving that she didn't know she was speeding towards him. A guess. A gut churning hunch that she just had to move, tightly gripping her blades as she readied them by her sides. The harsh wind hit her face. No longer a distraction. Her heart stopped for a moment, no longer beating as she furrowed her brows.
Time seemed to have slowed down. The ends of her blades ran smoothly on the right side of the Titan's jaw, running like water in a stream as her breath hitched in her throat, eyes locking on to a pair of grey ones as Levi forced a jump on his side, his blades penetrating the left side of the Titan's jaw. Her shoulder grazed his as electricity shot down her spine. They moved past each other, Freya peering past her shoulder and gaze falling onto him as he so swiftly turned, body facing her, strands of his dark hair falling in front of his eyes. A subtle tilt of his mouth, the corner of his lips quirking up into a smirk. Her lips parted, heart running in her rib cage.
The Titan's mouth fell open. From the side, Mikasa yelled. "Eren!"
Back to her sense, Freya shook her head, skin burning as she pulled her gaze away, biting down hard on the inside of her cheek. She could see in the Titan's mouth Eren, his unconscious body sitting on its tongue, saliva covering his entire being. The sight of it was foul to look at but a breath of relief escaped Freya. She was quite hesitant to move, though she forced herself to be quick about it as she maneuvered to the Titan's face. Her arms encircled Eren's waist, heaving a breath as she carried him closely to her side before immediately launching away. For a young teenage boy, he was heavy in her arms. She was just glad her gear was able to withstand the double weight of their bodies for it to not snap.
"We need to get out of here." Levi advised as he landed on a tree branch. Freya didn't miss the strained look he attempted to conceal when his feet came in contact with the surface.
"Eren." Mikasa meekly called to the boy under Freya's arms, but she was aware that he wouldn't be waking up anytime soon in the state he was in. A worried look settled on her face, eyebrows scrunching in concern.
"He's alive." Freya assured her.
"Filthy, though." Levi added in disdain. Freya shot him a flat look as he glanced at Mikasa. "Don't worry about anything else. We're pulling back. Don't lose sight of your primary objective." He paused at the girl. "Isn't he a dear friend of yours?" The girl stayed quiet, eyes averting away as the three began to move.
"I got him." A murmur instilling from Freya, tone falling in ease, nerves going calm. The wind blowing on her face subdued the hot steam melting on her face as evaporating blood colored her jaw and neck. Her gaze met Levi's as he turned around, though his wasn't on hers. Crimson ran down underneath his eyes like tears steaming on his cheeks. A stark contrast between the tint of his eyes as his attention fell back on something past Freya's head. She dared to look back, chest tightening at the sight of crystal blue waters shed from the Female Titan's eye, a tear that fell past her chin, conflicting her mind. Crystal and blurry, an image she couldn't look at anymore. She blinked, pulling her eyes away.
•••
— AUTHOR NOTE —
he's so hot. i kinda like this chapter. i must've been on drugs while writing this