Britt was waiting for him inside the car on a sidewalk near the academy building. Sander approached it, thinking whether this was the right time and how he should best handled it. He opened the car door and got inside. He turned to Britt's annoyed face.
"What took you so long?"
And she is already in a bad mood, nice start. He opened his mouth and closed it again. Sitting now beside her, reality hit him hard. Could I afford to lose her? How about Robbe? But Robbe doesn't know, Robbe might leave. He probably will.
Britt scoffed, "Never mind." She started the car and after a while she talked about school and stuff.
Sander asked her absentmindedly, "Are you still going with your friends after dropping me off?"
"Yes, it's high time, I desperately need some new clothes. By the way do you know that—"
Sander stopped listening, his mind was going in a whirl, his fingers tapping on his knee, racing with his thoughts. When they were about a couple blocks away from home, he cut them off forcefully and said hurriedly before it could ran away again. "Britt, you can stop here."
"What? Why?" But she was still driving.
"Just stop. I need to say something."
"Can't it wait? We are almost there."
Sander said sturdily, "It can't wait. Just stop please."
Britt looked at him with an irritated frown, but the seriousness in Sander's face seemed to be enough and she slowly stirred the car to an empty side walk. She turned off the engine and turned to him.
"Okay, what is it?"
Sander took a deep breath and answered, "I am breaking up with you Britt. I am sorry."
Britt frowned in confusion. "Let's not making jokes right now. We can do that later, okay?"
She was about to start the car again. Sander touched her hand to stop her and said again firmly, "This is not a joke. I am serious. I don't want this anymore."
Britt turned to him, "I don't understand. Why are you saying this?"
"There is someone else. I am sorry Britt."
Sander turned to get out of the car but Britt grabbed his arm and said furiously, "Where are you going? Who is she? Tell me who the fuck she is."
"His name is Robbe. And I am in love with him." It was the first time Sander said it out loud, in his heart he had known it, but to voice it, struck the truth home.
Britt's anger turned to confusion. Scowling, she said, "Robbe? You mean Robbe from my school?"
"Yes." Sander was starting to get more than irritated.
"But— he is... a boy. I don't understand.. what joke is this?"
Fuming, Sander said, "I told you, this is not a joke. You get it or not get it, it's not my problem. But we are done."
Britt shook her head, "I don't believe you."
Sander tried to control his temper and said rigidly, "He is not the first boy I like you know. He's just the first one I deeply care about."
Britt snorted, "I don't believe that."
Sander was enraged now. He said with cold anger, "I really don't care. Good bye."
What she did next shouldn't surprise him. She slapped him, not so hard, more like she thought he had misbehaved and needed to be rebuked. This was not the first time she did that.
"You done? Good."
Sander opened the car door and slammed it. He started to walk away, but Britt had gotten out and chased him.
She turned him around, "Wait! You can't just go."
"Why not? I think I am clear enough. And for what it's worth I am sorry." Sander turned away again.
Britt said from behind him, "This will pass. This is just one of your obsession. You don't love him, I don't believe that."
Sander turned and said icily, "Don't, tell, me, what I feel. You don't know what I feel."
It's infuriated Sander that Britt still looked calm. She never took him seriously at all. She raised her eyebrow and said, "Does he know about your BD?"
That stopped him in his track, doubt seeped into him. But he straightened his shoulders and said, "Good bye, Britt."
Sander turned and walked away, not bothering or cared about her response. He did it. He finally did it. It felt so good, Sander laughed out loud. Even so, Sander could felt uncertainty and fear oozing into his mind, but he forced it to the back of his mind. He felt amazing and he missed Robbe already. He didn't feel like going home, so he walked into a caffe, ordered a capuccino and sat at an empty table. He took out his sketch book, and started drawing. His fingers moved rapidly across the page. Finishing the picture of him and Robbe, he sent it to him with a text: That kiss we just had, that was Chernobyl. He grinned broadly to himself and drank his coffee.