"I suppose it is true. You thought you could attone for your sins to this world by getting rid of us. By God your weak, worthless, useless, stupid child,when will you learn.
"I see you've gained strength and someone who loves you gave you that strengt, I wonder if we crush his head, would it all go away would you fall back on you knees like the worthless object you are.!" The voice of my mother whispers
"I can see his head on the wall his lifeless eyes staring at you as you say your final words." Her voice continues to surround me as she slowly walks around me stopping behind me and turning the chair covering my eyes.
"Oh goodness me. Looks like we can't crush his head or cut him up, because we already did." My mother turns my head showing my a wall from my child hood home, the wall was drooling blood and in the center of it was Chrollo's head lifeless as she had said he would look. I look away my eyes widened in our shock. They killed him all because I couldn't fight for him.
"Look what you did child. All because you couldn't save him,because your too weak to fight. All because you were to afraid, still worthless as ever even when using nen. Worthless, unless, idiotic child. Did you really think you could save him?" My mother's voice stays calm as she says these things to me before forcefully gripping my chin and making me look back at the wall at my Chrollo, who's dripping in the blood that was oozing from the wall every part of his beautiful face lifeless, left in a jaw open expression. All because I couldn't save him.
"This is your fault and it's all because you were to weak to save him."
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I wake up gasping for air. Sprouting myself up and re running what had just happened to me. The dream registered in my mind vividly. Everything that was said and everything I saw replaying in my mind.
"Chrollo." I whisper remembering what the dream had done to him as I look to my side seeing him there calmly resting. His arms now holding the air instead of me after I jolted awake His body positioned sideways and his hair coving bits of his face,but he was still alive. I stare at him as a small smile spreads across my face before I leave the bed. Leaving to the kitchen to make myslef some tea that would hopefully let me rest again from these horrible dreams.
As I made the tea nothing crossed my mind except the fact that I had been found,and not in a good way. The way I had been found was not by Chrollo it was by my family. They had found me after years or me running,it wasn't a good way to be found, but all I'm happy for is that they didn't know exactly where I was. But it seemed apparent that I had never run from them that they were always what hung from a safe distance, I had a gut wrenching feeling that they knew about Chrollo, and they certainly knew that he was weak currently. I felt my finger tips heat up almost burn before looking down at my hands.
"Ahh! Shit!" I queitly screamed realizing that I had touched the teapot with my fingers while pondering leaving me to burn my fingers on it.
Was I really so lost in thought I couldn't feel the pain till I was aware again ?
It was the obvious answer of yes. Yes I was to lost in my own thoughts and my own plan process to realize that I was injuring myslef. Looking down at my finger they're bright red nothing to severe, just something slightly painful. As I laced my fingers tofther on the counter trying to not feel the burn or the pain from the burns,and yes it may just be a slight pain,but it was a slight pain that turned into something that felt like needles being pushed through skin. As I sat all I could do was merely think again getting lost in thought.
"Does Chrollo really love me or am I just his source of protection?"
"Had my family really found me?"
"Will they kill Chrollo?"
"Who is the chain user and what does he want." Oblivious thoughts appeared in my mind. Was the man who I claimed to love really who I thought he was or was he just faking it all to hide something else. Something darker something-
Screeeeee
The teapot turned off my thoughts as it screeched before i took it off the stove and poured it into my cup then sat and waited for it to cool.
Am I my own human without Chrollo and is he his own human without me?
This question of mine stuck in my mind as soon as I said it to myself. Was I my own human was I beyond him. Of course I was. I had a stable job I had good pay, I had a home I remembered who I was and changed it,but it still lingered in the back of my mind that I had no place in this world just as my mother had said to me when I was young,and the thought continued to pace through.
If I have no place then why am I even here?
Should I except my fate and return home to let myself he executed?
Will that finally satisfy the uninvited thoughts away?
No it can't be, I'm meant for more. I'm not just a death sentence.
"Bad dreams?" I hear Chrollo's voice behind me. Turing around to see his firgure in the door way of the kicthen watching me.
"More like an uncomfortable one." I reply tapping my tea cup."how long have you been awake?"
"I've been half awake all night my love. I only got up once I felt it was appropriate to come talk to you." Chrollo lightly snickers at this as he stays leaning against the doorway his figure.
"Well go lay down again I'm alright I'll be back in bed soon,I'm just gonna drink my t-" I was cut off by Chrollo leaning down down the table and grabbing my hand
"Did you burn yourself? Your hand is very red." He grabs my hand gently just inspecting the redness which was causing needle like pains that I tried my hardest to ignore" If you were hurt you should've said something."
"Chrollo it's a burn, it's not gonna kill me all it needs is some ointment,or something. It'll be alright." I reply swiping my hand away from him, I was right though it was just red with sting some ointment would just help.
"Also I never really asked ,but what dream did you have? I'm sorry I didn't get up immediately I just wanted you to have time to calm down." Chrollo sits infront of me at the table,and hold onto the hand that isn't red, leaving to to drink the hot tea with the red stinging hand.
This makes me think He's honestly an idiot sometimes
"Just dreams I've had before ,nothing quite terribly scary." I reply at I un tangling out hands and tracing his empty palm on the table,of course I'd lie to his I don't want him to truly know what I saw in my dream,because if I couldn't bare it,I don't want to speak of it.
"Well love if it's nothing new I suggest we sleep, you need it." Chrollo begins to walk over to my side of the table, as I drink my tea.
"I'll go to bed when I finish my tea." I tell him as he approaches me ,before he picks me up off the ground bridal style, and with no words carries me out of the kitchen.
"No I need to finish my tea, put me down, I don't want cold tea on the table tommorow, because I know I'm going to be the one to clean it up." I say trying to jump out of his hold.
Chrollo continues silently his face once again showing no emtion ,and takes me up the stairs to the bedroom, the books in stacks get knocked over since he can't see where he's stepping, before placing me on the bed.
"I'll take care of it. For now you need to rest you're sleeping habits are getting as bad as mine my love ,and I don't want that to happen." He begins to climbs under the sheets with me as I melt into his touch again his arms wrapped around me holding at my waist as I held his hand.
Finally at peace and about to sleep Chrollo whispers on last thing "I know it wasn't a normal dream,I'm sorry mynlove but you've been found."
So he knew the whole time I was found in a bad way but chose to never say anything... asshole.
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Waking up in the arms of the person you love most in the world is an amazing feeling it's the one I felt as I opened my eyes to see Chrollo's sleeping face, with his eyes fully shut and small twitches occurring every so often. Looking at him brought me joy relief and happiness, the emotions went through my mind like wages of bliss knowing this would only last short time was painful, it was painful since I knew soon I would have to be involved in a fucked up sociopath family reunion , but at least for now we were safe at eachothers sides.
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Hiiii! Sorry I am ass at updating,my anxiety had spiked severely ,and I've been trying to focus on different things so sorry for the 3 months long wait,but I'm back and ready to write for you guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!🍡
Next chapter is gonna be Monday!
I love you! -beanobananna