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↳ 02 , clean slate
warnings : allusions to abuse, gore, violence
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
❝all the things she said running through my head❞
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Laid over a chair in your room was a set of Scouts' uniform. Never had you thought you would see the day where you would wear the military's symbols.
Once you had changed you took a glance in the mirror, looking at the green cloak that hung on your shoulders and the brown jacket with the 'Wings of Freedom' emblazoned into it. Straps for your 3DMG were wrapped around your legs, the hooks used to tighten them far stiffer than what you had been used to, in the Underground.
"Fuck..." you exhaled, attempting to tighten them further. The straps of your contriband 3DMG had always been set up differently, perhaps a different model. "This'll have to do," you muttered to yourself.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Training with Hange and Levi; as if you needed it. Through your time in the Underground, Elisha and you had become masters of 3DMG, and it went without saying that you had your techniques when it came to ending lives.
"Your brains are hardwired to kill humans and to follow commands. If you change humans to titans, then you'd make the perfect soldiers," Levi announced, pretty upfront about the facts of your situation.
"Well, also, you're excellent at tracking down and catching people, aren't you? You could help me gather some titans-" Hange added, quickly spiralling into an overexcited mess.
"Tsk. Keep quiet, titan freak."
"Look, I appreciate the introduction and all, but is this really necessary? Just send us to some titans and we'll take care of the rest," you interrupted, your voice laced with a naïve confidence.
"No way in hell, you'd be dead in moments," Levi counteracted you.
"And what makes you so good at surviving?" you asked the Captain with a mischievous smirk.
Hange moved to pat Levi on the head.
"I'll have you know that little Levi here is known as Humanity's Strongest, actually..."
Levi's brows furrowed slightly at the backhanded term 'Little Levi.'
"...However you make a point. You're not fighting a hoard of titans off by yourself, but we'll lure some in for a demo run, and the others can support you as backup," Hange planned.
Elisha shot her fist in the air in celebration.
"What makes you so excited?" you asked her as you began walking toward the wall.
"Cheer up, bitchface. Maybe this can be a new beginning for me... I can use my skills for good!"
"Tch, I've never heard you sound so dreamy. Since when did you ever care what was good?"
"Oh, lay off of it. I know you've had your fair share of fresh starts, but this is the first one for me... I've finally made it out of the Underground..."
Her words hit you a little with a bittersweet pain, as you realised that your life was merely a repeating cycle of mistakes and elaborate ways of covering them up.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
"Hmph, you little vermin... I've had enough of you; should have killed you a long time ago. Our lovely Lance isn't home right now, is he? You seem to forget that this is my home too."
A sharpened steak knife was brandished in her hand.
"I'll give you ten seconds to leave. Leave, and never come back. I'll tell Lancey that one minute you were here, and the next you had ran away - that you'd only been using us for our food and clothing, a roof over your head. It's the truth that boy needs to hear, he's so in denial because of those innocent eyes of yours, those evil eyes, always playing the goddamn victim and the hero, all at the same time. Go, or I'll stab the life out of them."
Evil.
That was the end of your first 'fresh start' and also the end of your second victim's life.
From that point onwards, you were no longer y/n l/n. You were Zara Sokolov, who lived in the Underground.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
For a brief moment, a feeling of dizziness caused your world to twirl as the words you had imagined stung you like it was the very first time hearing them. You ended up stumbling against Elisha; she grabbed hold of you.
"You alright Za- y/n?"
Shaking the feeling off, you got ahold of yourself. "Fine, just fine."
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
You stood atop of Wall Rose, two titans already gathering near the foot of the vast structure.
"Perfect conditions. Enough titans to make a useful training device, but not so many that it will overwhelm you, hopefully," Hange analysed, looking down at the titans below; a grizzly sight, really.
Huge stubby fingers, hands that had surely held humans hostage before, and dry lips that had definitely tasted live flesh. Yet, Hange looked down on them with a glimmer in their eyes, rather than the dread that captivated everyone else's.
"Right, let's go then!" you exclaimed, eager to get it over with, as you unsheathed a sword from your side.
Levi eyed you up and down before speaking, "Not so fast, unless you want to kill yourself on your first day. Did you even bother to do up those straps?"
"Well I did but-"
"You talk a lot for a completely incapable fool. If I hadn't spotted that, you would've been their lunch," he gestured down to the titans who stared up at you all with mindless eyes.
"Fine, give me a minute," you subsided, starting to fiddle with the straps on your thighs while the others' patience with you began to dwindle.
Levi's hand met his face in a disappointed look, the eyes of all the other Scouts drilling into the back of your head as you tried to understand the mechanism.
A sudden warm feeling hit your hand as a tan one grasped it, assisting you with the straps, a feeling that somehow left you lusting for more whenever he pulled away.
"Look, just take this part and tighten it through the loop," Jean's low voice instructed, guiding your hand across and pulling the strap until it was tight and secure.
How humiliating, the man had to help you with the straps as if you were some kind of child failing to tie their shoelaces. Were you really fit to be a soldier if you couldn't manage some stupid straps?
However, when it came to actually using the 3DMG in action, you knew that you would excel, and undo the shame that was currently creeping through your skin.
Once your gear was all fixed, Hange began to speak again, "We'll all manoeuvre down the wall, you two, don't jump to the titans until we say so. Slice the nape of their necks. This may be too much of a risk, but if anything goes wrong, we're all here as backup, and we'll have them killed in an instant, I mean we have Levi after all."
Gradually, you inched down the wall on your 3DMG, sliding closer and closer towards the titan's jaws.
"3... 2... 1... Now!" Hange shouted, ordering Elisha and you to strike.
Shooting the triggers of your 3DMG, you hooked onto the the shoulders of a titan, making its ugly face contort. Your body followed after the hooks, and you gripped your two blades, to prepare yourself. Elisha had taken to the other shoulder, and you nodded at her to signal that she could strike the titan on the nape.
As the titan attempted to grab at you, you distracted it by weaving around it's face on your gear, before landing at its feet whilst Elisha brought it to an end with her blades.
"One down, one more to go!" you yelled from the evaporating body of the titan.
The other titan came storming towards you, its heavy steps shaking the ground.
"Elisha, watch yourself!" you cried out as her back was turned to the terrifying humanoid figure.
In one snatch, Elisha was swept up into a fist, her body shaking and screaming.
"You ogre!" you shouted at the titan in agitation, flying over to its face.
It drew its fist towards its mouth, Elisha still trapped between its fingers. Stabbing your two blades into its right eye, you pushed them in deep, blood now squirting out of the eyeball at a high velocity. Next, you took out the other eye, leaving the titan blind and clueless, delaying it from devouring Elisha.
When you turned back, Levi was sawing the fingers of the titan off with his blades, and had Elisha picked up in his arms, freeing her.
"Retreat!" he ordered you, flying back up to the wall.
Part of you wanted to return, but it was impeded by another part, one which craved revenge upon the evil creature in a fierce bloodlust.
Fury coursing through your every being, you swung back around the titan, teasing it. Going after your movements, it hurled itself left and right, trying to grab at your body.
You were too fast.
"Get back l/n! This isn't some game!" Levi shouted from the top of the wall.
Giving him no response, you latched onto the side of Wall Rose, leading the titan to chase after you. Right before it could reach you, you climbed higher up the wall, leading the brainless titan to slam itself into the hard surface and topple to the floor.
While it lay face down on the ground, you dipped back down again, moving your blades in a straight line through its neck, leaving steam rising from the nape.
"What a stupid little thing."
Fleeing the scene, you landed on two feet, back at the top of Wall Rose. Your valiant efforts were met with a harsh kick to the ground.
"Do you fucking want to die?" Levi kicked you, attacking the wound that had already been paining your side.
Managing to utter through a series of aching breaths, you answered him, "I didn't though, did I...?"
Levi's eyes turned crystalline cold as he launched his boot into you again.
"Lay off of it Captain, that's where her injury is!" Jean interjected as Hange pulled Levi off of you and tried to calm his temper.
"There's no point. She saved Elisha, and that's all that matters right now," Hange assured him.
You sighed in relief, managing to pull yourself up.
"I suppose you're not as good at obeying commands as I thought you were... Remember that we can hand you into the MPs whenever we wish," Levi breathed.
"Are you threatening me?"
"That all depends on you."
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
A nurse redressed your injuries in the infirmary later that day. Outside the door, you heard muffled snippets of a conversation.
"This girl's an asset, we're talking Ackerman-level instincts, but a cocky mind controlling them because those instincts have only been used against humans, not titans... Easy wins..." a voice, similar to Hange's, spoke.
Before you could listen in any further, knocking at the door politely as he entered, Erwin stepped into the room and approached you.
"l/n, I heard about the incident today."
"I saved Elisha's ass and there's two less titans in the world, can everyone let the rest of it go?"
"Actually, your actions, although foolish, impressed me. I always tell people to give their hearts, and you certainly did that for your friend today. One kill, and an assist... on your first day."
"What's your point?"
"I need you on the Levi squad. We need your power, but we can't handle our soldiers infighting; you need to work better with your squadmates. Although today your risk payed off, you won't always be so lucky. In short, you need to be able to follow our commands, or we'll have no choice but to hand you in to the Military Police. So, along with training with Levi, you'll be in his squad, and we've assigned Kirschtein to watch over you, to ensure you don't step out of line and into danger again."
"Wha-?" you paused a little in confusion, "How could I make Levi squad on my first day? And does it have to be Kirschtein to guard me-"
"Assigning you to the squad may be a gamble, but I have faith in you - you've more than proven yourself, and you have all the necessary skills, and more. I know you're new to this, but you've already shown yourself as more than capable."
There wasn't much you could say back, you weren't going to argue with the Commander, he had been your lifeline the other day after all. Instead, you sat back and tried to get some sleep, the aching bruises and gashes on your body making it difficult.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Waking you from your slumber in the dead of night, something shook you violently.
"Mr. Pembroke...?" you mumbled, half asleep. Your eyes jolted open, a dazed vision of a man who hovered above you, his arms shaking your body. "G-g-get off of me! I thought you were dead!" you yelped, your heart stopping for a second.
With those words, the shaking stopped, and a voice sounded.
"It's Jean, and Connie's here too. You need to get up... and quickly. They found the location we've been searching for, it belongs to a man called Rod Reiss, the actual king, hidden from the public by the fake monarchy and Military Police. We've got to act fast, they have our friends... it's all a long story. I won't question whatever you were going on about, whoever 'Mr. Pembroke' is... just get ready to go."
After successfully waking you, he moved for the door.
"...Jean, Connie? The Military Police? If they find Elisha and I, we're dead..." you fretted, your actions catching up to you.
"Not if I have anything to do with it."
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a/n: not y/n tryna act badass but failing to do up her 3DMG straps😩
word count : 2273
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