𝐁𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝟐𝟕.
『𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭. 』
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
⌊𝐒𝐚𝐨𝐢𝐫 𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞⌉
"𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝."
- 𝐔𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧

༄༄༄༄

December 2019

"Can you please pass me that pillow?" I asked Kelin making him hand me the small pillow and I placed it behind my back as I turned back to Good Girls playing on the tv.

"Rio is just so fine." Tamina shook her head as I nodded, "Mhm."

"How many times you gone say it? Young thot." Kelin shook his head at Tamina making me laugh as she flicked him off.

"Kelin shut up." She rolled her eyes hard as fuck making me just shake my head at the two.

"Who ate my chips?" Fazon came into the living room looking at us as I shrugged, "Your son ate em." I said making him smack his lips.

"You always do this, I got you yo' own two bags and I got myself ONE!" He exaggerated as I sighed, "Well you shoulda got yourself two Fazon, I'm sorry. I'll have Aja get you some more she on her way here."

"Ion even want em no more." He mumbled sitting down next to me rubbing my stomach staring at it.

I just ignored him since him and his son were bonding I guess.

"You always touchin' on her ashy ass belly." Kelin said as I waved him off, "I put some lotion on it earlier, ain't finna have my son out here all ashy and shit." Fazon shook his head as I laughed pushing him away from me.

"Move." I laughed as he chuckled kissing my stomach, "I'm playin'." He told me as I waved him off shaking my head.

"Ya'll cute or whatever but when ya'll gone drop another song, me and my girlfriend need a song for our youtube intro." Kelin said making me smack my lips, "Boy you got a new girlfriend every week, you not finna waste my song."

"Literally, everytime we look up it's somebody new." Tamina shook her head as he smacked his lips.

"You just mad nobody want yo flat chested ass." He waved her off as Tamina rolled her eyes not saying anything back.

"Shut her ass right on up." Fazon laughed slapping hands with Kelin as I shook my head.

"Sholl did, got her feelin' shitty." Kelin nodded his head turning his attention back onto his phone.

"Ya'll both ugly and annoying." I told them as they ignored me and I just shook my head looking at the tv.

"So is we gettin the four wheelers and dirtbikes?" Kelin asked Fazon as I raised an eyebrow looking at Fazon who was looking at Kelin.

"What? No remember I said yo' sister said no so we not gettin' em." Fazon said as Kelin looked at him crazy before his eyes widened.

"Damn I forgot."

"Fazon, why do you take me as a joke?" I asked him as he smacked his lips looking at me.

"Girl....what you talm 'bout?" He asked me softly looking me in my eyes making me roll my eyes looking away from him.

"You know what I'm talkin' about, stop tryna do allat." I pushed his face away from me as he tried to kiss my cheek.

"Ian do none, gimme a kiss."

I eyed him before pecking his lips before he laughed shaking his head standing up.

"We not gone get em." He shrugged telling Kelin as Kelin smacked his lips.

"You so whipped, Mob gone do it watch." Kelin waved him off as he looked at Kelin crazy.

"Who? Mob bitch ass don't even get on the dirtbikes. So gone head and go wit' his ass." Faze told Kelin as they both looked at eachother.

"Crybaby ass nigga."

"Ya'll always wanna argue about some, like some big ass children." Mina mugged them as they both looked at her crazy.

"Who you talkin' to?" Kelin asked as Faze nodded his head, "Yeah because I know you ain't talkin' to us." He co-signed as I just looked at them.

Mina frowned her face up, "I am, and what ya'll gone do?" She raised an eyebrow looking at the duo.

"You lucky he holdin' me back, because you almost met Jesus." Faze said as Kelin held his arm up in front of him making me shake my head laughing.

--

I threw the covers off of my body staring at the ceiling sighing.

"What's wrong?" Fazon mumbled making me look over at him, "It's hot as fuck." I said turning onto my side laying on my full body pillow.

"You hot because you keep movin' around, sit yo' ass down and you gone cool down." He said making me roll my eyes turning over to the other side adjusting my pillow some.

I sighed as I felt my head begin to throb, it was like everything that could be wrong right now was wrong.

I sat up getting out of the bed going into the bathroom pulling my pants down to use it.

Once I was finished I washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom, making my way out of the room and to the kitchen.

"Where you goin!" Fazon called out making me sigh, "To the kitchen."

"Come back in here, I can go get it for you." He said as I heard him moving around making me sigh turning around going back into the room.

I got into the bed turning the tv on and scrolling through youtube looking for something to watch.

"We need to get cable." I told Fazon once he came back with hella snacks and some waters.

"Boy why you got all that shit?" I asked looking at him crazy as he dropped everything onto the bed.

"I'm hungry, and we don't need cable. I got Hulu, Netflix, Apple Tv, Disney Plus, and I got WWE Network." He said making me roll my eyes, "All of those cut off after a certain amount of time and some stuff like Bad Girls Club and allat not on none of those."

"How bout you get cable and pay for it with your money."

"I will, I might get wifi too."

"You can't have two wifis at one house." He smacked his lips as I shrugged, "I guess we gone be the first people to have it."

"Goofy as fuck." He shook his head laughing as I flicked him off clicking on a seafood mukbang and grabbing a bag of chips and a bottle of water.

"Boy shut up." I waved him off as he looked at me crazy, "Girl fuck you."

"You already did." I rubbed my stomach and he laughed rubbing it as well.

"We need to record moments like these." I said making him laugh, "Why?"

"To remember, these are just precious moments we need to remember them. Where my phone at?" I asked feeling around the bed before he picked his up handing it to me.

I went to the camera and began recording the both of us.

"We look good." I said leaning into him as he laughed kissing my cheek, "Mhmm."

I moved the camera away from us trying to show my bump in the frame with us.

"My arms too short." I rolled my eyes handing it to him and he did it with no problem.

"You lanky as fuck."

He ignored me playing with my belly button that was slowly beginning to poke out.

I looked at our reflection in the camera and shook my head, "When I met you in the studio that night, I didn't even think I would ever come across you again forreal. Now look at us." I said as he nodded his head.

"I liked you when I first seen you that's why I got yo' number." He told me making me smirk, "Period, I had you weak at the knees and all we did was bump shoulders." I said making him laugh.

"You ugly as hell and actually Doom wanted you and I was gone let em have you. Till I did that song with you and I shut allat down." He said making me raise an eyebrow.

"Doom? That ain't my type."

"I'm not yo' type and look." He shrugged and I waved him off, "That's different."

"Ain't no difference, ain't no such thing as type if that person yo' soulmate. If he was yo' soulmate it wouldn't have mattered. Ya'll woulda had that natural gravitation towards eachother." He spoke while I stared at him, thinking.

"We have a natural gravitation towards eachother?" I asked making him nod ending the video putting his phone down.

"Yeah, you don't think so?" He asked making me shrug, "I do because it's like after that time we bumped into eachother I kept seeing things about you, or hearing your music and allat."

"Exactly."

"And when I was doing that song, it was like it was missing something and I couldn't figure out what it was for nothing. Then soon as you on it it's like it's perfect." I shook my head basking in the earlier memories of our relationship.

"Okay since you know so much about soulmates. Do we only get one? Because I promise you me and Chris Brown soulmates." I said making him laugh shaking his head.

"You funny as hell, but naw we only got one soulmate. I think we got other people that we gone love at one point or smoe like that, but I think you only get one true soulmate. Not everybody find they soulmate either." He shrugged staring at the tv as I just thought about what he said.

"I think we get multiple, because like you know sometimes people move on after they husband or wife die they find somebody after."

"Yeah but they ain't gone neva' love them like they loved they husband or wife, unless they husband or wife wasn't they soulmate." He shrugged as I thought about what he said.

"Sometimes they do." I said as he nodded his head, "We got two different ideas and we never gone know the truth." He shrugged looking at me while rubbing my stomach.

"I wish we knew all the secrets to life and shit." I mumbled making him shake his head, "Ion wanna know it, everybody having they own ideas make life fun. We can't enjoy it forreal when we know how it end. This shit like a movie damn near."

"You must think about this a lot or some, because it's like you always got everything thought out."

"I gotta back up my opinion. I can't tell you I think it's this and not tell you why I think it's that." He explained to me while I just stared at him as he spoke and looked at the mukbang that still played on the tv.

--

"Fuckk." I groaned turning onto my side rubbing my stomach slowly breathing deeply.

"What's wrong?" Fazon asked me as I shook my head sitting up, "I'm finna throw up." I rushed out before he hurried and moved the garbage can towards me before I emptied the contents of my stomach.

He held my hair up and rubbed my back, "You okay?" He asked making me shake my head.

"Something's not right." I said throwing the covers off of me and getting out of the bed.

"Where you goin'?" Fazon asked as I walked to the bathroom, "We need to go to the Midwife office. Something not right. We can call her on the way there." I told him before I grabbed the mouth wash pouring some into my mouth.

Once I finished gargling the mouthwash I went back into the room and grabbed some of Fazon's sweatpants putting them on, and then grabbing one of his sweatshirts and putting it on as well.

I pulled the sweatpants up at the bottom so I wasn't walking on them and slid my feet into some slides.

"Come on you ready?" Fazon asked making me nod my head grabbing a hairtie pulling my hair up into a messy bun as I walked out of hte room behind him.

"Where ya'll goin'." Mina asked me looking at me concerned as I sighed.

"Something going on with the baby sowe going to the hospital."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know yet, imma call you when I find something out. If I have to I will have Aya bring ya'll up there." I explained to her as she nodded her head.

"Okay." She mumbled while I looked at her seeing the look on her face.

I shook my head looking away from her following Fazon towards the garage.

"I'm sure everything is fine, drive safe." She said making me nod, "I love you."

"I love you too." She told me before closing the garage door and Fazon helped me into the passenger seat of the truck.

I rubbed my stomach trying to ease the pain as I worried about what was wrong.

I could tell Fazon was scared as well the way he was so silent, normally he was good at hiding his emotions in situations like this so this was surprising to me.

"I love you, you know that?" He asked me before he glanced over looking at me.

I nodded my head, "I love you too."

"Everything gone be okay." He mumbled intertwining his hand with mine.

I stared out of the window discreetly wiping the tear that fell from my eye.

"Stop crying, it's gone be okay. Everything is gone be okay."

"You promise?" I asked before shaking my head, "You can't make a promise on something you have no control over." I said as he glanced at me.

"It's gone be okay, I promise." He said squeezing my hand while I used my other hand to wipe the tears that continued to fall.

--

"Okay you have hemolysis elevated liver enzymes adnd low platelet count syndrome. Which is a severe type of preeclampsia. This appears to be onset and we need to act now. Your baby is in distress and have to perform an emergency c-section." Dr. Carmichael explained causing a wave of emotions to overcome me.

It seemed as if a blanket of emotions had me put over me and blocked everything else out. I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes while I sobbed.

"We need to act now, we're running out of time." She said as Fazon whispered to me.

"Come on, I know you scared I am too but we have to be strong for him. We need to save him." He spoke to me and it seemed as if his words were some type of rememdy as I felt my tears slowly begin to stop and I could control myself.

"Okay." I nodded my head as some people came into the room, "We need to prep you for surgery." I heard her say before I zoned out.

I did everything told to me and just stared at the serious looks on their faces as they rushed me down the hall and to the operating room.

--

My eyes slowly fluttered open as I squinted closing them since my eyes were used to the bright lights.

Slowly opening them I looked around seeing Tamina across from my bed wiping her tears while she looked at something on her phone.

Frowning I looked towards the chairs and I seen Fazon staring off into space.

Mob was sitting beside him as if waiting for him to snap out of it at any second.

"Where is he?" I asked making everyone's attention turn onto me, immediately Tamina burst into tears causing Kelin to console her while I looked to Fazon who looked so hurt.

Before he could open his mouth to say it I shook my head holding up my hand signaling for him not to say anything.

I touched my stomach and tears rushed from my eyes as I shook my head. As my body jerked from me sobbing I could feel the stitches from my wound throbbing but the pain was in my chest.

"Did you hold him?" I asked Fazon once I began to gain control of my breathing.

He nodded his head before aggresively wiping his tears, "Man he was so little and....man." He shook his head.

I felt jealous but at the same time happy I hadn't seen him. I didn't want my first time seeing my son to be my last time.

"It hurts so bad." I shook my head whispering to him while he nodded kissing my forehead.

"I know but you strong, and I love you."

"I love you too." I told him as I tried wiping my tears but they continued to flow.

--

We walked into the house and it was dead silent, Mina and Kelin were gone with Aya and so nobody was here.

"It's so quiet in here." I mumbled as Fazon nodded his head, "Used to the tv bein' on 100 and Kelin and Mina arguing over the tv."

"Like it's not a whole entire other room with a way bigger tv." I barely chuckled scratching my head before I freed my hair from the bun it had been in for days.

As I walked past the mirror in the hallway I stopped staring at my reflection fighting back the tears that threatened to fall I continued walking to the room before I kicked my shoes off and got straight into the bed.

"Aya gone pick yo' medicine up." He told me making me nod as I just stared at the wall in the darkness.

"It's like everytime we just try to be happy together something interrupts our happiness." I said not moving from my spot but I could hear him walking closer to the bed.

"Our happiness gone come one day." He told me as I shook my head.

"I don't think I'm allowed to be happy."

"Stop talkin' like that."

"I'm serious, it's like my entire life is nothing but sadness. You should get away from me while you can. I will never be able to offer you the great life you want." I told him as I felt my tears soaking the pillow.

"You make me happy everyday, everytime I look at you it's like I can't feel nothing but my love for you." He said as I shook my head.

"I have nothing to offer you, my life is nothing but tragedies. It's like God gets my hopes up about something and then rips it away from me. I wouldn't be surprised if you left next. I wouldn't blame you if you went to find someone you can have a future with."

"When it's meant for us to have a baby, we will I promise. Just because he isn't here with us physically I promise you Saoir he up there in yo Daddy arms looking down at the strong woman that was chosen to be his Mama. It's not your fault, the doctor told you this was something that could happen to anyone." He whispered to me as he turned me around and wiped my tears before holding me in his arms.

"It's okay." He mumbled kissing my forehead as I cried into his chest.
_____________________________

wow.

ummm yeah that was a lot

this isn't as long as I wanted but chile

honestly i feel like shit for this...

expect another update in a few days.

I might throw out a lil easter special or some.

- BAABYPRADA🍍