Adaline couldn't sleep. She kept having flashbacks to her memories and she couldn't bear to see the Darkling in every single one of them. She woke up with a shock as she felt the pain in her chest again.
She walked the perimeter of the Hand and considered running away. Her mind was still fixed on Ketterdam. She could even go to Fjerda or Novyi Zem. Anywhere but Ravka. But seeing her memories, she had to make the decision.
"I must kill the Darkling." She made her way to where Ramina and Simon sat, their arms almost touching each other. "Is Carolyn a part of this?"
Simon's eyes joined together. "Who is Carolyn?"
"She is a Heartrender that lives at the Little Palace." Ramina said. "She is a True Believer."
"That's why she let me go." Adaline mumbled to herself. "When I was escaping, she caught me. I thought she would take me to the Darkling but....how did she know about me?"
"I told her to keep an eye on you." Adaline's head jerked up to meet Ramina's eyes. "When you escaped, she knew you were who we were waiting for. We've been waiting a long time for you to become who you are."
I've been waiting a long time for you.
Adaline zoned out his voice. She was not going to let him get to her. "What about my powers? How do they work?"
Ramina had been expecting that question. "Every time you live, your powers increase. Their intensity increases so that you have a chance against the Darkling."
"Good thing that has done since I've died so many times."
Ramina's eyes fell. "You told me the last time that this would be your last reason."
Adaline frowned. "What does that mean?"
"It means that....you won't have the same powers you do now in your next life."
"So I was completely sure that I was going to die this time as well? How stupid did I think myself to be? I am ready to kill the Darkling. But I have only one worry."
"What if the Shadow Fold doesn't get destroyed?" Ramina finished her sentence for her.
Adaline's mouth fell open. "There are a lot of insects here, Addy." Simon teased.
"How did you...." Adaline asked.
"That is your concern. That's why we are doing this." Ramina said. "Your main aim is to undo the abomination that he created. It isn't only about killing the Darkling. We need to destroy the Fold and restore Ravka's peace. That's why you are betraying the Order of your own creation to come back every time."
That made sense. She had been meddling with the Laws of Life by coming back every time. "And have I ever found a way to destroy it?" Ramina's silence said it all. "If I had this goal, I shouldn't have erased my memories!"
"Do you know why that is?" Ramina asked. "It is because you and he are bound together more than any relationship that can exist." Adaline felt like rolling her eyes but what she said made sense. They were connected. "You are connected."
Adaline let that topic go because there were too many thoughts about it. "How do we destroy the Fold?"
Ramina sighed. "We don't know."
"Great. Then we can get out of this." Simon said. "You called me to get you out of here, Addy. You have no obligation to finish this....quest."
"Adaline has been on this path for a long time, Si." Adaline noticed the usage of the nickname that he hated being called, but he didn't seem to mind it. "She cannot betray her Order to run away."
"And what Order is that? Huh? You are talking about a suicide mission! The reason she has lived so many lives is because there is no way we can defeat him. He has won."
"Si, we cannot let that happen. If the Fold continues to exist, imagine the loss that we will be facing."
"I am not going to send her to him." Simon looked at Adaline, who was searching for answers in the ground. "Let's talk about this in the morning."
Night fell on Ravka and when Adaline went to lie down with the blanket of stars above her as her only company, she couldn't help but see him. His smile was haunting her right before her eyes. She could feel herself being in his arms, protected from any worries of the world.
She could sense his lips near her ear as they talked about the possibility of a future where they didn't have to worry about being caught and burned down for being a part of nature. They were not abominations and nor were they witches and warlocks.
They were only living beings.
She closed her eyes but she only heard his laugh near her ears. She closed both her ears in order to block it out but everything was happening because of what was in her head. She could feel his hands caressing her face as both of them lay down peacefully in their meadow.
Adaline shivered.
That was why she didn't like being touched. It was all because of the accident. Her eyes opened wide and she sat up straight. "The stag." She closed her mouth with both her hands. "The stag!"
"Addy?" Simon asked from his spot.
"The stag that caused the carriage to crash....he wasn't an ordinary stag."
Adaline looked at Ramina for answers. "You're right."
"Morozova's stag." Adaline whispered, almost impossible for her voice to be heard. "The amplifiers exist then."
"The amplifiers?" Simon, being the outsider, wondered. "You don't mean....Grisha amplifiers, do you? From Istorii Sankt'ya?" He looked at Ramina, who told him to sleep because she would talk about that in the morning.
The crash of the carriage had changed all the variables. If she had continued her alliance with Stefan. She wouldn't have been able to meet the Darkling and have her own opinions on him.
It was all a part of a plan to get Adaline to the Darkling.
The lightning that hit the tree near to the crash could have been the reason that her powers resurfaced. The universe was playing a demeaning game with her life. She did not ask for any of these, but she did.
She remembered every life that she had ever lived and it was too much. There were too many voices of reason in her head when all she wanted to do was concentrate on only one of them - hers.
Adaline had always talked about not being special. She realised just how big of an irony that was. She was the Morana. She was a supernatural being that controlled the elements of nature. She had another name for herself that she hadn't thought about yet, but she was that.
There was nothing to talk about.
Simon was wrong, because only one clear choice lay ahead of her.
And she was going to take it.
******
7 more chapters to go! I'm excited and not ready as well
But! It does give me time to work on other WIPs and the sequels, that is, if anyone would like to read them