Black hair tickled her neck and a bright sound of laughter filled the room.
"Theo!" Ava laughed and pushed at Theo's shoulders trying to get the attacks on her neck to stop, "you're going to leave a mark!"
"All the better," Theo raised her head only slightly, enough to catch Ava's eyes, "then everyone can know you are spoken for."
"Possessive isn't a good look for you," Ava challenged.
Theo was only spurred by that comment. She leaned back down and placed light kisses trailing down Ava's neck to her collar, "Lies. You love it."
Ava groaned and tried to push Theo off of her. She was right, Ava did love it. She felt the buttons on her shirt begin to fall loose and a black head of hair began to move down Ava's chest, down to her stomach. Ava's hands moved down and tangled themselves in Theo's hair, letting out soft breaths as Theo continued down. Suddenly, Theo was gone and all that was visible were the bare walls in her small quarters.
Ava lifted her head and peeked over to the second bed in the room. Seeing Pearl- her roomate- gone, Ava brought her pillow over her face and let out a small yell into it. Why did her mind have to play tricks on her like that? It wasn't fair. Theo had been right there and now she wasn't. Her heart ached and she felt a pit in her stomach; she missed her. She missed her so much. Like most suns since she had left Theo behind, Ava didn't let herself dwell on the thoughts of the Captain. Work was waiting for her and she was not one to ignore her duties.
There wasn't much to do with the crew. Being at sea for a cluster of suns nonstop usually meant that by the third one, there was nothing to do besides mediate the occasional tiff. Her lack of stuff to do lead to her Xyra's room, where she figured at the very least she could have some fun messing with the current captain of the vessel. Ava practically skipped in and slammed the door with the largest smile she could muster, she usually found the more chipper she was, the more annoyed Xyra got. Was it mean? No. It was Xyra, she usually deserved whatever Ava threw at her. Plus, it was their dynamic, and Ava had to keep up her end of it.
"Good morning," Ava announced her presence and Xyra glanced up at her from the desk.
"I'm going to need quiet for at least an hour, Red," Xyra glanced back down at the papers.
"What are you working on?" Ava asked but she was met with silence, she shouldn't have expected anything else.
Ava didn't want to leave the room so she just pulled a chair over to one of Xyra's windows and stared out onto the deck, people watching. Except, after a while, it had become boring. There were not that many people on deck so all she would catch was the occasional sailor or Navi running across deck. She was pulled, quite rudely, from her boredom when something hit the back of her head. She frowned and quickly turned around to see a slipper-like shoe on the floor and Xyra smirking to herself. Ava reached down and picked up the shoe only to throw it right back at Xyra. It was a clear miss and Xyra stuck her tongue, bragging.
"You play it up like you're so mature and sophisticated but you act like an overgrown child," Ava huffed and pulled her chair over to a place in front of Xyra.
"It's fun," Xyra shrugged, "because if you ever tried to tell anyone about what I do, no one would believe you. I would never stoop as low as to throw a shoe at your head, Red, what are you even talking about?"
Ava narrowed her eyes, "Slimy."
"Needy," Xyra shot right back.
Ava narrowed her eyes, considering whether to respond. She had seen Xyra go back and forth with Theo when it came to name-calling and Ava wasn't in the mood to get insulted.
"Whatever," Ava stood up, "I'm leaving and I won't be back until you learn how to be nice."
Xyra laughed, "Stop. Come back, I will quit it."
"No."
"We need to talk about things," Xyra said.
Ava's eyes lit up at that, finally something to do. She sat back down and put her chin in her hand, staring expectantly at Xyra.
"Are you ready for Elox?" Xyra asked.
"Are you?" Ava raised an eyebrow.
"Aye, why would you ask?"
Ava laughed a bit and then she realized Xyra was seriously asking and not just deflecting. She furrowed her brow and waved her hands in Xyra's general direction, "Because, your whole thing."
"Right," Xyra folded her hands over her stomach, "there will be no interrogations in Elox, none that are planned, at least. Too dangerous, we would be caught."
"So what will we be doing?"
"You're going to be taking Pearl and the both of you will be our ears on the ground,"
"Ears?"
"Both of you can blend into the crowds in Elox and I need you to use that advantage to find out what's running through the streets and Eloxian locals are saying about this whole thing," Xyra informed her.
"Why?"
"Whispers are our friend, they spread. The Center is no stranger to this strategy so if we are to mount an effective campaign against them, we'll need to know how to counter their whispers with ours," Xyra explained and Ava must have looked as lost as she was because Xyra continued to elaborate, "The battle isn't only won with destruction and violence, there are far more effective ways to weaken your enemies."
"I don't really get how anything but violence will take The Center down,"
"They are more vulnerable than you think," Xyra said, "you'll understand in time. You think you can handle it?"
"Aye, it seems easy enough,"
"That's not all," Xyra said, "you and I are still on manifest duty together. The ones we collected in Aeliz will be worthless if we don't have Eloxian ports to compare them with."
"Like I said before, easy enough," Ava shrugged.
Manifests had been a fun, but easy part of their journey. Sometimes, they had even improvised the act they used to get the documents. No one really seemed to care and the people at the port seemed to let a lot of things slide. Xyra had explained it was because most Aelizans had little respect for the Baethan government and since things like port controls were implemented by the government, the non-Eloxians that worked in government-controlled enterprises were either apathetic in their duties or actively working to subvert The Center. They just had to hand over some forged documents claiming they were port inspectors sent to copy the port manifests and it was as easy as that. Ava didn't even know if there was such a thing but either no one cared, they had effectively fooled them, maybe both.
"It is not going to be that easy this time around," Xyra stretched out her arms then hooked her fingers behind her head, "Elox is a whole different arena. One mistake and we wind up on the end of a noose."
"So, why go to Elox at all?"
"Knowing what is going on at the heart of this operation is crucial. With your ear to the ground and my insiders in different government posts the information we get from Elox will be essential to bringing down whatever plan they have against us," Xyra said but she sounded unsure, almost hopeful instead of confident.
"You seem worried," Ava pointed out.
"We're risking a lot just by being in these waters," Xyra said.
Almost like her words had pulled the lever on chaos, shouting was heard from the deck and Navi burst through the door.
"Crow's nest says there is an Eloxian ship on the horizon," Navi caught her breath before continuing, "The Center's colors, signaling for us to stop so they can board."
Xyra shot up from her chair and reached for her crutch, "Red, run to Mor tell her to gather the vanguard and when you're done call Pearl. Nav, start slowing down so they don't think they are running but keep our lead on them."
Ava wasted no time in running out of the room, her heart beating quickly in her chest. It had been a solid several cycles since any sort of action had happened and Ava was both shaking from nerves and also looking forward to the thrill of coming into contact with danger. Her gut told her that they would be fine, that they would come out of the thick of battle victorious, as they had done in the past. She crashed into Pearl on her way off the deck and into the ship and told her where to go. Morgana was more difficult to find but it only took a few minutes before they were running back to Xyra's quarters together.
Morgana hadn't even crossed the door before Xyra jumped into it.
"I stole a merchant's permit from one of the guild members we visited in Aeliz, it doesn't clear us to be on this route but they won't know that until they've come to my quarters to inspect it, " Xyra held up a piece of paper, "if they follow protocol, they will hook their lines to our ship and board us. After that, the captain of that ship will follow me back to my quarters to check if our documents are in order. I will buy us time by taking out their captain. Mor, I need you to take care of cutting their lines but we also need protection on deck."
"Alright, I'll split the vanguard in two, one boarding party and one that stays here," Morgana crossed her arms thinking, "we're stretched real thin so I'm going to need everyone that can wield a sword to do so. That means you too, Pearl and Navi."
"Aye," Navi nodded, "I'll stay with Xyra to help take down the captain in here and then make sure the deck is secure."
"I'll stay out on deck and lead the vanguard, if needed," Pearl mentioned but Morgana shook her head.
"I'll get Palomy to lead the charge on our deck. I will have you watch Xy's back too," Morgana said then began to back out, "we've got less than ten people here that can fight, Xy, just to let you know."
"And the farm girl can do the math," Xyra commented then snapped her fingers, "less counting and more preparing. All of you."
"Aye, aye, Captain," Morgana threw back to get even with Xyra then chuckled at herself. She turned around and began to jog out of the room, "Red, with me!"
Ava looked between Xyra and Morgana as for a hint of what was happening but Xyra just shrugged and motioned for her to follow Morgana. She hadn't been told to do anything by Xyra and Morgana had summoned her, did that mean she was going to get her chance at fighting? Or was she going to be delegated to some stupid task like holding a rope? Ava made quick time of catching up to where Morgana had run off to. Soon enough, every fighter they had was up on the deck, and circling Morgana and Ava was leaning more towards the assumption that she would be asked to function as a member of the vanguard. Suddenly, all excitement had washed away and the reality of what was coming dawned on her.
"I'm leaving eight of you here, waiting to attack once they come on deck. Palomy is in charge," Morgana pointed to Palomy and most of the other women to indicate that they would be her crew on deck, "Navi, Pearl, and Xyra will be inside the captain's quarters but once the fighting starts, they'll most likely come out and help you all. I need one of you all to be covering Xyra at all times, her safety is a priority."
Morgana pointed to Ava and one other girl, Hills.
"We are boarding the other ship," Morgana stated, "before they can see us do it, we'll drop into the water from the opposite side they are boarding us. We'll swim to the other ship and sneak on."
Ava's stomach flipped. Swimming was not her strong suit. She hadn't ever swum more than a quarter of a mile offshore let alone in the open ocean. Beaches and lakes were what she knew and what she was comfortable with. But this was her first chance, and maybe her only, to prove herself. Instead of alerting Morgana of the fact that she wasn't an expert swimmer, she pushed it out of mind.
"That's only three of us boarding, won't we be outnumbered?" Ava asked.
"That is where you two come in," Morgana said, "both of you are small enough to sneak around. Use that ability to run across their deck and cut their grappling lines. They can't stay boarded if they've got nothing to hook us in with."
"And you?" Ava asked.
"I'm going to be keeping an eye out for you both. If something goes wrong, I'll be there to help. When you're done, we'll enjoy another swim back to our ship and taste sweet victory," Morgana explained the plan but all Ava heard was 'we are all depending on you to not fuck up.'
"Do we have time for questions?" Ava asked.
Morgana laughed and slapped both girls, Hills and Ava, on the back and then began walking towards the starboard side of the ship while pushing their backs, "If you have any, I'm sure you'll figure it out."
Morgana took off her vest and shoes and then motioned for Ava and Hills to start shedding their own clothes. Ava peeled off her shirt, a tight bandeau over her chest covered her. Her pants were light and stuck close to her skin, taking them off would have been wholly unnecessary. The Eloxian ship was upon them sooner than Ava had imagined and before she had time to really think about what was happening, she was following Morgana into the water. When she first hit the water and swam back to the surface, she began to panic a bit. But Morgana was nearby and she told herself that she wouldn't drown with the vanguard leader by her side.
Ava had a few minutes to calm down too because instead of moving they stayed close to the edge of their boat, afloat in the water until they heard the other crew begin to board their ship. Xyra's voice could be heard speaking to the other Captain and Morgana cued them to start swimming. Careful to stick close to the other ship's blind spots, they swam as quickly as they could to the other ship's unguarded side, opposite the one that was being used to board their sloop. Morgana instructed for one of them to go first, Hills did not seem up for the task so Ava decided to take the lead, she had already conquered one fear she might as well have faced another. She climbed up the side of the ship and peeked her head over the side of the deck, trying to get a good layout of the scenario. Her heart was racing so hard her ears were thumping but she had to complete the mission. She brought herself back down under the deck and turned around.
"We're all clear, I'm going to the lines on the right," Ava whispered and then peeked over the side of the ship once again waiting for her opening. One of the crew had turned around slightly but his eyes did not catch Ava and once he turned around she was free to go. As deftly as she could, she climbed over the side of the deck and easily sidestepped her way behind some stray boxes. She didn't look over to see if Hills or Morgana had made it yet, she had her own mission, separate from theirs, that she needed to focus on. Ava made sure she still had her dagger and then advanced to the next area of cover when the coast was clear.
Her hands were shaking but her knees stayed solid as she crouched down and pseudo-ran from barrel to crate to pile of tarps and back behind barrels. She was scarily close to some of the crew members in her position but she was also almost at the first of three grappling lines. There was one person in front of the grappling hooks immediately in front of her. She sat with her back to the barrel and reviewed her options. She really saw no other path except to take out the man standing in her way. He was tall but his frame looked small enough for it to be a fair fight between them. Ava looked around and realized quickly that the sailors on this ship were severely lacking in any sort of protocol that would keep them safe.
No patrolling the deck, no weapons in hand, no pairing off of people to ensure no one got snuck up on. The man in front of her was an easy target and she decided that it was best to be hasty about things. She darted out from the barrels and came up behind the man, with a hand over his mouth and an arm tightened around his neck, she dragged him back behind the barrels and replaced her arm with a dagger before swiftly cutting his throat. No noise, nothing. It was almost sad, how his life was over so quickly, lacking any sort of fight. She set his body down flat, careful not to make any noise and she slipped out from her tight hold on him and crawled to the rope.
She pulled her dagger off her belt and began cutting. As she did, she looked around to make sure she was clear. A few dozen feet away from her was the second line and the sailor keeping guard did not register Ava off to his side. It wasn't a clear view to the last line but with a little bit of finesse, she managed to catch sight of Hills getting to work on slicing the thick rope. They were doing it, the mission looked to be successful thus far. Ava quickened her pace, feeling the dagger break through layer after layer of the rope. Suddenly, the rope snapped and she had completed her first task.
As Ava had come to learn, however, success was usually followed by failure.
The sailor guarding the rope in between Hills and Ava turned to look straight at her. Ava's stomach dropped as she realized her cover was blown and she wasted no time in rushing towards the man. Morgana had told her to figure it out as she went and apparently, this is what she had figured was best to do. Rush into the enemy's arms with only a dagger. She closed in on him quickly, making sure to get to him before he could pull out his sword. Ava angled her shoulder so it would be what impacted him and crouched a bit. She had just practiced how to tackle someone and Morgana was her partner, the poor guy stood no chance. With as much speed as she could muster she rammed her shoulder into his stomach and took him down.
Before he could scramble and fight back, Ava drove the butt of her dagger into the side of his head and it lolled to the side. He went limp and it looked like he was down for the count. She caught her breath before grabbing his sword and hopping to her feet, spinning around to see who was coming at her. There were two men running towards her, swords drawn. A third person was running in her direction too, Morgana. Ava saw her release the dagger and throw it towards one of the running men. He dropped to his knees and as he hunched over with a yell, Ava saw the dagger sticking out of his back.
Ava's attention was then captured by the second man, he had reached her and swung his sword with little technique; not that Ava was one to judge. She easily blocked it and when she sliced her own sword through the air, it connected and slashed him across his stomach. Ava had been expecting another block, some back and forth but no, he went down with hardly a fight. Hills had moved on to the last rope, taking advantage of the cover Ava and Morgana were providing. Two more people approached but Morgana easily took them both on at the same time, having found two swords along her way. After that, another sailor attempted to take them on. Two blocks and one attack later, Ava had him on the ground clutching his throat as it oozed blood.
There were dozens of soldiers and sailors on deck, probably many more below deck as well. Hills had just finished cutting the last rope and the two ships were now drifting apart. Morgana, Ava and Hills should have been chased off the ship by then, the crew should have been scrambling to find the spare lines to make sure they didn't lose their captain and the other ship, but none of that was happening. Instead, a ship full of men stayed half a deck away, cowering from the boarding party made up of three women. It was like the few people that had approached them had been the only ones to have been willing to give their life up.
"Mor?" Ava asked and she held her sword out, back to the vanguard leader.
"I'm just as confused as you are," Morgana replied and slowly began to back away towards the edge of the deck, pushing Ava and Hills along with her, "let's take advantage of the bizarre while we can."
Ava nodded and dropped her sword once she was close enough to the edge of the deck and she dove into the water. Hills was right behind her and then Morgana dropped in with a splash. They swam back to their ship and Morgana led the way this time. Ava was beginning to get tired but she pushed through it, her adrenaline boosting her to swim through the cold and choppy waters. Ava was getting thrased around by the waves but she tried not to panic. Hills was a stronger swimmer and pulled ahead of them but Morgana kept pace with Ava, making sure she didn't drown. If Morgana noticed Ava's lack of ability, nothing was said. Ava reached the ship and Morgana helped her find the footholds and climb up. Once Ava jumped over the side of the deck, she quickly whipped out her dagger and held it out. As Ava blinked the water out of her eyes, she readied herself for the action.
Except there was none. Several men were on their knees in the middle of the deck, ropes being tied around their hands. There were a few people walking out of Xyra's quarters with some bodies that belonged to the other crew. Ava scanned the deck and found Xyra walking amongst the captive Baethan crew. Morgana climbed onto the deck and Ava heard her huff.
"Not even five minutes since we cleared the way for them to start fighting and they've gone and had all the fun without us," Morgana complained and made a beeline over to Xyra, "oi, do you know what's going on?"
"What do you mean?" Xyra looked up from her inspection of the Baethan crew and over at Morgana.
Ava, being the second in command and also on the mission that had saved them, decided to jog after Morgana and get involved in the conversation.
"Only like six of them are dead," Morgana pointed out and then kicked her leg out and hit one of the prisoners, "and like twenty of them captive. Seems too easy."
"It was too easy," Xyra hummed, "how was it over there?"
"Managed to cut the lines in record time. No one was capable of catching or stopping us," Morgana crossed her arms, "we fought maybe five of them before jumping ship but no one else would come near us. They had all but dropped their weapons. Never had an easier fight. And against the Baethan navy? I've lost dozens of women to them. Something's up."
Ava had had no reference for how fights and warring with another crew was supposed to go aside from her few times experiencing it but this time had seemed fairly simple. No one seemed to be questioning that statement. Xyra paused in her gait for a second and bent down in front of one of the men on the other crew.
"Pallenua?"
Ava didn't know what Xyra said but the man's head shot up and then he quickly dropped it again.
"I-I don't know what you are saying," the man said.
"Stand him up," Xyra told Morgana, "take him to my office."
Morgana did as she was told and Xyra began to make her way into her quarters.
"Come on, Red," Xyra called out and Ava briskly walked behind Xyra.
Morgana pushed the man into a chair as Ava closed the door behind them. The rhythmic tapping of Xyra's crutch against the floor as she walked to her desk was all that was heard. The man was entirely silent, never looking up at Xyra.
"You know Aelizan," Xyra said.
"I don't," the man lifted his head up slightly.
"I have yet to meet a Baethan soldier that would know the language. Especially not one that could recognize the phrase I used," Xyra commented and crossed her arms over her chest.
"You can do whatever you want to me, I don't have information," the man said.
"You do," Xyra placed her dagger on the desk and the man's jaw clenched, Ava could see the fear begin to creep in, "Mor, untie him please."
"What?" Morgana looked as shocked as Ava felt.
They couldn't just let someone like a Baethan soldier get comfortable. Xyra didn't repeat herself; she just looked down at the dagger signaling Morgana to do as she was asked. Within seconds, he was loose.
"Show me your ribs, the ones on your right," Xyra instructed and Ava furrowed her brows, what was Xyra getting at?
The man didn't question it, he peeled his shirt off and turned so Xyra could see his side. His arm lifted up slightly and Ava caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his side. It was the Baethan army insignia, embroidered on every uniform and carved into every building they occupy. A circle made up of five smaller, interlocking rings, each representing one of the continents. Ava didn't understand what it meant but Xyra had known what she was looking for. Morgana apparently knew what it meant too.
"You think they're all conscripts?" Morgana snapped her head over to Xyra, realization dawning on her as to what was happening.
"Not sure, that is why I brought him in here," Xyra said and then reached into her drawer and pulled out a flask, setting it down in front of the man, "I will be needing information from you."
Conscript? This man in front of Ava was one of them? Xyra and Ava had picked up on a few valuable pieces of information that led them to figure out that The Center was amassing their forces and expanding the army. Towns were being occupied and when the soldiers would leave, so would the town's strongest or most promising men. Most of them were coming from The Twins and Aeliz. Efriti and Dove Island were too fragile and at the brink of rebellion and war that The Center probably figured it best to look elsewhere for soldiers.
It seemed as if they had run across a ship full of conscripts. Little training, rushed into service, no willingness to lay their life on the line for a cause they didn't believe in; it all added up. Ava watched as the man began to sense that the room wasn't openly hostile towards him anymore and he took the flask in front of him. He took a sip and Xyra took that as confirmation that he was going to answer the questions.
"What's your name? Where are you from?" Xyra asked.
"Name's Top. From Aeliz," Top said, "Island of Wikella"
"Top, how long has it been since you were taken from home?"
"Three, maybe four cycles. I lost track," he shrugged and rubbed his shaved head with a sigh, "I've spent every sun since I left thinking it would be my last, there was no point in counting."
"How many out there are volunteers? How many are actually soldiers?" Xyra asked.
"6, maybe 7," Top answered, "most everyone on our ship has a tattoo."
There were dozens of people on the other ship. Ava's heart sunk in her chest, she was constantly confronted with the cruelty of the world. The cruelty that those she had grown up with had perpetrated. The men she had cut down earlier were probably forced into service too. Suddenly, the guilt she had never felt over a kill before to started settle in.
"Morgana, go tell Navi to get us back to the other ship. Then, round up some of the women and make sure to check both ships for everyone with a tattoo. Those without one, kill them," Xyra ordered and Morgana nodded before leaving them. Ava wanted to question the decision to kill men outside of combat versus just leaving them as castaways, she wasn't sure it would have Theo's first option, but she kept quiet.
"You're not killing us?" Top asked, unsure if he was the next to be on Xyra's list.
"I am not in the business of killing people who are fighting against the same giant I am," Xyra said, "tell me, Top, do you have a leader on your ship. Among the conscripts?"
Top shook his head, "We're barely allowed a break, much less given time to be organized like that."
"Do you feel comfortable enough making decisions for your group?"
"I suppose."
"Great, you are now their leader," Xyra stood up.
"What choices am I making?" Top asked.
"You are deciding the fate of you and your crew," Xyra said and then moved to the front of her desk then sat on it, "you either gather the crew of conscripts, take the other ship, and sail away to do whatever you desire. Or, you and your crew stay on here and we drop you off at the nearest Eloxian port."
"Those are our only options?"
"Afraid so," Xyra nodded, "I'm heading to Elox and can't afford to turn back."
"I am not risking getting caught in that place," Top's voice registered some panic, "I'm sure the others would agree."
"So, you will be taking the other ship," Xyra said and then stood up from the desk, "very well. I will provide you with some funds to ensure you have enough for food or bribes are whatever else you may need it for. You are to split it between you and your crew."
"Why?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why are you letting us go? Letting us live and giving us a ship and money," Top asked, "are you not pirates? Are you not the crew they speak of? The Scorned Woman? Killer of men."
"I already explained to you, I am not in the business of killing those that are fighting against the same people as I am," Xyra repeated, "The Center is your enemy and it is mine. I help you do this, I deal a blow to them."
"So that's it? The ship is going to be brought back in, you'll give us gold and then we just sail away?" Top looked back at Ava for the first time and then at Xyra again, trying to make sure he was understanding things correctly. He had just been taken prisoner by pirates after being conscripted into the army, Ava was sure he was confused at how his luck changed so quickly.
"Good reminder," Xyra said, "Red, I'm going to need you to gather Pearl and a few other girls and take the lead on taking their sails down. It'll take them a while to get them back up, leaves them no room to come follow us."
"Anything else?" Ava asked as she made her way to the door.
"Grab three thousand gold from storage and get a team to load it onto their ship," Xyra instructed and Ava set out to do her tasks.
-----
"How are you feeling?" Xyra came up next to Ava and mimicked her position, hunched over the deck of the ship looking down into the water. They had set the other crew up as best they could and then sailed off, the sun disappearing the further they got from the other ship.
"Bored of being at sea," Ava sighed, "I miss everyone from the other crew."
"Times like these are when you start to miss Oceane and Cooker and their loud asses," Xyra chuckled a bit.
"I would trade Navi and Morgana for them in a heartbeat," Ava admitted and it earned her another laugh from Xyra. Ava was joking about trading them but she was serious about missing her crew. She felt an emptiness without all of them together.
"I'd quite like to keep Navi, Mor can go," Xyra joked back and nudged Ava, "Speaking of, Mor said you did really good with your mission. How are you feeling?"
"If that is your way of asking if I'm spiraling over killing people, I'm not," Ava caught onto the subtle hints of worry coming from Xyra, "I felt guilty when I thought I had killed conscripts but Morgana told me they were all soldiers. She might be lying to make me feel better,, I don't even know if she went back to look, but I think I'm fine."
"Alright, just checking in on my second," Xyra said.
"You could say you were just checking on a friend," Ava teased, "the ocean won't swallow you up if you admit we are more than just crewmates."
"That would be lying and it's not something I like to do," Xyra chuckled then patted Ava's back, "get some rest. The moment we land in Elox, we won't know what a moment's rest is until we rendezvous with Theo."
Xyra began to walk away and Ava tried to bite her tongue but she just couldn't. She had felt herself get closer to Xyra over the past cycles and she just felt the need to ask.
"Have you reconsidered not telling Theo?" Ava asked and Xyra stopped in her tracks. Ava shut her eyes and took a deep breath, gaining her courage before speaking again, "None of us want to hurt her. Why do we have to?"
"Get some rest, Red," Xyra said without even turning around and walked away from Ava.
Ava felt her stomach churn, a burning feeling of despair. She felt like a timer running out of sand. She looked up at the moon and held out her arms trying to make something happen. Some sort of sign or feeling or voice saying it would be okay but nothing came. She sighed and shook her head, she made her bed, and eventually she would have to lie in it.
----
When Xyra had said that there would be no time for leisure or resting, she was not joking. Ava should have expected it given that Xyra never really joked. Their start in Elox could not have gone worse. The first attempt at getting manifests had failed miserably and had closed the door on most of their other opportunities to get any other ones. They had their forged documentation, which covered every base, and yet it was not enough. Their cover had been that they were following up on a legal complaint filed against someone who had docked at port. They needed to copy the manifests to confirm that the accused individual was at the port on that day and time. What they failed to consider was that the old man in charge of the docks did not believe that two women had been assigned to go alone to gather evidence for a legal case.
He was about to run out and call a guard in to confirm that Xyra and Ava worked for the city when they had no choice but to kill him. They fled with little hassle but the trouble came later, not only did forging not fly anymore, more ports were on the lookout for rogue agents attempting to steal manifests. They had to carefully pick and choose which cities they would spare their limited opportunities on. Beyond the manifests, things went smoothly. However, no amount of smooth sailing made up for the constant stress they were under. Every sun was a new port, with new responsibilities.
She needed to be Xyra's ears and that is what she was. Together with Pearl, they took to each town like predators hunting for prey. Pearl was surprisingly good at adapting and acting like she belonged in each place. Ava surprised herself too, she was able to mold her persona to the situation and extract all the information she could. She partially contributed her ease at playing different roles to her wig, which was both a blank slate and a safety net. In Northern Elox, red hair usually meant high status. There were only two red-headed families in all of Northern Elox and she would have been figured out quickly if she didn't hide it, which is where the wig came into play. The long strands of blonde were odd to look at in the mirror, she felt completely different but that feeling helped push her to achieve her goals. It became easier to step outside of who she was.
Their best bet for information was always shopping around in the more expensive shops where the higher society women would gather to spend their suns gossiping with others. It also meant Ava got to shop for herself which was always a plus, she also couldn't help herself and she ended up buying way too many things for Theo.
Ava held up a silk shawl, feeling the material between her fingers. She wrapped it around her shoulders and turned to Pearl.
"Think this looks good?" Ava asked.
Pearl looked at Ava and then had her turn around to get a full view of it, "Aye, I think you make it work. I will say though, I've never seen you wear a shawl."
"I'm sure one day it will come in handy," Ava shrugged and slipped the fabric off of her shoulders.
"You shop the way Theo does," Pearl chuckled a bit and put back an item that was in her hands, she had bought rarely a thing their whole journey, "actually, you shop the way most pirates do."
"Good thing I am one," Ava leaned over and whispered with a smirk and then all but skipped to the shop owner.
"That is a beautiful piece," the woman said with a smile, "will that be all?"
"Afraid so. My husband will kill me if I come home again with too many things," Ava fake pouted and put the shawl on the table between them.
"That'll be 2 gold then," the woman said.
Ava sharply inhaled as she pulled out two gold pieces, "Oh my, silk has gotten more expensive. Has it not?"
Something like the shawl would have been maybe 9 silver around the time she had left Elox. If there was one thing she knew well, it was the prices of luxury items. Commenting on how things had gotten more expensive was a line proven to work, it usually got the shopkeepers talking.
"Yes, it's most definitely not good for business," the woman sighed and wrapped the shawl in some paper, "merchants can't even leave port without dying."
"I have been over in Dove Island helping my husband tend to his estate there and when he told me we would have to sail back over here, I thought my heart was going to stop," Ava put a hand over her chest and shook her head, "We made it safely but all I could think about were one of those pirates boarding us."
"You would have not lived to see another day," the woman relayed to her with wide eyes, "those mongrels have no care for life. But they say they are going to have it under control by the time reclassification rolls around. Hopefully, they're right, we need all the gold we can get before the classifier comes knocking."
Ava let out a nervous chuckle and put a hand over her stomach, "Don't mention reclassification, please. My mother always told me it would be stressful but never would I have imagined this."
They both chuckled at that and Ava smiled at the woman but it was forced. The item was given to her and she walked away mentally storing away the information from the interaction.
Besides shopping, Ava made every attempt to infiltrate places she knew were gathering grounds for affluent women. They knew every little thing that happened around Baethos; or at least they thought they knew everything. They just regurgitated information they heard their husbands talk about, who heard it from their superiors, who heard it from the nobles, who heard it from The Council. Slowly, Ava began to piece together the different narratives given. The Center was playing a good game, a long game, and Ava couldn't wait to debrief everyone else on what she had been collecting at the rendezvous. Some conversations she had were not so much informative because of the information, but because of the tone.
Women of more affluent means, including those with no last names that had not yet been reclassified into a lower house, tended to visit what was called a loungehouse. She had never been to one prior to the trip bot because her mother despised them and Ava had been too young to go whenever her sisters would sneak to one. It was actually quite fun. Each one was slightly different but most of them contained gardens, baths, dining halls, drinking rooms, and stables. It was as she was plunged into one of the steaming baths with Pearl by her side did she catch a bit of the most intense conversation she had heard.
"Polem says that he is to be shipped off once again to Efriti," one of the women in the water with them told the woman next to her, "he says he has to deal with whatever silly uprisings are being planned over there."
"Marseus is leaving next cycle to Aeliz to go find some more soldiers for the navy," the other woman replied but her expression was sour, "I told him he needs to fight for a better assignment. What would bring more honor to the classifiers' eyes, fighting and killing criminals or hiding in Aeliz until the fighting ends."
"Imagine the stories we could tell if they came back and had destroyed a group of roamers or traders," the first woman was practically salivating at the thought.
"I would rather my husband kill a pirate captain," the woman cooed and Ava was trying hard not to roll her eyes, "did you hear what Y'bon said about the group of pirates that raided Huni."
The first woman shifted from her position and leaned forward in the water out of intrigue, "No, tell me."
"She said her husband had been stationed there when pirates attacked and massacred every woman and child the soldiers couldn't save."
"And the men?" the woman held her hand over her mouth.
"Taken to be sold into slavery," the other woman answered, drama intended to be lace her tone.
"Their time is coming to an end," the woman shook her head, "and taking their barbarism with them. They all deserve to hang at the end of a noose if you ask me."
"Throw roamers in there and we'd have a perfect Baethos," the second woman said, "I would say traders too but then how would we get our dragon's breath?"
They both laughed at that, thinking they were the funniest people in the room. Ava rolled her eyes and continued to keep her ears out. The women stayed there for another hour and the subject of husbands away fighting pirates and the rest of the criminal underworld were hot topics of conversations. As new women joined their little group, they would all rush to tell the latest story they had heard. Like most places Ava had visited, The Center's war against the underworld was all anyone could talk about.
The long suns of blending into the background and trying to get a feel for the political and social tensions being created by The Center opened the door for a blossoming friendship. More so than they did in their journey throughout Aeliz, Pearl and Ava found themselves spending most of the hours of the sun together. They would spend the majority of their time at port side by side, looking out for each other, and then most of the time back on the boat together too. They roomed together, ate together, spent time in Xyra's cabin for endless hours together.
Xyra's quarters became a popular hangout spot, Xyra having to play the role of host that Theo usually took on, and it caused all of the officers to become a tightknit group. However, with Pearl it was different, it was more personal. They spoke about things that the other girls would probably never even think to open up about. Ava did her part in letting Pearl in too, giving her as much truth as she could about her childhood. While they spoke about religion, relationships, and exchanged stories about a range of experiences, they hadn't gotten to the core questions about each other until late in their journey. One night, ten suns away from arriving at their rendezvous location, Ava realized she didn't even know where Pearl was from.
"P," Ava said and flipped around from where she and Pearl had been back to back staring at opposite sides of the deck, "where are you from?"
They were both on night duty with nothing to do but sit on deck and hope the crow's nest didn't call out that there were incoming ships. Pearl laughed a bit and also turned around so she could face Ava.
"You don't know?" Pearl asked.
"How would I know, you've never told me," Ava said.
"I thought it was obvious."
"People are always telling me that when I ask. It's like, everyone can tell I'm from Elox but I cannot tell where the fuck anyone is from. It's a curse," Ava complained.
"Well, I am from The Twins. The right twin to be exact," Pearl offered up the information.
"Do you miss The Twins?" Ava asked, Pearl rarely spoke of home. Unlike Morgana who loved her home continent.
"No, I never really got to know it," Pearl shrugged, "I spent most of my life in Dove Island."
"Why?" Ava asked.
For the first time since they had begun to discuss personal things, Pearl hesitated in answering right away. She looked down at her hands as her mouth drew back into a tight line.
"I'm sorry, forget I asked," Ava retracted, not wanting to make Pearl uncomfortable. Given the proportion of women on the ship with tragic backgrounds, chances were that Pearl was not an outlier.
"No need to apologize. It's just something I haven't thought about in a while. I got lost in my head," Pearl explained, "My dad was a gambler. I was sold to someone in Dove Island to pay his debts."
"That's not legal, is it?" Ava responded quickly, appalled at the thought of a child being sold to someone.
"No, but no one cares enough to do anything about it," Pearl said.
"Oh," Ava couldn't think of anything else to say, "I'm sorry..."
"Don't be," Pearl offered her a smile, "I wasn't alone and I think we were better off away from my dad anyway. My ma and I were given a nice room, we never worked too hard, and when the debt was paid off I got my freedom."
"And your mom?"
Pearl's smile faded slightly, "She got really sick a few lengths before the debt was paid. She passed fairly quickly, which was good, no suffering on her end."
Just Pearl's suffering, Ava thought.
"Were you close with her?"
"She was everything to me," Pearl whispered and Ava could see the tear's pool in Pearl's eyes as the water glinted off the moon, "before she died she told me to leave Dove Island once I had my freedom, she said I was meant to see the world. So when the time came, I packed what little I had and set off."
"Then you found Theo," Ava put the pieces together.
"Actually," Pearl wiped her cheeks and then chuckled a bit, "I found Oceane."
"Oceane?"
"I ran into her at an inn when I had just arrived at the coast. She was causing trouble with the innkeeper because she was lying about having paid for her room," Pearl rolled her eyes at the memory, "I settled her tab, she told me about a pirate ship she was searching for and the rest was history."
"I'm sorry things happened to you the way they did but I am glad that our paths have crossed," Ava said, sincerely. Pearl, like Oceane, had shown her what it was like to have a true sister.
"You've been a good friend to me on this journey, Red," Pearl answered.
-------------
The same dream woke her up again, Theo trailing kisses down her body as Ava laid in bed. It was torture, opening her eyes and realizing that the captain wasn't in her bed hovering over her. As she rolled over, she saw Pearl's bed was empty and used the privacy to throw a fit. She thrashed against her bed with a loud grunt and then settled down. The closer they got to the rendezvous point, the more she thought about Theo.
Not a single morning or night had gone by that she hadn't thought of the girl that was waiting for her on the other ship. The girl that currently had ownership of her heart. Ava missed her more than she thought she could ever miss someone. She was happy with her crew and her role in this separate mission they had embarked on but something fundamental was missing. Theo's smile and her touch and her affection had been ripped from Ava and all she wanted was her captain back. She missed sitting on her balcony, tea and a cigarette being shared between them, speaking about everything and nothing. Ava missed saying something funny and getting rewarded with the dulcet tones of her laughter. Soon, she would experience it again.
Predictably, thoughts of Theo were always accompanied by a slight nagging feeling in her gut. The one that kept reminding her that her time on the ship and with Theo could be limited. But she was learning how to work through those thoughts, work through the paranoia. Theo would understand. Ava would come clean and apologize and tell Theo everything she wanted to know. Ava would come clean to the crew and accept the judgment they passed on. Things were going to be okay in the long run, even if it meant a rocky short term.
Her not so peaceful morning was interrupted with a knock on the door. She didn't even bother answering because whoever was there was about to walk in anyway. Her room, unfortunately for her, was missing a lock and she was really missing having one at that moment. She looked to the door as it opened and a blur of white hair barrelled into her room and jumped on her bed. Morgana was suddenly laying across the foot of Ava's small bed.
"You're so obnoxious!" Ava yelled and kicked her feet in bed and attempted to annoy Morgana enough for her to decide to get off, "learn how to knock."
Morgana, as Ava should have expected, reacted to aggression with aggression. She clambered further up onto the bed and sat on Ava's legs so she couldn't do anything, "You're so mean to me when Fortune isn't around. I wonder what she would say if she saw your nasty personality."
"What do you want, meathead," Ava furrowed her brows in mock anger towards Morgana, all in all, it was just a bit of stupid banter. Sibling banter. She had gone from a large family in which she felt alone into an even larger one in which most everyone was like her sibling.
"Training time. Xyra's gracing us with her presence today so we shouldn't keep her waiting," Morgana climbed off Ava's legs and hovered over the edge of the bed.
"No," Ava pouted, a whine in her voice, "when we train with Xyra it's hard."
"Don't be a baby about it," Morgana said and yanked the covers off of Ava, "either you get up right now or I'm carrying you there."
Ava smirked and didn't move from her spot. She raised an eyebrow as a challenge to Morgana which prompted the woman to reach down and scoop Ava up, bridal style. Ava's plan had worked. If she was going to have to show up to training regardless, she might as well have been carried there by Morgana.
"I'm going to make a formal plea to get out of training," Ava informed Morgana on their way down to Xyra, Ava's arms holding onto Morgana's neck.
"And what're you going to say?" Morgan asked with a slight laugh and adjusted Ava in her arms as they walked.
"I haven't figured that part out yet," Ava frowned, "maybe it's best to keep it simple. Just ask."
"I've never seen you have any issues with just blurting out a question. So, I would say that plan is right for you," Morgana nodded along, "I don't understand how you do it. If I ever annoyed Xyra the way you do, I would be walking around with a bruised eye."
"She's taken aback by my ineffable charm. Everyone is," Ava boasted, "I've got big, round, baby animal eyes, adorable curly hair, and a rambunctious spirit. Same reason she never yells at Oceane either. We are just too damned cute."
Morgana laughed but her eyes rolled along with it, "No wonder you both get along so well. Annoying little miscreants."
She set Ava down when they were not yet in Xyra's room.
"Oi!" Ava pouted as Morgana took off without her. She ran off after the vanguard leader, "you were supposed to carry me all the way there."
"Your ineffable charm has turned out to be effable after all," Morgana retorted.
"Effable isn't a thing," Ava pointed out, "your insult has failed."
"How is ineffable a thing and effable isn't?" Morgana questioned as they walked into Xyra's room.
"It's a thing but the context in which you used it was wrong," Ava clarified.
"But you understood what I meant, the insult did wo-"
"I would rather save the pointless argument about the nuances of language and context and get to training," Xyra interrupted and stood up walking over to them. Her foot was now free from being immobilized and her leg had healed to the point that she could walk on it.
"Moodier today than usual," Morgana raised her brows and widened her eyes in Ava's direction.
"Do you forget we are about to get physical and I tend to not pull punches when I'm angry?" Xyra threatened.
"You don't scare me," Morgana stepped closer to Xyra and puffed out her chest, it was playful but Ava knew there was true competitiveness between all the girls that were good at combat.
"Can I interject here and request to be relieved from training?" Ava raised her hand slightly to try and catch their attention.
"Why?" Xyra asked.
"We are two suns away from port and the closer we get, the more my heart aches with longing for our old crew," Ava frowned and held a hand over my heart, "I am afraid that any sort of physical activity will cause too much strain on my heart and I might perish."
"We are not two suns away from our rendezvous," Xyra informed her, "Navi had to sail us away from a storm last night. We'll be several suns late."
"What?" Ava was really frowning that time. It had been three cycles yet a few more suns seemed like too long to wait, "well now I have even more reason to skip training. This is a complete blow to my focus and motivation, truly my heart will not be able to function."
Ava was not going to miss her opportunity. She would milk the misfortune.
"I left my wife behind," Morgana said, "you will be fine."
"She would have to say yes to a union ceremony for her to be considered your wife," Xyra chuckled, "which she has yet to agree to."
"One of these suns she'll say yes," Morgana shrugged off the smugness coming from Xyra.
"Wait," Ava was just catching up to what they were saying, "you've asked Tuni to be in a union with you before?"
"Aye, many times," Morgana admitted.
"Hundred of times," Xyra laughed.
"I did it just before we left, actually. And the cycle before that. And three times the cycle before then," Morgana laughed, not seeming bothered by the clear joke Xyra was making of the situation, "one day she'll agree to it, and then she will be my actual wife."
"Why doesn't she want to?"
Morgana sighed a bit, "So, so many reasons but no real reasons at all."
Xyra walked over, she had contained her smile and patted Morgana on the back, "Wife or not, she's never leaving you. That's for sure."
"Aye," Morgana smiled, "I am ready to smash your head in now."
"You talk too much shit for someone who has yet to beat me in hand to hand," Xyra chanced a smirk, waking the beast.
"We have had many draws!"
Ava watched the two continue to argue as they pushed around furniture. She decided that if she kept quiet she would be able to fade into the back and let them go at it. Much to her content, she was left alone as they seemed to forget she was there. She tried to pay attention, they had all been training together since Xyra had gotten better and Ava got to witness first hand the impressive skill Xyra had in combat. Usually, she stayed back during training, and rarely did Ava see her actually do anything as physical as sparring. This trip was different though, or maybe Ava had just gotten close enough to Xyra to be able to see it first hand. Either way, she had learned a lot from just watching Morgana and Xyra go at it. She got her turn at times but she absorbed much more by watching rather than doing. This time, however, her enthusiasm for combat had diminished and her mind drifted, she wasn't interested in anything going on in front of her
Like most times her mind wandered, it was about Theo. She had waited for so long and now she had to wait even longer. Ava was most definitely sulking but she didn't care, it had long been established that she was a sulker when things didn't go her way. Either they really were not focusing on her or Xyra decided to cut Ava some slack, but no attention was paid to her. The sound of grunts and skin hitting skin was replaced with metal clinking. Ava would occasionally glance up to see what they were doing but her interest never stayed piqued for too long, she was just foggy. There had only been two suns until there was some semblance of a break on the horizon and now that time had been extended. Once she had heard that, and the news had sunk into her exhausted mind, the clouds rolled in.
The past three cycles had been great, barring the fact that she had been separated from most of her friends. Ava had learned so much about what she was capable of. Sneaking around, getting information, stealing when the time called for it. For fucks sake, she even swam in the middle of the ocean to another ship. In her duties, she only became more confident too; Xyra actually trusting her as a second had a lot to do with it. But even for all of the good the trip had brought, she was exhausted. Both mentally, emotionally, and physically. Not only did they never have a break but they were living on shitty rations and barely getting any sleep because of rough seas. On top of all the work, there was all of the stress that came with being on a pirate ship in the middle of Elox, arguably the worst place to be given the current political climate.
It was also hard being back to where she was from. It was a constant reminder of who she truly was. With that came the inevitable thoughts of telling Theo that she was a Vaith. That she had lied about where she came from. Ava was already preparing her case, her plea to Theo to see past whatever anger came with the truth and understand where she was coming from. It had been wearing her down, slowly. The only person she could talk about it with was Xyra but that was not even in the realm of things Ava wanted to do.
Ava was staring at the pattern on the planks of wood that made up the floor, following the swirls with her eyes; up and down. A boot popped into view, followed by another. Ava looked up to find Xyra sitting in front of her. She had pulled over a chair and sat down, taking a sip from a flask. She handed it to Ava but Ava waved it away.
"Isn't that Mor's flask?" Ava asked.
"We were sharing a drink after training when Pearl called her to help carry something," Xyra said and offered it once again, this time shaking it to pressure her to take it, "she left it here in the meantime. You should drink."
"Why?"
"You look like you need it," Xyra shrugged.
"You keep offering me drinks whenever I'm stressed," Ava pointed out and took the flask, "it's not healthy."
"It helps you relax," Xyra leaned back and wiped her brow with her shirt, "which makes you easier to deal with."
Ava paused mid-sip and rolled her eyes before swallowing the liquor, "Does it cost you to be fucking nice, Xyra?"
"I was joking," Xyra cracked an apologetic smile.
"I can never tell."
"Well, I was. I-" Xyra sighed and closed her eyes, "I enjoy your company."
Ava laughed a bit, "Xy, say it. Say I'm your friend."
"No."
"Xyra, please. Please say you're my friend," Ava smiled her warmest smile and tilted her head, blinking her eyes.
Xyra laughed and took the flask back, "The big eyes and the begging might work on our captain but it does not work on me."
"That's fine, I don't need you to admit it to know we are friends."
"Whatever you want to tell yourself," Xyra took a sip from the flask, "I need to talk to you."
"That's never comforting to hear," Ava raised a brow.
"Morgana says you show promise with shooting arrows. She also says you were good at sneaking around on that ship," Xyra complimented then handed Ava the flask, "but she can't take you onto the vanguard as a regular member."
"What does that mean for me?" Ava frowned a bit.
"There are some people the vanguard uses from time to time for certain types of combat, but they aren't on the front lines of it. That's still an option for you if your archery improves, Oceane can help you with it once you see her again. You can also get tapped for special missions, some that involved sneaking around, but Morgana can't have you in the trenches," Xyra explained, "I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted it."
Ava sighed and shrugged, not letting Xyra see how upset she was. It was obvious to Ava that she was facing an uphill battle with her quest to be on the vanguard but she wanted it so bad. Still, what was being offered was something that she would be foolish not to take up. Her frame was small and those on the vanguard that were built like her had lengths of experience and training. As she trained with Morgana, like truly trained hard, she realized how much she still had left to learn. Theo had made immense progress helping but all that time had been building the foundation that Ava never had. Morgana had shown Ava how truly grueling fighting was. It would take her a while before she could be on the vanguard as more than just an honorary member.
"All hope is not lost," Ava smiled a bit, "I can still be of use on some missions. Bright side to all of it, balancing the vanguard and quartermaster would be a bit hard."
Xyra stood up from the chair, "Your optimism is admirable."
Ava also stood up from her chair and began to help Xyra move furniture back in her place. She was pushing one of the tables to the side of the room when Navi walked in.
"Babe, lunch is almost ready and you said you would come to join the crew this time 'cause you won't make it for dinner," Navi walked over to Xyra and stopped her from moving furniture around, "and I miss you. We have opposite shifts and lunch is the only time we both have off."
Navi had not seen Ava, having made a beeline straight to Xyra. Navi was now putting her arms around Xyra's shoulders. Ava had yet to hear Navi ever say something like that to Xyra. They had been affectionate before but only with subtle actions. The pet name, the missing each other, the way Navi was looking at Xyra. Ava almost felt like she was intruding. Xyra cleared her throat and jerked her head over to Ava and Navi stepped away from Xyra.
"Hey, Red," Navi smiled, "you're going to join the crew for lunch? Or are you going to pull a Xyra and be a little recluse?"
Ava did a sharp inhale at the name but forced a smile, "Aye, I'll try and make it down but I promised Xyra I would do a few things before taking the sun off. So, can't make promises."
It was a lie. Xyra hadn't asked her to do anything but any willingness to interact with people had left her at Navi's comment. She just had to hope Xyra would not out her.
"Aye, we both have work to do," Xyra looked between Ava and Navi, "but once I finish putting the room back together, I will go to lunch."
"Fine. I will see you down there," Navi started walking back towards the door, "consider giving Red a break. She works harder than all of us."
Xyra turned to Ava once Navi had closed the door, "I am going to get the blame for keeping you away at lunch."
Ava offered an apologetic smile, "I just don't have it in me to go to lunch right now."
"You good?"
"Just tired," Ava was partly telling the truth, "so, like you and Navi are actually together now? There seem to be feelings that have been acknowledged there."
Xyra sighed and turned away from Ava as she began to move furniture again. Ava was not going to get an answer but it was clear that it was more than just sleeping together and spending time with one another. Ava had been watching them during their time at sea but the two of them were so private that she never got much aside from knowing they were spending time together. When they were around other people, sweet words and names were not exchanged between them.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Ava asked
"I do not like people in my business," Xyra said and looked over at Ava, "keep quiet about it."
"Does she know?" Ava paused what she was doing, "about me?"
"No," Xyra averted eye contact and looked down a bit, "telling her will lead to you being exposed before the time is right."
"She wouldn't just keep quiet if you asked her to?"
"She wouldn't," Xyra said then shrugged, "and she would shut me out."
"Because you were keeping a secret from her?"
"Because I kept the fact that you are a Vaith from her," Xyra answered.
Ava crossed her arms, it was always something her family had done, "What? Did my father kill her whole family too?"
"No, just her brother and father," Xyra pursed her lips together and Ava's breath was knocked out of her chest.
Of course, her father was responsible for yet another family torn apart. Everyone on this crew had a personal connection to her last name and she couldn't shake the feeling that the fallout of her secret was going to be much worse than she expected. Than she had telling herself the whole trip.
"Is there a family in Baethos he hasn't ruined the fate of?" Ava scoffed a bit and put her hands over her face, turning around from Xyra as she felt tears well up. She didn't want to cry but the morning had been a culmination of emotions. She calmed herself down and turned back around.
"Are you okay?" Xyra asked after Ava had turned back around.
"I just need a break," Ava whispered, "I understand the importance of The Grotto now. I just wanna run back there."
"Being there is a blessing, knowing the peace you are leaving behind when you walk away from it is the curse that comes with it," Xyra sagely offered, "You miss Theo?"
"That's an idiotic question," Ava laughed a bit but her smile didn't reach her cheeks.
"It was but I don't know what else to say," Xyra acknowledged, "you are being unenthusiastic and distant, which is not normal so, I am not aware of how to approach the conversation."
"A great starting point would just be to ask what is wrong," Ava advised.
"I did that," Xyra furrowed her brow.
"You asked if I was okay," Ava chuckled a bit but dropped it, Xyra wasn't going to understand the difference, "but I'm fine. I just want to get back on land."
"Excited to see Theo?"
"Yes and no," Ava admitted, "how do I pretend that nothing is about to happen, that something isn't looming over us?"
"You have been doing it the whole time," Xyra said and even though it was the truth, it hurt, "I'm sorry."
"I dug this hole, I suppose," Ava shrugged and walked towards the door, "thanks in advance for covering for me over lunch."
"Before you go... I just want to say that I will do my best to make sure you and Theo are good," Xyra said, she looked sad and maybe a bit guilty.
"Whatever happens, bad or good, my relationship with her is going to change in some way," Ava lamented, "I need to get over that fact."
"I don't envy your position."
Ava walked until she was at the door and then she turned around before opening it, "Are you going to judge me for staying with her until I tell her?"
Xyra licked her lips and paused to collect an answer, she looked like she was trying to hold back, "If you are asking for my advice, I suggest you split things off with her for now. I know it will hurt both of you but it's going to hurt anyway and it might as well be now. It could help in the long run."
Ava wasn't asking for Xyra's advice. She wouldn't have even asked her question if she knew that was the answer she was going to get. Now Xyra's words were all she was going to think about. She left Xyra's quarters and headed towards her own, hoping Pearl had joined everyone at lunch.