dedicated to my lovely friend @zia_456
October 31st:
Gawking at herself in the mirror, Mara sucks in a heavy breath. Her eyes are cerulean blue, coated thick with liner, compliments to Ryn. The white dress she wears is tight-fitting against her cream skin, now grazed golden with the California sun. Her lips powdered a rose pink, strapped into a pair of heels that wouldn't fare well at this party, but completed the outfit.
She is angelic-looking, a rare beauty, though she feels like creating ruin. Heading towards the Halloween Bash she'd been invited to by William. It is at a frat house, which would have turned her away had Ryn not insisted they go. She has past involvement with frat boys. In fact, she'd almost escorted one if he hadn't been wed.
Well, engaged, but it is the same difference at the time. Mara had been tricked by his bright green eyes and tousled black hair to see that he was nefarious. In fact, had she not accidentally been dragged by her mother to some gala, she probably would have never learned of his perversion.
Now with her hair pinned back from her face, her cheekbones contoured even sharper, she looks eccentric. The glint in her eyes doesn't matching the innocence of the outfit she wears like a second skin, leather on her accented frame.
She is ready, stepping into the Uber.
The house reeks of stale alcohol and overbearing fragrance, the first thing that hits Mara's senses as she walks through the open door. Everyone endeavores to talk over the next, so loud over the blaring music that she actually covers her ears in distress. Glancing at Ryn, who'd been lost into the sea of bodies. Her skin feels sticky just from the warmth of the room, someone bumping into her back, pitching her forwards, stumbling.
"Watch out," she bites out, turning on her heels to see a stumbling Talon. His hair is still braided in cornrows, dressed in a black suit and cat ears. His green eyes are even more energetic than before, eerily cat-like. His hand falls to the small of her back, steadying her and himself.
"Hey," he blurs, tipping forwards, "what are you doing here, love?" He is smirking, which Mara will admit made her smile back, covered by a cough. She missed his overbearing presence, but only a little. She can't let him know it.
"Walking away from you," she sidesteps him, dissipated into the crowd of people. Mara likes being surrounded, but this is smothering. Everyone pushing her deeper into the house, the pictures on the walls, all turned at angles. As if someone purposely went through the house, messing each one up.
Someone offers her a sticky solo cup, which she rejects, knowing all too well not to accept alcohol from a stranger. She'd made that mistake before, stupid and fifteen with the sheltered life of Emanuella. Luckily her drug tolerance is much higher than expected by the sleaze. She'd made it out of the room, stumbling as the world tilting sideways, having Will help her of all people.
He was there too, his high putting him on alert. Guarding as an innocent Mara, her eyes still missing the monotony of seeing the ungracious world, fell into Liam's trance. She was different, dressed in provocative clothes that seemed more like a costume than anything wearable. As if nothing matched her right, she was still figuring herself out in the most jarring way possible.
She didn't remember Liam a few years later, but he remembered her.
Will finds Mara in the crowd, looking relatively stressed. Mara feels the pulling want to take alcohol, which she finds is never safe. If anything, Mara has gotten addicted to the numbness, to the point she'd become someone separate. Not Emanualla, not Mara, but someone with nothing to stop her.
She will go off her meds, a barrier between her and nothingness. And she will fall down into a depressive cycle that always ends the same. As if she never learns, but this time is different, she has a reason to stay clean. So she shoves the alcohol away, meeting Will's gaze with a grateful sigh.
"You don't know how many guys grabbed my ass. Or attempted to before I kicked them," she shakes her head, snorting as she hugs back Will's heated embrace. His pupils are dilated, though he is on alert, watching out for his now plastered roommate.
"EMMY," a slurred voice fractures through the crowd, his dilated pupils making his eyes appear almost black. Elias is dressed as a pirate, propelling towards her with a sloppy smile. He falls into her open arms, smelling of both his familiar soap she'd grown used to and the alcohol on his lips.
"You know him?" Will asks, helping Elias off Mara, who struggles to support his mass. Of course, nobody from her group remembers Elias all that well as Mara has kept him more to herself. Handling who he can see, she was scared he would leave her, Will wouldn't remember their one interaction.
"Yes. And what did you do to him?" She slaps Will's shoulder hard, her hand leaving a mark as he hisses. Glancing at Elias, who slumps against the cool wall as support. His eyes are sealed, the smile on his lips drooping as he collapsed.
"Just gave the kid a taste, damn." Will glances over at the now almost dozing Elias, catching just as he begins to fall towards the floor. "Help me get him up to a room or something."
"Ew, no. Gosh, take Elias back to the dorms or something," Mara shudders at the thought of even going up those stairs. Her experience with frat boys, she knows enough to never leave the main level. She will much rather fight off greedy hands.
---
Elias is sitting on his bed, his legs brought up to his chest as he gazes at Mara. Elias has a fascination with getting lost in the purest of things and her attraction. He is always watching her, observing little unknowing things she does. How she picks at her always polished nails or bounces her knees when anxious.
And her eyes, he finds himself staring at them a lot too. They are remarkably blue, like the cloudless skies on a bright day. Not quite as deep blue like the ocean, but nearly as violent as the crashing waves. Her own vitality that Elias has only seen on her. That, or he only cares to notice the blue of her eyes.
"Mara," Elias whispers, grabbing her attention. She is sitting on Will's hard mattress, flicking through the many stations of his flat screen. Elias has been almost silent, she figured he was asleep or thinking, being startled by his rough voice.
"What?" She sighs, glancing over at him. The lights are dulled as his head is pounding, the blinds drawn closed so it is just them and the soft glow of light. She has a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and one of Elias's sweatshirts swallowing her frame, still feeling cold. She had not prepared her outfit for the autumn wind, her teeth chattering as they got back.
She'd offered to stay back with Elias, Will leaving after explaining the basics of their room. Elias had been almost incoherent at that point, slumping into his bed.
"Come here," he pats the empty space next to him. Mara hesitates a beat, biting her lip before shrugging. He won't remember in the morning anyway. Stalking towards his bed, she sits across from him now, matching his position. Getting lost in each other's eyes, Elias is much more alert than before. Everything appeared much more resonant, more vivid.
"Your eyes, look away," he groans.
"What? Why?" She laughs, fluttering her thick eyelashes.
"Because they're scary blue. Like, eat me scary," he shudders, covering his eyes with his hands. Mara giggles, keeping her voice low that it won't hurt his ears, but loud enough that he hears. Smiling, he looks back at her, his eyes falling towards the wings of her costume she'd left on Will's bed.
"Are you here to save me?" He smirks, tapping her two three times. Her chest pings at the action, realizing that he doesn't really know what he was doing.
"From what?" She whispers back, pulling closer to him.
"The bad guys. We should play cops and robbers," he nods, still emanating of alcohol. Mara snorts, rolling her eyes as she leans back. He is close enough she can feel his breath against her lips, the heat of his fever. She wants to fall into it, but she won't let herself. She will get hurt, or worse, they both will.
"Which would you be? The cop or the robber," she plays along.
"Well the cop. Remember when you came to the library. Yeah, yeah, and you stole from me. That's kinda mean," he shakes his head, looking at her so earnestly that she holds in a breath. The laugh bubbling in her chest at his child-like attitude, he is behaving so much otherwise from the Elias she first met.
The Elias at the library, who couldn't speak at the time, but spoke through book titles. She'd been fascinated by him, she would admit. How he'd flinched from her touch, at first she wanted to know his story, to solve his puzzle. But the more time she spent, the more her attraction developed. The farther, he came, as well. Because Elias had become so much better in the time they'd met.
She remembered the day they held hands. How she told him she wanted to fly and he wrote to her about time. The night they fought off the blizzard just to go to the bakery, just for that importance. The time they learned sign language from a book and created their own unique version of it. All the memories attacked her like a storm as she frowned, feeling so much at once.
They are like bruises left behind. Pure moments wished for on dandelions, granted to those lucky enough.
"You know the first thing I thought when I saw you, Emmy?" Elias speaks up, breaking her agitation of thought. She looks at him, with all her feelings etched on her arms, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. She feels like crying and screaming, all the same, wishing she could put them back to normal.
Wishing she could restart time.
"What?" Her voice is shaky, full of emotion.
"Damn...she sucks at singing," Elias smirks. Mara pushes him, her hand being caught by his. And somehow, in that small action and the haze of their tension, he ends up hovering over her. His nose almost grazing hers, she can taste the alcohol on his lips. So close that her heaving chest is pressed against his. Feeling his heartbeat against her palm that keeps the small distance between them.
And when he leans in, she doesn't stop him. Not when his lips lightly brush hers, silently asking permission. She is frozen, unable to respond, afraid this will all just be a dream, all in her mind. Letting him kiss her back as she fights off her mind.
But it is all wrong, and the timing is off, so she pulls away. Because he won't remember in the morning, but she will. Elias looks at her, not hurt but almost bashing himself for kissing her. Shaking his head, he sits up from her, running his hands through his hair, gripping the roots. A groan escapes him, as he glances at her, not really knowing what to look at.
"I'm sorry, I should have asked," he sobers up.
"It's okay, let's just sleep. We're both tired," Mara moves to sit up, to go back to Will's bed so they could have space. Elias catches her hand again, this time using words instead of eyes.
"Can you just- stay?" He asks, looking at her with so much electricity. He doesn't want to try anything. He just wants her in his arms, he finds he sleeps better with her near.
"Try anything, and I will castrate you," she levels him a look.
"Yes, ma'am," he salutes her. So she sleeps near him, ignoring how his arms warps around her torso, pulling her into his chest. His smell overpowers her. Allowing herself to be for just this moment, pushing away her mind. She sleeps better with him close too, so just for tonight, she falls into his embrace.
Whatever they are, whatever is happening, she will worry about it another day.
---
Authors Note:
This took forever to write because I'm lazy, hope you enjoy.
Thoughts?
Like, comment, and follow.
- Nia
Edited 4/8/22