"So, you, uh, get sent here often?" Benny attempted to flirt with a girl.
"How could I let you convince me to rewire the PA system?" Ethan asked in disbelief.
"Because I'm incredibly charming," Benny stared at the girl.
"Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Dude, the Hulk would turn pink before she talked to you," Ethan said.
"Pink with envy," Benny corrected him.
"I'm never rewiring anything for you again," Ethan sighed.
"Okay, what good is a ghost alarm in school if it isn't insanely loud?" Benny questioned.
"Fire alarm loud is loud enough, Benny," I reasoned.
"How was I supposed to know it was going to blow up the principal's window?" Benny muttered.
"Young lady?" the principal called.
The girl didn't move as Benny scooted one chair over to her.
"You might want to go in. Trust me, you do not want to tick him off," Benny advised.
"Yeah, especially when we have to go in after you," Ethan added.
"We are running out of daylight!" the principal called.
I helped her up since she couldn't seem to hear over her music. Benny helped me lead her into the room and we sat back down on both sides of Ethan.
"That girl was a total butter ears," Benny noted.
"What?" I looked at him in confusion.
"I liked everything, but her ears," Benny grinned as I rolled my eyes.
"Wow. How are you dateless?" Ethan asked.
"The better question is, how did Rory actually get a girlfriend before us?" Benny said, looking at me.
"Because he knows how to be romantic and dorky at the same time," I replied.
~~~
"That earwax was epic! I'm serious, I couldn't get the earbud out. It was like it yanked it back in," Benny said as I pulled another weed.
"Earwax can't do that, Benny," I sighed.
"Hence my unease, but that explains why my charm fell on deaf ears," Benny shrugged.
"Your charm could fall on any ears," I rolled my eyes.
"Thanks for being supportive, (Y/n)," Benny said sarcastically.
"Maybe she just ignored you. You know, like all the other girls do?" Ethan guessed.
"If they're running from you, they're not ignoring you," Benny argued.
"Hey, guys! Getting punished for your ghost alarm thing, huh?" Sarah walked up to us.
"Sarah, can I ask you a question? Do girls have way more earwax than guys? Is it a puberty thing?" Benny questioned.
"Do guys have fewer brain cells or is it just a Benny thing?" Sarah snapped, walking away.
"Well, I mean... It takes a lot more than that..." Benny trailed off. "She didn't even wait for my answer."
"Is it just me or are there a lot more weeds here than usual?" Ethan noticed.
"Maybe they only get pulled when someone gets punished," Benny theorized.
"Or, maybe, you're thinking negatively and not helping me," I added as I pulled another one out.
"Gardening isn't punishment, you three. It is an opportunity," Principal Hicks walked over to us.
"An opportunity for our hands to get dirty and jabbed by thorns?" Ethan questioned.
"No, an opportunity to look within. To banish the weeds inside your soul," Principal Hicks explained.
"There's already a curse on my soul, why should I do anything else to it?" I whispered.
"What you have to do is remove the root, so they'll never grow back again," Principal Hicks continued.
"I really think a spray bottle of Weedageddon'd be easier," Benny reasoned.
"Thanks for telling us this, Principal Hicks, but... Why are you telling us this?" Ethan asked.
"Normal troublemakers clog toilet bowls. You three rewire PAs, break my office windows, talk about space demons. I worry about you," Principal Hicks frowned.
"Trust me, Principal Hicks, this is the last time I am going to help my friend with anything," I smiled.
"Wait, so you want us to clog more toilets?" Ethan questioned.
"No, forget it. Carry on weeding," Principal Hicks sipped his tea as he walked away.
"Man, that inner weed stuff was pretty emo," Benny commented.
~~~
"I wonder if my allergies will kill me before the sunstroke does," Ethan groaned.
"My money's on the sun. You burn like a marshmallow," Benny said. He sighed as he looked at the girl across the hall. "There she is. I'm gonna try and talk to her again. See if she can ignore my funniest story," Benny walked over to her.
"Oh, come on!" I heard a yell.
"Hey, Sarah," I spotted her banging on her laptop.
"You know the buttons are on the front, right?" Ethan asked.
"Very funny," Sarah said sarcastically. "I think I have a virus. Can you, you know, geek this thing for me?" Sarah placed the laptop in my lap.
"Of course. We probably just need to take a look at the motherboard," I examined the laptop.
"Thanks, you two. Later," Sarah ran off.
~~~
"What kind of girl can resist my bowling anecdote and talking about herself? Strange!" Benny sighed.
"Speaking of strange..." I mumbled as I saw Rory.
"Hey, Rory. What's up?" Ethan asked.
"Erica and I totally like the same band," Rory motioned to his shirt.
"Single Tear? Aren't all those songs about how hard it is to be them?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah, they totally speak to me. They're rich and famous, I'm a vampire. Nobody gets us," Rory said.
"Nobody's ever got you. I don't think liking the same band is going to make much of a difference," Benny said.
"Ha, maybe not right away, but like Single Tear says: There's no time like the future," Rory sang the last part.
A vine stuck out of his earbuds and I smacked his hands away from his ears in fright. The girl Benny flirted with earlier passed by us eerily and the three of us exchanged glances.
"You know what's going on here?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah, the music industry is finally fighting back at illegal downloads," Benny said mysteriously.
"No, but this is messed up," Ethan looked at the earbuds.
"Yeah, messed up with four gigs of clutch tunes. Can I have it back?" Rory asked.
"Can we scan it for viruses, Rory? Just to, you know, make sure it's safe?" I begged sweetly.
"You don't need to worry about me, sweets. This vampire can fight anything!" Rory said determinedly.
"Can you at least tell us where you downloaded it?" I questioned.
~~~
"My parents won't let me download at home. They think the internet is a bad influence," Rory explained as he sat down at a computer.
"You're already a soulless undead creature of the night. How much worse can you get?" Benny questioned.
"Dude, if my Mom knew I was a vampire, I'd be grounded for, like, a month!" Rory exclaimed.
He pulled up the download as he stared at me. He sighed.
"Hey!" I said, startled as something wrapped around my foot. Rory held me close to him protectively.
"Did that cord just move?" Ethan asked, confused.
He picked it up and I noticed a goop on the end of the cord.
"What the heck is that?" Benny asked as Ethan touched the goop.
"Our homework," Ethan looked at me and I nodded.
~~~
"Whoa. This is weird. Chlorophyll polymer ectoplasm?" Ethan questioned. "It's like a combination of paranormal weed and Ethernet cable."
"There's plant matter in the cables?" Benny asked.
"No, they're combined. Half-alive, half-plastic," I explained.
"Like Heidi Montag," Ethan added.
"Ooh! Nice burn!" Ethan and Benny high-fived as I looked at the computer.
"Nobody's reported anything like this online," I informed them.
"I wonder," Ethan mumbled.
"Me too. Mostly about what it would be like to have eyes on my feet. Then I'd always see where I'm going," Benny explained.
"And you'd get a black eye every time you kicked something," Ethan scoffed.
"Nah, just wear special see-through shoes," Benny reasoned.
Sarah's computer chimed and I looked over at it. "Huh, weird." I gnawed on my lip. "Sarah's laptop is virus-free. Maybe it's a hardware problem." I took the laptop and closed it, flipping it over. I unscrewed the screws as I smelled something moldy. I closed my eyes in disbelief as I saw the hardware covered in ectoplasm.
"Circuit salad!" Benny cringed. "Probably the same as Rory's Zypod, and the cables in the computer lab. Computers, cables, Zypods... I have a theory."
I looked at him in disbelief. "You do?" I questioned.
"My theory is that you should be able to figure this out," Benny pointed to me.
"There's something strange going on with a plant. It's attacking the computers in the school's network," I rolled my eyes.
"That's it! I knew I was onto something," Benny said triumphantly as I closed my eyes in annoyance.
"We gotta get back to the school and stop this thing," Ethan said.
"I got another theory. It's gonna be scary," Benny said as he grabbed his spellbook.
~~~
"My theory was right," Benny said when we saw the hallway.
"Oh, come on, Benny. It's just a bunch of flickering lights," I rolled my eyes.
"Do you remember this hallway being so... ominous and terrifying this afternoon?" Benny continued.
"It's not so bad," Ethan agreed with me. "It's just a deserted hallway with creepy flashing lights and an overriding sense of doom. Yeah, it's terrifying."
"Let's just get in there and get this over with," Benny said determinedly.
"Yeah," Ethan agreed after a moment.
~~~
"Oh," Benny started when we saw the computer lab.
"I think we're too late," I whispered.
Benny walked over to the girl, who was covered in plants. "Man. This stuff spreads fast! This girl is garnished," Benny pointed out.
"What do we do?" I asked.
"I think we need some kind of weed killer. I am not going to pull any weeds out of this girl's face," Benny said quietly.
"You and (Y/n) go to the chemistry lab and I'll call Sarah," Ethan instructed.
I quickly ran to the chemistry lab. I searched the cabinets as Benny did, but we couldn't find anything.
"You find anything, because I can't," Benny said.
"No," I started to get out the ingredients. "But I know how to make some," I set them down on the counter. "Just a little bit of dish soap, white vinegar, and epsom salt," I quickly measured out the ingredients and poured them into a spray bottle. "Voila!" I swirled it around.
~~~
"Okay. Little bit of technical difficulties, but I made my own," I held up the bottle.
"Brilliant," Ethan said.
"Let's whack some weeds!" Benny held up his own bottle of weed killer that I had duplicated. He went over to the girl and pointed the bottle at her face.
"W-w-wait!" I pushed his hand down.
"We don't want to burn her face. Spray her roots! I mean, legs," Ethan instructed.
"Can I use my line again?" Benny asked.
"If you insist," Ethan sighed.
"Let's whack some weeds!" Benny repeated. He sprayed her legs and they started to jerk around.
"Stop, stop, stop!" Ethan put his hand on the girl.
"I'm stopping," Benny said, confused.
Ethan was frozen for a moment before he sprung back to life. "What did you see?" Benny asked.
"I saw a tree. It was... angry," Ethan explained.
"How could you tell? Was it choking squirrels?" Benny questioned.
"Aw, man! I was really hoping you guys would have this fixed by now. This didn't screw up my download, did it?" Rory questioned selfishly.
"Maybe we should look up your angry tree online?" Benny suggested.
"Uh, not here. Something tells me that it's not a good idea to touch these computers!" Ethan looked at Rory.
Benny pulled out his laptop and he frowned. "Looks like the school's wireless is down. I'm not getting a signal."
"We'll do it from my place," Ethan sighed.
"What about her?" I motioned to the girl.
"Uh, I don't think we should move her until we know what's going on. The weed killer didn't go over so well," Ethan advised.
"Okay. Should we call a doctor? Gardener? Cable guy?" Benny said, confused.
"Couldn't you guys just water her and make sure she gets enough sun?" Rory asked as Benny snickered.
"Okay, we'll come back for her. Let's go!" Ethan said as we started walking out of the computer lab. "Rory, I said don't touch it."
"Don't worry about me. I'm a big, bad, bloodsucking vampire. I can look out for myself," Rory scoffed.
~~~
"Hey, Benny, check this out. The oldest tree in town just got knocked down a few weeks ago," Ethan grabbed Benny and I's attention as he sat at the computer with Sarah.
"It's right next to the school. I would read under that tree, remember?" I asked Benny.
Benny nodded.
"Yeah, looks like the tree was a site of old druid rituals," Ethan added.
"So this tree soaks up magic over the years, gets knocked down, and what, now wants revenge?" Sarah questioned.
"Well, if somebody cuts me off at the shins, they're gonna hear about it," Ethan reasoned.
"So what does this mean for what's happening at school?" Sarah asked.
"Well, like Principal Hicks said: to kill the weeds, we gotta cut out the root," Ethan decided.
"Time to do some gardening!" we turned to Benny. "Let's whack some weeds-"
"Really? Again?" I said, annoyed.
"It's all I got," Benny mumbled.
~~~
"Well, there it is. Or was," Sarah sighed.
"That is one freaky stump," Benny commented.
I walked closer to the gates and looked at the tree sadly. I thought for a moment before swinging my legs over the rubber gates and looking around the tree.
"Whatcha doin', sis?" Benny called.
"Checking something," I replied.
"Did you carve something too?" Benny questioned.
I blushed. "No," I said as I spotted the initials.
(F/i) + R
I looked around and noticed another carving in the tree. One that looked like Rory had carved it.
R + (F/i)
"What's wrong?" Ethan asked.
"Nothing," I shook my head. I went back over to them. "As much as I hate to do this, we need to do it."
"Looks like the only way to stop it is to cut the root," Ethan said.
"Roots lead back to the school," Benny muttered as we walked.
"This tree wasn't ready to die," Sarah said.
"Nothing is ready to die, Sarah," I looked down at the ground. "Or at least, half die."
"Looks like we found the mother root," Ethan said as we saw the electrical panel.
"You think?" Sarah snorted as I walked over to Ethan.
"The school's internet cables run through here. These crazy roots have grown right into them," Ethan explained.
"Does this mean more yard work?" Benny asked.
"Come on, let's get this thing open," Ethan sighed. He struggled to open the door and I grabbed it, even using some of my vampire strength. It wouldn't budge.
"It looks like something is holding it shut," Sarah said.
"Something strong," Ethan added as we both let go.
"Maybe there's some haunted Venus flytrap who's trying to get illegal pay-per-view?" Benny joked.
"Cutting the roots should kill it," Ethan decided.
"Then we can save vegetable girl," I added.
"Yeah! It's gardening time!" Benny said determinedly.
"Is that the best you can do?" Sarah looked at Benny.
"Pretty much," Benny sighed.
We started to work at the roots, spraying and cutting them.
~~~
We ran down the hall and noticed the flashing lights.
"Woah. Did anybody else lose their job well done feeling?" Ethan asked nervously as he took my hand in his.
"Hey, where's Benny?" Sarah asked.
Benny came stomping up behind us and Ethan yelped when he saw the axe. "Where did you get that?"
"Janitor's closet," Benny said simply. "Always upgrade before a boss level. Let's go."
"Okay," Ethan took a brave step forward.
We heard a roar and jumped when a vine came out of the locker. Then another, and another. My eyes widened when we got to the computer lab.
"I will not be destroyed by poison or blade! I will build a new force fertilized by human souls!" Rory said with an intricate pattern covering his face. His eyes were beady as he was covered in a nest of electrical cables.
"We're dealing with one angry tree now. And it's upgraded its hardware. With Rory," Ethan sprayed the weed killer.
"Ew," Benny cringed.
"This thing's mostly cable and computer now. We can't just spray it with weed killer," I yelled.
"No, but smashing works on almost everything," Sarah countered as she traded the shovel with Benny.
"I'm with her!" Benny agreed.
"Wait," Ethan said. "It's half-tree, half-computer."
"Maybe a virus can infect its system and take this thing down," I finished, rushing over to the computer.
"Where do you just get a computer virus?" Benny asked.
"You've hacked into a computer system before, right?" Ethan retorted.
"Just cover me!" I started on the computer.
"Cover you with what?!" Benny screamed.
"Just keep killing and don't let me get killed, okay? Simple enough?" I asked sarcastically.
"Okay, this is what I call computer hacking!" Benny made up a pun.
"You're parasites!" Rory yelled.
I'm gonna "pwn" you, newb!" Benny rushed up to Rory.
A cord wrapped around his ankle and tripped him. Sarah hacked at it furiously as I finished the virus.
"Hey, tree boy!" I yelled.
"Get ready to get "nick rolled"!" Ethan yelled as I pressed the enter key. The song played for a moment before all the computers shut off. Rory fell from the cords and I sighed in relief.
"Rory, are you okay?" Ethan ran up to Rory.
"Guys, I had the weirdest dream. I was made out of carrots and I got "nick rolled"," Rory explained weakly.
~~~
"How are you feeling?" I asked. Rory was laying in bed, feeling drained. I set down a mug of hot chocolate on his nightstand. He turned over, looking at me with a drunk smile on his face.
"Better than ever," Rory said, taking my hand and kissing it.
"Did that tree get you sick? Do you have a fever?" I asked teasingly, feeling his forehead. He was normal.
"Vampires can't get sick, remember?" Rory questioned.
"Eh. Some diseases can get us sick," I reasoned.
"I love you, sweetie," Rory said, closing his eyes again.
"I love you too, honey," I said softly, kissing his forehead before getting up.
He took my hand and pulled me back. I blushed lightly as he held me close to him. He kissed my forehead before dozing off to sleep. I followed shortly after.
~~~
"I can't believe Hicks blamed us for the mess, and not you!" Benny looked at me.
"That's because I cleaned up the computer lab," I snapped.
"Maybe we should start clogging more toilets. It would be easier," Ethan groaned.
"It's unsanitary, and it's not nice for the next person who's going to use it," I reminded him.
"Thanks for fixing my laptop, (Y/n)," Sarah appeared at my side.
"No problem," I smiled at her.
"Do you have my Single Tear DVD?" Erica held out her hand to Rory.
"Right here," Rory held it out to her.
She took it quickly and sped off. I laid my head on his shoulder, smiling.
Everything that happened was so worth it.