concept: winwin comes to a realization.
"why are you looking at me like that?" winwin asked, swatting at ten's shoulder. "stop it."
"oh, come on. i saw you out there," ten said, continuing to tease the younger.
winwin clicked his tongue at the older. "i don't know what you're talking about."
ten rolled his eyes, setting the sketchbook he had on his lap on his bed. "winwin, you and lucas were like, three feet apart and all you had to do was give him a look and he came right over," he said.
winwin's heart fluttered at the memory. they were seated on the couch at the panel, lucas a good deal away from him. he gave him a look, silently asking him to come closer. as if the younger could hear him, lucas sidled up beside him, a smile on his face. a fond smile plastered itself onto winwin's face as he did so.
"and i thought you didn't like skinship unless it was with jaehyun or mark," ten said.
"i don't," winwin said immediately, shooting ten a defensive glare.
"you find some excuse to touch him more than anyone else. and he absolutely adores you. i know he's special to you, so you can't tell me you look at him and don't feel anything," ten explained, his eyes fixed on winwin.
winwin blinked. ten may have been teasing before, but this explanation made sense. he didn't mind skinship with lucas at all. if their hands were together, or lucas squeezed part of his arm, he was fine with it. they were roommates, so their bond had grown stronger through living together. and he had to admit, it was kind of adorable how lucas complimented him and hyped him up. it made him feel special.
ten giggled, breaking winwin from his thoughts. "what?" he asked, feeling his cheeks heat up.
"you're blushing, winwin. and you were smiling just a second ago," ten said. "it was like that smile xiaojun has around yangyang."
he knew exactly what smile ten was talking about. it was a small fond smile that verged on daydreamy territory. the blush on his cheeks crept up to his ears. lucas's touch gave him butterflies and whenever the younger would compliment him, it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, more so than anyone else. he felt different around lucas than he did around anyone else. it was an unfamiliar kind of different, but not a bad one. his heart sped up in his chest.
"he's outside if you want to go talk to him," ten said.
"i'm not telling him, if that's what you mean," winwin said. he stood up from his bed, heading toward the door.
"telling him what?" ten asked as his hand touched the doorknob. without looking back, winwin could see that irritating smirk on his face.
"why are you asking me? you already know, don't you?" he opened the door, then pushing his way outside. once he was outside, he let out a breath he hardly realized he was holding.
he'd never used the l word in reference to anyone before. he hadn't intended to start now. but the way his heart fluttered and his face and ears heated up, he knew he had to. he was in the l word with lucas and he didn't know how to handle it.
~~~~~~~~
winwin sighed frustratedly, running his hands over his face. he was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. his thoughts were consumed by lucas's laugh, and his smile, and the cute way he got excited whenever he was around. the problem was, he was sleeping barely five feet away from him.
it had been almost two weeks since winwin's conversation with ten and the realization that he was in the l word with him. he still couldn't tell him that, seeing as they were both best friends and roommates. who was he to ruin the beautiful relationship they had?
he sat up, carefully making his way out of bed and toward the door. lucas stirred a bit once he reached the door, then let out a sigh. he was thankfully still asleep. he set his hand on the door, carefully opening it and pulling it shut behind him. his feet carried him past the kitchen toward the door to the balcony. he glanced around to make sure no one else was awake, then made his way outside.
it was colder than he thought, so he pulled his arms closer to him as he walked to the edge and gripped the railing, looking out over the city. the lights were calming, in a way. the sound of traffic provided a comforting distraction from his racing mind. the moon was a spotlight showering its rays down on the wayv dorm's balcony.
after what felt like a few minutes, winwin's phone buzzed. after glancing at the time, he realized he had already been outside for an hour. he looked down at the message. it was from lucas, simply reading, "where are you? :("
winwin's heart skipped a beat at the message. "outside. what are you doing awake?" he asked.
"i don't know. i just woke up and you were gone." winwin frowned. he hadn't meant to worry lucas. he didn't even think he would wake up. he just needed to clear his head.
"do you want to come outside with me?" he asked, sending it before he looked twice at what he wrote. his heart nearly jumped through his chest as he realized it, but he tried to keep calm.
"sure. :)" winwin stared down at the message for a moment before looking back toward the dorm. he could see lights flashing in yangyang and xiaojun's room, signaling that they were still awake, most likely playing video games. he sighed and shook his head. he had no idea how they could stay up this late every night voluntarily.
just as he had managed to distract himself again, the door behind him clicked open. a chin rested on his shoulder. "hi, winwin hyung," lucas asked, his voice gravelly and underused from sleep. it made winwin's heart thud against his ribcage.
"hi," winwin managed quietly.
"how come you couldn't sleep?" the younger asked. "was it yangyang again?"
winwin shook his head. "i was just thinking," he said.
lucas nodded. winwin felt his shoulders relax in relief. that was one of the things that drew winwin to lucas. he didn't press things he thought the older would be uncomfortable with.
"why did you come out here?" lucas asked, lifting his chin from winwin's shoulder. "it's cold."
"i know. but it's kind of nice," winwin said, looking back out at the city.
"we could have cuddled," lucas said with a slight pout that nearly made winwin's heart burst.
"i-i don't think that would have been su-such a good idea," he stammered, hoping it was dark enough that lucas couldn't see the red creeping its way up to his ears.
lucas frowned again. "are you okay, hyung?" he asked.
"yeah, i-i'm fine." i'm just in l word with you. he mentally cursed himself, both for stammering and for not being able to actually use the l word.
"you just seem like something's on your mind," lucas said, his eyes wandering the older's face. it made winwin feel vulnerable and exposed.
"let's just say that... ten was right," winwin said, looking past the younger.
"about what?" lucas asked with an innocent head tilt.
"you know you're one of my best friends, right?" winwin asked.
lucas's eyes glimmered with expected hurt. "yeah," he said. "why?"
winwin took a breath, tearing his eyes away from the city and pointing them back toward lucas. "i l word you, that's why," he said, surprising himself.
lucas just smiled. "i love you too, winwin hyung. why were you so worried about—"
"no," winwin said, shaking his head. "i'm in l word with you, yukhei," he explained, grabbing the younger's shoulders. "the way you get all excited when all i do is walk into the room, the way you give me little compliments whenever you can, the way you offer to cuddle even though i don't usually like being cuddled but i like yours, i love all—"
winwin was cut off by a pair of hands on either side of his face and a pair of lips on his. his heart was jumping out of his chest now. he wasn't sure if this was real or if he was just dreaming. lucas pulled away and looked at winwin with a giggle.
"you're blushing but you were talking a lot and i didn't know how else to stop you. i also just really wanted to do that," he said, making winwin's ears go red for the nth time that night. "it's cute though."
"maybe i should talk more, then," winwin mumbled.
"maybe you should," lucas said, still smiling.
"maybe you should shut me up again," winwin said, gravitating toward the younger. he connected their lips again.
"winwin?" lucas asked softly, seemingly just admiring winwin's features in the moonlight.
"hm?"
"i l word you too."