Date Published: 31st March
NaLu AU
A bit angst :<
•••♡•••
The light coming from Natsu's phone cascaded on his face as he stood in the darkness of the night. He stared at his phone wallpaper. Her smile... He always found it so precious. It was one of those so many reasons why he fell in love with her. She was always so positive, bright, and carefree.
And as rare as the pearl in the endless ocean, her tears were so hard to see. It would only fall if she's really hurt, like when her mother died. That's the time he promised to himself that he'd never let it fall again, especially if he's the reason.
Bringing his phone up to his ear, his onyx eyes stared at her apartment's window as he waited for her to pick up the line. And when she did, worry quickly embraced his chest and pushed the gate open without second thought.
"J-Just come in, Natsu. I can't stand..."
The landlady next door only gave him a nod and let him open Lucy's apartment. Upon entering, he found her lying on her bed, face was buried deep on her pillow while her arms were hugging her belly.
"Luce! What's wrong?" Natsu attended to her, sitting on his heel next to her bed and brushed her hair off her face when she turned to his direction. Her brown eyes glimmered with pain, beads of sweat were forming on her forehead, though a small smile was plastered on her lips.
"I... I have menstrual cramps..."
Oh... Natsu blinked, and then let out a loud sigh of relief. Lucy suffering from monthly cramps wasn't new to him, and he already knew what he needed to do. But first thing's first...
"Uhm, do you want me to buy... sanitary n-napkin?"
Lucy giggled, too amused at Natsu's red but serious face. She suddenly remembered the time when he bought a bunch of pads in the grocery store when she had her first day during their date, while she was waiting for him in the restroom.
Noticing his furrowed eyebrows, she bit her lip. "Ehem. Well, I still have some so buying another pad isn't necessary for now. B-But could you please--"
"Make warm water and put it in a mineral bottle? Of course," he cut her off, now with a grin as he walked to her kitchenette. Lucy watched him with a smile despite her aching belly. Cramps sucks big time, alright.
"Natsu," she called, noticing that he was well-dressed and ready to attend a party. He hummed as a response and looked at her over his shoulder. "You know that I can't go with you in Zeref's birthday party, right?"
The creased of his eyebrows deepened, a sign of an incoming objection. "Luce--"
"I'd only be a burden, I'm telling you."
"Then I'll stay here with you--"
"No," Lucy tried to sit up but still squeezing her belly. "It's your brother's special day, Natsu. Among the people around him, I'm sure he's waiting for your greetings the most."
Trying to win the argument, Natsu fired his last attack... "Then I'll just text or call him--"
"Natsu."
"Fine!" ...but Lucy had him whipped badly, you see. "But I'll only go there to greet him and go home to you right after, you here me?!"
Her grin widened, heart in a pure bliss when she realized that he had just called her as his home. "Aye, sir!"
Natsu shook his head while transferring the warm water in the plastic bottle, and walked towards her to hand it. After receiving the bottle, Lucy automatically closed her eyes when he crouched down to kiss her forehead.
"I'll be back."
"Okay. See you later, then," Lucy flashed her widest grin to assure him that she'd be fine. Besides, he had just told her that he would go back to her, right? So there should be nothing to worry about.
It's not as if he'd go into a war. It's just Zeref's birthday; the popular star player of their campus who had a lot of friends especially fangirls that were all fantasizing over her Natsu whether her presence was there or not.
So yeah. She definitely had a lot to worry about.
It's not like she didn't have trust on him, though. In fact, she trusted him more than anyone else, but she didn't trust the people around him.
"I'm going..."
"Keep safe!" Lucy waved her hand as she watched him slowly close the door. And she could clearly see the hesitation in his eyes, but she just shrugged it off. "Don't drink too much, okay?! We have classes tomorrow!"
"I won't drink!"
The minutes of staring at her closed door made her smile vanish without her knowing. The roar of his engine and the sound of his car driving away were what snapped her out from her trance. He already left...
Lucy went back on lying on her bed and gently placed the warm bottle of water on her belly before closing her eyes. Natsu will be fine...
THE TINGLING OF her skin caused by the coldness had her eyes fluttered open as it darted at her ceiling. Darkness surrounded her, the moonlight passing through her glass window was keeping her out of lifeless void. "Shit! What time is it?!"
Muttering more curses, Lucy jumped out of her bed and turned the lights on. She looked at the wall clock and found out that it's already nine in the evening. It's been two hours since Natsu left her apartment, and there's no sign that he had returned yet.
Her stomach grumbled, and sighed in relief when she realized that her cramps had lessened. She then went to the kitchen to eat her dinner. After getting a cup noodles from the countertop, she started making a hot water.
Her eyes then landed on her phone above the side table next to her bed. Thinking that Natsu might have texted her, she quickly reached for it. Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw a lot of notifications from her social media accounts, mentions from her group chats, and direct messages from her friends, but she only cared about Natsu's contact name that present on her screen.
Fire Dragon♡
Luce, I went to Gray's pad first because he crashed his damn car yesterday.
Received 7:05 PM
Lucy raised an eyebrow, the image of Juvia crying when she heard that her Gray-sama got in an accident flashed in her head. That reckless racer! But Natsu picked him up to party so she guessed he didn't lose a limb.
We're already here, and there's a lot of people!
Received 7:38 PM
Luce, I can't escape. Help😭
Received 7:52 PM
Lucy's lips formed a smile. College life was stressful, one of the reasons why she wanted him to attend the party. At least for once, he needed to chill out.
Her eyes then widened when her kettle started whistling. After turning off the stove, she went back on reading his messages.
It's so boring here without you.
Received 8:14 PM
Have you already eaten? It's late.
Received 8:24 PM
Hey, are you asleep?
Received 8:30 PM
Dummy... Lucy shook her head. He's seriously asking me that in a text? Her wide smile remained on her lips until she opened Levy's spam messages for her. She didn't read it all, but her last message was enough to make her heart hammer painfully against her chest.
Please, Lu-chan! The video didn't show the whole scene!
W-What video?
With her trembling fingers, she went to her account and got surprised at the amount of notifications she had. A tag, comments, mentions, reacts, it's all too much. It kept on coming, and the latest one was Mirajane's comment.
Delete this, Lisanna!
Then followed by Gray, Erza, and Juvia's.
Gray Fullbuster
Please, fuckers. This is not what you think of it. Get a life and stop sticking your nose to somebody else's business.
Erza Scarlet
You've only seen a portion of the story, people. Don't act like you know everything.
Juvia Lockser
Natsu-san is for Love Rival only. Period.
And all of those were coming from a single content...
Lucy bit her lip, the uneasy churning in her stomach had worsened. She scrolled up, quickly reading the rest who had different reactions, but the most were all teasings about how bold and wild they are. She didn't know who the they they were talking about, though...
Really? She didn't know? Of course, she knew, but her heart kept on denying it. It's one of those rare times when she wished to live in the world of lies than face the terror of truth.
When she reached the actual post, she leaned against the near table to support her body as her knees started trembling.
"Let's witness who the real Dragneel's girl is, everyone!" An unfamiliar female's voice echoed from the background, mixing in with the booming music. The video was showing a place with neon lights roaming around the darkness.
"What the heck is that? A vlog?!" Then it was followed by series of laughter. The camera was soon directed at the next table where two people were seriously talking to each other.
The next scene made the little hope in Lucy's eyes vanish completely. That famous youngest Strauss just touched what's hers. She sat on his lap, and claimed what used to be her territory.
She kissed him. And he didn't do any fucking thing to stop her.
Lucy hadn't finished the video as her phone slipped out of her hold and landed on the tiled floor, creating a loud crash. Her eyes blinked, and just stared at the broken pieces before walking towards the light's switch. Satisfied from the darkness surrounding her, Lucy went back to her bed and pulled the blanket until it reached her neck.
Her supposed little dinner was forgotten. The pain that was supposed to come out as her tears remained in her chest...forced to be locked within and never be showed.
She slept with heavy heart, but didn't shed even a single tear.
A GROAN OF irritation escaped his lips when his alarm clock started pestering him after reaching six o'clock. Cursing under his breath, Natsu hammered it with his hand. Silence surrounded him, and that's when he realized that he's in his room.
Jolting up, a wave of pain coursed through his head without warning. Damn hangover... But still, he ignored it and reached the glass of water on his bed side table. So early in the morning and his mind was already filled of Lucys.
He couldn't get out of the bar last night! And a lot of things happened...
After finding his phone, his eyebrows furrowed when he found out that his notifications and message box had exploaded. He's not the type of person who's into social media, though he had one, so why was he getting these notifications when he hadn't posted anything?
Like a cold water being splashed onto his face, he froze as his eyes widened when he saw the video circulating around like some kind of virus. He gritted his teeth. Damn you...
After getting ready for school, he immediately drove away to Lucy's apartment. To his relief, she was still there as the door was slightly opened. Not wasting any second, Natsu went out of his car and sprinted pass the gate.
His large built blocked the doorway, his arms on the frame certainly caged Lucy in, not allowing her to go out like what she had attempted before he suddenly appeared.
"L-Luce..." He was panting, but his focus was only on searching for any sign of hatred on her blank face. Swallowing hard, he stared at her darkened eyes void with any emotion. Right then he knew...
...that he fucked up big time.
Using all of his courage, he stepped forward and closed the door before kneeling in front of her, making Lucy gasp in surprise. He then wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face on her tummy.
"N-Natsu?"
"I'm sorry," he breathed. He didn't know if she could even hear him, but his heart ached in relief when she gently put her hands on his hair.
"I'm listening."
Natsu didn't know where to start. His memories were hazy and he couldn't remember all the details. It was like it just happened in his nightmare. Unsure of what to say, words started coming out of his lips in a whisper.
"I... I think she drugged me..."
•••
It was loud. The wild music made it hard for him to hear what his friends were saying. They were in an exclusive bar in Crocus reserved only for Zeref's party. All of their friends were present, and of course, Zeref's batchmates and co-players.
Hey, are you asleep?
Sent 8:30 PM
Natsu clenched his jaw as he inwardly cursed. He promised Lucy to go back after greeting his brother but now, he couldn't exit the room because of his crazy friends.
"Guys, I have to go," he said and stood up, but before he could take a step, Gajeel's hand grabbed his shirt. "What the hell, man? Let me go!"
"Don't be a partypooper, Salamander! It's a once in a college-life party!"
"I don't care! I'll go home!" What's with that drunkard?! He had already agreed to stay longer even if his feet badly wanted to run to the parking lot and drive away, yet they're still not satisfied with it?! It's not like the party would stop once he left!
"Let's just finish this bottle, then we'll let you go!" Gray smirked and raised a still full bottle of whiskey, earning a groan of disapproval from him.
"I told to Lucy that I wouldn't drink, damn you!"
"Heh. But did she tell you not to? I'm certain no because she's not that type of girl. So give up the good boyfriend image, firebreath. It's a party! It's normal to drink!"
Gray forced him back on his seat and gave him a glass. That's where it all started. He didn't notice the time, and he didn't realize that he'd already taken fair amount of alcohol enough for him to feel tipsy. He needed to stop...
"Icepop, I need to--" Natsu blinked slowly as his eyebrows furrowed when he saw Gray walking on the dancefloor with Juvia, while he could barely see Gajeel heading to the restroom.
He looked to the seats next to him and cursed the moving lights that were making his head ache, finding himself all alone as his friends were already enjoying themselves on the center, while Erza was busy on Jellal's table.
Oh, damn... Pinching the bridge of his nose, he decided to drive back to Lucy's apartment since it's his greatest chance to escape. But he was stopped, once again, when someone grabbed his arm.
"Fu--Lisanna?" He pulled his arm away from her hands. She blinked, too obvious that she's already drunk.
"Let's talk, Natsu!" She raised the two glasses of whiskey that she had put down before she stopped him from leaving. "Please? I promise it won't take longer!"
Even hesitant, Natsu nodded before sitting back on the couch. Lisanna settled next to him and handed him the other glass, a smirk was playing on her lips. "Let's cheers? For Zeref's birthday!"
Natsu stared at the liquid reflecting the neon lights before sipping a bit, and put the glass down on their table. He couldn't care less at whatever random things Lisanna was saying, until one caught his attention.
"Why did you fall to Heartfilia instead of me? I'm your childhood friend! We have so many memories together than you two had!"
He didn't know if it's because of the alcohol's effect, or his mind and heart just had become an allies and wanted him to tell her the reason truthfully.
"Because she's not you..." he looked at her shocked face, pain was visible in her eyes. "It's not about how long we have been together, Lisanna. Yes, maybe we grew up together. Maybe we're good friends, but that doesn't mean I'll love you the way I love Lucy whom I had just met few years ago."
He treated his closest friends as his family, but not as special as how he saw and treated Lucy. At first, he only found her interesting because they had so many differences. They were arguing to a lot of things but in the end of the day, they'd part ways with a smile on their faces and heart in a synchronized rhythm. He didn't know when it had started. He just woke up one day always searching for her presence.
"E-Even a little, you didn't feel something for me?"
"Lisanna--" Natsu closed his eyes as he felt pain stabbing on his temple. Suddenly, he felt her move and sat on his lap, cupping his face with her hands, and for the worst, kissed his lips.
He opened his eyes, but the pain only worsened and his vision became hazy. Even if he's worried that the people around them were watching, that it would reach Lucy, it took him longer to push Lisanna off of him and stood up.
And he was right. People's gasp and shriek of surprise rang through his ears despite the music that was now dying down.
Even with his throbbing temple, he glared at Lisanna who's now sitting on the table and staring at him with fear. His neck and cheeks felt like burning, his jaw clenched repeatedly as his hand unbuttoned the upper part of his black shirt.
"Natsu!" Zeref ran to him... "Come on, I'll take you home! You're drunk!" ...but he just slightly pushed him and walked away with his unsteady balance, everything around him was spinning. But before he could go out, he looked at Lisanna again over his shoulder.
While Mirajane helped her sister stand, both were still in the state of shock. Even if it's her sister who was being humiliated, Mira couldn't get mad at Natsu when she saw how dark his expression was.
He was angry. And it rarely happened. Lisanna must have started it...
"Don't you dare come near me again, Lisanna."
It wasn't the first time she'd done something like this, but it was the worst. She was taking advances of him even if Lucy was around which was already disrespectful, but he didn't say anything rude and only politely declined because he didn't want to hurt her more. Lisanna was still his friend, and he respected her.
But he had never imagined that she'd go this far... She destroyed their friendship herself.
•••
"I'm sorry, Lucy! I didn't know she'd..."
"I'm relieved..." she whispered. His hug on her tightened as she ran her fingers through his soft pink hair. "It's not your fault, Natsu. Now stand up. We'll be late!"
Natsu obligued and stared at her eyes. Unlike earlier, it wasn't so cold anymore and had its light back. But for some reason, something was still off.
TWO DAYS HAD already passed since the incident. And within those days, Natsu had already sent three bastards in the dean's office along with him. Hibiki, Loke, and now, Sting.
"What's happening to you, Natsu?! It's your three consecutive times visiting my office with the same reason!" Dean Makarov exclaimed in distress.
Natsu glared at Sting who was smirking at him with no fear. "Because that bastard didn't know how to filter his dirty mouth--"
"Oh come on, Natsu-san. Don't act like you're so clean. We both know that what I was saying is true! You're a cheater--"
"I'm not!!" He tried to reach him again when Macao and Wakaba stood in between them. "And I will never be!"
"Please stop being so fucking in denial! Everyone saw it! You kissed another girl when you're in a relationship! Tsk, tsk. Lucy must have hurt that much. I guess I should--"
Natsu pushed Macao's face away and attempted to land a fist on Sting but Wakaba quickly blocked him. "You asshole! Try laying a finger on her and I'll kill you!"
"Damn brats!!" Makarov shouted in anger. "You didn't respect me, cursing each other in front of me! Don't bring your love problems in school premises! Once you go back here for the fourth time, Dragneel, I'll suspend you for a week! Get out!"
Natsu was fuming mad as he walked down the hallway to Lucy's classroom. He had missed his afternoon classes because of the troubles he had gotten himself into. He didn't actually know whom he was mad at, to those assholes or to himself.
His mouth might be denying their accusations, but there's a part of him whispering that maybe they're right... that he's a cheater.
Intended or not, his fault or not, he wanted it or not, it didn't change the fact that he had kissed someone else. And Lucy saw it, too...
If he's in her shoe, what would he feel? Just imagining her lips pressed against Sting's had him boiling in rage and fists itching to break his face. He wouldn't be mad at Lucy, but he'd certainly be broken.
"Lu--" Natsu was about to call her when she went out of her classroom, but a guy suddenly ran after her. Silently, Natsu followed them.
"H-Hey, Lucy. Are you going home?"
"Eh? Uh, yeah..." Lucy replied plainly as she fished for her phone in her bag.
"Uhm, do you want me to walk with you?"
Natsu clenched his fists, but he tried his best to remain calm. He watched Lucy's expression. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she stared at the guy like he'd said the most ridiculous thing she could ever hear.
"What for?"
The guy scratched the back of his head. "I... I thought maybe you needed some company since you just had a heartbreak. A-And since you broke up with Dragneel..."
Natsu couldn't take it anymore. He was ready to be suspended for a week when Lucy suddenly spoke with her firm voice, stopping him from executing his evil plan.
"First off, we didn't break up, and it will never happen. Second, if ever we really did, I don't need another man to heal my wounded heart. I can get back up from my fall all by myself. Thank you for your concern." And she walked away like nothing happened, leaving the guy dumbfounded and embarrassed.
Gulping in shame, he slowly turned around to go to separate way when his embarrassment intensified after seeing Natsu's mocking smirk.
"Lesson learned: Don't try making a move to my savage girl, hm?"
Then he tailed her straight to the parking lot, though his smirk had slowly vanished when he remembered her words. It really did hurt her. Of course, who wouldn't be?
"Luce!" He called, quickly getting her attention. A smile made its way to her lips, but like the past days, it didn't reach her eyes.
It was way far from her smile he used to adore. It lost its vibrant, and knowing that it's because of him brought stabs on his chest.
"Come on, I'll take you home," he opened the car for her, which she replied by a soft thank you.
He also noticed that she rarely talk. Before the incident happened, she was the noisiest person he'd ever known. She never ran out of stories. But now...
"Are you hungry? We can stop by to Starbucks."
"N-Not really."
It's only one question, one answer, then she'd forever glue her eyes out of the window. Natsu only sighed and drove directly to her apartment. When they reached her door, he used his last resort.
"Can I stay here for a night?"
He needed to talk to her. And he wouldn't let this day pass without fixing their problem. Lucy's eyes widened a bit, but soon replied with a small smile and a nod. After opening her door, she directly went to her closet, while Natsu remained on intently watching her.
"I still have your clothes here. Do you want to take a bath?"
He shook his head. "Later, you go first. I'll finish my plates."
"O-Okay. You can use my study table," she put her books in the drawers and motioned him to put his things down when it's ready.
The whole time, Natsu was watching her from the corner of his eyes. After taking a bath, Lucy settled on her bed and read a book. When the wall clock displayed six o'clock, she stood up and started preparing their dinner. She's not saying anything since then, maybe because she thought that he was so busy, or maybe she just didn't want to talk to him.
Even during dinner, she was silent, and it was very unusual. When she insisted to wash the dishes, Natsu grabbed that chance to take a bath so they could finally address the elephant in the room and get it done over with.
He found her fixing the bed when he went out of the bathroom, wearing his white tshirt and black sweatpants that he was purposely leaving here for his sleepovers.
"Luce," he firmly called as he walked closer to her, drying his hair off with a towel. "Sit here."
He made her sit on the edge of the bed, while he kneeled on the floor as he put himself between her legs and wrapped his arms around her. Lucy not minding it, she pulled the towel and rubbed his hair herself. She was gentle and so focused on it, ignoring his stares.
"Luce, talk to me."
"Hm? About what?" She only took a quick glance at him.
"About what you're feeling..." And that made her stop. She blinked before looking away.
"What are you talking about?"
"I won't get mad if you tell me that I had hurt you. Please tell me how much you hated me, I'll take it all... Just don't keep it to yourself," his hand held the small of her back and pulled her closer, while Lucy kept on ignoring him. So he snatched the towel from her and threw it to the near chair.
"N-Natsu--"
"I want your attention on me."
Adorable she might look, Natsu couldn't form a smile as he was aware that he had finally pushed her to her limit when her cheeks and the tip of her nose slowly reddened.
"We already talked about it, right?" She asked in a small trembling voice, doing her best to hold it in but she knew she was miserably failing. You're fine... You're already fine, Lucy! D-Don't...
"Yeah, but did we fix it? No. You're badly hurt, Lucy. Don't hide it away..." he wiped the tear that slipped her eye. Her lips pressed together and formed an inverted curve, a single tear became many as it trailed down her cheeks nonstop. And Natsu caught it all.
She cried, cried, and cried. It was like a never ending pouring of pain. And it was all because of him. He just broke his promised to himself.
He quickly pulled her for a tight hug, and she buried her face on his shoulder as she cried loudly, her sounds of heartache were being muffled by his white scarf. Caressing her back, he silently soothed her while planting soft kisses on her temple or hair.
It went on longer and he did nothing but to give her comfort--the one that she had been silently yearning for--until her sobs subsided. Gently pushing her slightly, Natsu wiped her tears and brushed her wet bangs off her face. She remained her eyes close, lips were parted as she panted for air. He pulled himself away from her to carry her, then laid her properly on bed.
"Do you feel better?" He whispered as he put the blanket over them. Humming softly, Lucy brought herself closer and hid her face on his chest before whispering the words that squeezed his heart badly.
"I love you..."
Then she fell asleep. Natsu gently ran his fingers through her long blonde hair, watching it sprawl beautifully on her white sheets, while a tear escaped his eye...
He realized that a woman could be strong, brave, and independent, but it would never change the fact that they had the most vulnerable heart.
So easy to break but would never be fixed.
Sure, it would be reformed, but the cracks would forever remain as a sign of the pain they had gone through.
And that was his unforgivable mistake... Breaking the heart of the most important person in his life, Lucy Heartfilia.