Chapter 8:
never going back
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SEUNGHEE
I'm in a pub near KBC building after my encounter with Cha Hyunjin and the fact that I almost submitted my resignation letter to Kang Haneul today. I order another bottle of soju and put more meat on the grill before I reach for my bag to get the resignation letter.
I just want to read it again. Maybe if I read it again, something will be able to change my mind about quitting.
“Have you heard about the new drama that will be produced by the PD of To The Sky?”
“Yeah, I'm so excited. To The Sky was so good. I didn't even expect it.”
“Right. I only watched it because of Jaemin oppa's first lead role but the storyline really got me.”
I stop and look at the two girls talking about TV dramas.
And I want to cry. What is wrong with me? Why am I quitting such a huge opportunity? Why did I walk away when Hyunjin got on one knee that day? Quitting this project means I'll have no stable income for a while until another opportunity knocks on my door and that is driving me insane but all I could worry about is how Minjoon is supposed to afford college if I don't work.
The server puts the two bottles of soju on my table along with some table napkins and then leave after giving me a sympathetic smile. That's when I realize that I've been crying silently. I quickly wipe my tears away and return to my bag.
My heart skips a beat when I don't find it.
“No, I'm sure I didn't give it to him...” I mutter, rummaging my bag. Another tear rolled down my cheek. God. I can feel myself on the verge of breaking down and I don't like it.
“Ahjumma! Please give me a bowl of jajangmyeon and one serving of samgyeopsal.”
I look up by hearing the familiar voice and I find Kang Haneul sitting right in front of me. Our eyes meet. I rub mine, my skin gets a little wet from my own tears. “Kang Haneul-ssi... what are you doing?” I ask after clearing my throat.
“I haven't had dinner.” He simply replies. “It's not awkward if I sit here, right? Everywhere else is taken.”
I look around. There's still a few seats that are free. I turn back to him as he is served jajangmyeon and samgyeopsal.
“I'm starved.” He says, digging into his dinner.
I watch him in confusion. He gives me a smile. “What are you doing? Eat. Your meat is burning.”
I close my bag and put it aside. The meat is indeed almost burnt. I grab one, blow it and the taste fills my mouth. We hear other people talking but we still don't do it. I'm about to pour myself another glass when Haneul snatches the bottle from me.
I look at him quizzically, a little annoyed.
“How are you supposed to write properly when you get drunk?” He asks.
I sigh. “Sometimes the greatest work comes out from drunken thoughts.”
Haneul actually smiles and pours me a drink and some on himself too. “Oh Seunghee, let's do it.” He says.
I blink hard. “What?”
He chuckles. I may be drunk or I finally see that handsomeness people see on him. “Your friendship trope. Write it. Let's see what you've got.”
I hold my glass but I don't drink it. “I don't understand. What made you change your mind all of a sudden?” I ask.
Haneul shrugs. “Let me ask you something.”
“But I asked you something first.”
He looks at me for a moment and a small smile plays on his lips. “I'm going to ask anyway.” He says. We're both stubborn. That, I know. “Why did you pick me as your work's producer?”
Ha.
I blink again, trying to stay sane. “Because you picked me...” I say, “New writers don't really call the shots.”
Haneul nods. He hasn't drunk his drink either. “When I was reviewing scripts and I saw that you submitted yours, I admit I was being biased.” He says.
I look at him, eyes a little wide now. That's something I would have never expected from him. Haneul continues, “I really... To The Sky is a project that connected with me. It's about chasing one's dreams no matter how far away they seemed. To be honest, it was a show I would have loved to watch when I was younger. I really loved the optimism and motivation it gave the viewers."
My eyes are teary again.
"Truthfully, we both know that it got that much attention because of the K-pop idol starring it but I don't think people would have loved his character that much if you didn't make him the way that he was. Your work, your debut as a drama writer was so well written and impressive. I picked What Planet Are You From because I wanted to work again with the writer that I knew from To The Sky. I expected the same quality of work, if not better."
I sigh, looking down at my food. I should just hand my resignation letter over to him right now. It isn't his fault. Even I know that What Planet Are You From isn't as impressive as my debut. I'm the problem. To The Sky is a work that I wrote back when I was hopeful and happy. My personal life is affecting my writing and Haneul isn't the right producer for the kind of story that I want to write. "I'm sorry for not exceeding your expectations." I say.
But Haneul smiles and says, "No, I'm sorry."
"What?"
Haneul has been many things but I never expected to ever witness him apologizing to me. "Like you, I want to do well with my debut on a major drama. This means a lot to me, but all I ever did was judge your new work and I didn't even provide constructive criticism on which parts you need to improve." He shrugs and adds, "I do still believe that it's a little cynical though."
Surprising myself, I chuckle.
Haneul smiles a little. "Oh Seunghee, I know it's intimidating taking things to the next level. We're both going through that, I believe. But that's the point. Let's go through it together and help each other improve along the way.” He extends his glass towards me. “Cheers?”
I sigh and a small smile curves on my lips as I clink my glass against his. “Cheers.” I say but what I'm not telling him is how I'm seeing him in a new light and how nice it is to hear someone who hurt you somehow apologize and admit where things have gone wrong.
* * *
SEUNGYEON
I am still in the kitchen sitting on the barstool even after Yeeun has fallen asleep on the couch, tripping on her way there because she's too drunk. She leaves me awake, letting the things she told me sink into my head and when they do, I get a sinking feeling in my chest... and rage too. For Yeeun.
I stare at the now empty bottle of wine in the silence of my new home when I hear the doorbell ring. From the security monitor, I see an unfamiliar man who has drunk Seunghee in his arms. My brows raise before I open the door.
"Hello-" He stops midway of greeting as he looks up at me. "Oh--" He rubs his eye with his free hand and says, "Aren't you Chang Seungyeon?"
Sometimes I forget I'm still a celebrity no matter how jobless I've been these days.
"Who are you?" I ask, immediately taking Seunghee from him.
"Oh, I'm Kang Haneul. I'm the drama producer for Oh Seunghee's new project." Haneul explains.
Seunghee is finally in my arms but she starts bowing her head several times to Kang Haneul. "Hello! Good bye! I respect you!" She says and I witness the look of amusement fill Kang Haneul's eyes.
"I should probably get her to bed." I tell Haneul.
He looks at me as if remembering that I'm still there. Now that doesn't happen often. "Oh, yeah. She drank quite a lot. Please take care of her."
"Thank you for taking her home."
"Good night."
"Have a good night."
I'm about to close the door when he suddenly turns to me again. "Seungyeon-ssi, we're holding auditions for the drama that we're working on. If you ever want to be a part of it, please give me a call." He says, handing me his business card. I look at it for a moment before taking it.
“Are you sure?” I ask him. Maybe he hasn't heard of me. He will, eventually, when he tells his colleagues that he saw me tonight.
Kang Haneul gives me a smile. “I'm sure. I hope to see you at the auditions.” He says, giving one last look at Seunghee before turning around to leave.
I drag Seunghee's weight with me towards her room and as I lay her down on bed (or rather, throw), she mutters a name that's familiar to my ears. “Cha Hyunjin...”
My brows furrow as I look at her pained expression even as she sleeps. I've been so focused on my own thing that I didn't even realize how much in pain my best friends are. I wish I could do something for them but I can't even save myself.
I spend a couple of minutes staring at Kang Haneul's business card before I sleep. Going under the spotlight during this time of my career would be like playing with fireㅡor rather, setting myself on fire.
* * *
YEEUN
“Aigoo, why did you drink so much when you know you'll have to work the next day?” Joon asks as he hands me the hangover drink. It's lunchtime and we meet up at the restaurant just near the coffee shop where I work.
I massage my temple and sigh. “I... Seungyeon eonni... we talked.”
“About what?” He asks smiling. “Did you talk about me?”
I roll my eyes, smiling.
Joon winks goofily. “It's game over for you once you talk about me. That means you love me. I got you.” He clicks his tongue playfully.
I look at him for a second without smiling. He turns serious too. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
I shake my head.
“Ah, there is something. Talk to me, Yeeun-ah.”
I take a deep breath. “Why do you like me?”
He looks surprised at the question at first but then he chuckles, “Why suddenly?”
I shrug. “You still don't know a lot about me even after six months.”
“That's not true.”
“What if you find out something that's not likeable about me?”
“Yeeun-ah, what's going on? Is something wrong?”
I smile and shake my head. “Nothing. I'm just thinking out loud.”
The lunch we ordered is served. It feels like my stomach is churning just at the sight of food.
Joon sighs, putting some food on my plate. “You have to fill your stomach before you go to work.”
“I'll never drink again.”
“People always do say that.”
We grin at each other and then his grin turns into a soft smile. “I like you, really. So, I was thinking, well, I've told you that I'm not that close to my parents the way you are with your mom... but I still want them to meet you.”
My hand holding the chopsticks hang mid air. “Oppa,”
He shrugs. “They keep trying to set me up with someone else, so I told them I'm already dating someone. They want to meet you.”
“But—”
“Whenever you're ready.”
I'm quiet for a couple of seconds. Joon has met my mom not even a month into dating. Of course, it has crossed my mind that I'm going to have to meet his parents someday too. I'm just... not ready yet. I'm still a mess. I want to be someone he'll be proud of.
But he's looking at me right now in a pleading way even though his mouth is saying otherwise.
“Okay,” I say quietly. ”When will we meet them?”
Joon's eyes widen. “Really? You'll really meet them?”
“Yeah, really. I should at least do this for you.”
He smiles so big, I can't but do the same. “Would you prefer to come over to our house or in a restaurant?” He asks.
We talk more about his parents and I ask what I should watch out for even though he tells me to be just myself. Being myself never works out with other people, but I didn't tell him that.
Joon is so excited. I didn't want to do anything to wipe that smile off his face.
Meeting his parents. There's no going back on this. He's really trying to take this to the next level. And I really like Joon. I do. But the more we get closer, the more I'm afraid that he'll see me in a different light once he learns my secret.
✨
author's note:
i didn't want to end the chapter here but it's already more than 2000 words smh
anyway, just a moment to introduce the male characters with you guys and why i picked them!
as you might not know yet, i'm very lazy at brainstorming names, so for this book i just picked celebs names.
X
Kang Haneul is the Amazing Kang Haneul. Seunghee actually has a huge celeb crush on him irl so I picked him.
And then, we have Yook Sungjae from BTOB. I wanted to put a Pentagon member here originally (like maybe Yuto) but I don't want this book to have the same set of characters from my other series. I picked Sungjae because I already know him and I like to take the easy way out lol
JOON! Now this one's completely made-up so he doesn't have a celebrity face. I just thought that Joon is such an easy name to write. As I've said, I like taking it easy 😂
Imagine him whoever you want him to be. Key point. He has dimples.
And then we have Cha Hyunjin. Now this was actually meant to be *Hyojin* from ONF but since I liked him but didn't know them well enough, of course, I mistook his name for something else. “Cha" is made up. Idk what Hyojin's family name is.
anyway he's the "Hyunjin" in my head. There's no deeper reason other than I really like his voice and I would love to see a Seunghee collab 👁️👄👁️
BUT
You are free to imagine all of them whoever you want them to be. The main priority is CLC 😂🙌
thanks for reading!!!