Watching Caroline walk away a second time was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I leaned against the wall and sunk down to the floor. With my knees in my chest and my head in my hands, I just sat there. I stared at the door for hours, hoping Caroline would walk back through it, but I knew she wouldn’t. I had blew it. I blew any chance I had to get Caroline back in my life.
“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have told Caroline about Kelly yet. It was just too soon. Now she’ll probably never talk to me again and it’s all my fault,” I mumbled to myself, “Why does shit like this always have to happen to me? I’m twenty-eight years old and perpetually single. The only person out there that I want in my life has turned and walked out on me, not once, but now twice. I ran her away the first time and looks like I’ve done it again. I guess I’m just destined to be single for the rest of my life.”
I felt the urge to drink. A few beers won’t hurt anything. It may just help me sleep. I walked to the fridge and grabbed a cold Miller Lite. Sitting down at the table I cracked the seal and turned it up, finishing it in one drink. I grabbed a few more out of the fridge and finished them one after one. As each can emptied I tossed it in the vicinity of the trash can. The more I tossed the more I missed.
“Hell, I’ll probably never see Caroline again. I’m sure she won’t even answer when I call her tomorrow. Even though she told me too. Is this what the life of a single dad is like? Will I always be alone? Will it always only be me and Kelly?” I slurred my words so bad that I almost couldn’t understand myself. I got up and walked to the living room, kicking empty beer cans along the way, before I slumped down on the couch, “Why is it so hot in here?” I instantly stripped down to my boxers. Laying on the couch I found myself thinking of what I could have done differently to make Caroline want to stay.
“Luke,” Amber said as she gently shook me, “Wake up.”
“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in here?” I questioned.
“Would you just wake the hell up?” Amber exclaimed.
“Oh, sorry. Is Kelly okay?” I asked curiously.
“Ummm, Kelly is fine. She’s still sleeping, but you should put some clothes on,” Amber stated as I looked down. I evidently found it extremely hot because sometime while I was asleep I had taken my boxers off. I was completely naked.
“Oh shit!” I yelled grabbing Little Kelly’s blanket and covering myself.
“It’s okay. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before,” Amber said as I blushed.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I apologized as I looked around seeing the empty beer cans all over the floor and grabbing my boxers.
“What happened last night? Was it Caroline?” Amber asked me.
“It was everything. I sat right here and watched her walk out of my life again,” I said somberly.
“What do you mean? Tell me what happened?” Amber questioned me.
“I brought her back here and I told her about Kelly and she kind of flipped out. She said she couldn’t be a mom to her. I told her that’s not what I wanted, but that we were kind of a package deal now. I told her that we could take it all slow. She left. She said to call her, but I’m sure she won’t even answer if I do,” I explained to Amber, “It’s all my fault. I threw too much on her at once.”
“Luke, you really love her don’t you?” Amber quizzed me.
“I do. More than anything I know I want to marry her. I have never stopped loving her,” I answered Amber truthfully.
“It’s not your fault. You know it’s going to take some getting used to. Last time she saw you all you were was a carefree man who dreamed of a career in music. You were someone who could be a total romantic, but a complete jerk at times too. You aren’t the same person you were five years ago. You are a father now. I have seen changes in you and that’s only been after a few days. Can you imagine how much you have changed over the past five years? Caroline just needs time to adjust to the fact that you aren’t just Luke anymore, you are Luke, the father. There’s a whole new side of you that she’s never seen before. I’m not saying she’s not going to feel anything for you, but you need to give her some space. Let her think thinks through. Text her every now and then. Tell her you are thinking about her. Invite her to a show. She will come around. It’s not your fault. You just have to realize that you threw a lot on her last night. And from the looks of it, you were both a little drunk,” Amber informed me.
“This was all from me,” I gestured, “But you really think she will come around?”
“I do know she will,” Amber began, “I know how much Caroline loves you. You just pretty much asked her to take in way too much at one time. And I’m sure she had been drinking, so I’m sure that didn’t help much. Luke, you just need to have faith that if you were meant to be then it will happen in its own time.”
“It’s really hard to have faith when you have watched the woman of your dreams close the door in your face twice,” I sighed.
“Luke! Seriously? You are going to let this be the truest test of your faith? What would your momma say?” Amber questioned me.
“Why shouldn’t I?” I asked her.
“There is a reason for everything under the sun. That’s what my momma always told me. I’m sure you remember her saying that once or twice. There is a reason Caroline was brought back into your life right now. You just have to have faith that everything will turn out for the best,” Amber told me.
“I guess you’re right. But I’m telling you watching her walk out that door and not going after her was one of the hardest things I have ever done,” I told Amber as Kelly started crying.
“Sounds like Kelly’s awake,” Amber said as I pulled my jeans on from last night.
“I’ll get her,” I said as I got up and walked into my bedroom to get my daughter.
“Daddy!” Kelly screamed with excitement as she saw me.
“That’s right. Daddy’s here,” I cooed at her as I picked her up and sat on my bed.
“Did I hear Kelly?” my sister asked as she walked through my bedroom door.
“I’ve got her,” I told Kelly as I turned towards her.
“I didn’t think you would be up this early,” Kelly said as she sat down next to me.
“I had a bad night. Caroline walked out on me again. Then I ended up getting drunk, stripping, falling asleep on the couch, and being woke up by Amber,” I explained to her.
“Wait, what? You did what?” my sister questioned me.
“You heard me Kel,” I informed me, “It was humiliating, but after I got some clothes on I think Amber really helped me with the whole Caroline thing. Oh, and by the way remind me to wash Little Kelly’s blanket.”
“I’m not even going to ask about the blanket, but Amber really helped?” Kelly curiously questioned me.
“Yes. Completely took me by surprise, but I really like having her around. It’s going to be nice to have someone around that you’ve known forever and can completely trust,” I told her.
“Well, I’ll let your talk with her be between the two of you. I’m going to go make some coffee. You want some?” Kelly asked.
“Please!” I almost begged as she exited my room.
“Daddy!” Little Kelly said as she snuggled into the crook of my neck, “Wuv you, Daddy!”
“I love you too, Kels,” I told my daughter as a single tear escaped my eye.
I just pulled her close and hugged her for a while. I sat her down on my bed while I found some clean clothes to put on. Kelly was sitting on my bed giggling playing peek-a-boo with herself. I took that time to change really quickly.
“Let’s go find something to eat,” I told her as I picked her up off the bed.
“Eat, eat!” Little Kelly said on an endless loop all the way to the kitchen.
“Here,” Kelly said as I sat down at the table handing me a cup of coffee.
“Thank you,” I told her as I took a big sip.
“Have you been crying?” my sister asked me.
“Yes. No. Well, kind of. Kel said she loved me,” I said.
“That’s just precious,” Amber said as she sat a bowl of oatmeal down on the table for Little Kelly.
“You realize I’m leaving here soon don’t you?” My sister asked as she took Little Kelly from my arms and lightly kissed her forehead.
“I know. I think Amber and I can handle this,” I told her.
“I’m going to be gone until morning too,” Amber said.
“Where are you going?” I questioned.
“I have a few things to take care of. I’ll be back by the time she gets up, but you have to learn to do it all by yourself while you’re here,” Amber enlightened me.
“I know. I think we’ll be okay,” I told them.
We enjoyed our coffee together and before I knew it my sister was off to the airport, but not before telling Little Kelly how much she loved her and giving her plenty of kisses. Amber took her and made sure she caught her flight. That left Little Kelly and I alone for the first time in days.
“Looks like it’s just me and you Kelly Grace,” I said as I turned on the TV.
It wasn’t very long and Kelly was sound asleep on the couch. I decided to take this time and work on some writing. I moved to the kitchen and started working. After a few hours I realized Kelly wasn’t awake yet so I went to check on her. She was covered in sweat and shivering. I began to panic. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to call Momma, but she didn’t answer. I tried Kelly, but she didn’t answer either. Then I tried Amber, but she didn’t answer. I threw my boots on, grabbed my coat, and started getting some warmer clothes on Little Kelly. In a matter of minutes we were on our way to my truck. I buckled her in her carseat and was off. I was a complete nervous wreck. I didn’t know what to do. I mean I knew I had to take her to the emergency room, but still. I couldn’t do this alone. I picked up my phone and called the one person who had been on my mind all day: Caroline.
“Luke,” Caroline said all cheery, “We were just talking about you.”
“Caroline, please come to Vanderbilt. I need you,” I begged her.
“I’m on my way,” Caroline’s voice turned serious in a flash, “Are you okay?”
“I think so. Just come, please,” I pleaded with her.
“I’m on my way,” Caroline said as the call was disconnected.
Minutes later I was pulling in the parking lot of Vanderbilt Medical Center. Caroline wasn’t there yet. There was no way she could have been. Kelly was starting to get fussy so I pulled her out of her carseat and waited for Caroline. I was rocking Kelly back and forth singing to her when Caroline tapped on the window.
“What’s going on?” Caroline asked as she opened the truck door.
“She’s burning up, but she’s shivering. I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” I told Caroline in a panic.
“Calm down, Luke,” Caroline said, “You’re not going to be any good for her if you are in panic-mode. Come on, let’s go in here.”
Caroline and I walked through the door, going straight to the registration desk. I gave them all of her information and in a matter of minutes we were sitting in a patient room.
“Breathe,” Caroline told me, “She’ll be okay.”
“I’m sorry I called you. I tried everyone else. I just couldn’t do this alone,” I apologized to her.
“Luke, it’s fine. You didn’t need to do this alone. Where is Kelly?” Caroline asked me.
“She flew back home this morning and Amber is getting some things taken care of,” I told her forgetting I hadn’t told her about Amber yet.
“Amber?” Caroline questioned.
“Yeah. You remember Amber. She’s Kelly’s nanny,” I informed her.
“Do you really think having an ex as your nanny is a good idea?” Caroline questioned my decision.
“I though the same thing at first, but Kelly, the sister, recommended her. It’s turning out to be great. I know I can trust her and she has been Kelly’s go-to babysitter for a while. We both agreed that it’s purely going to be a professional type relationship,” I explained to her.
“Daddy!” Kelly cried.
“It’s okay, baby. Daddy’s here,” I told my daughter as I picked her up.
“You’re doing great with her,” Caroline smiled as I sat on the bed with Kelly in my arms.
I just smiled at her as I started singing to her. Caroline sat down at the foot of the bed and watched us. After a few minutes Kelly sat up and looked at Caroline.
“Hey sweetie,” Caroline cooed at Kelly.
Immediately Kelly jumped into Caroline’s arms taking us both by surprise. Caroline rocked her until the doctor came in. Kelly had a fit when Caroline had to set her down so the doctor could check her out, but Caroline never left her side. The doctor said it was just a fever and to make sure she stays hydrated. She’s going to be fine. Caroline and I bundled Kelly up and headed back to my truck.
“Thank you for coming,” I told Caroline.
“You’re welcome,” she returned, “I’m glad you called me.”
“Let’s go,” I said as I tried to take Kelly from Caroline.
“Ouch! She’s got my neck!” Caroline shouted letting me know she was clinging to her neck.
“Come on babygirl,” I tried to convince my daughter with no avail.
“How about you ride with Daddy and I’ll spend the night with you tonight?” Caroline said to Kelly with a smile.
Kelly let go of her neck and went into her carseat with no problems, “Thank you,” I mouthed to her as she started to her own car.
“Looks like we’ll have company tonight, Kels. Can you say Caroline?” I asked my daughter.
“Carewine,” Kelly said trying her best.
“Close enough,” I smiled at my daughter as we pulled out of the parking lot with Caroline right behind us.
**Author's Note**
What did you think when Amber found Luke naked on the couch? Did you ever expect Amber to be the one who got through to Luke? Did you think Luke was going to go into full-blown panic when Kelly was sick? Do you think it was a good choice for him to call Caroline? What do you think of how Kelly took to Caroline? Is it a sign? How will the night go when they arrive at Luke's?