Late at night, when Diana felt just a little too lonely, she went out for a run. This night particularly, she started at a normal human pace, but when she made it to the woods she became a blur.
She pulled loads of air into her lungs and pushed the breath out violently, hating that it wasn't real, that she didn't have to. She could hate with everything in her, but the thing about Diana? She couldn't bring herself to regret.
Yes, she loathed herself for past failures and wrongdoings... but she never regretted it, she never regretted any of it. The killing was something she got used to, not that it was hard.
She liked to remind herself that she was eating animals just like she had when she was human, only slightly differently. It eased her conscience. However, it also helped that she never felt alone in her killing.
She was always able to say that there were people like her (other vampires), doing worse things. And then, she met Christopher. The then 22-year-old shifter, blinded at birth, had turned her whole life upside down.
She never completely understood how imprinting worked. She only assumed that it was, for wolves, the equivalent of a vampire wanting to drink their mate dry... if that mate happened to be even the slightest bit human.
Diana had stopped running a while ago, now she just walked. She tried laughing at the fact that, though they were together for 15 years, they had never gotten married. Her laugh, however, became a strangled cough.
The truth of it was, that even though she would've followed her dear Christopher to the end of time, she hated that marriage was never a priority for him. Diana couldn't exactly blame him though, they had forever and marriage was the last thought in either head.
Still, though, Diana loved him. Truly, and completely, she loved him with every bit of herself... every bit she had to offer. Unlike most of these tragedies, however, Christopher loved her too.
'As much as Romeo loved Juliet' he'd tell her, late at night when it was just the two of them. 'As much as the sun loves the moon' he would sigh into her hair as they watched the sun give its light to the moon. 'As much as the leaves need the tree,' he'd say, '-that my darling, is how much I need you.'
Diana shook herself, she hadn't realized she'd stopped walking. A twig snapped and Diana did nothing to greet the boy that wandered over to her.
"I thought you might be out for a run," Embry sighed.
Diana chuckled, "And what, dear boy, made you think that?" She looked over at him, a small smile dancing across her face.
"Paul."
Diana's smile dropped, just a bit, "What do you mean? What about him?"
"He can't stop thinking about you. He wants to see you, talk to you, he just doesn't know how. He's torn between loving who you are and hating what you are."
The two started walking, Diana was silent for a moment. She didn't know what to say.
"I mean, I am the enemy," she tried, chuckling. "The fact that I am his imprint has got to be a little disappointing, don't you think?"
Embry shook his head violently, "No. Not at all... well, not anymore that is. You're just... new territory, really."
Diana went quiet. In all honesty, she had wanted to see Paul, too. She just couldn't get past the fear that he might hate her... the fear that he would change things for her. She didn't want another mate, and she especially didn't want that mate to be a wolf.
"Tonight, while on patrol, he kept thinking he could smell your scent. He kept wondering if you were nearby, if he should go see you, then I smelt it too. I didn't confirm that with him, but I might still get my ass whooped later for coming to hang out with you when you're his imprint."
"Possessive much?" She asked, already knowing and understanding the answer. Embry scoffed.
"You think you're joking, wait till you guys get together..." Embry trailed off, "That is if you are getting together...?"
Diana sighed, she didn't even know if she could stomach the thought of being near him, let alone physically being near him... all the time, "I don't know..." she muttered.
They turned randomly, "Well, why not?" Embry asked, leading her to a small clearing. They sat down in the grass and Diana couldn't help but love the boy, here, at this moment, she had never needed a friend so much.
"I was imprinted on, years and years ago..." she paused. Embry just listened patiently waiting for her to continue.
"We were together for about 15 years, and then he was taken from me..."
Diana sucked in a breath, "I had to get on without him. That will forever be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do... I did it though. I learned how to get on with my life, I learned how to live again. But, he was my lifeline for so long. No matter how much time passes, I'm always gonna be hurt, I'm always gonna be a little bit broken. Right now, dating Paul, dating anyone for that matter, just doesn't seem possible," she paused, taking in a breath of forest air.
"To be honest, I'm torn. I was so convinced that I hated your kind, I didn't want to be friends with any of you... but you guys were immediately welcoming, it felt like I was meant to be here. I don't know if I want to see him and give in or if I'd rather just leave. I know it wouldn't be easy, but..."
"You can't leave. If Paul wouldn't stop you, I would." Embry interrupted. Diana smiled softly, she was wanted. That was the greatest feeling, being wanted.
"I would love to see him, I think... get to know him," she sighed. It did hurt, to be with him, but it hurt far worse to be without him.
Embry nodded, fighting the growing smirk on his face, "Well, I happen to know that he would love to see you, too."
Diana sighed, she felt relieved. Maybe, she truly just needed to talk about it... all of it. Embry nodded, relieved that his friend was relieved. Then he sighed.
"Surprisingly, it wasn't that big of a shock." He said, laying back and watching the sky.
"What wasn't?" Diana asked, situating herself to lay by his side.
"Finding out you were a vampire," he looked over at her, and she looked away, ashamed. "I wasn't really upset, we weren't exactly best friends then, and even if we were, I didn't expect you to tell me that kind of a secret."
Diana turned and looked at him, "I guess," she looked up at the sky, "- I just can't help feel guilty. Regardless of the level of our friendship, I hate lying. My whole life is a lie, to those who don't live it with me."
Embry laughed, "Well, you can't really explain it to those who aren't living it with you."
Diana laughed lightly, "I guess," then her smile turned to a frown, "- I just wish I didn't feel so alone. I mean, my brother moved on, found a family of his own... without me," She chuckled dryly, "My mate is dead, I haven't really got many friends... I am completely alone."
"Well, you've got me," Embry said. Diana didn't look at him, but he saw her smile. He was glad he could help, even in such a small way as making her smile.
"And you've also got Paul if you give him a chance."
Diana took comfort in that. She did have someone, someone who maybe wouldn't leave this time. Diana sighed in content and closed her eyes, "Remind me what it's like..." her voice was soft, conveying her everlasting restlessness.
Embry surveyed her features, "What what's like?"
"Sleeping."
Embry found the question just a touch on the weird side, then he realized that the girl hadn't slept in over a century, "Well," he paused. After all, how do you answer such an... interesting question?
"It's like, turning the lights off. It's slow-moving and gentle, your body relaxes and you don't have to try anymore. No more straining to lift yourself, no more talking... no more trying. Just calm and quiet, and stillness," Embry yawned, suddenly realizing how tired he was.
Diana was still, her eyes remained closed. To any normal human, she would have looked like she was sleeping, or dead if said human was able to tell that the girl wasn't breathing. Embry nodded in and out of sleep, he was torn between going home and staying with Diana, who seemed to have reached some level of peacefulness.
Diana noticed the slowing of her friend's heartbeat and opened her eyes, "C'mon Embry," she whispered, helping the sleepy boy up from the ground, "Let's get you home."
But, Embry was too far gone, and Diana didn't even struggle to hoist him over her shoulder. And began to follow the trail his scent left, it led her to a small house. She situated Embry on the porch swing and left the reservation. Her walk home went by quickly, and it was only 3 am when she had gotten back to the small household.
She traveled to her room and laid on her bed, closed her eyes, and repeated Embry's words over and over in her head, like a mantra. Diana smiled in content, this was the closest she had gotten to a good night's sleep in years.