"If we're going to do this, love, then you just lay back, okay? You don't have to lift a finger. Just let me do all the work."
"But I want to lift a finger. I want to do many things with my fingers-,"
"Shh, darling. This is your first time with a man. And not just with any man, with me. Let me show you what you've been missing."
He quirked a brow at me and although he looked like he wanted to argue, he simply smirked, holding up a hand in surrender. I sucked in a breath, trying hard not to show how nervous I was, which, if you couldn't tell, is very. As his hands fell on my waist, my fingers played lightly with the hem of his shirt. I wet my lips and began to slowly push it up, exposing the taunt abs beneath.
"Take your shirt off," I said, trying my best to sound commanding and sexy, but, if I'm being honest, it kind of came out a little squeaky. Thankfully, if West noticed, he didn't say anything, and complied. He sat up slightly, tugged his shirt over his head, and threw it to the ground. When he laid back down, the moon light that trickled in front the window beside us illuminated his now bare torso and my breath caught in my throat. His hands returned to my waist and his biceps pulsed with every move that he made. His abs were taunt against his porcelain skin, practically begging to be touched. No matter how many times I see West shirtless, it always throws me off. I can't help it. He's so much more muscular than he looks.
Timidly, I gave in to myself and reached out, gingerly running my fingers over his stomach. His skin felt like fire beneath my fingertips. I traced over the defined lines of his stomach, his chest, trying to take in every detail that I could. From the scar just below his ribs on his right side to the freckle on his left hip, I found myself utterly entranced, desperate to know every tiny detail of his body. It wasn't until West's hands covered my own, snapping me out of my trance, did I realize how badly my hands were shaking. My eyes instantly snapped up, only to be met with kind, gentle eyes.
"It's okay if you don't want to do this today, Liam," He whispered, giving my hands a light squeeze. Panic instantly started to stir inside me. He started to sit up. "We can wait, okay? I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to pressure you or anything-,"
"No!" I interrupted, pulling my hand away and shoving him back down. He blinked up at me and I shook my head quickly. I wet my lips. "No... No, I-I want to do this. I've been wanting to do this for so long, I- Please. Please, just sit back, and let me make you feel good."
West reached up, grabbing hold of my wrists, and pulled them apart. He sat up once more, his lips suddenly at my collar bone and his chest pressed against me. I shivered, his breath hot against my skin. The gentle tone in his voice was once again replaced with a lust filled one that made my legs feel week. "I want to make you feel good too."
Biting at my lip roughly, before I could get too swept away, I practically threw him back down onto the bed. Ignoring the pounding of my heart, I fell forward on top of him and began to litter his neck with kisses. His hands found my hips once more as he craned his neck for me, chuckling slightly. I nearly buckled when he squeezed me, just from pure excitement. I honestly can't believe that I'm even getting a chance like this. And so soon into the relationship! I can't afford to mess this up.
I dragged my bottom lip along his neck, making my way to his ear, before biting playfully at his lobe. He shivered beneath me. Deciding to get down to business, I trailed my hand down to his jeans, cupping his crotch. I felt a sudden rush of pride knowing that he was actually getting hard because of me, along with a wave of relief. Popping open the button of his jeans, I began to massage him through his underwear, which earned me a low moan that send all of my blood rushing to my crotch. I nearly jumped out of my skin when one of his hands started moving upwards, under my shirt. Almost immediately, I shot up. West peered up at me in surprise. Drawing in a deep breath, I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and tugged it over my head, tossing it in the same direction that West had thrown his.
He reached out, resting his hand on my stomach. I shivered at his cold touch but found myself instantly leaning into it. I dragged my eyes up to his but noticed that they were stuck on my body. All of the confidence that I been trying to build up before was suddenly thrown out of the window and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to just cover myself up as insecure thoughts began to run through my head.
Not only am I a tall guy, but I'm pretty muscular too. It's obvious, any way that you look at it that I'm a man. As his hand ran over my muscles, his other hand squeezed at my hip. My face felt like it was on fire and I was seconds away from ripping the curtains shut, grabbing a blanket, and insisting that if we were going to do anything at all, it would be with him handcuffed to the bed, blindfolded, and under the covers. You know, for extra security. Just to make sure that he couldn't see a thing. I was about to climb off of him when he whistled lowly. My head snapped up and I was met with a smirk.
"Geez, Liam, you're making me feel pretty insecure over here," He breathed, bringing his hand up to stop at my pecs. I was taken aback as I noticed a faint, pink blush on his cheeks. "What are you, some kind of Adonis? What's your secret?"
My heart swelled in my chest at that and I found a small smile tugging at my lips. Without thinking twice, I pressed my lips to his. Eagerly, he pushed up against me and I could feel him grinning against my lips. He moved his lips in sync with mine, almost like it was second nature. His hands began to wonder my body, making their way to the small of my back, and he pulled our bodies tightly together. I found myself melting against him once more as he began to take charge again. A soft moan escaped my lips as he gave me the friction that I had been craving, grinding our hips together.
I practically whimpered when one of his hands slid down to grab my ass. I wanted him to play with me there so bad that the second he even grabbed it; I nearly came in my pants. But as much as I wanted him to touch me, there was also another voice, deep in the back of my head, telling me that I needed to rock his world. I can't let him take the lead. I don't want him to get turned off.
Hesitantly, I trailed my hand down to his jeans, cupping his crotch and rubbing. I quickly unzipped his pants, massaging at his clothed cock. He moaned against my lips, his nails biting into my hips. Pulling away from his lips, I kissed down his jaw, to his neck, and made my way down his chest, until I got down to the waistband of his pants.
With shaking hands, I pushed his pants down, my face lighting up like a Christmas tree as his dick sprang up. I had felt it rubbing up against me through his pants but, again, just like the rest of him, I was surprised at how big and how hard he was. I glanced up at West, only to be met with a smirk. His kaleidoscope eyes glittered at me. Giving myself a quick pep-talk in my head, I drew in a deep breath and gripped his base tightly, taking him into my mouth.
I closed my lips tightly, bobbing my head up and down. West's head fell backwards, resting against the wall, and he moaned, making my stomach flip excitedly. I tried not to be in my head too much and tried to focus on things that would make him feel good. I pumped him in time with my sucking, swirling my tongue around the head. His head lolled forward, and he reached down, gently tangling his fingers into my hair.
"That's it, baby, don't stop," He breathed, and I couldn't resist sneaking a peak up at him. There he was, mouth parted, eyes clouded over with lust... looking down at me like nothing else in the world existed. My stomach flipped. I tried not to think about what was happening too much and just focus on making him feel good, simply because when I remember that I'm doing this to West, my brain seems to short circuit.
He tugged at my hair, giving me a light push to go deeper, which I happily did. He was obviously trying not to force me down so much and that only made me want to do more. I took him in, as far as I could, and I was rewarded with a low rumble from his chest. My nails bit crescents into his thighs as my excitement seemed to get the better of me. His hand fell from my hair to my shoulders and he gripped me tightly as deep, wanton moans poured from his mouth.
Hesitantly, I reached up, pressing my fingers against his plush lips. Thankfully, he took the hint and took my fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and coating them with spit. While he did that, with my other hand, I reached down, pushing my pants down the best that I could with one hand. When I felt that my fingers were slick enough, I pulled them out of his mouth and reached behind me, parting my cheeks. I started to push my fingers inside, attempting to prep myself. I winced slightly.
It's been a long time since I did something like this, so I was a lot tighter than I thought I'd be. I hadn't had a lot of free time lately and ever since I started hanging out with West, I hadn't really been looking for any other partners to do this kind of thing with. Being the determined guy that I am, however, I worked my fingers in further, despite the resistance, desperate to get myself ready for him.
"Hey, w-wait," West panted above me, giving my shoulder a squeeze. I peeked up at him and he sat up slightly, leaning against the wall. His eyes were focused on my ass. "I-I want to do that-,"
I took him in further into my mouth in an attempt to cut him off and distract him, using my other hand to stroke him in time with my mouth. Just the thought of him touching my ass made my face burn so much that I couldn't even look up at him. He hissed slightly, his fingertips digging into my shoulder.
"Liam, that's not fair," He huffed, sticking his lips out in a pout. He pinched at my cheek, attempting to get my attention. "Let me touch you too."
My face felt like it was on fire. You have no idea how much I want that, West. But not yet. I can't let you touch me yet. I can't risk it. Deciding that I was stretched enough, that I had to be, I pulled my fingers out and pulled away from his dick with a small pop.
"Next time, my love," I breathed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I sat up and shed the little bit of clothes that I had on, throwing them to the ground. West opened his mouth and started to argue with me, but I quickly rushed forward, kissing him roughly. Instantly, he melted against me and began moving his lips with my own. I nipped lightly at his bottom lip as I pulled away, a smirk on my face. "I told you to let me handle this, okay? So, you just relax."
"But, Liam, I don't want to just sit back and-,"
"Ah, ah, ah. Listen to teacher," I purred, giving him another small kiss. He pouted, his eyes glittering, and my heart instantly clenched as I was reminded of a sad puppy. Reluctantly, he let me have my way and didn't reply, so, I decided to go ahead and turn away from him, positioning myself so that I could ride him while still hiding my face and front. Sucking in a deep breath, I slowly began to lower myself down and suddenly, West was completely sitting up, his chest at my back.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just put it in like that," He started, shaking his head. I grit my teeth.
"Yes, I can. I'm fine, s-so just lay back."
"Liam, you seem to be extra stubborn tonight and I don't really understand why, but please, listen to me, okay?" He started gently, resting a hand on my shoulder. I huffed, shaking my head. He pressed his lips to my shoulder blade, slowly trailing up to my neck and causing me to shiver. "Will you at least turn around. Please? I want to see you."
I swallowed roughly, shaking my head as I lowered myself further down onto him. I ground my teeth together, squeezing my eyes shut. He's right. I can't just shove it in like that, especially when I'm this tight. I know that it's probably going to be hard and it's probably going to hurt but I have to do this. What if I don't get another chance? When I didn't answer, West reached up, catching my chin in his hand and tipped it towards him. He pressed his lips to my cheek.
"Please, Liam. Let's do this right," He breathed softly, giving my hip a squeeze with his other hand. My stomach jumped at that and chest felt incredibly tight. As he began to litter my jaw with kisses, I felt my heart begin to melt. I whimpered, unable to help myself, leaning into him.
I want to do this right too. That's why I'm trying so hard to keep control and make him feel good. I-If I can just make him focus on how good the sex is now then, maybe, someday, way, way down the line, I won't be so terrified of him touching my dick. I don't want to scare him away. But... I do want to see him too. Really, really badly.
As his hands gently started wondering my body and his lips began to trail across my shoulders, I found myself being ever so slightly swayed by him. I was slowly getting lost in him, all of my reservations and fears melting away as he touched me, pulling me closer and closer.
Which is why I nearly had a heart attack when the doorknob began to jiggle vigorously.
West instantly tensed, squeezing me so hard and fast that I'm amazed my eyes didn't pop out of my head like one of those old toys.
"West? West, are you in there? Why the hell is the door locked?" His mother called, knocking on the door now. West and I locked eyes for a moment before instantly springing into action. As quickly and quietly as I could, I jumped off his lap, grabbing one of the blankets from his bed, along with a pillow. As soon as I was off, West leapt to his feet, snagging a shirt off of the ground. He struggled to jerk on a paid of pajama pants that totally did not match his shirt and sprinted for the door. I rolled off of the bed, onto the floor, and after fumbling around for a moment, I found the other shirt, either mine or West's, and pulled it over my head. No time for pants. I swiftly covered myself with the blanket as West drew in a deep breath, pulling the door open as he attempted to hide his lower half.
"I was changing," He sputtered out, leaning against the door in what I assume is an attempt to seem calm and totally not suspicious at all. Between West and the door, I could see Claire, her arms crossed, in all of her cheetah print pajama pants glory. West swallowed roughly. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to see if you were home, you weren't answering my texts," She said, stifling a yawn. She shook her head. "I thought I heard ambulances outside, so I was getting kind of worried."
"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't even see that you texted me. I-I was going to let you know I was home, but I didn't want to wake you guys up," West answered, honestly sounding fairly guilty that he had made his mother worry. I couldn't help but smile at that. He's just such a sweetheart. He was so angry when we left the Clary's though, I'm not surprised that he didn't even notice his mother texting him.
"It's alright. I'm too tired to yell. I'm just glad that you're okay," She said with a wave of her hand. "Did you have fun at the Clary's? How did it go with Liam's mom?"
West hesitated, hooking a hand on the back of his neck. He peaked back at me over his shoulder.
"Not that great, actually," He started slowly, taking a step back and pushing the door open a bit more, allowing Claire and I to see each other. She blinked those big, chocolaty eyes slightly in surprise. West pursed his lips. "I told Liam that he could stay here again tonight. Is that okay?"
I threw up a hand. "Hi, Claire! It's lovely to see you. I'm sorry to intrude."
A small smile rose on her lips as she peered over West to see me, the mousy brown ringlets that she had thrown up into a bun falling forward slightly.
"Oh, darling, you never intrude! You stay as long as you like," She gushed, shaking her head. I grinned widely, waggling my brows at West, who smirked. She turned her attention back to West, furrowing her brows as her hands came to land on her hips. "West, Liam is a guest in our home, why the hell are you making him sleep on the floor?! I raised you better than that! You sleep on the floor! Let him sleep on the bed!"
"Yes, West, let me sleep on the bed," I teased, propping myself up on my elbow. I sent him a playful wink, which he rolled his eyes at.
"As you can see, we're both perfectly fine, so, you can totally go to bed now," He groaned, practically shoving Claire out the door. "Goodnight!"
She shook her head at him but took a step back so that he could close the door, calling back, "I mean it, West! He's a guest!"
"A guest, my ass," He muttered, shutting the door behind her. As soon as the door was closed, he promptly locked it again, and made his way back to the bed. He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. "You've practically been living here these days."
I laughed, reaching out for him to help me up. Beaming, he grabbed my hands and hoisted me to my feet. He knelt down, grabbing the pillow and blanket that I had been laying on and threw them back onto the bed. He glanced over at me.
"I don't know about you, but that kind of killed my boner."
I paused, looking him up and down. Then, I looked down at my own body, still, without pants.
"I can fix that."
West snorted, shaking his head. "I bet you can. Love the outfit, by the way."
"You like it? I think this might be my new look," I shrugged simply, giving him a spin. He grinned, reaching out and grabbing my hips, pulling me to him.
"It totally should be. It's a nice, easy, casual look. Perfect for summer."
"I was thinking the same thing," I said, trying my best to sound astonished. His eyes glittered at me as he chuckled, nodding. A smile twitched at my lips and I leaned forward, gently pressing my lips to his. I reached down, grabbing his hands resting on my hips, and slowly moved them down to cup my ass. I practically purred when he gave it a squeeze. "Plus, easy access."
He laughed lowly at that, shaking his head. "Do you really think that we should keep going after my mom nearly just busted us?"
I paused for a moment, pulling back slightly, before practically whispering a small, "Yes. Do you not want to?"
"Of course, I want to," He answered instantly, pressing his lips to mine. Much to my disappointment, he pulled his hands away from my butt and cupped my hands instead. "But, Liam... You were already so stiff before. You were so nervous, and I mean, after everything that happened today with your mom, I-I understand why you would be a little shaken up."
Holy shit. I forgot any of that even happened.
"I don't want to push you to do anything that you're not ready for," He said softly, running his thumbs over the back of my hands. My heart pounded in my chest and my stomach had wound into knots. He brought those kaleidoscope eyes up to look at me. "I shouldn't have asked you to do something like that after a day like today. I-I just wanted to show you how much I care about you and how important you are to me and I ended up rushing things. I'm sorry that I-,"
"Please don't say sorry," I interrupted, giving his hands a squeeze. I shook my head vigorously. "You didn't make me uncomfortable. Not by a longshot. I-I want to do this with you. I really, really want this. I-I can't even tell you... just how badly I want this. S-So, please... don't apologize."
He peered up at me, studying my face. After a moment, a smile played on his lips.
"How badly do you want it?"
I quirked a brow. "... Really badly."
"You really, really, really want it?"
"Yes."
"Really, really, really, really-,"
"Yes, you weirdo, what the hell is the matter with you?" I asked, unable to stop myself from laughing. He stared up at me, those eyes of his just making me swoon. He gripped my hands tightly.
"I just wanted to see you laugh," He admitted, bringing my hands up to his lips. My cheeks started heating up and my laughter ceased, purely out of bashfulness, which only seemed to delight him more. "We're going to get there at some point, Liam. But I really shouldn't have asked you to do this today, not with everything that just happened. Our first time shouldn't be on a day like today. It should be something special because you're special to me. And I want to be able to show you that."
My chest tightened. How does he do that? How does he manage to make me feel this way, without even trying? Part of me wanted to push the sex thing a little harder, simply because I really want to do it with him and I feel like if I just shove him a little more, he'll crack... but the other side of me just wants to hug him. He wants this to be special. He's told me that from the beginning. I was fine with it then and I'm honestly fine with it right now. I know how important this is, not just to him, but to me too. Finally, I managed to bring myself back from my thoughts, only to be met with West's colorful eyes staring back at me, waiting for my reply. Slowly, I nodded and allowed him to drag me back into his bed.
He wasted no time, sliding his arms around me and pulling me against his chest. He did it instantly, almost as though it was just instinct to hold me close to him at this point. I nuzzled against his chest, letting out a sigh of relief as we tangled our legs together. It's both incredibly hard and painful to think that not fifteen minutes ago, if Claire hadn't knocked on the door, West and I would have been banging like bunnies. I don't know if I want to cry about it or punch a wall. As West's fingertips began tracing small circles along my back, I felt my eyes begin to flutter closed.
You'd think that after the day that I've had, I would have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Or maybe you'd think that I'd be replaying everything that had happened today, over and over again in my head. Maybe I'd be thinking about the horrible things that my mother had said to me or the way that West stood up for me and put my mother in her place. Maybe I'd be thinking about how I was minutes away from having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, only to be interrupted and left with blue balls. One would certainly think that I have many things to dwell on and replay today, but I actually only have one thought in my head. I have one thing on my mind. Just one word, echoing through my brain, as loud as thunder and as clear as a bell.
FUCK.