Arriving at the seaside; Britt went somewhere to check on something, Sander first stop was the kitchen. The drive was exhausting and after a couple hours of sleep, he badly needed some coffee. The coffee maker was empty, there was no sign of food in the cabinets and drawers, nothing except bottled waters in the fridge. The others probably arrived late last night. He was still checking, when from the glass window, he saw Robbe coming from the beach. His stomatch started to churn, sweat gathering in his palm; the door opened.
"Hey?" Robbe looked puzzled, glancing at his patinum hair.
Sander looked him up and down. His hair was disarrayed; there were grain of sands on his face and neck, glittered by the light coming from outside. Sander had to look away for a second for he can feel heat started rising to his face. He didn't want Robbe to see all sort of thoughts that has just crossed his mind. Putting his clammy hands inside his jeans pockets, he leaned on the wall. His mind was in a jumble, what was it that I planned to say? He can not remember.
He blurted out, "Do you know where they keep the coffee?"
"No."
"Or just food in general?"
Robbe shook his head, "No.. have you checked—"
Pushed by nervousness, Sander cut him off, "Seriously, are you the Manager?" What? nothing to do, but keep going now..
Robbe was smiling in confusion now. He looks so cute, Sander thought.
He rambled on, "When I booked this room, I specifically asked for room service. Or is it too much to ask for eh some bacon and eggs or... or baked beans in tomato sauce.. in the morning?...Huh?"
Robbe looked more baffled, frowned, "Umm... uuh..."
Sander took out his phone and pretended to huff in annoyance, "Yeah... that will be zero star on booking..."
"Whhaat?" Robbe looked half angry now, "I am sorry, but who are you again?"
Sander can't help but laugh out loud, "Oh, your face! It's amazing.. Cmmon, we'll go and get some food." He took the key car on the table and went to the door, passing close to Robbe; he can smelled the salt and wind on him.
Robbe was saying, "But Amber said—"
He cut quickly, "Amber is still sleeping. Come on." Well, he hoped they were still sleeping. And Britt could come any second. He stopped walking, because Robbe hasn't moved at all. He probably thinks I am some lunatic.
Sander walked back and offered his hand, said softly, "Sander, btw.."
After a second, Robbe took his hand, "Robbe".
Sander can sense doubt in Robbe's voice. Sander smiled, gestured his head towards the car, "Vámonos". He kept walking, hoping Robbe was following. Halfway to the car, he heard Robbe's footsteps; he grinned.
*
It was only 15 minutes drive to the nearest supermarket. They didn't talk much- just weather and the beach- safe things to say. Sander was afraid he will say something weird again. Robbe didn't look as uncomfortable as Sander thought he would be, with a stranger; especially after his introduction. Okay, I will be calm, just be cool, casual. I can do that.
In the supermarket, Robbe went to the can foods section, and Sander went with the trolley to find the breads. He found them, took as many as he thought was enough for more than ten people. Robbe was checking the rows, when Sander went to find him.
Robbe walked to him, "Awesome, you found them."
"How many hotdogs does a person eat, three, four?"
"Three?" Robbe answered.
Sander started took the cans and counted silently, "Yaa.. okay.. one can for two, that will be ten and then.. five for snack," he put them in the trolley. Robbe was busy scanning them, one by one. Sander kept glancing at him, at his angular face; he has such a perfect nose. He wanted to touch his hair.
Half joking, half serious, Sander said, "You don't have to scan all of them."
Robbe just smiled. Probably best, Sander thought. They don't want to be caught shoplifting. Playing it cool, Sander stirred the trolley away.
"Oh, fuck."
"What?" Sander asked, looking back to Robbe holding his phone out.
"Amber just sent a list."
Taking the phone from Robbe, Sander said, "Let me see."
It's a long list. "Okay," he huffed. He scanned the list, mumbling; Still/ sparkling water.. bread.. "Okay", cheese.. lean chicken.. tomato.. carrots.. cucumber.. lettuce.. "Nope", what's with all these vegetables? rabbits and goats aren't we? pickle.. pickle? seriously? "Nope", yoghurt.. granola.. "Maybe."
Thinking of pickle and carrots and cucumber, he shuddered. He gave the phone back to Robbe. "Where are the chips and mayonnaise?"
Robbe got in front of him, "Woah, but Amber said—"
Sander cut himoff, half annoyed, "Well, Amber isn't here." This Amber person started to irritate him. He had not forgot what Birtt told him about her and the supposedly stupid boy who followed her around. Thinking about her, made him thought about Britt. And he realised, belately, he must sounded rude to Robbe. He just wanted this short time with him, just him.
He's still thinking about this when Robbe asked, "How do you know Amber by the way?" —at the same time the opening to Rebel Rebel by Bowie played from the supermarket speaker.
"Wait—" It was one of his favorite song from Bowie. He sighed in relief; joy radiated from his heart, the way he felt every time he heard it. He started to hum and beat his fingers along to the music.
Noticing Robbe was staring and rolling his eyes at him, he laughed lightly, "Bowie. Do you know David Bowie?"
"Uhmmm, yeahhh kinda," Robbe drawled while stepping on the gap over the wheel and holding with his hands on the shopping cart.
"Ah, as in not really?"
"No, I do."
He's a bad liar. Cute liar. Sander smiled, "Okay, name three of his songs". He saw Robbe licking his lips, ducking his head and smiling shyly.
"Uhmm, Space Cowboy? Isn't that one of their songs?"
Sander smirked and leaned in, "You mean Space Oddity?"
Robbe shrugged.
"But for real, he made such a great songs. Space Oddity, Life on Mars, Ziggy Stardust, Ashes to Ashes. I can keep going all day—" Sander stopped; checking Robbe's face, but he appeared to be listening seriously at him — "and Tin Machine, do you know that one?"
Biting his lower lip, Robbe said in a small voice, "No.."
"You know what? Bowie worked with the greatest stars out there. No, all the big names worked with him. And did you know that Bowie was also a mime?" Sanders started pouting his mouth and mime to make his point.
Robbe laughed, "You can mime!"
Sander put down his hand. "A singer who can mime, how crazy is that?"
"Insane," Robbe whispered.
Sander felt that Robbe was looking at him intensely and leaning his body further over the trolley towards him. A wave of excitement was building inside him, threatening to spill over. He looked at Robbe, "Hold on tight," and started to push the trolley and wheeled it around in circle. Robbe was laughing, hanging on to the side.
They were throwing stuff in the cart now, without bothering too much, laughing at nothing. At one point, Robbe got onto the top of the cart; standing. And then he almost lost his balance, but he just chuckling and grabbing on Sander's shoulders. His short touch burned through his jacket. Sander could heard the loud beating of his heart.
Robbe got down after that, hanging on to the front side. Sander started wheeling the trolley around and around in circle, all the while singing along to Rebel Rebel that still playing in the store. Robbe's wide smile filled his vision, the dimples on his cheek standing out. They are staring at each other and Sander wanted to memorize the look in Robbe's eyes. He has not felt this happy for a long time.
He stopped before it dizzying them out. Getting an idea, Sander pretended to scan Robbe's face, and said flirtingly, "Oh man, that's expensive." Robbe chuckled shyly; it was like a music to his ears.
Feeling wild, Sander pushed the trolley faster between the aisles and then step between the wheels. The air rushed around them and all that he can see was Robbe's bright face in front of him. He was half aware that Robbe was warning him, that he was losing control of the trolley, but the rush in his blood filling his ears. Suddenly there was a loud sound of impact, and Robbe was sitting on the floor among the boxes; looking confused. What the fuck did I just do?!
"Are you all right?" I have hurt him. Why have I never—
Robbe shrugged but he was chuckling away. Sander looked at the empty boxes and spilled bag of chips. I always do this. I could have hurt him, hurt him really bad. Guilt and shame enveloped him. He looked at Robbe's face. He was looking at him strangely now. Yes, he thinks I am crazy.
Sander picked up the chips, throwing them back into the boxes. Robbe was stacking the other boxes. When Robbe was standing close to him, Sander just can't have it anymore. He took the trolley away; whistling, shrugging off his emotion, he walked away. He could felt Robbe's eyes on his back.
They paid the items and silently carried them to the car. There was this tension, hanging in the air, that was never there when they were having fun in the store. When they were almost back at the resort, Sander looked at Robbe. He was looking out the window; he didn't look upset though. Sander took a breath.
"Are you really okay?" Sander ask cautiously.
Robbe turned to him,"Ya, it was mostly empty boxes so.."
"And chips, luckily."
Robbe laughed softly.
"I am sorry.. I got carried away." Sander looked at him, trying to read his mind.
Robbe smiled, "It's okay. We have fun right?"
Sander smiled back in relief and nodded his head.