The sound of a gun i have heard before.
It definitely wasnt the first time, but it may be the last.
Any normal human being would leave the room.
They would turn around runaway or go tell someone.
But I didn't.
I dont know why I didn't i just didn't.
It might have been because i knew this was never going to end.
There were only two ways it could end.
1: finn going to jail.
2: me dieing.
It didn't seem like he was going to jail anytime soon so why not just get it over with.
Nobody would miss me when I'm gone.
They would do an autopsy because knowing finn the gun isnt going to be what kills me.
He might strangle me or poison me.
The doctors would be able to tell that it wasnt the gun that killed me.
They might think i bled out but addison would push for an autopsy.
She would know that somehthing didn't add up.
They would check my blood. Check my body.
They would see all my scars.
They would see the brand new scars.
They would find out i have been taking a whole hell lot more of my medication then i need.
They will find everything out.
They might even think it was a suicide, only if finn was going to go to do all of that.
Once everyone finds all these thing out nobody will love me.
They would all be happy that I'm dead.
I might even offer to do it myself.
Although finn has been working a long time to kill me and still hasn't done it.
I'm not sure if that is on purpose or if he just doesnt know what he is doing.
Even if they didn't hate me i kept walking
I walk until i see him.
He has a small revolver in his hand.
You wouldn't even be able to see it unless you were looking for it.
Well i saw it.
He held it up to show me.
It was a nice gun.
It had gold running through it.
The handle had a little red.
I was going to remember this gun if it was the last thing i do.
Which it might be.
I wanted to know the exact thing that kills me.
Pills didn't work.
Beating didn't work.
Bleeding out surely didn't work.
So maybe the gun will.
If it does i want to know what it looks like.
"It's nice isnt it?" Finn asks me.
Before i answer i swallow a lump that was in my throat.
"Yeah." I quietly say.
"Speak up meredith i want to hear what you have to say." He tells me.
"Yeah." I say a little louder.
He gets mad. I'm not sure why but he does.
Quickly he runs over to me.
He grabs me by my throat and pins me on the wall.
He takes the hand that is holding the gun and puts it straight over my mouth.
He knew I wouldn't do anything.
Slowly he realeses me.
He runs to the door and looks out the bathroom.
"Well meredith now that i know we are truly alone I'm going to make this one terrible night. For you and your friends." He says in a low voice.
He keeps walking towards me and i tense up.
I know what he will do and I'm ready for it.
Swiftly he pulls his pants down.
He takes his shirt off followed by his boxers.
Next thing i know he is pulling my clothes off.
I'm completely bare. I have nothing on me. I'm exposed. I want to cover up.
I try to pull my hands over my body to cover myself.
That was something i knew I shouldn't do. He got mad at that.
He pins me against the wall once again.
With out warning he pushes himself into me.
It hurts.
All i can feel is pain.
I want to cry. I try so hard not to.
I knew nothing good would come out of it if i did.
I was right.
I didn't mean to but a tear slipped from my eye.
He saw it. He watched as the tear ran down my face.
He thrusted into me roughly.
I didn't want to do this.
I was cheating on derek.
I cried even more.
"Aww baby girl does this hurt?" He asks pushing further into me.
I couldn't say anything.
"Well if you aren't going to talk you should have a reason not to. Do you want a reason to not talk baby girl?" He asks in an evil tone.
I knew what he was saying and I didn't want it to happen.
Quicker he pulled out and pushed me down to my knees.
My knees slammed into the ground.
I quick sting ran through my body.
As soon as i was on my knees he shoved himself in my mouth.
I couldn't take it.
I needed to gag. I wanted to throw up.
I curled my toes and it took everything in me not to.
"Baby girl i have a game we can play. We can call it... can i finish before you're finished? Here is how we play, before you came in i loaded this gun. But it only has one bullet. I will spin the barrel and it will be completley random. If you make me cum i wont shoot you just yet. If you dont. Well then that would really suck because i have a lot planned for tonight. Oh and the part that is the best is, that I'm not going to do any work. You will have to do it all by yourself."
The truth was i really didn't want to do this. I would purposefully go slow and wait until he kills me.
That's what i was going to do.
So its what i did.
He spun the barrel and put it back in place. He cocked it and had it pointed straight to my face.
I may say that i was ready for it but I'm really not.
Derek is amazing.
We just started dating and i dont want to let him go.
Well i had to stop thinking.
I was going to die and that was fate.
Slowly i started bobbing my head.
I didn't speed up and I didn't slow down.
*click*
The first shot was taken.
Nothing happened. I was still here.
I kept my pace.
*click*
There it was again.
The second shot went off.
Still here. Well that's good.
*click*
The third shot.
Still nothing.
There were three rounds left.
I hadn't even realized it but my heart rate speed up.
So did my bobbing.
*click*
Number 4.
Two left.
I was going fast.
I could tell he was close but he didn't stop.
Instead he pulled him self out of my mouth, stood me up and penetrated my vagina again.
*click*
There it was.
One more shot and i would be dead.
At this point we were on the ground and he was on top.
He had taken over and kept thrusting into me.
Then i felt it. I could feel him cum. He never took the shot.
He cummed in me and i knew it.
I was happy.
There was no way for me to get out of this.
I did the only thing i could think of.
His eyes were closed and he had a light grip on the gun.
I dint even know what i was doing.
He was still in me.
I grabbed the gun.
*bang*