It is past ten at night, a ray of moonlight is sliding through the gap between the curtain in his bedroom window. His phone is still buzzing on and off every passing minute. Britt is nagging him again. He has been avoiding her for three days. Granted, he has a ton of homework this term. But he knows it's just an excuse. He is sick of pretending, keeping himself in check every second, trying not to upset her. It feels like walking on thin ice, the effort of keeping the balance is draining him. His eyes are jumping around from the ceiling to the haphazard mess on the desk and floor around his room. The walls are closing in again. Sander sits up in his bed, and reaches his phone. Ignoring messages from Britt, he taps on the location broadcasted in a street-art club he joins in. They are spray painting a garbage truck tonight. Sander grabs his jacket and bag, tiptoieng slowly toward the front door, so not to wake his mom up.
"Sander?" his mom muffled voice is calling from the bedroom.
"Hm, I am just going out to meet some friends mom. Don't wait up, I'll be home soon."
"Okay honey, remember to call if something happens, anything at all."
"Sure mom."
"And be careful."
Shrugging on his jacket, and finish tying up his boot laces, he crosses the hall, "I will."
"And don't stay out too late."
Can't promise that. Closing the front door, he say out loud, "Good bye mom, love you."
The place is a silent beehive. Kids are miling around the garbage truck, standing on ladders or put-up steps of boxes, marking the mettalic container with their own art, the smell of spray paint fills the night air. Other are conversing in low voices, some are standing on guard around the side area. They don't want to attract unnecesarry attention.
After saying hello to some friends, and spray paint a bit, he walks around, taking photos on his camera. He is looking at nothing in particular, when a boy and a dark hair girl pass by. The girl is Noor, he used to go the same school with her, she is also Britt's friend. She is cool, though Sander doesn't really know her. It's the boy who attracted his attention. He's wearing a mask like everyone, so Sander can't see his face clearly. He is lean and shorter than him, the brown jacket hugging his thin frame. The moon is full, and when he's climbing the stair, its silver light catches on his messy hazel hair. Sander catches his breath. He dimly hears a shutter click, and realise that he has taken a shot of him. A hand pull down the boy's mask, and lean in for a kiss. Of course he has a girlfriend, a pretty one at that. For a second, he almost forget Noor is there. The boy smiles and it goes straight to his heart. Something cluctches inside him, a smile form on his face, like a reply. In that moment, he just knows.
They leave not long after. Sander wants to kick himself in the face for not taking the opportunity to talk to the boy. He has a girlfriend, so what? They can still be friends. And then he remembers Britt. Britt always stay with him, and he loved her. Loved. He might not love her anymore, but she loves him. Okay, the normal version of him, the version she thinks is good for him. But she has stayed after knowing him, the others just left. And he can't go through that again. Guiltily, Sander checks her texts.
Sander, are you okay?
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Why are you ignoring me?
Why can't you text back?
What are you so busy about?
Please call me!!
And dozens of the same kinds. He sighs, slipping his phone into his pocket, rides his bike home. Maybe I should see her tomorrow after school.