TW: Police...? But don't worry, nobody gets caught, cuz p l o t p r o t e c t i o n. (don't try this irl please I don't wanna get blamed for it- if you do do it irl, don't blame it on me, that's all I beg of you-)
A/N Get ready.
Btw, sorry for all the timeskips, I just wanted to fit a lot in here and didn't really know how to without timeskips.
But, there will be Ranboo in this chapter, you just have to wait through the two timeskips.
Also, Covid ain't existing here cuz I just don't wanna deal with writing that alr ty-
<3
Your POV -.-
You and Wilbur had made pancakes, which were a success. Techno had come downstairs looking like he had actually slept for once, Tommy had come down with Tubbo following him, (he must have snuck in at night to stay up with Tommy, until the two pass out while watching movies) and Phil finally came out as well, looking energetic as ever.
Now Wilbur and Tommy were arguing, since Wilbur had said that Tommy was "sucking up to Dad" when he had agreed with Phil, Tubbo was sitting and scrolling through the options of movies on the TV, Techno was reading a book, Phil was cleaning the dishes, and you were looking over Techno's shoulder and reading the book with him.
"Techno, help me restrain this child please." Wilbur called over to Techno, who simply ignored him, like all twins do.
"IM NOT A FUCKING CHILD, WILBUR YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH" Tommy shot back, yelling as usual.
"I dunno, I mean you always act like a child." Wilbur said back calmly, leaning on the couch slightly and not really paying attention to the argument he was having, as he looked at the TV and commented about movies you could watch tonight.
"And I'm more mature than Tommy even though I'm younger than him." You muttered, half listening to the argument and deciding to say something to piss Tommy off even more.
"YOU ARE NOT MORE MATURE THAN ME, SERIOUSLY MAN-" Tommy yelled back at you, switching who his enemy was in the argument quickly.
"Calm down children." Techno said quietly, still heard by everyone though.
"Hey I'm not a child-" Wilbur looked over at Techno, adjusting his glasses slightly, as he was wearing them today.
"Two minutes." Techno shut his book, earning a scowl from you, and looked up at Wilbur. "Wait I didn't look at the page number-" He said after a pause, opening the book again and looking through it.
You laughed, Wilbur cracking a smile as well. Tommy got more infuriated since the argument he was having was completely forgotten, and Tubbo kept scrolling through movies mindlessly.
But, Phil was finished with washing the dishes and had an idea.
"How about we go to the store." He called out, putting away the last of the dishes into the cabinets.
"You sound like Peppa Pig's Dad, who is now dead because I killed him." Techno responded quickly, closing his book once again. "Finally found the page."
"Or Peppa Pog." You said, smiling. "Also Techno, I already killed all the animals in Peppa Pig a long time ago. Wait- Did you guys watch Teletubbies as a kid?"
"Of course we did Y/N, why else would we call Dream a homeless Teletubbie?" Wilbur asked, turning his head from looking at Phil to look at you.
"No I mean like seriously-" You said back, laughing.
"What's Space Jam?" Tubbo interrupted you, motioning towards the TV.
"I think it's a news station." Tommy looked at the TV, staring at the movie and answering Tubbo's question.
"No it's a Santa Claus tracker." Wilbur fake glared at Tommy, "correcting" him.
"Its a cartoon about Shrek." You inserted yourself in the conversation, not really caring what it was about by now.
"Its about how a kid was murdered by me, and it was an orphan, and now it's family line is gone." Techno stood up, setting the book down on the stool he was sitting on, and staring at the TV.
"In a video game." You added on, staring at the TV as well now.
"In a video game." He agreed, not saying anything else which made silence incase the room.
"Why? Why are my children like this? I want an actual answer not just laughter-" Phil sighed, glaring at all of you.
You started laughing, Techno doing the same and Wilbur doing the same, cutting Phil off.
"No but I'm actually wondering what Space Jam is-" Tubbo interrupted your laughter, only making you laugh more.
"It rob we can store the to go we if." Tommy asked, focus no longer on the movie and now on Phil, speaking backwards.
"Sure." Phil responded mindlessly, eyes widening as he realized what he had just agreed to. After years of Tommy doing this Phil had figured it out, but he always made mistakes like this, before comprehending what Tommy had said. "WAIT NO-"
"GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO-" Techno yelled, interrupting Phil once again, running out the door and grabbing the keys to the car.
You followed his lead, running to the car as well.
Wilbur swooped around Phil to grab his wallet and followed you two.
Tommy yelled in triumph while running out of the house, laughing.
And finally, Tubbo threw the remote down onto the couch, question long forgotten, and ran as fast as he could.
All of you gathered in the car, Techno getting into the drivers seat, you sitting in the seat next to him, Tommy and Tubbo sitting in the middle, and Wilbur somehow crawled into the back seat without having to put down the chairs.
The thing is, Phil is basically as chaotic as all of you, but he has taken on the Dad role.
So, when he wants to be chaotic he can be chaotic.
Very, very, chaotic.
Back inside Phil let out one sigh, and then walked calmly into the kitchen, grabbed his wallet and phone, and then walked back outside only to see Wilbur trying to get into the back seat, and struggling to.
He knew, after living with you all for quite a few months now, that if you guys tried to be chaotic and tried to get out of the house quick it would only end in it taking a million years.
So, as Wilbur finally got into the back seat, Phil walked into the car and made Tommy move over so he could sit in the backseat.
"Technoblade, you better not crash us into a fire hydrant and then yell "TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES" and then get out of the car and start a fire. Same to you Y/N." Phil said calmly, announcing his presence and making sure that he was being completely clear to Techno, as he said his full name.
"Fuck." Wil said quietly, realizing that your plan to escape hadn't worked.
"I'd yell Blood for the Blood God." You corrected Phil, turning around and staring at him, which made him laugh softly.
"Which also happens to be Techno." Phil responded, making you roll your eyes and turn back around, only to see Techno struggling to find the place to insert the key.
You grabbed the key out of Techno's hand and then shoved it into the key hole.
"I knew that, it's fine." Techno said, answering all of the questions that you were thinking.
"Well, if we die a random store that we're about to rob will be safe." You said nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders and then turning on the music and connecting your phone to it.
"So, for now, enjoy Peppa Pig."
And you played a Peppa Pig episode.
Timeskip -;-
"Aaaaand we arrive at our destination." Techno called out, shutting the car down and thankfully killing the Peppa Pig episode playing on the speakers.
"YOU'RE PLANING TO ROB A TARGET?" Phil cried out, laughing even harder than before.
"Yup." Wilbur responded, pulling out his ear buds and shoving his phone in his pocket, as well as the ear buds.
"GIVE ME THE FUCKING CAR AND LET ME DRIVE TO COSTCO-" Phil yelled, shoving himself out of the car and opening the door to the drivers seat.
By now he was half laughing and half confused, yet he still had to get groceries.
Techno got out of the car, everyone else following, and then Phil drove away, saying that he'd be back at 5 PM.
Techno had pulled up right in front of the Target, right in front of the doors, which you were pretty sure was either illegal or rude, but, an anarchist was driving.
Don't speak to the anarchist about rules and government.
"So... It's 12 AM right now... so..." Wilbur said quietly, a grin breaking it's way onto his face.
"Let's do this bitches." Tommy said, answering Wilbur's half question.
"I see a leaf." Tubbo pointed to a leaf blowing around on the ground.
"Orphan's gonna get murdered." Techno responded, smiling as he turned to look at the Target.
"I am extremely sleep deprived, BUT YEAH" You yelled out, laughing.
Your eyes caught onto the black and white color of a person's hair and your laughing only increased.
"RANBOO-" You screamed over to the tall boy. He jumped, turned around and looked at you, hung up whatever call he was on, and shoved his phone in his pocket.
"Y/N?" He asked, chuckling softly.
"Small world." You answered, grinning at him.
"Well when we're livin' in a decently small town yes-" Techno said from behind you, making you roll your eyes but a smile was still prominent on your face.
"You guys goin' into Target?" Ranboo asked, picking up Techno's accent. You realized that, when Ranboo was talking with someone he was familiar or comfortable with, he tended to pick up their accent if they had one, or the way they spoke.
So, when Ranboo was talking with, Phil for example, for a few hours on end he would start to speak like a british person slightly, without the accent though.
So when he was talking with Techno or something like that he tended to pick up his accent.
You thought it was absolutely amazing and great.
"Actually- Yes, yes we are. Do you wanna steal shit with us?" You asked, glaring at a small child holding onto their father as they walked into the store.
The child starred right back at you, dark brown eyes unnerving you slightly. Her eyes were almost black, dark and soulless. Her hair wasn't fully grown in yet but you could see that it was going to be a dark brown color, almost black as well, basically the same color as her eyes. They had a small sparkle in them, as if she was the pathway through a different world, as if many were watching through her eyes. The sparkle showed that she had an amazing imagination, but she wouldn't realize that for a long, long time.
"Y/N? Y/N." Ranboo's voice brought you out of your thoughts. You realized that you had looked at the child for too long now, and that she had disappeared in the store. Actually, she had just disappeared, same as her father.
They weren't in sight when you looked into the store at all, and nobody else seemed to notice them.
"Yeah?" You asked, looking up at Ranboo now.
"Alright, you pulled Y/N out of the world of Imagination, nice job Ranboo." Techno commented, taking a step forward.
Tubbo ran in front of Techno, standing in front of the Target doors dramatically.
"Welcome to Targe- AHH-" Tubbo screamed as Wilbur picked him up, walking into the Target.
Tommy snickered, sharing a knowing look with Ranboo, and the two walked in, following Wilbur.
Techno walked in before you, smiling softly as he followed his twin brother carrying his younger brother's best friend and a 6'6 multicolored boy.
You looked at the store, letting out a soft chuckle.
Then, you walked in.
Timeskip -;- brought to you by "oh fuck we have too many of these and hello."
As soon as you walked into the store pure chaos ensued.
Immediately Wilbur had started running as fast as he could through the store, still carrying Tubbo, Ranboo and Tommy following him.
Techno had mysteriously disappeared, rumours say that he is in the children's area... We can assume that he is either killing a Tyrant or stabbing children.
Either would make sense.
You had followed suite of Ranboo and quickly caught up to them, almost out of breath, and jumped onto Wilbur, got Tubbo out of his hold, and then the two of you fell to the ground.
It had hurt, but you were both fine.
Ranboo had picked up Tubbo now and was running towards the children section, where Techno was, and Tommy had ran towards a small area with fake grass that held a tent set.
He had crawled into it and declared it his home, like a little goblin, and you had just stood there, confused, and about to burst into laughter.
Wilbur had disappeared like that small child that held galaxies in her eyes, anyway, you had no idea where he was-
But, a voice called out through the whole store, on the intercom thing.
"REMEMBER KIDS, STEALING IS OK AS LONG AS YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT!"
Wilbur.
Fucking Wilbur. (Sally before both of those words, sorry, typo.)
I mean, look, you went by those rules as well, but at least you didn't fucking SAY IT, TO THE WHOLE STORE, WHEN YOU WERE IN A FUCKING TARGET-
"WILBUR SOOT-" Techno's voice called out through the store, loud.
Of course Wilbur was the one who had somehow gotten onto the intercom, said something into it, something true but stupid, and then somehow gotten away with it.
You saw Wilbur running towards you, his eyes sparking with pure joy and laughter.
"You're fucking kidding me-" You said softly, amusement laced in your voice.
"NO TECHNO WHY NOW THEY KNOW MY NAME GO GO GO-" Wilbur yelled back to Techno, who was now approaching you two, three technically but Tommy was still living in his tent house, with Tubbo running next to him and Ranboo fighting off a small child who was trying to climb onto his back.
The logic of that child was:
Tall man. Good for piggy back rides. Must. Get. On.
"HELP Y/N THERE IS A SMALL CHILD TRYING TO CLIMB ONTO ME-" Ranboo screamed, voice somehow carried across the whole of the store.
Pure chaos.
Which was, perfection.
Techno grabbed a shopping cart, which was filled with absolutely nothing except for air, and Tubbo climbed into it, looking determined.
Wilbur grabbed the tent that Tommy had claimed as his home, lifted it into the cart, somehow, and Tommy immediately stuck his head out, yelling curse words at Wilbur.
Techno looked at you, eyes sparkling with amusement and happiness.
Everybody's was at this point.
"Get in the cart, we have to save Ranboo from the small child. One already killed Dad before, except on Halloween, we can't let that happen to Ranboo. After all, he's only new to us." Techno said calmly to you. You nodded, climbing into the cart, Tubbo squeezed up in the front as the captain, Tommy wrapped up in his tent which now served as a prison for him, and you were in the middle, turning your head to look back at Wilbur and Techno, who were grabbing onto the handle of the shopping cart.
After years of living with each other and being considered twins they had learned how to make a shit ton of chaos, and how to work together productively in order to make that chaos.
So, as you looked behind you, a glint of mischief was placed neatly behind the two twins glasses, hands secured perfectly on the shopping cart, smiles softly beaming on their faces.
And, the cart lurched forwards.
You were surprised by the strategy they came up with quickly, which was; push the cart forwards as hard as you could, see it spin, run after it, repeat.
It was quite effective, one could even say too effective.
The 5 of you made your way through the store quickly, almost hitting several children and people, appearing in front of Ranboo in a matter of mere seconds.
He was fighting off the small child, who was still at his feet, surprisingly well.
"RANBOO, WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU, GET BEHIND THE CART AND LET TECHNO HANDLE THE REST." You called out to Ranboo, his head turning to look up at you.
A grin quickly washed away the concentrated look on his face. He obviously saw the chaos the five of you had managed to cause in a matter of seconds, as the intercom was yelling about stopping the five of you from going around the store.
Five would soon become six though.
Also, of course you were going to let the Blood God, orphan slayer, person who said "Officer I drop-kicked that child in self defence" handle the child trying to climb onto Ranboo, of course you were.
So, as the shopping cart neared Ranboo, it stopped abruptly.
Tubbo, who had been leaning over the front of the cart, was slung forwards.
You reacted quickly, grabbing onto Tubbo's legs and making sure he didn't fall out of the cart.
But, then there was Tommy.
He was still in the prison that his house had become and he was swung forwards as well from the sudden stop, plowing into you and almost making you swing forwards as well, but thank god you didn't.
Tubbo let out a breath of relief as he realized he wasn't dead, you let out a laugh, and Tommy let out a string of curse words.
Techno and Wilbur both laughed softly, Techno abandoning the shopping cart and running towards Ranboo.
He picked up the child from grabbing onto Ranboo's jeans and looked it straight in the eyes.
"Huh. Looks like a thousand galaxies are in the child's eyes." Techno commented and you looked closer at the child, realizing it was that child.
"Let it survive, I bet you ten bucks that it'll help us later in the future." You yelled at Techno, him nodding his head in agreement and then shoving the child on top of the shelf.
She would get down easily enough, the child that is.
Techno walked calmly towards the cart, Ranboo doing the same.
Ranboo looked at the three of you shoved into the cart and opened his mouth to speak, but was instead interrupted by a loud voice through the intercoms.
"WE'RE CALLING THE POLICE, EVERYONE CAN CALM DOWN."
You looked at Techno, a grin splitting onto your face. Wilbur let out a loud laugh, Tommy starting laughing, Tubbo smiled, and Ranboo looked terrified.
"Wait-" Ranboo said, sending a glance over at the door.
"NO TIME, GET INTO THE CART." You yelled back at him, grinning more than ever.
He nodded, then a confused look took up his face.
Then the sound of sirens came through the air and Ranboo's eyes widened.
"GET INTO THE CART-" Wilbur yelled this time, eyes dancing with flames of excitement.
They had done this before, you knew they had.
And you had done it on your own before.
So, Ranboo was the new one here, but you could pull more shit like this with him in the future.
Ranboo didn't ask any more questions, audibly, but his eyes were filled with questions and confusement.
But, he climbed into the cart, barely fitting in, and you pulled the tent off of Tommy, laughing as his face was finally visible.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS- MY HOUSE YOU BITCH-" Tommy spat out, words tumbling over words.
"No time, police came, we gotta go." You said back, cutting him off quickly.
"Wait- Isn't this Target right next to the police station?" Tubbo asked, turning around and looking at the three of you shoved into the cart.
"Fuck." You responded, realizing that was why the police had arrived that quickly.
"We really did choose the worst place to kill." Techno said, chuckling softly. "That makes sense, I mean we would do that. I mean you-" He added on quickly, realizing he had just insulted himself as well.
The sound of doors opening cut off all of you from talking, the police having arrived.
"Where-" One of the police officers started to ask, voice being projected all the way from the entrance.
"GO GO GO GO GO" Ranboo yelled, surprising most of you, but Wilbur and Techno immediately followed his orders. "Grab as much as you can, we have to cause more chaos."
You looked at Ranboo, a slightly surprised look on your face, but you realized he was right.
You should grab more stuff and bring it out of the store just to cause chaos.
"WHAT RANBOO SAID" You yelled out, Wilbur and Techno not caring as they just ran with the cart, speeding through the store.
Tommy immediately followed the orders, grabbing random shit from the passing aisles.
Tubbo grabbed a small bee plushie and a packet of those small skateboard things, putting them in his lap and doing nothing else.
You grabbed whatever the fuck you saw that interested you, Ranboo doing the same.
Then it started to rain.
Look, you were inside a store, so how the FUCK could it rain?
Well you see, there's a thing called Wilbur and a thing called buttons that say "Do not push on them."
Both don't fit well together, not at all.
Wilbur and Techno had ran past a red square placed on the wall with a plastic thing placed over it, covering the bright red button that would send off the water sprinklers that were placed on the ceiling to put out fires.
So, Wilbur somehow managed to open the red thing, press the red button that was SPECIFICALLY for when a fire happened, and the water sprinklers went off.
"WHY THE FUCK IS IT RAINING?" You yelled, turning your head to look up at the ceiling.
That was when it clicked.
"Oh. Those water things- Fuck what are they called?" You turned to look at Ranboo, whose arms were full with random stuff, but he just shrugged.
"Hey Tommy-" You started, honestly confused. You needed to know what those things were called now.
"Shut the fuck up I'm doing chaotic shit." Tommy cut you off, taking off more random things that were hanging on the aisles and then throwing it on the ground that was blurring by.
"Techno what do you call those things that spray water when you do what Wilbur just did? Or when there's a fire?" You asked to Techno, turning your head slightly to look at him.
He shrugged, then looked a bit confused.
"Wait what are those actually called-" He said, looking at you.
"FUCK- GET OUT AND RUN FOR IT" Wilbur yelled, suddenly letting go of the cart and running.
Tubbo jumped out of the cart quickly, clutching the two things he had picked off of the aisles and running after Wilbur at an insane speed.
Ranboo jumped out, throwing everything on the ground except for a small black and white bracelet and a pair of sunglasses. He followed Wilbur and Tubbo quickly, Techno doing the same.
"Fuck." You simply stated, seeing as the police were right in front of you.
"We would like to see-" They started, but were quickly cut off by both your and Tommy's screams.
Tommy threw all of the random shit he had been gathering up at them except for a small red bandana and you just yelled at them.
They were startled and buried in random stuff, not exactly buried but enough to make it hard to get out of, and Tommy jumped out of the cart.
You stared at the two police officers in front of you and did something very, very stupid, and definitely something without thinking.
"L." You smiled at them, saying the simple letter, and then jumping out of the cart and quickly running towards the others but first throwing all of the random junk you had picked up at them as well.
You decided to keep a small crown keychain for Techno, a white and green striped hat for Phil, a beanie for Wilbur, a small keychain that was Minecraft music discs for Tommy, a bee keychain for Tubbo, and a notebook that said "Memory Book" on it for Ranboo, since he was always forgetting things.
You could hear the police's shouts as they tried to get you to stop running, but you were having the time of your life, of course you wouldn't stop.
As you ran after the five boys in front of you the people shopping and the shop staff were just standing in shock.
Six chaotic children had just gone into their shop like they were any normal person and came out with police running after them.
I-
Anyways, as you made it outside you saw Tubbo and Tommy laughing next to each other, Ranboo staring in disbelief at what he had just done but a smile was planted on his face, and Techno and Wilbur absolutely dying next to each other from laughter while grinning.
It was perfect.
A van pulled up behind you, people walking around you with confused expressions, and Phil rolled down the window to your guyses car and stared at the Target.
"GET IN THE FUCKING CAR, WE'RE GOING ON A FIELD TRIP" Phil yelled at all of you, pulling you out of your daze. You ran into the car, Tubbo sitting next to Phil in the front, Ranboo, Tommy and you sitting in the middle, and of course the two twins, Wilbur and Techno, sitting in back.
Ranboo shut the door as he climbed in, laughing hard.
"Wait- Won't the police know where you guys live because of license plates?" Ranboo asked, grin faltering on his face for a second.
Wilbur laughed at his question and beckoned for Ranboo to look at him. Wilbur held up, about six as of now, license plates, each different.
"We just switch out our license plates every once in a while and we get new ones like... Every month." Wilbur said nonchalantly, Ranboo nodding slightly.
"That's smart." He responded, grin back on his face.
"It was my idea." Techno spoke up, looking up from cleaning his glasses.
"Ah." Ranboo said, turning back around to look out the window.
"You guys really did pull that off." Phil says, in disbelief for sure.
"I mean, if you have us in a store unsupervised we will cause chaos." Tubbo laughed, eyes sparkling slightly. "Also when its Tommy's birthday."
"WHAT THE FUCK- WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?" Tommy screamed, making everyone laugh.
"You seriously forgot when your birthday was?" Ranboo asked, amusement laced in his voice.
"Like you can say anything, memory boy." You scoffed back playfully, in which you tossed the small notebook towards the multicolored hair boy. "This is for you, here's your present Tommy, and then random gifts for the rest of you."
You passed each gift towards each person, quickly realizing something.
"Wait- Ok so we all stole some things, but why aren't the police chasing after us?" You said quickly, words barely understandable.
"They've probably figured out by now that if they do try to chase after us they're just goin to fail and waste their time." Techno said, answering your question with the most probable answer.
"Makes sense-" Tubbo responded to Techno, only to be cut off by Tommy.
"AHHHHHH- WE HAVE A FUCKING TEST TOMORROW AND I HAVEN'T STUDIED-"
A/n Hello! I'm back with another chapter and it is currently 1:30 at night for me. I've been writing on my tablet and will have to suffer more than before because my parents have now taken away my phone at night, foe the whole family. So, p a I n. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and of course,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG MAN TOMMY YOUR STILL A CHILD THOUGH
Word Count: 4690