Chapter 7:
Pushing boundaries
YEEUN
I'M A SUPER HOT CALL ME FUNKY WINKY BOY (THAT'S ME)
YEAH, MOVE YOUR BODY, YEAH!
I am screaming my lungs out as I finally put up the last Pentagon poster that I have in my new room. I have an afternoon shift today, so I have taken the morning liberty to organize my new bedroom. Rieun never allowed me to put up posters of my favorite K-Pop groups. He said that he would rather sleep in the couch than have his friends see K-Pop boys and girls in our shared bedroom whenever they'd come over.
I've been trying to figure out where to assemble the bed that Seungyeon impulsively bought out of stress, according to herself, when someone pulls down my headphones. The music fades away replaced by Seunghee's frustrated voice. "YEEUN-AH!"
"What? You scared me." I say, having my heart legit beating fast.
"I'm trying to write! And you've been screaming your lungs out for more than fifteen minutes to the point that I can't type anything but the lyrics to the songs that you're singing!"
I chuckle, grinning sheepishly. "Oop, sorry, eonni. I wasn't allowed to even sing this loud at home. Rieun doesn't like it."
"Who's older? You or Rieun? Why are you letting him boss you around? Anyway, just keep it low."
"I'm only on the fourth song of the album..."
"Jang Yeeun!"
"I'll zip my mouth, promise!"
"I would be grateful." She says dramatically before walking out of my room. I giggle as she disappears. I put my headphones back on and tried not to sing.
After yesterday, I'm such in a good mood. For the first time in a long time, I'm excited to go to work too.
* * *
SEUNGYEON
I come home after having a meeting with the legal team that my company finally got for me. CEO Ji Myeong Sun must have felt guilty by my outburst. Even though they have told the public that they're investigating this case, it's only now that they really started it. I don't know which about the things I said finally pushed Ji Myeong-sun to take action.
Seunghee runs past me in a hurry. Her hair long hair is still slightly wet. She puts on her shoes, greeting me. "Hi, Seungyeon-ah. Bye, Seungyeon-ah."
"Where are you going?"
"Work. I almost forgot I have to meet with a writer from Thailand today. See you later!"
"Okay, good luck... if you need it." I say but she already shut the door.
I walk over to the couch and sit down. Yeeun must have gone to work too or I would have heard music from her room. She has finally moved in her things last night with the help of Rieun and she's been blasting K-Pop songs until 10PM and starts again this morning at 10AM before I left.
The apartment is still a mess. Seunghee hasn't even properly moved in. I get up and turn Yeeun's door knob. "This girl doesn't lock it." I mutter before opening the door just to see how she's been settling in. And wow. She's worked a lot faster than I expected. I still have blank walls in my room but she has put at least three K-Pop posters and two motivational quotes. Her bed is made too and she has put up a framed picture of us three on her side table along with her family's picture.
The doorbell rings just as I'm closing the door. I hurry to see who it is and I'm kinda surprised to see Yeeun's mom so soon.
"Auntie, hello!" I say opening the door with a smile. "How have you been? It's been a long time."
"Oh, Seungyeonie? Aigoo, I've been seeing you on TV more these days. You're so pretty even in person." She says, patting my arm.
"Thank you! You don't seem to age too, auntie." I say, letting her inside. Her eyes immediately scan the area. "I'm sorry. The place is still a little messy. We haven't had much time to settle in."
She waves her hand in dismissal. "No, it's okay. I know you and Seunghee must be so busy. Yeeun currently has a part time job so I should tell her to do more."
I chuckle. "Yeeun just fixed her bedroom. Ah, you know she's at work right now, right auntie?"
She nods. "Yeah, that's why I came." She says. I help her carry the two bags of food she brought. We put them on the counter in the kitchen.
"Auntie, you really don't want Yeeunie to starve." I tell her with a smile.
She smiles, unwrapping the food in containers. "It's for the three of you. You won't have time to cook and have a proper meal. If I know, you girls would depend on food deliveries."
My stomach growls at the smell of the food she just opened. Right, I haven't eaten anything since this morning and it's around 3 PM now.
Yeeun's mom obviously hears it and smiles up at me. "See, you haven't eaten." She says.
I smile sheepishly. "I almost forgot..."
Yeeun's mom immediately makes rice with the rice cooker and sets a meal for me. I offer to help but she tells me to just sit down, so I just tell her about the story of how Yeeun, Seunghee and I have decided to move in together. I also show Yeeun's room to her and she sits on her bed for a while, looking around without saying anything.
Once the rice is ready, she fills my bowl. "Auntie! I missed your cooking!" I exclaim, forgetting about my strict diet and just stuff my mouth with a home cooked food I haven't had in a while. "I can't believe how lucky Jang Yeeun is to have you. She eats this everyday of her life."
She smiles as she watches me fondly. "Eat a lot, Seungyeonie."
"Thanks for the food."
Yeeun's mom finally seems to say what she's been wanting to say to me. "I'm sorry if my Yeeun is lacking. I know she wouldn't be able to help much with your bills here but she really looked like she wants to live with you and Seunghee. I just couldn't say no."
I swallow, about to speak when she says, "I'll help out with the expenses but can you not tell Yeeun?"
"Auntie," I finally say, recovering from my full mouth. "No, don't worry about it. Yeeunie is like a sister to us. We can't live without her."
She smiles at that. "Still..." She says, "I know Yeeun is lucky to have you and Seunghee, butㅡ"
"No, I just can't accept the money. Especially behind Yeeun's back. I'm sorry." I say softly.
She sighs but then smiles again warmly. "Then, can I at least bring you girls food from time to time?"
I nod quickly. "Of course!"
We both laugh. Later, she says, "Yeeun has gone through so much because I'm a mother who's lacking a lot."
I stop chewing.
"On top of that, I know something happened to her last year but she won't tell anyone about it. Rieun has told me several times that she's always getting these nightmares." She looks at me and asks, "Perhaps, did she tell you anything?"
I shake my head slowly. "No, Yeeun didn't mention anything bad that happened to her last year. We just know that she quit her job because she said she couldn't stand her boss." I put my spoon down. "I had no idea Yeeun is getting nightmares."
"She went through that job interview so many times. She couldn't stop talking about how she wanted to work in that company. I don't know. I have this feeling that Yeeun wouldn't just quit like that because she couldn't stand her boss." She says and looks at me. "Do you think I'm overthinking?"
"No, you're her mom. You know your daughter better than anyone else." I say to reassure her but I can't help thinking about my own parents who know nothing about me. Not really.
I hold Yeeun's mom's hands, wishing my mom was more like her. "Auntie," But I guess our luck in life could only go so far. "I'll talk to Yeeun. We'll look out for her, so don't worry so much."
Yeeun's mom looks like she's about to cry. "Thank you, Seungyeon-ah."
* * *
SEUNGHEE
Oh Seunghee, where are you? Come home right this instant. Are you trying to escape us?
Someone would read that text message and think it's from a loan shark instead of my mom. I shake my head before closing the inbox and instead, messaging the writer from Thailand who's scheduled to meet me in the company at half past three and I'm already five minutes late but she's still not here.
Seunghee: Hello, are you on your way?
I sit back in the lobby when I didn't get a reply.
Kang Haneul: Oh Seunghee, come to my office after your meeting.
Seunghee: Ok.
I frown, pocketing my phone.
Finally, a foreigner-looking girl with long blonde hair walks up to me. I straighten my posture. She's wearing a white suit and a bright pink top inside.
"Is she a writer or an actress?" I mutter to myself as she approaches me with a smile.
"Sawadika!" I have googled that hello in Thai. "I'm the writer for What Planet Are You From. Oh Seunghee. You must be Chonnasorn Sajakul." I introduce myself with difficulty in English.
But Chonnasorn smiles charmingly at me and speaks fluent Korean. "Eonni, you don't need to struggle. I'm fluent in Korean." She says automatically dropping formalities.
I let it slide because she's not Korean.
Honestly, I've been thinking about quitting. What if Kang Haneul is right? What if we're both wrong and the talent that I thought I have really isn't here at all? Still, I've had to meet Chonnasorn. She has come a long way. She deserves a proper heads up about this.
She sits across from me, putting her Christuan Dior hand bag on the table. "Eonni," she says. How does she even know if I'm older than her? We look about the same age. "I've read the first draft of What Planet Are You From." She sighs, placing her hand to her chest. "Fantastic, eonni. I really love it. I'm not even kidding. The lives of the girls in there? So relatable. We're bringing awareness to so many things too. I'm really excited to work on this with you, eonni. I hope I could be a great help."
I stare at her for a moment. How am I supposed to tell her that I'm quitting now? And this is the first time someone who read my first draft actually showered me with praises.
"Thank you, Chonnasorn-ssi."
"Call me Sorn."
"Ah, Sorn... anyway, how are you settling in the country?"
"I arrived to my hotel three hours ago and I'm supposed to arrive on time but I got lost on the way here. I wanted to take the bus to have more real life reference for the character that I'm going to help you write with."
"Will you be staying in a hotel for the whole time? This project might take a while."
"No, that manㅡKang Haneul? He said he'll find me a place to stay."
I nod. "That's great."
Sorn smiles at me. She's such a bright person. I wish I have her energy. "But eonni, I hope we can be friends in the process. I know no one else in South Korea."
* * *
Kang Haneul's office is among the other producers. I recognize him even if his back is turned on me. A few producers who recognize me greet me quietly because Haneul is on the phone.
"SO, WHY WOULD YOU LEAK THE INFORMATION TO THE MEDIA?" He yells. I almost jump. I shake my head as he massages his temple. "The writer is just on her first draft. The story is still lacking a lot. The casting hasn't even been confirmed. It's just a list of potential actors we plan to get. This project isn't even on fifty percent yet..." He says, calming down.
I fish my phone out of my pocket and quickly go to Naver. Producer of To The Sky to come back with a new drama What Planet Are You From. Here are the actors in-talks...
No, no. I feel like I lose strength on my knees. I sit down on the chair in front of Haneul's desk. Upon hearing me, he turns around and finally sees me. I'm clutching the resignation letter in my hand.
He sighs. "I have to go. I have a meeting." He says on his phone but dials another number. "Send the new assistant producer to my office once he arrives, thank you."
Finally, Kang Haneul turns to me. "So, you probably heard that."
"I think your whole department heard that."
Haneul turns to look at everyone else. Some are looking this way, some continue with their work.
"How's the meeting with Chonnasorn?"
"Why is the project leaked to the media?"
"The management team thinks it's good to cover some publicity."
"But I-" I'm quitting.
"Haneul-ssi, the new assistant producer is here." A woman's voice behind us says.
"Hello! I'm the new assistant producer, Cha Hyun Jin."
I freeze.
Kang Haneul smiles a little at him. "Oh, Hyunjin-ssi, welcome. Your desk is right over there. Let's talk later. Ah, by the way, this is the writer of To The Sky and What Planet Are You From, Oh Seunghee."
When I don't move, Haneul widens his eyes at me and gives me the what-the-heck-are-you-doing kind of look.
I get up, internally agitated as I turn to Cha Hyun Jin who doesn't seem as surprised as I am. "Hello, I'm Oh Seunghee." I say, not really trying to pretend that we don't know each other. I'm just not sure how to act, so I added, "But we already know each other."
I'm really tired. I need some time alone.
"Seunghee-" Hyunjin calls out when I turn to Haneul.
"I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well. Can we continue this some other time?"
"But-"
"Thank you."
I walk out of the office in a hurry without realizing I've dropped my resignation letter.
* * *
RESIGNATION LETTER BY OH SEUNG HEE
Haneul picks up the crumpled envelope and opens it. The office is almost empty. There's barely anyone left working overtime. He sits back on his chair and the sunset's colors glow against Oh Seunghee's handwriting.
To Kang Haneul,
I thought a lot about what you said for the past few days. Maybe I really don't have what it takes yet to write for a major drama like this. I think 'To The Sky' was accepted the way it was because nobody thought anyone would care about it, but 'What Planet Are You From' is being dissected in ways I didn't think possible.
I know this must be how it really is and I'm not saying that I don't have the will to put up with the adjustments. It's just that I think taking my craft to the next level is not something I'm ready for yet. I don't think I can write under this much pressure yet, therefore, I am pulling myself out from this project while it's early.
I deeply apologize for all the inconvenience that I've caused.
Oh Seunghee
* * *
YEEUN
“Hmmm! Smells good. Seungyeon eonni, are you cooking?” I ask upon arriving at the door.
“Your mom dropped by and brought food.”
“Oh! Mom didn't tell me.” I say, walking over to the kitchen. “I'm starving.”
“Eat.” She says, preparing a meal for me.
“Oooh, eonni, what's with you?” I ask, watching her take care of my dinner.
Seungyeon sighs when she's done, sits across from me as I eat.
“What?” I ask again, chewing.
“Are you okay?”
“What? Why suddenly?”
“Yeeun-ah, nothing bad happened to you last year, right?” She tries to catch my eyes but I look down on my food.
“Psh, did mom assume that? I told you all I just couldn't stand my boss.” But even in my own voice with my own ears, I could hear my lie.
Seungyeon is quiet for a while. She heats up water in the boiler and makes some chamomile tea. “Drink this before you sleep.”
I don't say anything because I feel like I might cry. I wonder who between mom and Seunghee told her that I'm getting nightmares in my sleep.
Ever since we were in high school, I always thought that I'm the lesser friend in our trio. It's not that Seunghee and Seungyeon didn't treat me well. I don't think I'd be here now if they didn't. But they've been friends even before I came to the picture and I'm just a lot younger than them.
It's crazy because I'm in my mid-twenties and they're now in their late-twenties and sometimes insecurity still hits me about our friendship. It's not them. It's just me. It's the way I doubt everything. It's the way I doubt someone would ever really care about me the way I care about them.
“Eonni,” I call out to her as she's turning her back on meㅡbecause that's her and Seunghee. We know each other so well that we don't have to force some things out in the open because we all know we'll show our hand when we're ready.
Seungyeon stops and turns to me.
I grin at her. “Can we open that bottle of wine you have among your bottles of olive oil?”
All I have to do is break through the boundaries that I set for myself. Surely, the world isn't going to turn upside down if I open myself up a little to it?
Seungyeon snorts and makes a bee line back to the kitchen. “I was planning to open that up soon anyway.”
Maybe it's not that I'm the lesser friend. Rather, I'm the listener in our trio because I'd rather keep my problems to myself while also providing comfort to my friends. I think being the listener in your friend group can make you feel so conflicted sometimes. It's so huge that you're this someone they trust so much with the good and the bad. Sometimes you don't even need to say anything because being there listening can give them enough comfort that they need. But it can also make you feel small sometimes, I think. Being the listener makes you wonder if they'd be doing the same thing to you if you're the one at the other end of the line and most often, your mind tells you that they won'tㅡthat nobody cares about the little problems taking up a galaxy in your head before you sleep at night. To heck with anxiety, right?
But that's anxiety for you. It gets the screws in your head turning and turning even for the little things that you shouldn't even worry aboutㅡlike simply talking to a friend.
✨ ✨ ✨
a/n: sorry for the slow update. I don't have a lot of time to write lately but I'm trying🖤
I heard CLC's contract is expiring next year. What are your thoughts about it guys? Lemme know.
Imo, I love these girls so much but I'd rather not have them renew with Cube or Cube renew with them. I want to see CLC grow and be able to showcase their full potential. And that is not just happening with Cube. I could really see Sorn packing her bags as soon as it's all over. I mean, like she should.