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His wandering eyes made me nervous, as I stood right next to the spot for the bride to be, and as Leah traipsed down the aisle throwing her flowers, and the music started playing everyone rose in their seats.
The in tune melody reminded me of my own wedding, the second one. It was the happiest day of my life, and I couldn't have felt more special.
It was just me and him,like it's always been. And here I was back, with my sister, and a baby on the way. Well a baby, no one knew about. The music as it advanced and the large doors opened and I saw Avery walking through the doors. She was beautiful, as Alison and Clay held her opposite arms. I could tell it was obvious that Alison and Clay, were trying to hold back their tears.
Her smile was radiant, and I looked to my left, and I saw Tyler holding back his own tears. It was a monumental moment, as the world shifted and all eyes were on them.
She walked graciously, with a smile beaded on her face. As she reached the altar, Clay and Alison kissed her off and Tyler extended an arm to her. She walked up the stairs and I had seen it in her eyes, the love she had for him was breathtaking.
He lifted her veil, she so proudly showed off. His eyes wandered to her smile, and focused on her features. I knew they felt just how did, like it was just them in this big venue.
"Everyone may be seated", the priest said and everyone took their seats.
The bride and groom were lost in each other's eyes throughout the whole ceremony, just as it should be.
As their vows came around, I was a weeping mess. Not a single person in the audience wasn't trying to hold back tears as he spoke wonderfully about her and vice versa. They shared a love, like no other. It was as if from the first day they met they always knew they were meant to be together.
That's the special love that couples find, and discover within each other. But remembering knowing that she/he/they was going to be your happily ever after no matter what is priceless.
"Avery Clemente, do you take Tyler to be your lawfully wedded husband, promising to love him, comfort, honor, respect, and care for him for the rest of your life?", the priest asked her as a big and bright smile formed on her face. I saw it the night after we almost drove to California, she knew that for her it would always be him.
"I do", she said without hesitation, her smile was illuminated and her face glowed, as if this was the happiest moment she could be in.
The priest turned to Tyler, who didn't even move to look at the priest, but kept his eyes lost in Avery's.
"Tyler Wood, do you take Avery to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love her, comfort, honor, respect, and care for her for the rest of your life?", he asked Tyler. Tyler didn't move his eyes off of hers as he opened to say the words that would bind them forever.
"I do", he said and Avery lunged in for a kiss, before the priest could say a word, they were already madly taken away.
"You beat me to it, but you may now kiss your wife, congratulations", he said and everyone rose from their seats and clapped madly. Avery and Tyler finally separated from each other as the line procession went down the list and Caroline went with Alec and then I slowly stepped down the stairs and I saw Nolan reaching for my hand.
I grabbed for his hand, and it was as if it electrified me on the spot. He smiled at me as I wanted to tell him, I knew I needed to.
He kissed my hand as we walked out of the venue, away from everyone's eyes. Alec and Caroline were sitting waiting for Avery to come out.
I pulled Nolan towards me, as he followed me blindly.
"I missed you", I said as he guided me into one of the dressing rooms.
His lips attached to mine as I felt like a family. Finally we had everything I could've possibly asked for. And that's when a tear came rolling down my face and Nolan felt it as he wiped it away.
"Baby, what's wrong?", he asked wiping away the tears and I didn't know how to explain that feeling I felt so deeply. I couldn't tell him just yet, I didn't want to get his hopes up. If we lost another baby, I would be broken but I know how to pick myself up, but Nolan the last one shattered him. He was too busy worrying about me and our fights that he never had time to process this loss.
"I- I just feel so happy, and safe and while I was standing up there I remembered our wedding, and how it felt like w-we were the only ones ther-there and that feeling is so impor-important", I began saying as I stumbled through my words and my tears. He hugged me against his suit jacket, as he wiped my tears away with his hands.
"I know", he calmed me and embraced me into his arms. I took a seat on the chair as he leaned down to my level.
"Promise me were still like this, when we're older with our little grandkids running around", I asked him and he nodded his head and kissed my head, softly.
He promised, as I wrapped my pinky around his, and I knew I didn't want to break what we had. Losing a baby would destroy us, I just want to make sure it's true.
I knew my excuse in my mind was just a way of pushing it off, till I had grown like a balloon and he would obviously know.
"Let's go congratulate them", he said as he stood up and extended his hand to me, I took it squeezing it and just feeling someone near me. He pulled me up, and we walked out of the door as I saw Avery as happy as she can be.
"Congratulations", I said running to her and she wrapped her arms around me. I wiped my falling tears and smiled at her happy face.
"Thank you", she said kissing my cheek and I saw just how happy Tyler and her were. I hugged him next as he was holding back his tears as well.
The reception dinner was phenomenal so far, the music was just the right volume, pitch and the performer had the perfect voice.
The dinner was served straight after Avery and Tyler came into the galavant ballroom, decked with the finest ribbon and a large diamond chandelier hanging from the highest bough.
People of very high posh and high status, were there. Avery's friends and Tyler's were clashing. Avery had invited her fellow models, designers, photographers and stylists, while Tyler had invited seemingly every business tycoon in the world of billionaires and millionaires.
Who knew after heartbreak, fear, loss and so much more that we would all be happy. I smiled at Alec and Caroline talking in the corner and even they seemed to have found each other, in the mess of things.
Tyler and Avery set out on the dance floor, holding onto themselves dearly. Their eyes were locked into each other's and it felt beautiful to watch this act of love. I knew the feeling, as I squeezed Nolan's hand, the feeling that you and your partner are the only ones in the room.
Clay and Alison intervened, sweeping in to dance with Tyler and Avery. Tyler was always so reserved about himself but he spoke mountains of feelings about Avery. Tyler recently had told me about his parents, and he explained the story of how Nolan wondered whose grave I would lay by. He understood it more than anyone ever could, because it was something he went through everyday.
Soon all the couples were invited on to the floor and Nolan extended his hand with a sweet smile. I grabbed his hand and he guided me to the floor. His hand slipped to the small of my back and I leaned into his comforting embrace.
"Somethings different", he said hinting at me and I felt his breath against my ear.
I hummed to the song as he asked me what was different. And my mind wandered to what was different, the little hopeful bundle of joy, our bundle of joy in my stomach.
"Weddings, they're just beautiful, makes me think back to ours", I spoke softly in his ear and he smiled softly. Those moments we shared, around the world and here back at home that strengthened our bond with each other.
"I remember our first dance, you were so nervous that you would step on my feet", he whispered as I let out a slight giggle along the silent ballroom, with a sweet medley playing in the background.
"I didn't want to hurt you", I spoke softly with him as we swayed to the melody of the slow violin and the chords of the harp.
"Then you looked into my eyes and you told me to pretend it was just you and I listening to the record player in our living room", I said remembering our blissful wedding day that made me cave into him even more.
"And you did and then you danced, you stepped on my toe once but I didn't want to ruin your dancing moment", he said moving my hair to the side.
"You can't blame me, Miss Celine threw me in a dancing class 5 days before my wedding day, I didn't know how to dance, let alone in heels", I told him as the other couples, old and grey, looked at us disappointedly as we hushed our voices. Nobody talked during dancing anymore, where's the joy in that?
"Our first date, I was scared you were going to break your ankle, I always thought wearing heels was a given talent, but then I saw you", he said softly, and I looked at him maddening. I couldn't be that bad.
"I promise you try those on and you will break your ankle", I said referring to the black stiletto pumps that were now crushing my feet in two after an hour of wearing them.
"I doubt that", he said testing my truth on the subject.
"When we get home, you are going to throw a little fashion show, all my clothes and there will be very small heels you can break your ankles in repeatedly", I told him and he swore he would do it. I knew he would probably have no trouble wearing heels, he had the balance of a tightrope walker and the confidence.
Nolan was pulled away by business associates, who wanted to talk about business at a wedding. I rushed off to the bathroom, knowing bladder couldn't let a moment go by.
I knew the next 9 and probably 10 months of my life would be dedicated to running back and forth to the bathroom, but I didn't mind it, not at all.
It marveled me that every women in the world, including women I would know go through this process and I felt them all behind me, with me especially my mom.
I had never felt closer to my mom in any other way. It was the bundle of joy that made me want to call her at twelve in the morning asking her all of the random questions I could look up on google, but just hearing her answer them would be all I needed. It was the small things that I wished she was here to see.
I missed her, especially in these moments.
I held my hand over my stomach, imagining feeling a kick. It was too early for that, but I knew one day when that day came I would never be happier.
"No shit you're pregnant", I heard a voice say from the corner, an annoyed voice to say the least.
Tiffany was staring at me and my hand, which I quickly moved. I readjusted my hair, as she waited for an answer. I knew lying would do no good.
"I am, just don't tell Nolan yet. I haven't told him or Alison", I begged of her and I saw something different in her.
"I'm happy for him and for you, I won't say anything", she said as she washed her hands in the sink next to the long stretched mirror. She had changed, her jealousy her deceit, had entirely disappeared.
"Thank you", I said as she threw the paper towel and nodded at me, as she stepped out of the bathroom leaving me alone.
Had the weekend we went to the Caribbean, really made a difference to her? As I walked out of the bathroom, I felt like it did.
"You looked beautiful dancing", I told Avery and she whispered all the miscellaneous things she was thinking as hundreds of people watched her trying to remember the steps from her little glamour girls dance classes when she was six.
"Listen so for my honeymoon, Tyler has this big deal coming through and I have a fashion shoot in around a week, so we're coming back before Nolan's birthday", she said and I looked at her with eyes wide open.
"Birthday, whe-when's his birthday?", I said and she looked at me shocked, he hadn't told me.
"In ten days, he didn't tell you", she commented and I looked at Nolan who was dancing with Leah.
"He didn't, I guess we kinda skipped that part of the relationship", I said and she seemed stumped on the situation.
"Nolan hates birthdays, he goes on a fishing trip with my dad and accepts he's a year older, it's very somber", Avery commented and that's when the perfect idea came in my head.
"Does he like parties?", I asked, hoping I could let him have his somber event then we could celebrate.
"Probably from you, since you guys fuck, oh god that felt so good to say I haven't been laid since I became a fiancé and it's too much, which is why I'm hoping we can leave now, right now", she blurted out and I knew she had been letting her temptations get to the best of her.
"Will he like it?", I asked her as she adjusted her dress in the corner.
"Yeah, he loves surprises", she said and I didn't want to know if she was being sarcastic or not.
"I already have the best present for him". I said and she closed her ears off.
"I don't want to hear about the sexcapades", she said and I really told her what this present would be, something more meaningful to the rich man than the world itself.
"Now that is adorable", she said hugging me softly.
"I think I'm going to ditch this wedding". She said looking around at the murmuring guests.
"Have fun", she kissed my cheek and went to grab her husband. Soon enough Avery got her wishes and the wedding ended with us waving off the happy couple to their special getaway destination.
Nolan and I drove home after helping the event planners clean up. And on the ride home, I had all the time in the world to torment him about how he didn't tell me his birthday was coming up.
"I heard from someone that your birthday is coming up", I confronted him, and he acknowledged that I knew by looking over at home hoping I would never find out.
"Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just don't really think birthdays are a big deal, I'm all for a good party, but celebrating a year that I'm older is really nothing to celebrate we all grow", he said and I couldn't let him go through his birthday, not being celebrated.
A perfect idea was planted in my head. I nodded my head at his disgust for birthdays.
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