Flashback: Friday, April 24, 1981
It was the day before Lorelai's thirteenth birthday. A day she had been excited about for some time. Finally a teenager!
Climbing out of bed, Lorelai moved toward her en suite bathroom and began getting ready for school. After a quick shower, she opened her closet doors and scanned for something special to wear. Nothing jumped out at her as she dismissed item after item.
Then Lorelai remembered a green beaded top that her grandmother had given her mother. It was wrapped carefully in tissue paper in Emily's closet. She imagined it paired with her favorite Chemin de Fer sailor jeans. Perfection.
Slowly opening her bedroom door, she listened for any sound on the second floor of the Gilmore mansion. Nothing. She quietly sneaked into her parents' room and into their massive cedar closet. She rummaged at the back for the top she was seeking, her spirit lifted. Royston Sinclair III would eat his heart out!
Back in her room, she gently unwrapped the tissue and slid it underneath her bed for safe keeping. Sliding it on over a camisole, Lorelai smiled to herself, knowing no one would be as stylish as she was that day.
Waiting in her room until the last second, Lorelai threw on a jacket and fled the house, terrified her theft would be discovered before she got through the front door. But she was safe. She made it to the bus stop with only seconds to spare, climbing the bus steps and finding a seat quickly.
Once at school, Lorelai peeled her jacket off, leaving it in her locker. Her first class passed at snail speed, partly due to the material and partly due to her eagerness to get to her science class, which she shared with Royston. When the bell rang, she grabbed her backpack and made a bee line out the door. She wanted to be early so she could be ready and waiting when Royston walked in. She heard his voice carrying in the hall and her heartbeat thudded in her ears. She could not wait for his eyes to fall on her.
Then it happened. Royston entered the class and saw Lorelai sitting at her usual desk. He paused for a moment.
And he burst out laughing.
Lorelai felt her cheeks flush and busied herself with her notebook.
Royston stopped beside her. "You dress up for me?"
"Well—" she stuttered.
He laughed again. "You look cheap."
Lorelai's head popped up, seeing that most of the other students had filtered in. "Cheap? I am not cheap!" She felt her voice rising as anger took hold.
Royston rolled his eyes. "You are cheap. And loud. And weird. I only dated you because I was mad at Angie but I'm not now. We're back together."
"You're breaking up with me?"
Royston nodded.
Clenching her teeth to prevent tears from spilling down her cheeks, Lorelai looked down at her lap. Wearing this top was such a mistake. Why didn't she see that this morning?
"I have a question," Royston continued. "Are you actually a Gilmore? I heard a rumor that your parents couldn't have kids of their own so they bought you off their gardener. Is that true?"
Lorelai was crushed. Not only was she being rejected by Royston in front of everyone, but now everyone thought she wasn't a real Gilmore. She shook her head as she jumped from her seat and grabbed her backpack, before running out of class. She ran through the halls until she was outside. She knew she couldn't go back to class so she began walking with no particular destination in mind.
After what must have been an hour later, Lorelai ended up at the mall. Entering through Damien's, she continued until she was in the food court. The smells taunted her as she realized she never ate breakfast. She sat at an empty table and fought back tears.
Several moments later, Lorelai looked up. It took a moment to register she was staring into the eyes of her father.
"Why aren't you in school?" Richard demanded, furious. "Tell me right now, Lorelai. Why aren't you in school?"
Lorelai closed her eyes and lowered her head. She tried to think of something, anything, that would make sense. But nothing did. All she could think of was that yesterday she had had a boyfriend who loved her and today she didn't.
Tears began to fall as sobs wracked Lorelai's body. She must look like an idiot, sitting in the food court in front of her father while crying over a boy. After what seemed like forever, she took control of herself and calmed down. And waited.
Waited for Richard to yell at her. Waited for him to punish her and ground her forever for skipping school. Waited for him to tell her how disappointed he was in her.
But that didn't happen.
Finally, after finding enough courage to look up, Lorelai found her father standing before her with a pretzel in his hand. A giant pretzel covered in mustard. He moved closer to hand it to her. "Let's go," he commanded.
Hunger overruling her pain, Lorelai quickly ate the pretzel as she followed Richard out of the mall. It was gone by the time they reached his Jaguar. They both climbed in but Richard did not start the car. Instead, he turned to his daughter. "Would you like to go to the movies?"
Lorelai nodded, feeling oddly comforted in the presence of her father.
Richard drove the short distance to the local theater. They wound their way through the velvet ropes and stood in a short line to purchase tickets. Richard took out his wallet as he looked at the movie titles. "Two for Grease and An Unmarried Woman." He handed his credit card to the cashier and smiled at Lorelai. "One for you and one for me."
At the concession stand, Richard bought popcorn and Red Hots before guiding Lorelai into the theater playing Grease. Throughout the movie, she found herself glancing at her father. When she woke up that morning, she never would have guessed this is how the day would progress.
When Grease was over, Richard and Lorelai moved to the theater playing An Unmarried Woman. It wasn't a movie she would have chosen on her own but Lorelai was surprised that it kept her attention. There was even an actress who bore a startling resemblance to her mother.
On the drive home, Lorelai watched the scenery fly by. She wondered why Richard was at the mall in the first place, given that she had never known him to go there. Turning to face him, she asked, "Dad, why were you at the mall today?"
"Well, if you must know, I went to pick up a little gift for your birthday. However, when I saw you, my plans went out the window."
Lorelai chuckled. "My plans for today went out the window too, Dad."
"Tell me, Lorelai. Why were you at the mall?"
"My boyfriend broke up with me in front of my entire science class." She decided to leave out the rest of what happened. "I was embarrassed so I left school and ended up at the mall."
Richard's face fell. "I'm sorry. That's no way to be treated."
A frown tugged at Lorelai's lips as she turned away. Her day had certainly been a roller coaster of emotions but nothing would have prepared her for the fact that her father had unknowingly come to her rescue when she felt her most vulnerable.
Pulling in the driveway, it suddenly dawned on Lorelai that she was wearing her mother's prized top and had nothing with her to cover it up. "Oh, Mom is going to me so angry at me," she said, more to herself than anything.
Richard responded, however. "About you skipping school or wearing that top?"
"Um, both," she answered.
"Yes, well, let's see if I can help matters." Richard glanced into the backseat of the car. He spotted a sweater and reached to grab it. "Put this on over your top and get upstairs to change. I'll keep your mother downstairs so you can put it back in our closet."
Lorelai tilted her head. "You'd really do that for me?"
Richard smiled. "I would. After all, you're my only daughter and tomorrow is your thirteenth birthday."
Lorelai pulled the sweater over her head and exited the car. She and Richard moved to the front door to find Emily just inside. Lorelai was afraid she'd get caught but her father was quick on the draw. "Hello, Emily. I picked Lorelai up from school and took her to the club for a soda. How was your day?"
"Fine, Richard, thank you." Emily looked at Lorelai. "Why is she wearing your sweater?"
"She got chilled on the way home so I told her to put that on." Richard turned to Lorelai. "Now run along upstairs to get your homework done."
Lorelai walked to the stairs but stole a backwards glance at Richard, who winked at her while Emily's back was turned. She smiled before running to her room to change clothes.
Later that night, as she lay in bed, Lorelai reflected on the events of the day and came to a surprising conclusion.
It was the best day she'd ever had.
°°°°°°
Friday, April 11, 1986
Yet another memory surfaced as Lorelai cleaned recently vacated room later that week. She couldn't help but think about the few times she felt accepted and loved in the Gilmore house, even though they weren't often.
No matter how bad things got between her and Richard, Lorelai often thought of the eve of her thirteenth birthday and remembered how her father had rescued her. Of all the places to run to or times for him to be at the mall, it seemed the cosmos aligned to show her that maybe Richard really did love Lorelai. Even if it was hard for him to show.
Most people would want the privileged life she grew up in. And maybe under different circumstances, she would have too. It's just how much that life was shoved down her throat that made Lorelai want to run the opposite way as fast as she could.
The visit she and Rory had made to Hartford was as nice as one could expect, given the situation. Things ended cordially, with empty promises that they'd have to get together more often. But in the weeks since, Lorelai heard nothing from her parents and she made no effort to reach out to them. Whose court was the ball in? Hers, since she's the one who left? Or theirs, since she went to see them last?
And was there even a ball, at this point? Or was it more of a blow dart, injected with a tranquilizer that would cloud Lorelai's judgment and lead her back to the very life she ran away from?
She never planned on being a teenage mother—not that anyone ever really did. But once that strip turned pink, she knew it was no longer about her. She had a child to consider and fought to give Rory a life she would not want to escape when she got older.
Thinking about the day before her thirteenth birthday made Lorelai question her choices since then and wonder if things could be better with her parents in the years to come.
°°°°°°
Monday, April 14, 1986
"You have a visitor at the front desk."
Lorelai turned toward Maddie, one of her fellow maids, as she finished cleaning the last room of her shift. "Thanks, I'll be right down."
Unsure who would be dropping by to see her, Lorelai picked up the pace and climbed into the elevator with her maid cart. She moved through the lobby but didn't see anyone she knew. After returning the cart to the storage room, she washed her hands and walked to the front desk. "Lisa, Maddie said someone was here to see me."
Lisa pointed to the front door. "Yes, he said he would wait outside for you."
He? Lorelai thought as she pulled open the door. Surprise filled her face as she spotted Christopher standing at the edge of the deck.
"Look at what the cat dragged in," was Lorelai's greeting.
Christopher turned around abruptly. He surveyed the girl in front of him and grinned. "I never thought I'd fall for a housekeeper but you sure fit the bill."
"What are you doing here, Chris?"
Shrugging, he leaned on a post. "Your mom said you wanted to see me so here I am."
"My mom—what?"
"She called St. Cybil's and left a message with the headmaster's office that it was important that I call her. So I did and she was adamant that I come here because you needed to see me." Gauging her reaction, the truth dawned on him. "You didn't have any idea she did that, did you?"
Lorelai shook her head. "No, I didn't. But I can't say it's a shock, given that meddling is Emily's favorite past time."
The two stood in silence for several minutes before Christopher spoke again. "So, how's Rory?"
Lorelai couldn't stop a grin from spreading on her face. "She's wonderful. She's so big and is already starting to read."
"Isn't she only like a year old?"
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "She's a year and a half. But she's advanced."
"I'd expect no less with you as her mother," Christopher said, sincerity coloring his words.
"Would you like to see her?"
Christopher slowly nodded. "Sure, where is she?"
"My boss, Mia, keeps her during my shifts. She set up a little play area in her office so that Rory can be entertained while I work without having to pay for a sitter."
"That's nice, Lor."
Without another word, Lorelai turned and walked back into the Inn and to Mia's office. The inn's owner had Rory on her lap while she spoke on the phone. She smiled at Lorelai as she ended the call and dropped the receiver back into place. "I suspect you're coming for this cutie." Mia dropped a kiss on Rory's head.
"I certainly am." Lorelai crossed the office and picked up her daughter. Christopher appeared in the doorway, clearly unsure if he was welcome. Lorelai gestured to him. "Mia, this is Christopher, Rory's father. Chris, this is Mia Bass, my boss and the owner of the Independence Inn."
Christopher nodded. "Nice to meet you, Miss Bass."
Mia waved away Chris' comment. "Call me Mia. Miss Bass was my maiden aunt." She rounded the desk. "I've heard a lot about you."
"I'm not sure if that's good or bad."
Mia was a straight shooter. "Well, truth be told, I'm not quite sure of that myself."
Lorelai glanced between the two. "Chris, we can go to my apartment so you can visit with Rory." She turned toward Mia and gave a small smile. "Thank you for watching her."
Mia put her arm around Lorelai's shoulders. "You know I love keeping Rory." She winked before rounding her desk and reclaiming her seat. Christopher had moved through the door, giving Mia a moment for quick motherly advice. "I'm not sure what brought him here but be careful."
Lorelai nodded but said nothing.
°°°°°°
Christopher sat at the small table in Lorelai's apartment, his eyes trained on Rory as she played on the floor. "I can't believe she is so big. She's grown so much since I dropped the two of you off here last year."
"She has," Lorelai agreed. "She's amazing. She brings so much joy to my life."
Quiet for a moment, Chris turned toward Lorelai. "Do you ever regret how things happened?"
Lorelai tilted her head. "Not for a moment." She debated on whether to ask the next question, then realized she had to know. "Do you?"
"Well, a little, yeah."
Lorelai was unsure how to take his answer. Did he regret her altogether? Was it Rory he regretted?
Chris saw the confusion on Lorelai's face. "It's not you or Rory I regret. I wish we would have gotten married, Lor. I could be the husband and father you both need."
"I can't have this argument again. We wouldn't have made it, you have to know that. We were fifteen when I got pregnant. What do fifteen-year-olds know about marriage?"
"What did you know then about being a mother? But here you are, doing it. Day in, day out. You're Rory's rock, Lor. I want to be her rock, too. I don't want to just be the guy who comes around for holidays or her birthday. I want to be there for both of you. I've grown a lot these last few months. I can be who you need me to be."
Lorelai's voice got quiet. "You didn't bother coming around until my mother called you, Chris. If you were the guy we needed, you would have been around the whole time."
"That's not fair. You know that's not fair."
"It's fair. It's the fairest. You dropped us here and left without looking back. You knew exactly where we were the last six months and didn't bother with so much as a phone call until today. What will stop you from leaving tomorrow if you realize you don't want this life?"
"The only life I don't want is my parents'. I'm good with this." Christopher gestured around him.
Lorelai laughed. "Oh, you're good with this? I'm not even good with this! But this is what I have so I have to make it work. If it wasn't for Mia, I couldn't tell you where I'd be right now."
"Back with your parents?"
"That will never be an option for me. My life at that house is over."
The two sat in silence, both letting Rory distract them from the turn the conversation took. They watched as she played with blocks and crinkly books. A smile touched Lorelai's lips when her daughter looked up to her and held out a book. "Mom, read."
Chris' eyes lit up. "She talks? You didn't tell me that."
"She says several words. Mom, read, book, eat. Stuff like that."
"Has she ever said 'dad'?"
Lorelai hesitated before answering. "No, she hasn't."
"Oh."
"In her defense, Chris, she doesn't know what a dad is. You've only sporadically been around."
Chris stood and walked around the small space. He moved to the makeshift kitchen and looked out the window. "I'm sorry. I didn't have the best example for what a dad should be. I never thought I'd need to figure it out so early."
"I didn't have the best example either, Chris. But I've adapted. I just do the opposite of what my parents would do. I seem to be successful, at least so far."
Chris wandered to the bedroom area and spotted a ball of fabric on the bedside table. He picked it up, trying to make heads or tails of what it was. He turned and looked at Lorelai. "What is this?"
"It's a scurf," she said, matter of factly.
Chris' face remained blank. "Care to elaborate?"
"Mia bought me a sewing machine from a secondhand store so I could try to cut costs by making Rory clothes. That was my first attempt. It was terrible but Mia tried to make me feel better by putting it on Rory's head and telling me I created something new called a scurf."
"Interesting." He put the fabric back on the nightstand. "So, what do you think, Lor? Is there room here for me too?"
Taking a deep breath, Lorelai crossed the room and took Christopher's hands in hers. "There will always be room for you in Rory's life. But I can't marry you. I can't let myself depend on you, only to have you leave."
"Why are you so sure I'll leave?"
"Because you've done it so many times since Rory was born."
"I was sent away to boarding school. I hardly had a choice."
"And you have a choice now?"
"If we got married, I'm sure I could talk my parents into allowing me to leave school and move in here with you."
"Look around, Chris. Your parents will never approve of this. They'll never approve of me or Rory so as long as we are part of your equation, you'll never have a chance."
"You don't know that—"
"I do. I know that for a fact."
"Your parents are accepting—"
Sarcasm seeped from Lorelai's words. "Yes, my parents just love that you got me pregnant at fifteen and want to welcome you in with open arms."
"It was your dad's idea to get married."
"To save face! Not because he genuinely wanted to give me away to you while pregnant at fifteen." Lorelai played with the hem of her shirt. "Come on, Chris. Be realistic. Can you see yourself living here, working in a low paying job, all in the name of being a good father?"
"If I have to, yes."
Lorelai met Christopher's eyes. "And there it is."
"There what is?"
"You said, 'if I have to.' Have to. You don't have to be here with us. You don't have to walk away from what your parents planned for you." She paused briefly. "I want you to want to be a part of Rory's life. I don't want you to stay out of obligation."
"It won't be out of obligation, Lor."
"Remember when I had to make up a chemistry exam during lunch? And you waited outside the room for me with a slice of pizza stuffed in your pocket?"
Christopher smiled. "Yeah, I remember."
"You wanted to be there, waiting for me. You are only here today because my mother called you and told you I needed you. So, out of some chivalrous sense of duty, you appeared. But you wouldn't have come for any other reason."
Christopher shrugged. "I never not think about you and Rory, Lor. I never stop wondering how you're doing."
"But that's not enough to base a marriage on. I won't be the reason you don't achieve great things if that's your destiny. I'll forever be cheering you on and will tell Rory all about her father. But she will notice if it's all words with no action to back it up."
He nodded. "I know, Lor. I do. I just think you're making a mistake by pushing me away."
"Let's get this straight. Just because I'm not willing to marry you doesn't mean I'm pushing you away. I want you to come around, to visit us. But I'm not going to set a poor example of marriage for Rory. I want her to have the best of everything, to not be held back by what her parents did or didn't do. I'm not willing to sacrifice her future by getting married this young."
Christopher held up his hands in defeat. "Okay. I get it. But don't ever count me out, Lor. Please."
"I never will."
With that, Christopher turned to the door. "I better get going. I have an early class tomorrow and my parents will kill me if I get kicked out St. Cybil's." His eyes met Lorelai's for a lingering moment. She could almost read the things he wanted to say but didn't have the courage to. She didn't press him for more than he could give; instead, she let him go with the hope that he'd come back.
She really hoped he would come back.