That night, Lexa opened up a chat window she'd been ignoring in the first few months that it kept lighting up with texts.
Then the texts came after longer intervals. Her birthday, Christmas, thanksgiving. Then this year, they just stopped coming in all together. Lexa finally began to type back tonight.
"Hi Raven J Are you up?"
"Holy shit! Thank heavens! Girl, you're alive!!!" came Raven's reply.
"Classic Raven reaction. I've missed you" Lexa typed and sent.
"Then come home." came Raven's immediate reply.
"So much has changed, Rae" she replied.
"Here too. But not what we feel about you." The words were meant to hold so much. Lexa refused to let it get to her. Instead she decided to type out a little disclaimer.
"I know it's been a while. But I don't think I'm completely ready to address everything about what I left behind. I hope that's fine with you. I wouldn't like to talk about certain things and certain people." said Lexa.
"I understand...I think." came Raven's reply.
"Thank you." Lexa smiled sadly as she turned in her bed. She looked at the time, it was 10 pm. Madi must be asleep at her camp.
"How have you been Raven? Are you still working at the same place?" she continued to catch up with her long lost friend. Raven too kept the conversation going around her work, her rent, the latest gossip on the streets, a little news about marriages and kids amongst a few of their mutual friends. But neither of them brought up Clarke.
"I have a daughter, Raven. Her name's Madi" Lexa typed and hit send. And then soon after, she sent Madi's photo, one they had clicked right before Madi left for the camp that morning.
Lexa waited as she saw the three dots to indicate Raven was typing. But the dots kept appearing, then disappearing. Then they would bob up and down for a long while and then disappear again. Clearly, Raven was at a loss for words at Lexa's revelation and Lexa now began to worry.
"She's beautiful, Lex" came Raven's reply then.
"Rae, you were typing for 15 minutes. What is it you're not saying?"
Lexa had always admired the fact that Raven was as blunt as it gets. She would always say what's on her mind. And right now, she wanted that Raven to speak her mind.
"She looks so... extraordinary... There's something about her eyes. They're familiar. Anyway, I take it you're seeing someone then?"
Lexa stared at that last bit. And immediately replied
"No no, there's no one in my life right now. I adopted Madi when she was one year old."
"Alright that makes sense. Wait, so you've been with no one... ever since..."
"Rae... I'd prefer not to talk about this yet."
"Of course of course. Anyway listen I've got to go, can I call you tomorrow? Can I trust that you won't go MIA on me all over again?" came Raven's reply.
"I promise. I'll be right here. No more MIA." Promised Lexa.
"Great. Goodnight Lex. I'm so happy you finally reached out."
"Goodnight Raven. I'm glad I did this too. But do me a favour, let's keep this between us, please."
"Sure. Right. Yea" came Raven's reply.
Clarke was up early today, even though she had no reason to be. Aden was out of town. She didn't have to be at the gallery today. She could have easily slept the day in. But her eyes shot open at 7 am out of habit, and she couldn't bring herself to fall asleep after that. So here she was, for once allowing herself to whip up a good breakfast even though it was just going to be her.
Hold that thought. She heard the lock in the door turn and in came Raven, dressed for work, looking smart as ever.
"To what do I owe the pleasure? Raven Reyes visiting me before work? Is it the end of the world?"
Raven sat across from her on one of the stools by the kitchen island. And that's when Clarke noticed her demeanour.
"Rae? Are you alright?"
Raven looked up at her then, "huh?"
"Which world are you in?" Clarke asked.
"uhh... nothing... got some food for me?" she asked trying to change the subject. But Clarke was not going to let it go. Raven was usually a very open person. The last time she acted this way was in high school when she was asked to keep a secret from Clarke.
Clarke served her some waffles and watched as Raven stuffed her mouth with food, still not making eye contact.
"Raven, what are you keeping from me?"
"Keeping from you? I'm not keeping anything from you. Why would I keep anything from you? You're my best friend, Clarke, I could never keep anything from you." she mumbled with her mouth still full.
Clarke laughed, but then began to worry.
Something was clearly bothering Raven, and she felt she couldn't tell Clarke right now. But Raven DID come over at 8 am, before work to her place, so she must feel guilty for holding something in. she decided there was only one thing she could do.
She reached out and placed her hand on Raven's. Raven finally looked up at her.
"Hey, whatever it is, tell me in your own time. Whenever you think it's appropriate, alright?"
Raven nodded. She then did something that was so unlike her. She got up from her seat, came around the island and pulled Clarke into a tight embrace.
"This morning keeps getting weirder." Clarke exclaimed even as she hugged Raven tighter. Next thing she knew Raven mumbled 'Thanks for breakfast' and hurried out the door for a new day at work.
"Have a nice day, honey?" Clarke teased.
Raven flipped her the finger, and closed the door behind her.
It was lunch time now, and Raven decided what better time to call Lexa and catch up on 4 years of lost time.
The phone rang 5 times before Lexa finally picked up, and Raven's heartbeat was already racing, knowing she was going to be hearing this voice after 4 whole years.
"Raven!"
"Lex! Hi!"
Lexa chuckled, and the laughter was so pure, it was like time travelling back to their days at high school.
"Is this a good time to talk?" Raven asked.
"Raven, don't you go around getting all formal with me. I know it's been a while, but it's still me and hopefully, you're still you."
"As me as I could be without you around"
"I'll make up for it, I promise" Lexa said with a smile. "So what are you doing? Is it lunch time already?"
"Uhh, yea, I mean, I got an early start to my day today, had to stop by at Clar... at a friend's place before work so..."
Lexa didn't miss the slip, but she chose to not think too much of it.
"What's Madi up to?" Raven asked
"Oh she's not at home. She had a school camp for 2 days, so she should return this evening."
This got Raven thinking. And thinking real hard. But before she could voice any of her questions, she was distracted with a voice from Lexa's home.
"No no, it's Raven" Lexa was telling the third person.
"Yea yea, gloat all you want." Lexa told the person.
"Who's that?" asked Raven.
"Sorry, that's just my sister, Anya. Have you met her before?"
"I don't think I've had the pleasure, but I've heard about her, definitely."
Lexa chuckled. "Yea.,. Well she's been hounding me to call you for months, reminding me that I should stay in touch with the one friend I have"
Raven laughed loud and hard at this "Well she does have a point. What if I stared hating you?"
"Would you ever?" Lexa asked seriously
Raven thought about it for a second "Nah" she said and they laughed. Once again Anya was mumbling something from the other end and Raven couldn't quite understand why she was so interested to know what that voice was saying, there was something about Anya's voice, it was just so, alluring.
"I'm putting you on speaker, Rae, for some reason Anya feels the need to butt into our conversation" Lexa said, her tone mixed with irritation and jest.
"Hi Raven" came the voice more clearly now.
"Hi, Anya. Hi."
There was silence between the two of them then. And Lexa butted in.
"That's it? That's what you wanted to say to my friend Raven?"
"uhh.. no... I had more to say, but I've forgotten"
Raven understood the feeling, because suddenly her throat felt dry too. "Anya, that's okay... so how are you doing? Does Lexa bother you much?"
"Oh she can be a handful. 4 years ago I would have liked a warning that she was coming back into my life and bringing one little angel with her too. I can't get enough of that little rascal now."
Raven laughed "the more I hear about Madi, the more I want to meet her."
"Soon" Lexa said and at the same time Anya spoke "Come over"
Raven laughed. Lexa continued "I think what Anya means is you are always welcome to our home Raven, but we may be coming to New York soon."
"What! That's great!" Raven exclaimed excitedly.
"Lexa may come live with Clarke again" Anya said
"Wait what?! NO! Anya no. Raven, don't listen to her. Nothing of the sort is happening."
Raven's heartbeat was racing again. She wasn't sure what to feel about it all, Lexa coming back to New York, but not wanting to be near Clarke. It was understandable, but would Clarke understand when the time came.
"Raven? You there?" Lexa asked.
"Yes yes, I'm still here"
"Yea, as I was saying. I'm not living in anyone's home. I will be looking out for a place of our own, for Madi and I to live in."
"But that's going to take you time" Anya argued. "Until then, I'm sure Clarke won't have a problem having you stay over"
Raven could see what Anya was trying to do. She wondered later if she should talk to Anya separately to get her point of view on things. Who better would know everything Lexa isn't saying than her own sister, right?
"That's not up for discussion, Anya. It's final." Lexa said, now sounding highly frustrated.
"When will you guys be coming down?" Raven asked.
"Sometime next week" Anya said.