Wattpad 101: Your guide to th...

By whatsawhizzer

377K 14.5K 6.8K

So you just started an account... Or maybe you've been here a while and you just aren't getting a feel for th... More

Day 1: What do I do?
Etiquette - How to be Nice on Wattpad
How do I get reads on Wattpad?
Critiquing 101
How to write a decent Critique?
Writing Dialogue
Dialogue Tags
How to Gain Followers
Copyright Law
Describing Faces
Ten Common Wattpad Pitfalls In Writing
In the US - The American Education System High School & College
The 7 Sins of Wattpad (What not to do)
Editing 101
Accepting Criticism
Writing in the Male Point of View
How to Write a Blurb/Summary
How to Come up with Good Title and Character Names... or Not
Writing Tools and Software to Help You Improve
Describing Bodies
What to do about Adverbs
How to Start a Story
How long should my chapter be?
How to Get Over Writer's Block
What you "can" do and what you "should" do.
5 Complaints about Wattpad
Commonly Misused Words
Clichés Do Not Equal Bad
The Mary Sue and Female Inconsistency Syndrome
Sexy Food and Useless Descriptions
Unreliable Critiquers and Authors
Disposable Words That Bloat Your Writing
Describing Points of View
Critique Horoscoping
Pretty Little Nothings and Purple Prose
Comments, Likes, and Readers; Oh my!
What's with your Prologue?
How to write a paragraph
Chapter Breaks and Point of View Titles
Six Inappropriate Subjects to Write About
How Do I Describe My Main Character?
Writing Your First Story
Wattpad Popular Versus Publishable
How I Learned to Describe My Books Before People Read Them!
This is Just Fiction
Filler Introduction Chapters
A Message for the Younger Followers on Entitlement
The Moral Question
Every Fan Fiction Ever Written
Every Fan Fiction Ever Written (Part 2)
Every Fan Fiction Ever Written (Part 3)
Every Fan Fiction Ever Written (Final)
Foreshadowing 101
Sex and Wattpad's Mature Rating System
Accents, Banter, and Lizard People?
How to Write an Interesting Story
The Four Narrative Forms of Fiction
Target Audience and Niche Writing
What Do You Want, Wattpad?
World Building 101
Sex, Consent, and America!
Plot Armor and Character Death
Editing 201 - The First Things to Fix
Wattpad's Ranking System Revealed!!!
Statistics and Demographics
Write WHATEVER you WANT
How to Become a Published Author
In The US - Classes, Homes, and Cars
How Much is Money?
Every Fantasy Ever Written
US Versus UK Grammar and Spelling
In The US - Diet, Obesity, and Fat-shaming?
How to Become a Better Writer
Every Science Fiction Story Ever Written
Fixing Format Foibles
The Weakest Form of Writing
Fan Fiction 101
"Show, Don't Tell" and Other Thoughts On Description
Writing Dialogue 102
What You Don't Write, Doesn't Exist
More Shameless Self Promotion
How to Write a Three-Dimensional Character
Outrage, Backlash, and the Art of Being Offended
Getting Help on Wattpad
Writing for Indians
Writing a Darker Story
The Group Mentality Chapette
Accepting Criticism: Take 2
It's Like, My Opinion, Man
Same Story, Different Writers (Part 1)
Same Story, Different Writers (Part 2)
What the Heck is Filtering?
Grammar Nazis
A Wattpad History
Please Star and Comment on This Chapter
100 Reasons Your Work Isn't Getting Stars
Quit Starring Yourself, You'll Go Blind
Git Gud: Some Advice for The Youngest Writers
Applicability Versus Allegory
Is The Bible a "Good" Book?
The Ten Grammar Mistakes That Anger Your Readers The Most
Self-Publishing On Amazon: Living the Dream
The Ten Worst Comments On Wattpad
Editing 301 - Drafts
Ten People You've Met on Wattpad
The Cost of Chapter Length
Emordnilap Palindrome
Help! Help! I'm Being Infringed!
The 10 Biggest Mistakes In This Book
An Update on the New Ranking System!!!
Reader's Fatigue
The Dream Sequence
Tag Your Story 101
Commenting 101
Microediting and Why I Don't Like It
I Don't Write Filler
When Arguing Goes Too Far (Defending Versus Arguing)
You're Worth It
Get Your Suspension of Disbelief Out of My Plot Hole
Five Skills Towards Becoming A Better Webnovel Writer
5 Critical Comments About Critical Commenters
Anchoring Bias or Why Your Brain Is Dumb
Public Readers are the Worst
Artists, Illustrators, and Book Covers
Grammatical Indecisiveness and the Philosopher's Bone (To Pick)

A Big Sloppy List of Cliches (By Genre)

3K 155 557
By whatsawhizzer

So, I promised this chapter quite some time ago, and I decided it's finally time to deliver. This is a chapter on every Cliché I can think of. Go back to my 'clichés do not equal bad' before you think this chapter is being too critical.

Chances are you have several clichés in your story. The best thing to do is be aware of all of the common clichés so you can decide when and when not to do something. This list, much like my lists of descriptive adjectives, is far far far too large to possibly catch them all. These, as I said, are the most common and frequently mentioned ones, and even then I'm bound to miss a million.

Since clichés tend to go all over the place, I will list them by genre. Please note that just because a cliché is in a certain genre doesn't mean it might not show up in another. There is no reason romance clichés can't show up in a science fiction, for example. I also try to avoid double listing clichés, but I probably do a few times. The first person who adds ten cliches in comments gets a dedication.

Romance 

A stunningly beautiful heroine.  

A princess heroine.  

A heroine who doesn't realize how beautiful she is.  

The hero is a prince, tycoon, or billionaire. 

The heroine is under 18, while the hero is slightly older.  

The heroine cries every chance she gets.  

The heroine is 'independent' but can't seem to do anything for herself.  

Whenever the heroine does something, she does it better than the hero expected.  

The heroine has no faults.  

All other women are catty or otherwise after the heroine's man.  

No other women compare to the heroine in skill and ability in anything they do.  

The heroine has a small, feminine job, anything that doesn't get in the way of her spending time with the hero.  

Or... the heroine works an awesome professional job, but doesn't seem to be the money.  

The heroine has all finances in her life paid for by someone else.  

The heroine has a kooky friend that is always there to help/annoy her.  

The heroine has some ridiculous name, like Blaze or Psi 

The hero or heroine are already in a relationship, but there partner is in some way secretly evil.  

The hero treats the heroine like dirt initially, but they warm up to each other.  

The hero in some way sexual assaults the heroine, but she doesn't mind or even see it as sexual assault. Anything from kissing her when she says no to sexually harassing her.  

The heroine is a virgin. 

The hero is a promiscuous stud.  

Evil Relatives/Ex's/Other woman who only want to keep the couple apart.  

A city girl meets a rough country boy, he gets her to unravel.  

The heroine needs to be rescued, usually by another man who becomes sexually aggressive with her.  

Human heroine in love with a supernatural male.  

Mysterious stalker becomes love interest.  

Heroine hates men and claims she'd never get with one.  

Two people with nothing in common fall in love.

Mystery 

The hero has a haunted past.  

It's never the obvious suspect.  

Someone close to the hero ends up betraying him.  

Usually ends with a final showdown between the protagonist and the bad guy.  

Sometimes there is a race against time.  

Being Knocked unconscious for plot convenience.  

Having a relationship with alcohol.  

A Sherlock Holmes expert mystery / famous detective.  

The snitch gets killed at some point.  

They always have to travel to some place outside their comfort zone.  

The serial killer is brilliant and articulate.

Science Fiction 

People with access to advanced weaponry will eventually end up using primitive stuff to survive.  

Offworld exploration crew ends up with a deadly virus.  

Every alien race has exactly one language, one culture, one belief system, one moral system, and also dress the same.  

Humans from the future aren't much different in the way they think and their morality than people from the 20th century.  

All humans are grouped under a single faction/alliance/ or federation.  

A scientist unlocks a technology, goes against 'nature', and is then set back in his place, proving once and for all that humans can't play god.  

Robots built to look like humans to complete tasks that could be more efficiently done by robots that look like anything that isn't a human.  

Protagonists are not tempted by evil.  

Giant alien is able to fit (or take the form of) a much smaller alien or human.  

A common animal on earth turns out to be an alien race in disguise.  

Security measures lock out the ship from badguys, but can easily be overridden by the protagonist.  

The captain of the ship is always a pureblooded human.  

Alien good guys always look human, alien bad guys usually look... well... alien.  

The protagonist destroys the entire social or government structure of a planet, and is only resisted by a handful or people in charge.  

Smaller aliens are usually furcovered, larger aliens are usually furless.  

Futuristic weapons look exactly like their modern components, except they mated with an ipad.  

Human technology is easily compatible with all alien technology.  

Perfectly engineered super soldiers.  

An entire society of pacifists with absolutely no means of protecting themselves.  

Future tech is usually quite flashy and full of buttons.  

Alien species usually look like humans, but with single trait changes.  

The red shirt companion meant to die with no real backstory/personality.  

Deus Ex Machina solutions, usually using science sound Jargon.  

Advanced alien species hate humans and see them as savages. So much for enlightened.  

Reconstructing a new person from DNA restores all memories and learned skills.  

No matter how outgunned the human race is in an alien war, a single hero will change the tide.  

Alien societies are analogous with certain human cultures. Klingons are Vikings... ect... ect. 

The final badguy has to be defeated via melee combat.  

No matter how destructive a disease is, you'll come back perfectly if you can be cured at all.  

Alien/human hybrids can only be half human, half alien, no 1/8 this alien, 2/8 that alien, 5/8 human.  

Humans welcome aliens into their society, but they don't receive the same.  

You can control matter at an atomic level, but can't cure aging or death.  

When an invading fleet attacks a planet, they never bombard or damage it, only the ships defending it.  

Future militaries don't use concepts that modern military understand.  

Ships experience friction (when engines stop, the ship stops).  

Space can generate fires and noise.  

Parents have a strained relationship with kids.  

Humans have a certain special something that make them unique compared to all other races, usually our emotions or versatility.  

All ships sit on a 2D plane, never come from above, or below, or upside down.  

A detective happens to not trust the technology involved in the storyline.  

Weapons are color coded for sides, red light sabers, green light sabers, ect... 

All alien planets have 2 moons.  

Only one location in the entire galaxy is the source of something specifically needed by the humans.  

There were only 1 or 2 ancient races, while currently there are 100s of races.  

Space is really small. Asteroid fields are closely clumped together, ships can always find each other and be close enough to see each other out a window.  

Planets are really small, you always land within miles of wherever there is an important city/village.  

Only 1 doctor per ship, who handles all forms of medical needs.  

The ship is spotless, despite having no janitors.

Teen fiction and Fan Fiction 

The heroine goes out and gets drunk at a club at some point, regardless of whether she's old enough to drink or not. In some cases the hero will find her there, and drag her to his home.  

The heroine is a writer, or wants to be a writer. 

Wish fufillment

Finding out you have some superpower that apparently you don't know about until your teens. 

Characters describing themselves by looking in a mirror.  

Characters describing themselves and their entire backstory in the first chapter.  

Abusive parents that seem to hate their children.  

Sleeping and waking at the beginning and end of each chapter.  

Blond Popular Girl Rival 

Vague dreams that tell the future.  

Countdown clocks.  

Introducing a character a mere chapter before they become relevant to the plot.  

The Love Triangle  

Bad boys 

Ends with the couple getting married. 

Conflicts that spawn from literally nothing.  

The Mary Sue 

Female Inconsistency Syndrome (See my chapter on it)

Loving the boy band music of the band you'll end up running into.  

Hating a boy when you first meet, only to fall in love later. 

Guy basically stalks girl, showing up wherever she is.

Dystopian Society ruled by a single regime.  

The training sequence where someone becomes a capable fighter over like 2-3 chapters.  

Characters are All Flawless in appearance, supernaturally beautiful..  

Falling in love with best friend. 

Best friend one sided-ly in love with protagonist.

Boy formerly in a gang.  

Girl gets attacked by his gang rivals.

Boy obsessed with protecting a girl he barely knows. 

The near rape scene of the heroine, where the hero rescues her. 

Bad boys with a heart of gold.  

Players who think the heroine is abnormally special compared to all the other girls they sleep with. 

A disease that functions more like a character quirk.  

Love at first sight, or at least within days... no long growing relationships here.  

Clumsy women. 

Low self-esteem women 

Girls complaining about how ugly they are.  

Werewolves and Vampire love interests. 

Any supernatural love interest where one party is human and the other is supernatural.

The human party becomes supernatural somehow. 

Alpha Male in control of order.  

Good Versus evil plots.  

The brooding male that gets 'fixed' by the woman's love 

Damsel in Distress 

Girl willing to give up her life, family, and friends for one guy she just met.  

Dad is the evil bad guy.  

Oblivious or nonexistent parents 

Girl and boy hate each other for years, suddenly now in love.  

Girl knows she's pregnant the next day.  

White washing 

Only in class when love interest is in class.  

No chemistry between couples.  

Days have an infinite amount of time.  

Girl's friends are empty shells of people. 

Disposable friends. 

Plot conveniently disposable parents. 

Girl has that one kooky crazy friend that supports her and gets her to do crazy stuff.  

The guy is popular in school, even when he's a brooding bad boy.

The bitchy, hateful monster of a girl is the most popular girl in school... somehow.   

The verbal war between the girl and guy when they first meet.  

Everyone is manic with personality disorders.  

Male teachers always in there young 20s.  

Plans usually happen exactly how they make them.  

The main character is hilarious, no matter how lame their jokes are.  

Story starts with girl moving to new school on the first day.  

She meets about everyone who is relevant to the story on that first day. 

Someone introduces her to everyone that is going to become relevant on that first day. 

The person who does the introductions is the least relevant person to the plot. Sometimes becomes the best friend, but more often become a disposable friend never heard from again.  

Complete and random character changes. A perfectly nice person turns evil out of nowhere or vice versa.  

Fantasy 

The chosen one that saves the world.  

Hero is related to the 'bad guy'. 

"Bad guy' is hero's mentor.  

Unnecessary romance shoed in.  

Sentient animal races that act and think just like humans. 

Appearance stereotyping. Blonde = good, black hair = bad. White is good. Black/Red is bad. 

Magic babies that grow faster than 9 months and are somehow different/super.  

Entire cultures resemble preexisting earth culture.  

Civilizations with no change or history in thousands of years. Same countries, same language, same ideas.  

Coming of age, hero starts out as an adolescent and eventually grows into an adult.  

Perfect Heroes 

Hero has 1 or more parents dead.  

Horses used like someone would use a car.  

Everyone speaks the same language.  

The mentor who teaches the peasant boy.  

Standard Mythical creatures, Dragons, Elves, Dwarves... 

Ridiculus Fantasy sounding names, Like Alo'ndin'thiemine 

Songs and jigs put into the story.  

Prophesies 

Every race has a single social structure, culture, and personality type.  

Every race seems to exemplify certain human traits.  

Swords, the main character always learns the sword.  

The demon king or dark lord who wants to destroy everyone. He always has an entire race of beings that is totally loyal to him.  

Heroes have situation dependent abilities. One minute he's having trouble fighting even one bad guy, the next minute he can defeat a god.

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