Pov. Yoongi
My mind comes back to the real world. No more memories about how I met my boyfriend. I don't want to keep bringing those scenes back. And it's not that I regret my feelings for him. I love him. I always will.
He's the one that gave me some of the most beautiful moments in life. He's each day more beautiful and funnier and stronger. But...he never shows me if he loves me. He never says it. He never even tries.
He keeps pretending like his life and mine are not going through the same path. Even if he lives with me, he keeps saying we're living one day at the time. No future planned together. No conversations about weddings, children...or a mark.
He keeps saying he can handle every problem by himself and I'm just there to see him do it. It's frustrating. I understand he needs time. I understand trusting Alphas is hard for him and I'm not expecting for him to say "Hey, mark me! Marry me! Be my Alpha!" because I'm not stupid.
But I want to know...if that will ever happen. If he will ever say anything close to those lines. If all of this is worth the try. I hear him coming to the kitchen while he talks on the phone. I have to have the courage to have this conversation. I can't keep hiding it anymore.
- Oh, believe me Jin, once you're there you'll understand everything! Yeah...yeah, okay! See you there then!
He hangs up the phone and is ready to go back to the room to get his things. But I finally let my voice be heard. This is not gonna go well
- Jimin, we need to talk
- I have to go meet Jin. We are going to the Omega's March
- I don't think I can do this anymore
My tone alerts him. For a moment he looks at me shocked and scared. But it's only a second. Then, as always, just a serious face. He stands in front of me and crosses his arms
- Okay. I'm listening
- I don't know if I can be your boyfriend anymore. - He doesn't interrupt, he waits - And it's not that I don't love you. If anything... it's the exact opposite
- That you love me too much?
- That you don't love me at all. That you can't even say you're my Omega and keep calling yourself my 'boyfriend'. You insist so much in not thinking of our future that I...I can't see myself spending my life with you either.
- I don't know what you want me to say
- Oh, please stop using that tone! Just admit you don't love me so I can give up! Just tell me how things are, even though I already know! And for fuck's sake be honest when you say it. I mean, just answer me this... are you ever gonna trust me, Jimin?!
He stays silent for a moment. His arms relax and he lets out a deep breath. He counts to 10 softly and I get scared. Did I give him an anxiety attack? Is he okay? Should I get close? Should I-
- Fine. I'll be clear then. - He looks up, not crying...yet - I trust you. As a friend, I trust you. As a boyfriend, I trust you. As a human, I trust you. As an Alpha...I don't.
- W-What? But Jimin I would never do anything to-
- To hurt me? No. You wouldn't. I know that. I know you won't hurt me nor any Omega that you get near. But you know what the problem is? - Frustration starts getting the best of him - You're part of the problem.
- I didn't do anything!
- EXACTLY, YOONGI! Listen to me...Every single Omega knows another Omega who's been abused in one or other way. And yet Alphas never seem to know any abuser. You know why? Because they shut. The fuck. Up.
- Jimin...
- The first time you saw me you came with your friends. All of them made my classmates uncomfortable and you knew it even then. And you did nothing until I asked you to. You've been friends with Ken since highschool and you never told him the way he treats Jin is not right. I'm not even saying you should fight with them! But you never said 'hey, that's fucked up'. You never asked Jin 'Are you okay? Are you uncomfortable? Do you need help?'
- I-It's not that big deal, right? I mean I can change that but I don't think I can change the world by saying 'stop'
- You don't? If you, an Alpha with privileges doesn't have faith, what should I do? Should I just not wait for a decent Alpha that stands for my rights?! Because they don't exist, right?
- That's not what I said
- And what did you say? You can't change things. You wanna stay here and just say "good luck fighting for your rights, Jimin! When you're back make sure to love me!"?
- That's not... I'm not trying to pressure you. I just wanna know if you'll ever consider me as...you know... something more
- I don't know. I genuinely don't know. Yoongi...Where was I gonna go today?
- A march
- Why?
- Because... because...I don't know
- Because an Alpha killed a girl Omega. He was a police officer and his co-workers helped him get out of jail. Me and every Omega around me hear shit like this every day of our lives knowing we could be next. And yes, you call me strong for fighting against it but why the fuck don't you fight with me? For me, that Omega is another sister I lost. What is she for you?
I feel like a fucking idiot. I have no answer. I never paid much attention to the Omega movement. I never thought they were wrong. But I never played a part in it. Jimin talks one more time, since there's only silence on my side.
- It's not that I can't trust you, Yoongi. Is that I don't want to. I don't want to risk myself to trust another Alpha that won't do shit. You're sweet. You're adorable. You treat me nice. You're the best Alpha I've ever met. But there's a chance that one day I go out and don't come back. And I can't love someone that won't fight for that not to happen.
He leaves the kitchen with tears rolling down his cheeks. I hear our bedroom door get closed and I know he's getting his things. I know he'll leave soon. And now...what should I do?
Next Chapter
Did you see the video?
I can't play dumb with this
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I love this chapter. I actually had this conversation with my partner once.
I know you wanna see the outcome of this...but next Chapter is Namjoon hahaha is time to learn a little bit about his past as well
See you soon! Either Wednesday or Friday!
- Baby Y