I mean, I did tell Mr Kim that my apartment was messy but I didn't mean it this literally. Usually when you tell people your apartment is messy, it means that you forgot to sweep the floor or left your 2 day old lasagna out on the counter, not literally having feathers covering the entire hallway.
But I could somehow sense that they had picked up some stuff, like their socks that were laying around in the hallway before and their shoes at the entrance were nowhere to be found.
"You had friends over?". Non other then the emotionless, bipolar, psychological Mr Kim asked me.
"Ehh- yeah, we had a small pillow fight". I lied to him.
I don't want to deal with Mr Kim right now, especially because he is the person I would most likely want to avoid if those stories that Taehyung had told me are really true, this man is mad, he is the one that made the boys to turn out this way.
But I know that I can't blame my hate towards the boys on Mr Kim, I shouldn't connect those painful actions that the boys have done towards me with how they were raised, I know they have a mind on their own. And everyone knows that those things they have done aren't normal, so no, I won't forget about them so easily, but I can empathize.
Mr Kim was probably very awful towards them, breaking them mentally and physically, no one as a child should experience that. He probably has shown me a different side of himself, just so that he can drag me along in this crazy world. That's actually something that makes me angry, acting like another person in front of my eyes.
2 faced people, those are the most dangerous ones.
I don't even get how I didn't realize sooner how crazy Mr Kim really is, of course Mr Kim plays a big part in it, it's his game after all.
He is actually the person who caused all this suffering upon me. If this bastard could just raise his kids properly or just would've never met my 'mom', it would've saved me a lot of sweat and tears.
But no this men decided to drag me into this life, into that mansion, into this cursed family, into his mafia business.
"The chicken is getting cold, lets get some plates out". Mr Kim said as he walked towards the kitchen, welcoming himself into my apartment.
I followed him behind with a mocking face, really not getting convinced by his little 'lets talk over some fried chicken' plan.
As I followed him behind, I looked down at my phone, still seeing Yoongi's name on my screen. Without hesitation, I put my finger down on the red button, cutting off the call. It wasn't necessary because I feel save with Mr Kim alone, it's because I think they deserve to get silenced by me. Yes I somehow regret how I acted towards them, and we need to talk things out, but for now they don't have the right to know everything.
I know that they want to know why Mr Kim is here, but just because sympathize about their past, it doesn't mean I forget about our past together.
I will just let them be in the dark for once and if they are that eager to find out about our talk, they can risk their own life to get caught.
I silently followed Mr Kim behind but just right before he entered the kitchen, Mr Kim stopped, also making me stop and giving him a confused look.
He sniffed. "It smells musty here". He said. "Haven't you opened a window for weeks?". He asked, maybe he started smelling his own nonsense.
"It's probably the chicken". I said pointing at the chicken. I know that the smell isn't from the chicken because there are freaking 7 boys plus 1 girl who are living in a small space, of course it's gonna smell.
But why would I tell him that? I don't want Mr Kim to know who are in this apartment at the moment, that would ruin the whole purpose of letting them in and I won't let my precious time be wasted for nothing.
I'm actually still wondering why they have to hide from him. I don't have any idea on how the boys and Mr Kim had come in a fight, but I'm sure it isn't a simple fight on where to go out for dinner.
This man, Mr Kim, sure has something weird running through his veins, maybe even my veins, but I rather die then to know if his blood is also running through mine.
Like wouldn't that be awful, being the daughter of a bipolar psychopath and then also adding 3 FULL blood brothers to the list too?
I almost have to throw up, only by thinking about it.
Mr Kim will never be my dad.
And I will never want to find out either.
As we entered the kitchen, Mr Kim put the chicken on the kitchen island. I'm sure he has something big to ask me, because there is no other way then this looking like he is trying to convince me.
Like the last time he had brought fried chicken on the table, was to tell me we would go to the meeting and that didn't end well.
I then walked around the kitchen island, got a glass and filled it with water. I looked at Mr Kim, leaning against the counter, looking at him until he would finally speak up.
"So, how have you been doing?". Mr Kim asked as he looked at me while I drank some water from my glass.
"Could've been better". I'm not gonna lie to this man, he can know what he has partially caused. "Maybe if my mom was still around, I would've been better". I said, emphasizing the word mom.
He should know what he has caused and I think he knows that well enough. But I don't think I ever got a real good apology from him after my mom died, only a stupid contract.
"We can't bring back the dead ones by blaming others, Y/n-ssi". Mr Kim said.
Wait, repeat that again.
Is this man freaking serious!!!?
Is he acting like he is innocent now?
He knows well enough that my mom is dead because of the many enemies he has made.
"Blaming!?". I asked absurdly. "I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just telling the truth". I said as I couldn't hold my anger back and smashed my glass down on the counter roughly, causing for it to break in my hand.
My mom is a sensitive subject no one can talk bad about her. Moms are worth the most in this entire world, they are the ones that raise us, the ones that brought us to life.
And I know that I should've never crossed the line talking about Seokjin's mom like that, it's my mom after all but now I know how painful it is to hear it leave someone's mouth.
"Tell me, if you didn't take me to your 'meeting', if you wouldn't be involved in the mafia, if you hadn't married her, that my mom would still be alive!". I said madly, my voice filled with hate.
The blame is all on Mr Kim, he has caused this all and there is nothing that can change my mind.
I think that Taehyung has added a spark to my fuel for my hate against Mr Kim, I already didn't like him, always trying to sweet-talk me. But now I got to know more about the real Mr Kim, it's honestly sickening.
I hate him, he is the real cause that my mom isn't here with me, not next to me, not here to support me, not here to give advice, not here to see me grow into an adult, not here to give me hugs when I need them the most, she's gone.
"You know that she wasn't your real mom. Did you want that lie to be kept a secret to you for the rest of your life?". Mr Kim said, that's just brutal, this man really got no heart.
"I don't care if she isn't my real mom!". I screamed at him. "She acted like one, was there for me when I needed her, she raised me, she loved me! I don't care what blood is running through me but even if your blood is running through mine, she will still be more like family then you will ever be!". I screamed at him.
"Y/n..". He said calmly, with a hint of a warning tone.
"No! You know that coming to my house with food that I like, doesn't solve anything that you've done! You can shove the f*cking chicken down your f*cking throat of yours if you really think you can fix things with it!". I interrupted him. "I'm not going to play along any longer with your games. Just tell me what you're here for and leave, I don't want your sweet talks. I just want to know why you're here and then you can disappear from my life again". I said angrily.
I saw that Mr Kim didn't like my attitude towards him, he is having a hard time controlling himself as I saw his hands turning into fists.
"I'm here to ask you for a favor-". He started.
"No, I'm not going to do a single f*cking thing for you because I'm always the one who has to suffer". I cut him off, shaking my head and pushing myself away from the counter. "If that was all, you can leave now". I said.
Mr Kim took in a deep breath, trying to keep himself in. He's indeed crazy. "I was here to ask you for a favor, but now that I think about it, I'm going to give you two options". Mr Kim started calmly. "One: move back in with us". He said.
I rather die then move back in. He thinks that I'm willing to live with 8 psychopaths?
"Or two: do a DNA-test for me to see who your real family is".
No.
No! I'm not going to do a stupid DNA-test. I don't want to know if I'm really his daughter, I don't want to know who's daughter I really am. I just want to live in peace, that's all, just peace. I have thought about it for the last few months, if I would really want to know the truth about me, but I don't want to. It will only make thinks more complicated.
What if I'm really his daughter? What could he be capable of? He could use it to get full custody of me, use it to manipulate me, put me in more danger by just being his daughter but it will mainly satisfy him.
At this moment I'm even more against this idea, I'm sure if the DNA-test turns out positive, he will take all power over me and if it doesn't, I don't even wanna know what's going to happen, I'm probably going to be found dead in my grave soon.
But besides that, I want the image that I've build up about my family to be the only truth: that my dad died when I was still young and that I got raised by my mom.
I can't take another change in my life, even if it's the truth. I just don't want to know. I want my dad to be what he has been for most of my life, dead. The only thing I can hang on is the truth that I know, I don't want anything to change that, even if the DNA-test turns out to be that I'm indeed the child of the person I've always thought was my dad.
I just don't want it, the real truth is just too much for me now. And now that Mr Kim hasn't the best status in my eyes, I want the truth to be as far away as possible.
"No". I said. "I'm not going to do a DNA-test". He just should've been more careful about using a condom in the past, why does it have to be my problem now?
It's always the innocent ones that have to make the big offers.
"Then pack your bags, it's time for you to move back in". Mr Kim said, having his 'nice' act washed off.
"I guess you should drag me out then". I said full hatred.
"Don't try to get my bad side out". Mr Kim warned, as he came to my side of the counter.
"You mean your real side?". I said, as I also stepped his way. I'm not afraid of him — well at least not now.
He then wrapped his hand around my right wrist, pulling me closer while holding it tightly as he clanged his jaw, looking at me angrily. We were both staring at each other until there was a sound coming from my room.
We heard something fall onto the ground and I saw Mr Kim snatching his head towards the hallway.
Not. F*cking. Now.
"What was that?". He said as he let go of my wrist and walked towards the hallway.
My heart had stopped for a moment, what are they doing? Is it really that hard not to make a sound?
I quickly followed him behind and stopped him as he put his hand on the doorknob of my bedroom door.
"What are you doing?". I asked as I pulled his hand away from the doorknob.
"We both clearly heard something, I'm sure you won't mind me looking for the source, unless you're hiding something". Mr Kim said.
"I'm not hiding anything, so there is nothing to look for". I told him.
"Then lets see". Mr Kim said as he pushed down the doorknob and opened the door before I could even stop him.
As the door flew open, we were met with my room just how I left it, only now there was a book that was laying on the floor next to the bookshelf.
Phew.
Really, I'm helping out these boys here and they are dumb enough to let a freaking book fall onto the ground, I thought that they were trained for things like this.
"See, it was a book". I said as I walked towards the book and picked it up. Mr Kim also stepped into my room and looked around, looking for just a hind of something or someone.
I put the book down on my desk and looked Mr Kim's way. "I think you've been here for too long now, it's time for you to leave". I told him before he could look around my room even more or into my bathroom or closet.
Mr Kim gave me a small grin. "Of course... I have somewhere else to be". He said as he gave a last look over my room and left my bedroom.
I followed him behind to the front door, crossing my arms.
Mr Kim stopped and turned around to me. "I'm looking forward to seeing you around in the mansion soon, Y/n". Mr Kim said as he opened the door. "I will send someone over to move your things out...".
"Unless you change your mind". He said and after that he left my apartment and closed the door behind him.
I was frozen on my spot. He really is sending me back to the mansion.
Why is it so important for him to know if he is my real dad? So that he can also take control over me? So that he can treat me like he does with his sons? Or just so that he can make his empire bigger?
I just looked at the plain door in front of me, processing the situation that just happened.
Am I really going to go back?
I don't want to, but I don't think I have a choice...
After a minute or so, I heard some rumblings coming from my bedroom.
I hadn't heard any footsteps entering the hallway yet but the sudden presence behind me pulled me back. I felt a body standing against my back and a hand getting placed on my shoulder.
"Thank you". A voice whisper in my ear. I quickly shook the hand away from my shoulder and turned around, getting faced with Jimin.
I also saw the others standing in the hallway, looking my way, some had a surprised look on their face, probably because I just covered for their asses and the others were looking down at my hand.
I followed their gazes, wondering why they were looking down at my hand. I pulled my hand up and saw it being covered in blood, gosh how didn't I notice this before?
I saw some sharps in my hand, probably from the glass I had broken a few minutes ago. "You're welcome for covering your guys's asses". I said and then left the hallway into the kitchen.
I sighed as I held my hand above the sink and started to fish out the sharps that got stuck in my skin.
I suddenly felt a hand pulling my hand away from the sink and putting me on the counter. "Don't pull them out like that, you will only make if worse". Seokjin said as he suddenly pulled a first aid kit out of nowhere.
He then got a tweezer out and held my hand in the light while pulling out the sharps. "Really this girl is one minute alone and she has already a bleeding hand". Seokjin said underneath his breath to himself as he shook his head unapprovingly.
"Ou-ouch". I said, trying to pull away my hand as he tried to pull out a sharp that got deep into my skin.
"Don't move your hand". Seokjin sighed as he then quickly pulled out the sharp.
"Ouch, that hurts". I said as I felt the pain going through my hand. "Let me do it myself". I said as I put my hand around the tweezers in Seokjin's hand.
"Don't". He said, pulling the tweezers back.
"While you're cleaning her hand, clean her wrist as well". Taehyung said as he and the others were watching me and Seokjin.
"What do you mean clean her wrist?". Seokjin asked.
Then Taehyung walked towards us, getting my left hand and pulling my sleeve up before I could even stop him. "This is what I mean". He said.
I saw all the boys in the kitchen, trying to get a look of what Taehyung is showing Seokjin but before they could, I pulled my arm away and pushed myself off the counter.
"Yah! I'm not done yet". Seokjin said.
Well I am. I don't want a situation that will lead up to us having a fight again. I have mixed feelings towards them. I hate them, I feel sympathetic towards them, I feel annoyed by them, it's confusing and I don't want to be bothered by them right now.
"Lets call it a day and have a talk tomorrow". I sighed. "There are noodles in that bag for the ones that are hungry". I said pointing to the bag as I started heading out of the kitchen. My whole plan of talking with them over some noodles is also ruined as I'm out of energy right now.
But Hoseok blocked my way. "Why not have a talk now? We want answers". He said as he then put his hands around my waist, lifting me up and placing me back on the counter next to Seokjin.
I sighed, of course they are not gonna let me out of this without getting the things that they want, stubborn rats.
Seokjin then pulled up my sleeve again. "First question: what's this?". He asked.
"A wound". I told him.
"I can see that myself, Sherlock". He said.
"Then why ask?". I asked annoyed. I can already sense what's going to happen: I have done something 'wrong' in their eyes, they get mad, they ask me questions, I answer them, we nag around, they get annoyed, we get into a discussion, then we fight and then we make the whole circle again.
Seokjin sighed annoyed. "What did you do?". He changed his question.
"I cut it on accident". I said plainly.
"On accident?". Namjoon raised his eyebrow, nearing us to look at the wound.
"Yes, on accident". I said.
"Sure". Seokjin sighed, not believing my lie but still taking my arm to clean the wound for as much as he still can.
The kitchen got filled with silence for a second.
Then Yoongi walked towards the grocery bag. "Who wants some noodles?". He asked, the others all replied and then everyone started doing their own thing again, finally pulling all the attention away from me.
On the other side of the kitchen, I saw Yoongi and Jimin starting to make the noodles, Namjoon and Hoseok moved over to the living room, Taehyung happily got the kimchi out and started already eating it on its own and Jungkook moved over besides me as he looked at Seokjin cleaning my wound.
"Tell me that you don't have any other wounds". Jungkook then said and started inspecting my body for any other wounds.
"I don't". I sighed and looked down at my wrist as Seokjin was cleaning it with a concentrated look on his face.
He kinda looked annoyed by me but he was still cleaning my wound patiently. Once in a while, I saw Seokjin scrunching up his eyebrows, making wrinkles appear on his forehead as he was concentrating on my wrist.
"Can I ask you something?". I asked him after a few minutes.
"You just did". He said as he pulled something out of my already healing wound that wasn't supposed to be there.
"Did Mr Kim also teach you how to clean wounds at a young age?". I asked him.
He looked away from my wrist for a second, looking at me confused before he looked down again. "What do you mean?". He asked.
"Taehyung-ssi told me about your past... Did Mr Kim also teach you this?". I asked him again.
I felt Jungkook and Seokjin both tensing up as they heard what I said. Seokjin took a glance at Taehyung and then back at my wrist again. "No, he didn't". Seokjin said quietly.
"Then how come that you're so good at it?". I asked as he had told me he had also cleaned the wounds of his brothers last night, which you can't even notice right now.
"Because we got injured a lot and someone had to take care of them". He said as he put some alcohol on a cotton pad and started pressing it down on my wound.
"Did Taehyung-ssi also tell you about-...". Jungkook then spoke up but didn't finish his question.
"About you growing up in prison?". I asked, finishing his question.
Jungkook looked at me and then at Taehyung with a sad an betrayed look on his face. He opened his mouth but closed it again before swallowing and then left us without saying anything, disappearing into the hallway.
I followed him with my eyes, what is that for kind of reaction?
"Don't mind him". Seokjin said as he got out a big bandage and put it on my wound. "It took him a year until he told us about his past". Seokjin said as he also started putting the alcoholic cleaning stuff on my hand.
"Ohw...". I said and it was quiet again for a few seconds. "Why did you guys actually have a fight with Mr Kim, your never told me?". I then asked, breaking the silence in the kitchen.
Seokjin took in a deep breath, looked at the 3 other brothers that were in the kitchen and then spoke. "It was about you". He said.
———