THE LETTER
Guess my mind is a prison
And I'm never gonna get out.
***
CHAPTER X
*****
I HAD WOKEN up hours before the sun had even began to rise. I was never the type of person that felt comfortable with sleeping in places I wasn't used to. Even though I had spent five years in that same exact room and adored it, I wasn't used to it anymore.
There was too much pink, the mattress made too much noise when I moved and there were just too many bad memories associated with it. Maybe the room was nice, but I couldn't see it anymore. The beauty of my old space that had been left unchanged in my absence was the last thing I was seeking out.
I carefully slipped out of bed, taking more time than I usually would've because I didn't want Mateo to wake up. It was still early in the morning and the sky, although lighter, was still a dark shade of blue while the horizon glistened with red.
I looked away from the open window and instead walked around the room slowly, listening to the music that the wooden floorboards made as it creaked under my weight. To anybody else, I would have looked like a mad woman but I knew what I was doing.
I walked over a floorboard that dipped and creaked way too much to be safe, but instead of worrying about my safety, I only smiled and looked down.
“Bingo.”
I got down on my hands and knees and began prying the floorboard open. It didn't take long before it finally slipped out of its slot and revealed to me the countless brown paper bags under it. Each paper bag holding something close to ten thousand dollars... give or take.
I stared down at the money, wondering what it proved to me. Well, for one it proved that my room had truly been left untouched and absolutely nothing had changed. After that, I had no idea.
“Why did I go on this goose chase?” I asked myself as I stared down at the money. “What does this do for me?”
What was I planning to do with the money when I worked there? Did I want to go to college? Buy a house? Start a business with it? How could I be so unstable when I had so much money?
“Momma?”
I snapped my head up at the tiny voice that came from the other side of the room and felt my anger subside as I looked at Mateo.
“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” I muttered softly, already used to soothing him back to bed whenever he woke during the night. “Mommy's right here with you.”
He stared at me as I slipped the floorboard back into place, completely ignoring my soothing words. With a sigh, I stood up and decided that it probably wasn't too early to start our day anyway. I would just tire him out and settle him down for a nap during the afternoon.
I walked over to him, making him sit up and become alert immediately. With a soft smile, I flicked his nose and said, “Good morning.”
“Mowning,” he giggled, holding his nose in his hands.
“How did you sleep, mister?” I asked, scooping him up into my arms and beginning to make my way towards the bathroom to give him a bath. Instead of answering, he just rested his head on my shoulder. “You don't want to talk to me?”
I felt him shake his head against my neck and laughed.
Children were so weird.
I refrained from making that comment and instead continued on to the bathroom. Upon reaching, I realised that we were going to have a problem.
I couldn't give Teo a bath in the shower unless I was going to use the sink instead. And there was no way I was going to put my child in the small, nasty sink that stared back at me.
This was the only bathroom I had ever used when I worked there so it was the only one I really felt comfortable with, but I guess comfort meant nothing to me when I started climbing the stairs, making my way straight to Daniel's room.
The same tacky paintings and antique vases with fake plants decorated the hallway, making the memories from two years ago come back. I could still remember the last time I walked down this very hallway.
I shook the grotesque and probably exaggerated image of myself dying from rat poison out of my head and stopped in front of Daniel's room. I reached towards the doorknob, ready to open it before catching myself and stepping back.
Maybe two years ago we were close enough for me to just barge into his room like I owned it, but that was two years in the past. Things were different; everything had changed.
“Should I knock?” I asked Teo as I knocked on the door anyway. He still nodded his head, not seeing a reason to not answer me.
There was shuffling behind the door, but nobody made a move to answer it or even call out to me to come in. I knew he was in there though - I could hear him walking around, picking and dropping stuff.
And if he thought I couldn't, I was a mother. How did he think I caught the boy when he was up to no good?
“Daniel,” I called out, knocking again.
All movement in the room seized and for a minute, I thought he had collapsed and died. I realised that he had, unfortunately, not because there would have to be some kind of thud heard.
“Come in.”
His voice was low and sent a shiver down my spine that I tried my best to hide. Composing myself, I turned the handle and let myself into his room, letting my eyes scan over my new surroundings.
Of course, it was the same from last night, but now Daniel was in sight, rummaging through his closet for something to wear I assumed. I was surprised that he was up this early even though I knew I shouldn't have been. Sleeping troubles seemed to be a generational curse.
His exposed body glistened with water, the after affects of a shower and he had a towel draped dangerously loose around his waist. His curly hair was soaked to the point where his curls were weighed down and looked like waves instead.
“Can I give Teo a bath in your bathtub?” I asked, bouncing him up higher as if that would make Daniel see him anymore.
He looked away from his closet to us instead and I felt my body heat up from having his eyes on me. He looked at Mateo for a brief second before looking back at me and shrugging.
I took that as a yes and made my way straight over to the bathroom, just wanting the awkward conversation to end.
Teo wasn't the most fond of taking baths since I usually called him for one when he was doing something else. This time, he didn't put up a fight and stayed relatively calm
When we had finished, I wrapped him up in a warm towel that I had left on the towel rack before walking out of the bathroom and back into the room only to freeze at the doorframe.
Teo remained oblivious to why I had stopped walking, him pulling my hair being the thing that broke me out of my shock. I smiled at him and took my hair out of his grasp before turning back to Daniel who I was surprised to see was still there.
He was dressed now with his hair styled back and his white shirt tucked into his dark suit pants. Even then, half of his shirt was unbuttoned and his tie looked like it had been done up but then untied in the last minute. There was a frown on his lips as he stared down at his phone.
“Is everything alright?” I found myself blurting out.
He hadn't even looked at me as he answered, “My meeting's cancelled.”
“Oh.”
What else was I supposed to say? That I couldn't care less even though I had asked? That I was upset for him? I couldn't run around and jump in glee either because the days when his presence had made me happy were gone.
He looked up at me at my words and scrutinised me with his eyes before looking to Mateo who was minding his own business, sucking his thumb at my side.
“Give me him.”
I rolled my eyes and held Mateo closer to me as if he was going to come up and snatch him from my arms. “Unless you're going to change him—”
“I will. Give him to me.”
His words took me by surprise and I raised my eyebrows as I slowly walked towards him. I searched my brain for any other reason why I shouldn't leave Teo in his care, but came up short.
“He has no clothes so—”
“I'll sort it out,” he cut me off again, making me want to punch him. “Give him to me. Then you can go shower.”
Was that his way of telling me I stank? Well fuck you too, bitch.
I bit back my resentment for him and instead placed Teo who was still bundled up in the white towel on his lap. He looked up at me with wide, brown, curious eyes, probably wondering why I had left him with someone he wasn't familiar with.
“I'll be right back, baby,” I said, crouching down to place a kiss on his nose to which he giggled at. I placed my hands on Daniel's thigh to keep me grounded and looked back at Teo after looking at him to see if he was okay with it. “You'll spend more time with... with Danny so I can go shower.”
I could feel Daniel's glare on me from where I was, but I only pushed onto my feet with a smirk and turned around to walk into the bathroom. He could get moody all he wanted - what he didn't realise was that he was messing with a real petty bitch.
***
Stepping out of the shower half an hour later, I was met with an empty room and a white dressed laid out onto the bed. I was reluctant to take it and wear it because I wasn't sure if he had left it out with the intentions of giving it to me. For all I knew, it could've been some gift for the girl he was with - which was a very real possibility.
While I was away, I was with other men instead of dwelling on him so I didn't expect him to dwell on me. Especially after what he did. I doubted he cared, but everything he's been doing since we met made it almost seem like he did.
I wasn't going to fall into that trap again. Daniel was as manipulative as they came and now I knew that. I picked up the dress and slipped it on. I could put on underwear once I got to my old room.
I ran down the stairs and made a beeline to the kitchen in my barefeet, knowing that that was the best place to get a view of the front yard and the cars parked there.
“Araceli?” Margie's familiar voice called out, making me turn to her with a smile. “What are you doing?” Her gaze diverted to my barefeet against the tiled ground and I suddenly knew where the conversation was going to go. “No socks, no slippers, no shoes on? You'll catch a cold, you silly child.”
I rolled my eyes inwardly because I severely doubted that but kept my thoughts to myself and instead asked her a more pressing question.
“Do you know where Mateo is?” I asked her, making a smile break out onto her face.
“Mateo? I saw him leaving the house with his father about ten minutes ago.”
“His father?” It took a while for her words to register because I had never heard Daniel been called Teo's father. I had said it a lot, but hearing it had a different kind of flavour in my mouth and I wasn't too sure whether I liked it or not.
“Yes, his father,” a third voice joined the conversation, making me look to Lucy who had entered the kitchen. “You know, Daniel right? But then again, maybe he isn't really the father.”
“Nonsense!” Margaretta exclaimed before I could begin tearing into her. “Have you seen that child at all? If he isn't Daniel's son, then Daniel must have a twin.”
“But Daniel doesn't have a twin.”
“Exactly my point,” she said, walking past the both of us into the kitchen to start cooking. “What you said right now was very stupid and very confident.”
“Whatever,” she muttered before joining La Bruja in cooking.
I let the silence sit for a while before speaking up again. “Do you think that Daniel would mind if I use his office for work?”
“Work?” Lucy asked, looking at me in shock. “You work?”
“Yes, I'm a professional beggar,” I rolled my eyes. “That's how I pay my rent and my bills.”
“I just thought that Daniel would cover all of those things for you, that's all, ” she said, shrugging. “It's what most people like him would do for their kids. Unless, of course, he doesn't actually have kids.”
I glared at the back of her head, wanting to beat some sense into her before rolling my eyes and dropping it. I did not have the mental stamina for her in that moment so her and her views and Mateo's paternity could go fuck each other.
“Um... anyways, would I be able to use his office?”
Margaretta glared at her longer before turning to me with a small smile.
“I'm sure he won't mind. As long as you leave everything as it was.”
I nodded in response but said nothing else. Instead, I picked up some fresh onions, a knife and a chopping board and went to work.
None of them seemed to have bat an eye. It was almost like I fit right in.
***
After eating breakfast, I wasted no time in freshening up and heading over to Daniel's office. I had asked Margaretta to let me know when Daniel and Mateo returned but by the looks of it, they weren't coming back anytime soon.
I didn't let it bother me. Instead, I took it as some much needed time to submerge myself in my work again and answer the questions that had been burning at the back of my my mind since we had left. How was I going to work from California when my entire brand was based in New York?
I flopped onto Daniel's desk chair and spun around for a bit before picking up my phone and dialling my boss' number. He picked up on the second ring, unsurprisingly, and wasted no time in bombarding me with questions.
“Araceli? Where are you? Are you at the safe house yet? Why did it take so long to return my missed calls? Why didn't you answer my texts? Are you okay? Do they have you? Holy shit, what if this is a ransom call?”
“I'm fine, Travis.” I could almost hear him breathe out in relief at the sound of my mocking voice. “Both Mateo and I are fine and out of the reach of kidnappers, thanks for your concern.” I picked up a random pen from the desk and twirled it between my index and middle finger. “I just decided to take an impromptu trip across the country. I reckoned it would be safer.”
“Are you sure?” I could hear the trepidation in his voice. “What if they traced you or something?”
“I am safe, Travis. I can take care of myself.” I purposely left the part about Daniel protecting me out of it because to them, Daniel was the one I needed protection from.
I didn't want to start explaining how I had been attacked in my own home by people that weren't a part of Daniel's group because I didn't know how to. I thought that this part of the threat had disappeared when I had left California so I never told Morgan or Derek about it.
I knew that I had already painted myself black with the fact that I had been with Daniel and I was carrying his child. For all my paranoid brain knew, they could have suspected me and thought I was a spy.
Adding on to the list of people who wanted me dead was only going to make me look bad. And opening up about it now would only make me look worse.
Maybe when I had myself fully sorted out, I would let them know. Unfortunately, I didn't know when that day would come but I remained hopeful only for the sake of Mateo.
He stayed silent for a while, making my heart beat harder in my chest until finally he had spoken up.
“If you insist,” he finally said reluctantly, sounding like it was hard for him to accept while I tried to not come off too happy. At the end of the day, I was stuck with Daniel so there was nothing really to be happy about. “If you need anything, just let me know.”
“I will,” I said, only to put him at ease. “And don't tell Derek?”
“He'll find out anyway.”
“I know. Just let me tell him myself okay? You know how protective he gets...” I trailed off, making my voice extra soft so he agreed. Being the youngest out of the group of them meant it worked seventy-five per cent of the time.
Travis let out a loud frustrated sigh that brought me the image of him pulling on his blonde hair. “The things you have me do, babe.”
“Relájate, chico. All I'm asking is for you to not run your mouth like a little bitch, that's all.” [Relax, boy]
“Weren't you begging just now?”
“Oh yeah... Please.”
I could hear him chuckle on the other side of the line and found myself missing the sight of his smile for a second.
“Whatever you want,” he said, humour still evident in his voice. “Now, I'll make a call to the executives for an impromptu meeting and we'll start talking business, okay?” I nodded as if he could see me. “Be prepared to take the call. We'll have you on screen.”
I nodded again and once the call cut, I turned to the computer in front of me, ready to begin a long day of work.
***
I had been given a new client. A high profile client that was well known in the film industry.
Heidi Flynn Lockwood.
I didn't know her well, but I heard her name a few times on some gossip shows. On a normal day, I wouldn't really care but today, I was ecstatic because she would be my first A-list client.
According to Travis, she had been the one to reach out to me. She was having an engagement party and didn't want anyone going with the same designer name she was going with so she decided to got for a lesser known person.
Constantine Cruz, or in other words, me.
This was the boost I didn't know I needed. Business had never really been slow, but I knew once the media got the name of the designer that made the dress, business would only pick up.
The board meeting had ended half an hour ago and instead, it was just Travis' exhausted face staring back at me as we spoke about the plans for the near future.
“She said she doesn't mind meeting with you in her home if that's okay with you,” he said in regards to my meeting with Heidi. “She lives in Malibu. I'll send the email with all the details to you later.”
I looked up from the hang nail I had been picking at and stared at Travis. “Wait. You mean California? She's in California?”
He raised a curious eyebrow at me before picking up a small slip of paper from his desk, reading it and looking back at me again. “Yeah. Why? Are you close to her?”
I bit my lip, not wanting to give away my exact location but nodded anyway. “It's still a plane ride away, but not as long as one from New York to Cali.”
He smiled gently. “That's good.” I knew he was probably wondering why I was being so secretive, but I pretended to know nothing. He sat up straighter in his seat and leaned towards me. “You know I would never hurt you, right?”
I raised a questioning brow at the sudden change in topic. “Yeah?”
“I would never do anything that would harm you emotionally or physically.”
“Okay?”
“You can always trust me.”
Thats when it finally clicked. He probably felt like I believed I couldn't disclose my location to him because I wasn't sure who to trust and if he would rat me out to the person I was 'running' from. Who to them was supposed to be Daniel, but in reality wasn't actually.
In reality, my situation was complex. I had many targets on my head and no names for any of them. Isaac was our only lead to answers, but now he was dead.
I smiled at him, relaxing in my chair and nodding my head to reassure him. “I know I can trust you, Travis. And I do. I trust all of you.”
His blue eyes remained smoldering me, searching for the slightest crack in my facade but I had too much practice with my therapists to let him see the anxiety that was truly eating at me.
Old habits did die very hard.
He finally let out a sigh, running his hand down his face in exhaustion before loosening his tie a little bit. He peeled his eyelids open and smiled at me. “If you insist.”
“I do.”
“Look,” he said, going serious again. “You work on your portfolio for your meeting with Heidi and start a social media account. Do it now before someone takes your name and pretends to be you. Activity will come on its own.”
I thought about it for a second before nodding my head and smiling. “On it, boss,” I saluted, making him roll his eyes.
He picked up his phone and stared at it longingly before standing up so I could no longer see his face anymore. “I'll call Derek and we'll both begin working on business cards for you. We'll link in with you to see whether you like the designs or not.”
“Okay,” I frowned, remembering that I still would have to call Derek. “Remember what you promised.”
“Momma ain't raise no snitch,” he huffed before ending the call, not even saying goodbye like most normal people did.
The only thing I could do was shake my head and chuckle because what did I expect from him?
I decided that I should get to work immediately and began running a quick search on the client. From what I could see, her dresses were always loud and extravagant, so I used that as my template when thinking up a design. It didn't take long for the idea for a dress to hit me and I found myself scrambling around the table, looking for a paper and pen before I completely forgot.
I found the pen, but the paper was still missing. I began searching in the drawers under the desk. A small block of sticky note pads came into view so I decided to use it like that. After getting the initial design down (being grateful that I hadn't forgotten) I searched for a larger piece of paper so the sketch could be redone with added details.
I searched through the drawers again for paper, but instead something else caught my eye.
A white, unopened envelope with the words 'To Araceli' scrawled onto it sat staring up at me, making my eyebrows furrow. I knew I probably shouldn't have taken it but which other person was it for when it was addressed to me?
It was rightfully mine.
I picked up the letter, only to see that there was another one under it that also addressed to me. I took that one out and saw that there was another before realising that there was a whole stack of letters just for me sitting in the drawer.
My curiosity had been peaked. I started with the one letter that seemed to be unlike the rest. Instead of being addressed to me, it claimed that it had been from me. Even from the handwriting, I could tell that it most likely was from me but I couldn't remember writing a letter so important that Daniel would keep it in his desk.
Maybe it had a clue in it.
I let my fingers run over the course material of the paper. It felt thin and rough to the touch, letting me know that the letter had clearly been one that the recipient had read and reread time after time. It had the lingering smell of cigarettes so if it was Daniel the letter was for, he clearly didn't like it.
He only smoked when he was stressed.
I flipped the paper over and began reading its short content since it didn't have an envelope to protect it.
I wish I hadn't.
The further into the note I had gone, the harder my heart beat in my chest. By the end of it, I was seeing red. Every bone in my body was aching to land a firm punch in Daniel's face but he wasn't here so I would only be hurting myself.
Instead of me to stop at that one letter I had read, I decided to go through the other ones. The ones I read were from him to me and each one of them only added fuel to the already burning fire within me. None of them were exempt from his lies.
“What the fuck is this?” I asked, pushing myself away from the table as if it physically burnt me.
I got up from the desk, gathering up the letters and taking them with me. I had no idea what I wanted to do with them, but I was angry and confused.
I needed answers and I needed a punching bag too.
I found myself making my way over to Daniel's room. If there were no punching bags, there had to be answers. I walked over to his white desk and began searching through it even though I had no idea what I was looking for.
Proof, I guess, because from what I read in the letters, it was so obvious that he was going to deny selling me to human trafficking. I didn't know what I expected. I didn't know why I didn't think he would do that. I thought he would have some level of shame for what he did and feel guilty, but clearly I was wrong.
Clearly I expected too much from him. Again.
I slammed the first drawer closed and started looking through the second drawer, but that was when I heard the door to his room swing close. I snapped up immediately, fear coursing through me as I stared right into the eyes of the man that I wanted to hate the most.
The father of my child.
I had been caught with no room for me to lie and save myself. What will he do to me now?
*****
Hey, so you know the way I've been saying that you'll get action soon, you'll get action soon? Yeah, well it's the next chapter so strap in.
After, the shift in Araceli's character will be obvious I think. Or maybe it won't be? Idk, does she act different to yall already?
Anyways, bye hoes.