Althea's POV
After Caspian collected me from the study, we go out to one of the only remaining rowboats. Caspian and Ed take care of the ores while the rest of us simply enjoy the ride. Speaking with my aunt was enlightening, to say the least. I missed her so much more than I initially believed. I spoke most of the time, telling her about the royal siblings that came to help us and our unexpected turmoils at sea, but mostly about Caspian. My aunt mostly apologized for leaving in the first place. She thinks it would've been better for her to stay and bring me to the Lone Islands when I was older. I insisted that if she had, I wouldn't have been able to stay with Caspian, even if I had no idea about my heritage. We didn't talk much about the future, mostly about the past, but I know that she'll be here for me now and that's what matters.
Our small boat is met with pure white lilies floating in the sweet water. They look as if they've just bloomed.
"So what was it like? When Aslan changed you back?" Edmund asks Eustace.
"No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it myself. Then he came towards me. It sort of hurt but it was a good pain. You know, like when you pull a thorn from your foot." Eustace explains. It's more than the way he speaks or what he's saying, but Eustace has matured more than any of us during this journey. He's a completely different person but it's a good thing. "Being a dragon wasn't all bad. I mean, I think I was a better dragon than I was a boy really. I'm so sorry for being such a sop."
"It's okay Eustace," Ed says. "You were a pretty good dragon."
Smiles form on everyone's faces, including my aunts. I told her in great detail about how that whole thing happened and she found it quite amusing.
"My friends, we have arrived," Reep says from the very front of the rowboat.
Caspian and Ed twist around to see. A twenty-foot wave forms a sort of wall on the beach of Aslan's Country. It's strangely natural looking but a real ocean wave wouldn't ever move the way that one is. My first thought when I see it is that it looks like once you've gone over it, you won't be able to come back.
"It's even more beautiful than I imagined." My aunt says more to herself than me.
We arrive at the beach. I help push the small boat up onto the shore so that it's not pulled back out to sea. The tidal wave is even more magnificent to behold up close. It takes a small dip, revealing a series of tall cliffs on the other side. I can vaguely make out hundreds of waterfalls flowing from them. They're similar to the ones back at Ramandu's Island. We begin to move closer to the wave, my aunt on my left and Caspian on my right.
"Aslan," Eustace says while looking behind us.
We all turn around and Aslan is there. His large but silent paws have left prints in the sand that lead back to the shore like he arrived here with us. Mist sprays his long, dark mane but his eyes remain unblinking.
"Welcome children." He greets us. "You have done well, very well indeed. You have come far and now your journey is at its end."
His use of the word 'end' makes my heart ache in my chest. It's time for Lucy and Ed and Eustace to go home. I was too preoccupied with my aunt to even think about the fact that they are going to leave so soon. The three years they were gone went by so slowly but it feels like they've barely been here at all.
"Is this your country?" Lucy asks.
"No." He says and looks out past the wave. "My country lies beyond."
Caspian's eyes gaze past the wave with a silent longing. "Is my father in your country?" He asks Aslan.
"You can only find that out for yourself, my son," Aslan says. His voice remains steady and stoic but raw emotion rumbles under the surface. "But you should know that if you continue, there is no return." The mighty lion glances at me briefly.
Caspian takes a step forward, then another. I go to follow him but my aunt grabs my arm.
"Let him." She says solemnly.
I want to object and tell her that if he goes I'm going too. I can't stay here when he's there.
Instead, I watch him approach the wave by himself and wade into the water. I'm terrified that it'll sweep him away and I'll never see him again. That fear magnifies when he reaches out and lets his hand disrupt the tidal waves flow. He pauses and lowers his hand again. When he turns around and is close enough, I can see how red his eyes have gotten in the few moments his back was to me. He looks torn between staying in this world and going to the father he loves so dearly.
"You're not going?" Ed asks.
"I can't imagine that my father would be very proud that I gave up what he died for," Caspian says, his eyes still watering. "I spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what was given. I was given a kingdom... and people." His unwavering gaze lands on me, communicating more than if he had spoken. He turns to Aslan and takes a few determined steps forward. "I promise to be a better king."
"You already are," Aslan says to him. His paws make no sound on the sand as he faces the rest of us. "Children."
"I think perhaps it's time we went home actually, Lu," Ed says. Even as he speaks I can hear his desire to stay but more than that he knows their journey has come to an end.
Lucy stares at him, confused and almost like he's offended her. "But I thought you loved it here."
"I do, but I love home and our family as well." The expression she wears after his words is heartbreaking, but she knows he's right. He continues, "They need us."
The silence that follows their discussion is heavy. I wish they could stay. Three years without them was hard enough. I can't imagine what the rest of my life will be like without them.
Reepicheep clears his throat and scurries to stand before Aslan. He takes off the small feathered ring that rests around his ear and bows respectfully. "Your eminence. Ever since I could remember, I've dreamt of seeing your country. I've had many great adventures in this world, but nothing has dampened that yearning. I know I am hardly worthy, but with your permission, I would lay down my sword for the joy of seeing your country with my own eyes."
Aslan blinks in acknowledgment. "My country was made for noble hearts such as yours, no matter how small their bearers be."
"Your majesty." Reep bows again.
"No one could be more deserving," Caspian says with an approving grin.
"Well..." Reep says shyly.
"It's true." I chime and he smiles at me brightly.
"They are right," Ed says. He bows and Reep happily returns the gesture.
Lucy is next to say goodbye. She sniffles and approaches him with slow footsteps. A gust of wind ruffles her hair as she kneels in front of him.
"May I?" She asks with an awkward laugh.
"Well, I suppose. Just this--Woah." He gasps slightly as Lucy scoops him up into her arms. She holds him out with steady arms before pulling him into a light hug. "Goodbye Lucy," Reep says.
Eustace goes next. He's crying just as much as Lucy.
"Don't cry," Reep says.
"I don't understand," Eustace says. "Will I not see you again? Ever?"
Reep shakes his head slightly. "What a magnificent puzzle you are and a true hero. It has been my honor to fight beside such a brave warrior and a great friend."
I can't see Eustace's face but I don't need to in order to understand his grief. He bows his head hesitantly and Reep bows again. He looks to me last. My heart swells with pain but it's not unwelcome. Throughout this journey, he changed from an acquaintance to one of my best friends.
"Do you want a hug too?" He asks jokingly as I kneel in the sand.
I laugh. "No, it's alright. I'll tell Trufflehunter and Trumpkin so don't worry about them."
"Thank you, Althea." He holds his tiny paw out and I gently shake it with my finger. "Take care of yourself and keep practicing with a sword. You'll be beating Caspian in no time at all."
"I will. I promise." I smile at him and stand, glad for the distance that keeps him from seeing my misty eyes.
He spares us all one last momentary glance. The tidal waves churning a few yards away seem all the taller with Reep running toward it.
"Wait." My aunt says and he stops. He turns around, confused.
She probably just wants to say her own goodbyes. She hasn't seen him in years and won't again for a long time. She looks at Aslan, asking for something I don't understand until she speaks.
"I--I would like to go."
My heart explodes into rapid beats and my stomach churns with panic. Everyone is shocked except Aslan. He doesn't seem surprised by her desire in the slightest.
"What? Why?" I ask quickly.
"Althea." She begins and I already know there's no way to talk her out of it. "I'm old and tired. I've lived my life completely and I'm ready to move on."
"But-" My voice cracks loudly and Caspian starts toward me. "I need your help with restoring the Lone Islands. I've spent all this time searching for you and you want to leave after only a few hours?"
"You've become a strong young woman who doesn't need me anymore."
"Yes, I do. Of course, I do."
Lucy begins to rub my back in comforting circles and Caspian is now beside me but it makes no difference. I worried about her for months, years, and I finally found her. After everything I've been through, she simply wants to leave.
"Can't you explain it to her?" My aunt asks Aslan.
The mighty lion doesn't look amused anymore. "It is your decision. I cannot tell her what you must."
She's not satisfied with his answer but doesn't argue. "Althea, I don't want to die in pain but most of all I don't want you to see it. If I go now, I'll spare you all that and more. Your mother and father are there. I know it. I have to go to them, tell them what you've done and everything you will do. Please don't stop me."
I pull away from Lucy and Caspian. Being so close to Aslan is intimidating, but the warmth and love in his eyes prevent me from being afraid. His assuring gaze solidifies the decision I wish I didn't have to make. "Is it safe in your country? Will she be taken care of?"
My questions are humorous because the answers are obvious but he doesn't laugh or anything of the sort. In fact, he seemed to expect the questions like he could read my mind. He blinks slowly and nods his head in a promising sort of manner.
"Reepicheep." I beckon the abnormally large mouse as I walk to him. "Please look out for her. Make sure she finds my parents."
"Of course." He nods, taking my request as an accidental command. "Your Grace." He bows which only makes me feel worse.
"I was asking as a friend, not a queen." I force myself to laugh. The mood is too heavy for me to bear without some humor.
"I know. I can't not be formal." He laughs with me.
"I could use that hug now if you're still willing."
He gives me permission by stepping forward. I scoop him up like Lucy did and hold him tightly against my shoulder. Trufflehunter and Trumpkin will miss him. I wish they could've been here to say goodbye. I'm glad I have that much with my aunt. When I put him down, she is by my side. I prefer this, the two of us away from everyone else.
"Tell them that I love them?" I ask her.
"I will."
Before I can regret my decision, I hug her hard because it's the last time and walk back to everyone else. A boat appeared while my back was turned. It rocks back and forth on the opposite side of the beach, the tidal wave already wanting to pull it in. Reep sticks his sword in the sand and jumps in. My aunt steps in carefully and waves goodbye to our group. She's smiling.
Reep can't do much to help row so my aunt takes over. She doesn't have to work very hard because the wave pulls the boat in and dips so that the current doesn't overturn it. I blink and they're gone. The tip of the boat disappears as the wave rises again. No one can see my heart give out in my chest except Caspian. He seems to feel it too as he wraps an arm around my waist, holding me up.
Lucy is crying with me now. "This is our last time here isn't it?" She asks as Ed rests a comforting hand on her back.
"Yes," Aslan says softly. "You have grown up my dear one, just like Peter and Susan." She and Edmund step forward. Aslan grins as she strokes the side of his face.
"Will you visit us in our world?" Lucy asks.
"I shall be watching you always."
"How?" She asks again, with a sad and low laugh.
"In your world, I have another name. You must learn to know me by it." Aslan explains. "That was the very reason you were brought to Narnia. That by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there."
"Will we meet again?"
I find myself wondering the same thing but not just about Aslan. I want to see my aunt again and Reep. I don't remember my father and only have vague memories of my mother, but both I love dearly and wish to see too.
Aslan hums reassuringly. "Yes, dear one. One day."
Another tear tumbles down Lucy's cheek as Aslan turns to face the tidal wave. A mighty roar that vibrates through the sand opens a large tunnel through the tidal wave. I can't see what's at the end, all that's there is a shining white light. It's time to say goodbye, again. The same sick and regretful feeling fills my stomach like the first time they left. I wouldn't trade these last few weeks with Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace for anything in the world. They are just as much my family as Caspian is.
Our group comes together, forming a tight circle.
"You're the closest thing I have to family," Caspian says. I nod slowly in agreement while wiping my damp cheeks. Eustace stares at the hot sand. Caspian notices and grips his shoulder in a brotherly manner. "And that includes you, Eustace."
Eustace looks up and grins. "Thank you."
Caspian and Ed hug first. I wrap my arms around Lucy so tight I'm worried I've hurt her. She doesn't complain and cries silently with her face buried in my shirt. I hate that I never realized it until now, but Lucy has been a sister of sorts to me. I wasn't as close with Susan, but I'm sure we'd all agree that the friendship we shared was and is irreplaceable.
I can tell Lucy doesn't want to let go but she must. I expected Ed to give me another awkward handshake like the first time but the hug he gives me is just as warm as Lucy's. I'll always regret not getting to know him better.
Eustace is standing on the outside of our group, unsure of what he's supposed to do now.
"Don't get into any more trouble," I say with a half-hearted laugh as I hug him.
"I'll try." He says.
I wish there was more I could say to the siblings and cousin, more that I could do. Lucy doesn't bother holding back her tears. She hurries back to Aslan, giving him one last embrace. He closes his eyes, savoring the comfort that's exchanged between them. Their absence is just as hard on him as it is for them but he knows it's for the best. They have lives back home, people that love and need them more than we do.
Edmund and Lucy walk ahead but Eustace lingers.
"Will I come back?" He asks.
"Narnia may yet have need of you," Aslan says while silently padding to Caspian's other side.
Eustace bows his head respectfully and catches up with his cousins. I watch, heartbroken, as the three of them walk slowly into the tunnel of water. They're only a few yards in when they all turn back. The final glance we share is short and leaves me feeling somewhat empty inside. Their eyes reflect the sea, all our many adventures, and every bit of knowledge and maturity they learned while they were here. The dark waves swallow them up, along with a small bit of my heart, leaving both to lay somewhere beyond the tidal wave of our two worlds.
The silence that follows is questioning, asking us what we do now that we're alone in this world. Alone together without the only people we love.
Aslan surprises me when he sits gracefully on his hind legs as if waiting for the two of us to speak. He said goodbye to Reep, my aunt, and the siblings, now it's our turn.
"Thank you for letting us say goodbye," Caspian says.
"It was just as much for them as it was for you." Aslan acknowledges Caspian's thanks and faces me expectantly. "There is something on your mind. What is it brave Narnian?"
An unexpected shudder runs through me. I haven't been called a brave Narnian since I first met Aslan and I surely didn't expect to hear it again.
"H-how can I lead the Lone Islands without her? What if the people don't believe me?"
"You are not alone," Aslan says, glancing at Caspian. "I told Lucy that I would watch over them always. Those words didn't only apply to them but to you as well. I will watch over you and guide you, always my dear child."
I ponder his words. He is right. Everything he said to Lucy, he also said to Caspian and me. The thought that he will always watch over me is comforting, especially now that I have to rule the Lone Islands alone and without the guidance of my aunt who is arguably the most experienced. I don't know if the people will believe I'm their queen or even accept me but as long as Caspian is by my side I know it'll be possible.
"Thank you," I say. The next question I ask hesitantly. "Will you come with us? On the ship I mean?"
He laughs but it's loving. "No. I will remain here."
The way he speaks sounds like he mourning a loss. I understand that he wants to be alone for now. Stay here with the thought of the children he's said goodbye to. His eyes fix on something beyond the tidal wave like he's already watching over Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace. I carefully step closer to the lion and with gentle fingers, I smooth out the ruffled fur on his cheek. The area has damp spots on it from Lucy's many tears.
"Goodbye," I say to Aslan and he blinks slowly.
Caspian and I walk back to the tiny rowboat, our hearts much heavier than they were when we arrived. I turn back but Aslan still remains. He doesn't leave until the beach is far out of sight and the tidal wave is a small wall of shining blue in the distance.
"Are you alright?" Caspian asks. He stops rowing. My arms are aching as much as my insides. I give myself a break and stop rowing too. We're still surrounded by the white lilies, floating softly in the sapphire-colored ocean.
"I'm trying to be," I answer honestly. "Are you?"
"Yes."
"How?" I ask calmly, staring at him from the corner of my eye. "We just lost all our family at one time." Saying it out loud makes it hurt worse.
Caspian smiles and secures the ore so it doesn't fall into the ocean. He leans over the edge of the boat and scoops one of the lilies into his hand. Water pours from his hand as he holds the lily in his palm.
"What're you doing?" I didn't mean to whisper but it's so quiet that speaking out loud seems like a crime.
"I didn't lose all of my family just now." He says while taking my sore hands in one of his. He unfurls my fingers and sets the snow-white lily in my palm. "I still have you and I want to have you always, if you'll take me."
My next breath comes into my lungs sharply. "Are you-"
"Proposing?" He asks for me, his eyes smiling as much as his lips. "Yes. I don't have a ring and I can't promise that it'll be easy to bring our nations together but-"
"Yes." My face hurts as the muscles around my mouth tighten into a smile so happy that it hurts. "Yes and I don't care that it won't be easy."
The weight on my shoulders vanishes as I carefully drop the lily onto the bench beside me. I leap from my seat into his arms. Caspian laughs ecstatically and tries not to fall backward from the force of me.
"Really?" He asks, pulling back far enough to see my face.
"Why are you so surprised? I love you." I can't keep myself from grinning as I lean in to kiss him.
"I love you too." He says after a few long seconds that easily could've been minutes. I'm too ecstatic to keep track. "I am sorry that I don't have a ring but I fully plan on making it official when we get back."
"It's already official, ring or not." He starts to kiss me again but I'm more hesitant this time. "Won't the crew be waiting for us?"
"I told them we'd be back before sunset." His smile grows lopsided and he bites his lip. "That could be any time in the next several hours."
"You like to think ahead don't you?" I laugh and get comfortable in his arms.
He chuckles. "Occasionally."
~~~
Continue reading for an epilogue!