'sure'
The next day after the MrBeast video filming, I had planned to play some AMONG US with an entirely new crew. It consisted of CORPSE HUSBAND, Sykkuno, Jacksepticeye, Valkyrae (the one who invited me) and some others. When I got a DM from Valkyrae at about 2pm, it was telling me to get ready.
This was very productive compared to what I had done all day.
What I did was lounge around and just DM Schlatt random shit to try and catch up with him. Most of it was uneffective, but some got though to him. Eventually I hope we work up to phone calls, facetimes, and maybe even meet ups again, but for now I was chill this texting.
When the time came for AMONG US to commence, I was in a reasonable outfit and my stream was set up.
I tweet out I would be playing some AMONG US and left it at that. My fans knew I rarely play anything other than Minecraft so they all got excited and flooded into my stream.
Smiling and checking the mirror one last time before I was presented to the world, I found no cancellable imperfections. This slightly boosted my confidence, but the stress I felt for meeting a new group of people was still sinking in.
In the end I knew I shouldn't back out as Valkyrae had went out of her way to invite me, but a small piece if me wondered why I was invited now.
I hit start stream and appeared on my side of the stream for everyone to see. A blur of messages flash by my eyes, all to fast for me to comprehend. Still, I was sure they were about why I was playing AMONG US instead of Minecraft like always.
"Hello chat, today I will be playing an AMONG US lobby with an entirely new crew to me... but I'm sure you all know them very well." I spoke as the AMONG US game loaded up.
Many of my viewers started getting excited at the anticipation I had built up.
Then I got a text from Valkyrae giving me the code. As I entered it in, I also entered the discord with the other 9 players. As my icon showed up beside the others, my breath seemed to hitch, and my heart seemed to beat a bit faster.
Quickly I calmed myself and unmuted for them to hear as my AMONG US character popped up out of the seat, my rarely seem (f/c) character showing up beside the rest.
"Heyy guys, thanks for inviting me today." I said to the others in the voice call. It went quiet for a second, them seemingly registering my voice before a few greetings were returned to me. Reading the awkward energy I had just created by intruding on the tight-knit group I just went silent.
Valkyrae then swooped in to my rescue and started to introduce me to the rest of the streamers so they knew who I was before the rest of them started their streams.
"Okay guysss, this is Angel. I invited her today because Toast couldn't be here, plus everyone we asked couldn't make it. But I've seen some of her clips and videos, and she seems cool." Valkyrae said casually, trying her hardest to make me feel welcome to the group.
I'm pretty sure I knew what she meant though... 'Toast and all of our actual friends couldn't make it so I invited some other random popular streamer to get views and be a replacement until next game.'
It stung a bit when I thought about it but kept quiet knowing it could just be my anxiety talking.
Anyways, the rest of the group slowly said hi to me again, this time with a bit more enthusiasm now knowing who this stranger was. Sykkuno had introduced himself alongside CORPSE who sorta scared me with his voice.
As we waited in the lobby for a few others, I realized I had to go grab a drink and the told stream "I'll be right back guys", paused the stream and left. Then I quickly told the rest of the group I had to go AFK.
It was a short trip, just to my kitchen and back, but when I returned and was about to tell the others I was here again I stopped. I came back to the topic being about me and just had to listen, my anxiety getting the best of me.
I hear CORPSE, Jack, Sykkuno, and Valkyrae's voice in the headphones as I put them back on.
"So, what do you guys think about Angel...?" Valkyrae asks them, a silence taking over the call while the boys think of an answer.
Jack then asks if my stream is still on, and Valkyrae tells them that I tells them it's paused. He then answers "I don't really know, she seems pretty awkward. I mean sure she's also a popular streamer but we all didn't really click right away..." he said apprehensively.
Sykkuno agrees before adding on "But I was like that when we first met... I mean we could try to get to know her...?" He says obviously a bit willing to give me a chance.
CORPSE agrees with Sykkuno that we could try to be friends as he could relate but Jack asks Valkyrae if me and her were friends.
She's quiet before saying "To be honest I just saw her on my Recommended and checked her out, so no we aren't friends outside of this... and she seems to be more into Minecraft. I just invited her because she's also a streamer and her clips always make her seem so funny..."
This causes the rest of them to think again before Jack breaks the silence and remarks passive-aggressively "At least me and CORPSE knew each other beforehand..."
I could send the way they all changed there ideas on playing with me. Addison Rae joins the convo saying maybe they could try to get someone else that they all like in the game.
Slowly everyone agrees, until Valkyrae says that Toast just texted her that he's free now.
Sensing they don't need me anymore I unmute quietly and say on the verge of tears, "it's okay guys... I know not every group will become friends... you can go and invite your friend now... thanks for inviting me at the very least..." and left the discord and game without a trace.
Still on pause, I quickly shut the stream down and tweet out through blurry vision that something unexpected came up so the others don't take any blame when people would start to question why I left.
Once done that I begin to cry. Sure I had haters and met up with groups who never click, but to have people I actually wanted to be friends with behind my back tell me that they don't really like me hurt. It hurt more than I expected.
Out of anger I go to my watch history and delete all of their videos I had seen, not wanting anything to do with them anymore. Tears fell as I deleted them one-by-one, but it felt good once they were all gone.
For a few seconds at least.
Then the grief and pain came back, and unable to keep it to myself anymore I just grab my phone to call up Schlatt.
Before I dial, I make sure to check to to see if he was streaming or recording so no suspicion against the Toast Gaming Crew would come up if people saw me crying. Once sure he wasn't busy doing anything I hit dial without a second doubt.
The ringing goes one for a while, every time a ring goes by my hope seems to drop.
He answers at about 3 rings and he asks "what the fuck do you want?" I flinch quietly at the anger in his voice thinking he doesn't want me either. Tears fall again and deciding to leave him alone I say "you know what- i- it's nothing-" before my voice gives me away.
His voice immediately answers me, but it had a softer tone to it. He actually seems concerned now. I answer him by saying "I"m supposed to be playing A-AMONG US right now... but it just... didn't work out."
His line goes quiet for a few seconds before he asks almost protectively what happened. I ask him if he'll ever tell anyone. "What? Oh course not! Unless it's illegal, well... no. I wouldn't tell anyways, just tell me okay" he responds with.
A small smile makes it's way onto my face at his humour, and I spill it all. The first greetings, the response, the 'private convo' they had on me, everything.
Once it's all out he takes it in for a few seconds, thinking about everything I just said. Eventually he tells me he's going to kill them all... well he really said "it's going to be 1999 all over again, baby." as I heard his iconic Glock 17 click. I freak out and say that he can't do anything to them, physically or viturally.
I hear him sigh over the phone and ask why I called him out of all people. I quickly question if I should tell him the real reason I phoned or say that I didn't trust Jimmy and the other people in my contacts. Deciding to say the truth I mumble out a quiet and embarrassed "I just missed your voice, okay? I miss you Schlatt... it's been to long since we last talked like friends..."
He just laughs and says that my reason was a bit stupid obviously trying to get some laughter out of me. It didn't work and I just muttered it was stupid and I shouldn't be bothering him.
Noticing he fucked up a bit, he tells me "I-i didn't mean the thing I just said... I guess I miss you too... I just was trying to get you to laugh at my jokes like old times..." and he reassures me that it wasn't stupid at all and he was being a bit insensitive.
I say thanks and say he can make me laugh without trying so hard. He just mutters a small thanks before asking how I'm doing now. "I've stopped crying... that's a plus. I-I'm just tired now... I just sleep deprivation and crying your eyes out does this to a person." He lets out a small chuckle saying how he's defiantly had experience doing that.
Smiling I just talk to him calmly now, truly catching up with him. He tells me about the smp he's on, and I tell him about the Dream SMP.
He becomes quickly interested, saying how he can't wait to become president on another SMP. I just laugh quietly and explain it all. He then goes on about his plans based on what he knows so far about this L'Manberg and how's he's going to change it.
Just as drift off in the middle of his speech on his presidential plans, the last thing I heard was
"and you'll be my First Lady.."