Lopez tossed his missile pod onto the wall within Red base.
Lopez: Consiga mas cajas alla.
Simmons barricaded the entrance with crates.
Simmons: Keep watching your motion trackers. This guy can turn invisible.
Lopez (Spanish) Is that where he went?
Outside, the Meta growled in frustration as his active camouflage malfunctioned, flickering on and off. He roared as his rage grew!
Simmons: Woah! Did you hear that?
Lopez: (Spanish) I have something on my motion tracker.
Simmons: Y-Yeah, it was loud.
Lopez: (Spanish) No, you idiot! Over there!
They both pointed their Battle Rifles at the left side of the base, glancing at each other and loading their weapons in unison! A figure then appeared. . . .
Donut: Hey, guys. 'Sup?
Simmons: Donut?
Lopez: (Spanish) Didn't you say this guy could change colors?
Simmons lowered his weapon, but the robot kept his readied.
Donut: I just finished cleaning up Blue base. What's going on over here?
Lopez: (Spanish) I think we should shoot him just to be safe.
Simmons: Donut, that guy attacked me! I ran out of the base screaming! Why didn't you help me?!
Donut: You guys seemed like you knew each other. I thought you were just catching up.
Simmons: He was firing grenades at me!
Donut: Yeah, so? I thought that was just an inside joke between the two of you.
Simmons: What?! What kind of joke would that be?!
Donut: Well, how do I know? I've been gone for a long time, Simmons.
Simmons: What?!
Donut: In fact, it was clear that I didn't know the guy. So shame on you for not introducing us. And quite frankly, I found the whole thing a bit rude!
Simmons: . . . . WHAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Donut: RUDE.
Lopez: (Spanish) Seriously, we could just bury him out back.
*At Sandtrap*
Tucker: Church? You're telling me that thing is Church.
Caboose: Well, not exactly.
The monitor floated in midair next to Caboose.
Caboose: See, um, technically uh, this thing-
Ruby: Isn't Church. It's just the memory of him, Epsilon.
Caboose: Yes, that.
Tucker: Epsi-whatwhat?
South; Epsilon. It's another AI.
Epsilon: It's me dipshit!
Allison: Do not tell him about me.
Ruby: You got it.
Caboose: Uh yeah, see, he's a resident memory of the guy that Church was based on, so he's kind of like. . . remembering himself. Uh, Simmons can explain. Y'know, much better than I can. Probably.
Delta: Epsilon carries the burden of the Alpha unit's memory. In other words, he is the Private Church before you knew him as such.
Caboose: Oh right, Delta. . . .
Grif: At least I can be glad Simmons isn't here.
The monitor looked at Sarge.
Epsilon: Wait, I thought he was Simmons.
Caboose: He's Sarge. Sa-a-arrrge-e.
Epsilon: I'm confused, not deaf, you idiot. And who's the yellow one?
Kaikaina: I'm Kaikaina.
Epsilon: No, not you! The other yellow one.
Grif: *sighs* I'm orange!
Epsilon: Yeah? Then how'd you know who I was talking about?
South: I find it hard to believe that a super smart AI can't tell the difference between orange and yellow.
Tucker: Yeah, and bow come he remembers us, but not who we are?
Grif: Why does everyone think I'm yellow?! Seriously! Didn't anybody have a box of crayons when they were a kid?!
Caboose: Oh, it will come back to him. See, I've been telling him stories. . . about all of us. . .
Tucker: . . . .
Caboose: Well, most of us. . .
Sarge: Is that what you've been tryin' to do all this time? Rebuild your buddy?
Caboose: Yes.
Kaikaina: Which almost got us killed. . . like six times.
Caboose: Yes. . . No. . . Maybe. Which one makes you less mad?
Tucker: So the only stuff he knows about us is what you told him?
Ruby: Oh boy. . .
Tucker: That's scary on a lot of levels dude.
Epsilon: Why?
Tucker: Hohoh, why? Okay, quick quiz, who am I?
Epsilon: You're Captain Flowers, right? You're dead.
South: Wait what?
Epsilon: I've been meaning to ask you about that part. Is he like a zombie?
Tucker: Uh-huh, and who is he? *points at Grif*
Epsilon: He's Griff, which is spelled with two 'f's.
Kaikaina: Ha!
Grif: God dammit! Okay, now that's another thing!
Epsilon: Caboose was very specific about the second f.
Tucker: Yeah, what about the Red guy?
Epsilon: Well, if he's not Simmons, then I guess he's Sarge. . . that would make him the gruff and regimented leader of the Red team.
Sarge: That actually seems pretty-
Tucker: Just give him one more second.
Epsilon: Which would make him also the captain of their pirate ship.
Tucker: There it is, what about her? *points at Sister*
Epsilon: That's Yellow Church, he came from from the spaceship.
Everyone: . . . . .
Tucker: Moving on, what about the purple and green one?
Epsilon: That's South, which makes her first name is Down.
South: *sighs*
Ruby: What about me?
Epsilon: You're Ruby. . . which makes you the nice lady on the Red team and their princess.
Ruby: *facepalms*
South: Floating green guy?
Epsilon: That's Delta, he's the super smart AI that lives inside Yellow Church's brain.
Ruby: I guess that's. . . somewhat true.
Grif: What about T-
Ruby: NO! Nope! There's no one else! Caboose, you didn't tell him about 'her', did you. . .?
Caboose: Her? Ohhhhh, I didn't. You said to only tell people from Blood Gulch. And Epsilon is not from Blood Gulch. He came from the walls.
Ruby let out a sigh of relief while everyone got the hint, Tex was not to be spoken of around the now active Epsilon.
Epsilon: What? Keeping secrets?
Ruby: Yes.
Epsilon: Ouch.
Caboose: See, I can tell good stories.
South: You can't even read, you had an illustrated field manual!
Tucker: He's a moron.
Caboose Well it helps when stories have pictures! Duh!
Tucker: For the first few months I worked with him, he thought you held grenades over your head while that shot arrows at the enemy.
Caboose: The diagram could've been a lot more specific.
Kaikaina: You couldn't read it anyways.
Sarge: Heh, you're lucky! As a recruit, Grif didn't even know what a grenade was! I called them a pineapple, and he tried to swallow it.
Grif: Yeah, well still tasted better than those MREs you serve us!
Sarge: Grif! Show some respect! Do you know how many men died to develop those meals?
Grif: I can tell you exactly how many! Everybody who ever tasted one!
Tucker: At least he doesn't kill everyone who suits up for your team!
Caboose: Oh. . . yeah, I don't think I really did that.
Tucker: Then who did?
Caboose: Okay, stick with me on this, right? What if Church. . . travelled back in time. . . using Wyomings's special ability power-
Tucker: God, shut up! That's fucking retarded.
Grif: Ugh, you guys are idiots!
Caboose: What?! What about you guys?!
South: How the hell did you guys get passed basic training?
Sarge: Who's the real idiot? The idiot? Or the idiot who fights it?
Tucker: What dude? In either scenario, you're still an idiot!
Sarge: Heh, I would expect you to say something like that.
Grif: Wait, I think he's right-
Sarge: Shut up Grif! I always thought your armor was yellow too! Matches your personality.
Caboose: Hey! You shouldn't be mean to people who work for you, and just want to be your friend!
Tucker: No one tries to do that but you!
Sarge: I think you're all a bunch of idiots!
Kaikaina: And you're an old creep, idiot!
Everything they said become incoherent as it all mashed together into an inaudible argument.
Ruby: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Silence ensued. . . .
Kaikaina: Grif is kind of an idiot.
Grif: What the fuck?!
Sarge: Ah, shut up Private Idiot.
And the bickering continued. . . .
Everyone: FUCK!!!!!!
Ruby: I. Said. Shut. Up.
Everyone: Y-Yes ma'am!
Epsilon: You never mentioned her being fucking terrifying.
Caboose: I was too scared.
Epsilon: Okay, now listen guys. I may not remember everything, but it will come back to me, okay? I can feel it.
Ruby: Yeah, I thought that would happen to me too. It's been years and I've gotten a few names back.
Epsilon: Damn. If this shit'll take years, then scratch that. Anyways, what I do know is that if we don't work together, and destroy this weapon, those guys outside are gonna kill a lot of people. And we can't let that happen.
Ruby: I agree, you guys hear that? That means we're going to have to work together to kill that guy out there.
Grif: *whispers* Is she mad?
Tucker: *whispers* The fuck? She seems excited.
Epsilon: Yeah, let's set aside our differences, and get to solving this problem. Together.
He was moving to his right for some reason.
Epsilon: I know leading can be tough, but I am a born leader. If you follow me, I know I can get us through this. Are you with me?
Grif: Where are you going?
Epsilon: Uhhh, yeah I don't seem to have full control over my body yet. But that doesn't invalidate everything I said! I'm still the leader- Fuck- Okay! I'll be right back! No one else take the leader position while I'm gone!
Caboose: Bye.
Sarge: Yeah, see ya later Winston Churchill.