Everything felt real when you watched someone mouth Time of death 15:09
___
You were jolted awake. You opened your eyes and found yourself in the waiting room of a hospital clutching a bag of Spencer's clothes. When you looked up Tara was holding an FBI jacket in her hands, handing it to you
"Looks like you were having a pretty bad dream"
"Yeah" you slowly sat up and rubbed your eyes, you wanted to make sure it was just a dream "How's Spencer"
"He's asleep, he was lucky the bullet could have hit the carotid artery. It nicked a couple of small vessels but they stopped the bleeding"
You took the jacket from her hands and sat up straight to put it on, she sat down next to you. You rested your head into your hands, you ran your hands through your hair and sighed "This is all my fault"
"How could this possibly your fault"
"He kept telling me to get out the way" your eyes were dried out from the tears you had shed, your voice cracked "And I didn't move and he just ran in front of me to carry me away"
"You were trying to save another life" her hand found yours
"I should have just moved when he told me"
"Y/n none of this is your fault, it's the unsubs"
"Thank you" you turned your head to look at her "Did you guys catch him"
"Yes, he was taken to another hospital but he's in custody"
"Okay" you whispered "I'm going to go see him, what room is he in"
"408"
Tara let go of your hand and let you walk away, once you arrived to the room you spotted JJ at his bed side. You couldn't tell if you were too harsh on her earlier but it needed to be said. She turned her head to look at you and she wiped her tears. She squeezed his hand and brushed past you. Before you walked in you had snatched some jello from the cafeteria.
You set it on the table beside you and took his hand in yours, he was still asleep. "I'm so sorry for leaving you" you sniffled "You know when I came back I honestly thought that we could have had a chance to be together" your thumb rubbed circled over his hand "It was really selfish of me to think that you wouldn't move on to someone else"
Your swallowed the lump in your throat and choked back to tears, you had been crying too much "I should've come back sooner, I can't be with you and that just breaks my heart. I would do anything just to have you in my arms again"
It felt like an eternity waiting for him to wake up, but he did. His eyes opened and lit up when they drifted towards you. "Spence!"
"Not so loud" he croaked out
"Sorry" you giggled, you took the jello from the table behind you and held it up
"Jello!" he smiled looking up at you
"I know it's your favorite" you opened it and moved the table closer to him
"You're the best" he tried to move but he just groaned in pain
"Lay back it's okay" you rested your hand on his shoulder gently
"Thank you for being here when I woke up" he reached for your hand and you held on
"Why would you take the bullet for me" you diverted the conversation, it was a genuine question you had. He could have died
He squeezed your hand and just looked at you, that look in his eyes was all you needed. He loves you, the memory of your drunken night and the actions of today proved it. But then you realized that you brought pain to him. It started years ago with the drugs and then you were breaking his relationship with Max. Hell, you got him shot, it was supposed to be you. As much as you wanted him you couldn't have him. But that didn't stop the words that were about to come out of your mouth.
"I have to tell you something" the least you wanted to do was tell him, maybe you did have a chance "I lo-"
"Spencer" a voice shouted over yours, you turned around just to find Max rushing through the door
You let go of his hand and stepped aside. Max walked over to Spencer and kissed him, she gently rested her forehead against his and let out a breath she was clearly holding in "I am so happy that you are okay"
You gave him a small smile and walked away, back out into the hallway to find Penelope waiting outside the door
"Once I got the call I called her as well" she poked her head through the door before looking back to you "She wanted to see him right away"
"That's great Pen" you patted her shoulder and stuffed your hands into your pockets "I'm going back to the waiting room"
She nodded and walked into the room behind Max.
...
It had been almost two weeks and Spencer was back at work. You were walking the halls on your way back from the bathroom but heard whispers. You stopped at the corner when you realized it was JJ and Spencer's voices.
"So you are my best friend and I need your opinion on something" Spencer leaned against the wall
You peaked but you turned back around so you were out of sight
"What's up"
"I'm going to propose to Max but I think I have doubts" he sighed "Like I'm not sure if I want to propose because I love her or I'm just trying to run from my other feelings"
"I think you should propose, she's a great woman" you heard her voice slightly crack "But if your having doubts make sure you don't make a mistake, marriage binds the both of you"
Why would he take advice from her? Your surprised she even encouraged him to ask.
"I--I think I'm doing it tomorrow night" you could hear the doubt in his voice, why was he so bent to marry a woman he didn't love. Maybe he did love her but he also loved you. Maybe all the tension was in your head. You walked down the hallway past them and felt them staring at you while you walked back to the bullpen
"She's a great person to marry" was the last thing you heard JJ say before you opened the glass doors
"Hey guys" you walked over to Luke and Tara who were having a conversation
"Hey Y/n" both replied
"So I offered to take you guys out for drinks the first day I was here, how about I take you up on that offer"
"Now?" Tara raised her brow
"Yep" you nodded "Prentiss won't mind us leaving a couple of minutes early"
The both looked at each other before looking back at you and agreed.
...
"So you just snuck up on Emily while she profiled that you had commitment issues" you laughed taking a sip of your drink
"We met very awkwardly but we have grown fond ever since" Luke smiled
"Well I don't really disagree with her" you casually spoke
"Oh come on that's not true" you watched him take a swig of his beer and roll his eyes, in a playful manner
"No I actually I do agree with Y/n" Tara held her fist out and you bumped her
"See I am not the only one who sees it" you shrugged and downed the rest of your drink
"Oh come on out of everyone Tara has to be the one with commitment issues" he teased
"That's not what your daddy said last night" she smirked
You snorted and almost spit out your drink, by far you loved hanging out with her. She always had amazing jokes and having Luke around made life fun. Emily was always so busy, Rossi was chill but he wasn't the lets get a drink at the bar kind of guy, JJ was being a bitch recently but there was nothing you couldn't solve over coffee, and well Spencer was... Spencer.
After a couple more drinks you were leaning over the table, holding your head up with your hand. You weren't quite drunk but definitely had your emotions heightened. The conversation somehow traveled back to you.
"Why do you suddenly look so gloomy" Luke slurred, now leaned back into his seat
"Oh you know the usual the only man I ever truly loved is getting married to another woman" you sighed longingly
"What?" Tara's eyes widened, it looked like she had seen a ghost
"I overheard JJ and Spencer talking, he is proposing mattressmoney to Max tomorrow night" you hiccupped
"I think it's matrimony" Luke corrected you
"Oh whatever the point is the man I love is going to be gone for good, all because I didn't call to check in after I left"
"Don't blame yourself for taking care of yourself" Tara scoffed "Do blame yourself for keeping these emotions in, it's going to kill you"
"I can't just tell him how I feel"
"You can but your too scared" Luke nodded
"Shut it newbie" you snarled, you needed to come up with a nickname of your own. You couldn't use Garcias forever
"Fine let that man go then" he shrugged, trying to get you to open up
"That handsome man" you wiggled your brows, you didn't mean to derive the conversation but you did "Like have you seen him"
"Yes?" Luke lifted a brow and looked at you with a questioning look
"Have you seen him wearing a vest and a jacket, along with the gun at his hip" they both just looked at you weirdly but you kept going "He has always looked cute but now he just looks so amazingly sexy for example the stubble on his face and the way his hands-"
"Okay we get it" Luke interrupted
"Right sorry" you giggled
The three of you sat in a comfortable silence, you had gotten a water and sobered up a bit. You slammed some cash on the table and grabbed your phone to call an Uber.
"Where are you going" Tara watched you get up
"I'm going to go make the best or worst decision of my life"
"Your drunk" Luke called behind you
"By the time I get there I won't be" you shouted from across the bar
You stepped outside and began to get soaked by rain "Fuck"
You waited in the rain for a couple of minutes while the Uber came. Once you got in you began to take deep breaths and prepared a whole speech in your head. Once you had arrived you ran quickly inside before getting more wet. Great you looked like a wet dog and you were slightly tipsy. Once you reached Spencer's apartment you stood outside his door for a good minute before knocking.
Once he opened the door you noticed his hair in messy style, he was probably sleeping "Y/n?" he said groggily
"Don't marry her" you blurted out
"Wha- what" that fully woke him up and he stepped out into the hall with you
"Don't marry Max"
"Are you drunk" he studied your face and crossed his arms over his chest
"I know I look like a wet dog and I probably look ridiculous right now but I am begging you, please don't propose to Max"
He didn't say anything, his eyes traveled up and down your face. Slightly panicking at your words.
"I-I had a whole speech prepared in my head but I forgot it" you nervously laughed "But I want you to hear that I love you, I have loved you since the moment I laid my eyes on you. I know that we weren't perfect but we can be now. We can have that future that we talked about and if you marry her I don't know how I'm going to survive knowing that you made a mistake. Because I know that you love me too"
You paused for a second and noticed that he was lost for words, the last words that came out of your mouth were barley above a whisper
"I know that you love me so please, don't marry her"
___
A/n: Surprise Shawtyyyyy, he didn't die. Hope yall don't hate me for almost giving you a heart attack lol <3