"Ella unmaiyum therinju apo edhuku en kita paasama pazhagina? Adhu paasama, illa anudhabama, illa verum nadipa? En elathayum maracha? Naan unodaya Ann..." when he stopped her.
"NIRUTHU. Adha mudikadha!", he warned her.
"Apo edhuku...."
"YENNA, NAAN UNNA KADHALIKAREAN !!! ", his voice boomed cross the entire mandappam.
He inched closer, held her shoulder and almost shook her.
"ENNA NAAN UNNA KADHALIKAREAN. ADHU NALA THAN UN MELA PASAMA IRUDHEAN, ADHU NALA THAN MUTHAM KUDHUTEAN.PODHUMA?"
She blinked in confusion and suddenly Kathir snapped out into reality. He immediately let go of her shoulder and rubbed the back of his neck and blew a frustrated breath as the intensity of what he blurted out sinked in.
Mullai's eyes widened on hearing this. She was not expecting this. She tried to speak but her mouth was stuck and no words came out.
Mullai still stood in shock and the Kathir repented his words as soon as he saw Mullai's face. He had kept it hidden within him for so long and was not sure if he will ever be able to convey this to her. Moreover, this was definitely not the way he wanted to confess his feelings to her. All the pent up frustration of not seeing her for 3 months and her neglecting him made him burst out in the most unexpected and unconventional way.
He took a step back to give ample space between them
"Mulla..Adhu..."
All his anger was gone and his heart was racing but this was not the time to react adversely. He tried to calm himself.
"En??...Naaum Jeeva mamaum..Ennai..." she talked non-coherently still not being able to process this newfound information. Her head was spinning and she could not even breathe.
He held her hand and noticed she was shivering. He held on to it tight and made her sit in nearby steps. She tried to wiggle her hand free and get up.
"Pogadha Mulla. Oru 5 nimisham. Ipo solalana epovum sola matenonu bayama iruku", he stared at her with hopeful eyes, his lower lips slightly jutted out.
And there was silence. He closed eyes momentarily when he heard her mumble "En?"
"Eppo yepadinu elam ketta enaku badhil solla theriyala. Othukarean, Jeeva annan inoru ponna virumbararnu therija appo, avugala kalyanam panni vekanumnu than yosichean. Apo nee enna aava, unaku adhu yepadi irukumnu elam naan konjam kuda yosikala."
Kathir noticed her flutter. "Mulla...", he sounded desperate hoping she doesn't mistake him again.
"Sathiyama, neum anna'vum sandhosama irukanumnu than nenachu irukean. Unna kasta paduthanumnu naan oru naal kuda nenachudu illa."
She did not let him finish and pulled her hand away from his. When he noticed she made no effort to leave he continued
"Un kita pazhagana mathiri endha ponnu kitaum naan pazhaginadhu kedaiyadhu. Enna aramiyama unna virumba aramichutean.
Eppo yepadinu elam theriyala. Andha siva rathiri apo namba mudhal murai friends mathiri pesa aramicha apava irukalam, illa nee anaiku enna katti pudichu mandapathula azhudha apava irukalam, illa enna nambi nadu rathiriyil thaniya vandha apova irukalam. Aana, unna pathaley kadupu agarathukum, ippo unna vitu prinju irundha 3 manasathil naduvila, epovo en idhayatha tholachutean."
He might sound cliché, but he knew no other way out to profess what he felt. He cupped her cheeks and saw her turning into shocked mess.
"Nee oru siripu ena patha siracha kuda, naal muluka sandhosama irukum. Nee sirika enna venna panalamnu thonudhu. Un siripa vazhkai muluka pakanumnu thonudhu. Andha siripu enala irukanumnu thonudhu". He leaned his forehead against her and a lone tear fell on his cheeks. He felt light after professing his heart.
"Edavadhu sollu", he said gently brushing her skin.
She tried to form a sentence or even a single words but her tongue seemed to have lost all its ability. Despite knowing it is all wrong, she felt warmth all inside her belly that someone loved her and was willing to do all those just for her. When no words came to her mind, she closed her eyes and let her emotions flow in tears.
As if on cue, her phone began to ring and she searched through her purse and took it out
"Amma 10 nimishathula varean ma"
She freed herself from his hold and stood up. She was emotionally drained and her legs gave away making her fall to the ground. Soon his pair of hands pulled her up roughly and hugged her. She made no effort to push him away or hug him back. She stood rooted to the ground like a statue. She did not know how to react. His arms gave her a sense of reassurance that everything will be all right. It is as if she finally found the tranquility and comfort which was lost somewhere in the marriage. That combined feeling of disbelief and contentment warmed her heart and she hung onto him.
She finally pulled away from him and she was about to turn, when Kathir tugged her arm and pulled her towards him. He was scared, if he lets her go, he might never be able to see her again.
Tears roll down Mullai's eyes. Not knowing how to react, breaks her hands free and walk out.
As soon as she reached home, she locks herself up. Kathir's words keep ringing in her head. She knew somewhere deep down, he had concern for her and maybe even attracted to her. However, she never imagined in her weirdest dream, he was in love with her. She was already carrying the guilt of that day when she kissed him. She gave in to the temptation that day and ever since been mourning in guilt. Now knowing he had kissed her because of love made it worse. There no worse feeling than regret or guilt. Both of which had been culminating over these past month, making her heart feel heavier and heavier. She felt ashamed of liking his hug, nor how her body reacted to him, in spite of knowing he was her husband's brother. Her mind wandered. Stray tears fell down her face. Her brain felt too numb to have the energy to wipe the tears. She sat eyes wide open lost in thoughts all night.
As soon as she woke up, the events of last evening came flooding back to her. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to block out the memories. She wants to forget about their kiss, his confession and want to act as if nothing happened. She wants to go back to being friendly with him but knows it is impossible to be like before.
When she is hurt, she does not like to sit around and mope with her feelings. She likes to slap a fake smile, pretend it never happened and move onto something else that makes her happy. She had done that for a year, however now she is not able to do that with Kathir. As days passed, her thoughts kept coming back to Kathir no matter how much she tried to block her memories. She was glad Kathir has not called her after the day she almost ran away from him. Nevertheless, she knows she cannot run away from him forever. She shared such a beautiful bond with Kathir while in Pandian house and did not want to keep him at bay again. She decided to talk to him later today.
For Kathir the week passed uneventfully. A week had passed since Kathir has spoken his heart to her. She made no effort to talk to him or message him. His anger was bubbling up inside. The frustration was growing by every passing moment. He wanted her to talk to him or even shout at him. He did not know why but he was dying to listen to her voice. Finally, when he could not sit there and do nothing about it, he finally decided to meet her at her house when his phone beeped.
Un kita konjam pesanum
His heart started beating fast while he replied
10 nimishathula mandapathil irupean
He almost ran out of the shop yelling to his mama "Kadaiya pathukonga. Oru mani nerathil vandhudarean" and dashed off before waiting for his reply.
He was restlessly walking in the mandapam waiting for Mullai. His thoughts went to the day, when he kissed her and it send chills down his spine. He quickly brushed the thoughts off. He was not sure what Mullai was about to tell him. He knew she did not love him. All he wanted was she to understand him and not break the friendship they share. He was lost in thoughts when he saw her enter in a simple yellow saree and she looked divine in yellow. He smiled inwardly that yellow might be his new favorite color.
They finally settled down sitting next to each other and he felt nostalgic on the numeric nights they have spent together chatting away to glory.
Kathir was his usual self not initiating the conversation. She mentally chuckled at the thought about how for once he did all the talking while she just listened the other day.
"Nee anaiki..Nee enna..En?..." Mullai broke the silence not sure about where to start and looked at Kathir. He seemed thoughtful and she found herself wanting to know what was going through his brilliant brain.
"Naan sonna vidham venna thappa irukalam. Aana sonadhil thapu edhuvum illa Mulla. Unna yarukavadhu pudikama irundha than achiriyam", he professed his love yet again rubbing his throbbing heart.
Her mind mocked that she was not that lucky as even her own husband did not like her that way.
" Nee apadi nenaika naan endha vidhathilavadhu karanama irundha enna manichudu", she finally said after a moment.
"Eiii. Nee edhuku manipu kekara. Nee un vazhakaiyil apadi oru nelamaiyil irukarapo naan sonadhu en thappu than. ", he said running his hand through his hair remembering the day he confessed her.
"Sonadhu matum than thappa?", she asked clutching sides of her saree tightly fearing his reply already.
"Un kuda vazhanumnu nenaikaradhu thappa?", he let out a shaky laugh when she shocked him by saying
"Anna oda manavi kuda vazhanumnu nenaikradhu thappu than"
Her words hit him like dagger and reading his mind she continued
" Jeeva mama kuda naan vazhdhalum ilanalum, ulagathuku naan avar pondatti than. Nee nenaikaradhu thappu than. Nee apadi yosika naan karanama irundhadhu enaku inum kastama iruku"
"Mulla..."
She saw his face-harden. She did not mean to make him feel sad but she was feeling hundred times worse than she felt before.
She did not let him finish "Andha veetla irundha vandha apo oru sudhandhiram kedacha mathiri than irundhuchu. Inametu nadika venamnu oru thirupthi. Orey oru varutham than. Un kuda seriya pesa mudiadhenu. Enaku unna romba pudikum Kathiru. Aana, nee nenaikara mathiri illa"
He was listening to her intently and his heart felt a warmth in spite of her saying that she does not love him. He was happy she did not mistake him and that made a world difference to him.
"Nama inametu pesa pakka venam Kathir. Naan inum unna kasta padutha virumbala"
"Ipo nee irukara nelamayila idhu naan sonadhu thappu than. Puriyudhu. Nee porumaiya yosi. Unaka en kuda epo pesanumnu thonudho, apo pesu. Naan adhu varai unnai thondharavu panna matean. Adhu varaikum kathutu irupean"
Mullai's heart sank. She missed talking to him freely, she missed his company, and she missed the way he made her smile. She wished she could tell these things to him but there was a knot in throat threating to make her cry and that was the last thing she needed.
"Kathutu irukadha Kathiru. Idhuku mela unna kasta padutha enaku manasu illa. Epovum pesa matean. Varean" and walked out braving herself to face her future.