It's been about a week since the party and everything that happened. I haven't spoken to anyone. Lauren hasn't been home, i'm guessing she's at Ethan's. I've just hibernated in my apartment. But today i'm getting up and getting ready, even if i do just stay in my apartment. I need to be more productive.
i wake up at around 10am, looking over at my phone i notice 10 miss calls from Tobi, Harry and Talia. I don't need to answer them right now, i need time to myself.
once i'm up i head downstairs and make myself some pancakes, while i'm at it i also put on 'Lose Control' by Zoe Weez, i love this song.
*start the song if you like*
Early in the morning I still get a little bit nervous
Fightin' my anxiety constantly, I try to control it
Even when I know it's been forever I can still feel the spin
Hurts when I remember and I never wanna feel it again.
i've suffered with anxiety for most of my life, ever since i was bullied in the early years of primary school. However, i have learnt to deal with it now but some days i wake up feeling like absolute shit.
Don't know if you get it 'cause I can't express how thankful I am
That you were always with me when it hurts, I know that you'd understand
Harry being with me these past few months has really helped me, he always knows what to say, no matter if he's being serious or joking. He knows how to calm me down, That's one reason why i love him. And him not being here with me right now sucks.
I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore
Tryin' every day when I hold my breath
Spinnin' out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control
i sing my heart out to that song almost everytime it plays, i want to film a cover for it today for instagram or even start my youtube channel up. Although i do have work in after christmas , i love the warehouse but i don't know if i can handle the stress of going their daily. Hence why i haven't been there for about 2 months. Of course lux doesn't mind, but i feel bad.
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i'm ready for the day, my outfit consisting of white tennis skirt with a beige jumper and. a white shirt under it, finishing off the outfit with some gold jewellery such as, my gold necklace off Talia and my choker that i bought a while back.
i've set up my camera and i've just hit record, i don't do an intro i just start the song once again and begin to sing.
I relate to this song so much so i really want this cover to be perfect and after a few attempts it's perfect! so i go straight to instagram and upload it, no editing. (imagine that image is charlotte)
liked by Taliamar, Wroetoshaw, Laurenkitson_ and 657k others
lottie_hx: I've suffered with anxiety most of my life, meaning i can relate to this song very much. Just know you are never alone. Someone will always be there to hold your hand and guide you through those difficult times, i learnt it the hard way. Trust me.
thank you guys for everything<3
@user1: Anxiety sucks, but this is beautiful
@user2: you've helped me get through some hard times, i appreciate it so much, thank you!!<3
Lottie_hx: I'm so glad, remember you are never alone<3
Taliamar: love you L x
tobjizzle: the talent you have!!
next is to upload it to youtube
opening up youtube i take a deep breath before clicking onto the upload button.
'Lose Control' by Zoe Wees cover <3'
was the title.
within seconds of it being uploaded i went straight to instagram and twitter promoting my first ever upload to my channel that no one knew about, i'm nervous but excited to see everyone's reaction.
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i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it was more of a focus on charlotte kind of chapter, i enjoyed writing it.
if you have anxiety, just remember you are NOT alone and you always have someone. I'm always here if you need to talk <3