( . . 𝑨𝑪𝑻 𝑶𝑵𝑬; 𝐶𝐻 𝐹𝐼𝑉𝐸 ━━━━━ ! ﹆◞ ❫
MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU / 从你身上造一个人
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" Nothing good ever comes easy,I know times are rough, but winners don't quit, so don't you give up— "
LETTING GO OF SOMEONE OR SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO YOU IS A HARD THING FOR ANYONE TO DO. The precious memories laced in that person, place, or object. They invade and dilute the mind and soul of good and bad, sad or happy times. It shows vulnerability, humanity even, to the most inhuman. The prefrontal cortex, Amygdala, Hippocampus, and Cerebellum are who we can blame for feeling. They process memories, trauma, attachments to people or places, sadness, loneliness, decision making, social behavior, and much more. They make us feel even when we beg them not to. Mulan never felt the same after Bucky left. No matter how hard she pleads.
It wasn't like the first time Bucky left, it's like the ground beneath Mulan's pointed heels shifted when the weight of Bucky getting shipped to war fully settled on her chest. She didn't like the feeling of being alone again. After feeling the warmth within Bucky's touch she would never stop chasing the beautiful feeling. She would never let go, she can't.
Her days and nights became duller when the bright smile of James Barnes went away. Mulan tried to not think of him, as bad as that sounds every time she did it was as if she fell darker into that fatal abyss of sadness. Bucky told her to not cry over him, that he would be fine, to wear her adoring smile because he would come right back to her, every time.
It was a couple of weeks after Bucky left his best friend and girl in Brooklyn and Mulan and Steve have grown closer in the time of his absence. With Steve being her only other good friend, they had time to learn more about each other and form a stronger bond. They both comforted one another as a shoulder to lean on in times of sadness. With the time they spent together, Mulan easily picked up on his quirks and noticed how he was more timid than usual and she would be damned if she couldn't figure out why.
That little blonde-haired shit, Mulan thought as she angrily walked up the stairs to Bucky's apartment. Steve hadn't shown up to the diner when Mulan made the plans claiming, 'she hasn't seen his tiny ass in a while,' even though she saw him a day ago. Mulan puffed a piece of hair out of her eyes and pushed her purse strap off her shoulder, grabbed her spare key, and pushed the heavy door in.
Mulan threw her bag and key on Bucky's side table and kicked off her heels. As she hooked her jacket on the coat rack her brown eyes turned to his wool coat. A frown grew on her features. Mulan stepped closer to it and fiddled with the buttons, inhaling the musky scent. She leaned herself on the wall beside it and closed her eyes, picturing he was there next to her when a quiet "Hi." made her snap her eyes open and let out a yell of surprise.
Mulan jumped up as her hand flew to her chest. There sitting on the couch was the blonde that ditched her earlier that evening. Her look of shock turned into a scowl, she lifted her finger and furrowed her brows, "You sir have a lot of nerve scaring me like that after you left me in a that, frankly, lousy diner. I'm so cross with you right now, this isn't even all my rage you're seeing. I'm gonna go easy on you though 'cause you're my baby but I swear to you Steve if this happens again I will not hesitate to lay your ass out-" Mulan raged as she wildly moved her hands around.
"I got accepted, i-into the army I mean. It happened when I was supposed to be at the diner, which I'm sorry for but I told you so, their food is just yuck, and I'll never ditch you again. I'm sorry." Steve explained stopping Mulan's ramble.
"What are you saying, s-say it again?" Mulan asked, eyes narrowed in disbelief.
"Um I got accepted into the army, the diner food is trash, and I'm sorry?" Steve answered in confusion.
"Say it again, slow."
"I got accepted into the army, the diner food is trash, and I'm sorry."
"Slow very slow, say the first syllable."
"I got accepted into the army-"
"Wrong." Mulan declared as she walked past Steve with a hand to his face into the kitchen (if you can even call it that) to find a drink.
"Oh cmon 'Lan I can do this y'know this doctor, uh, Erskine gave me this speech and he used 'needed' to describe me, ME! Oh and look I have the file right here. I'm not joking." Steve jabbered then moved to pick up the file from Bucky's couch. By the time he finished Mulan was refilling her glass of wine after downing the first. She could get drunk but it would take a lot more than cheap wine to get her there, and she needed something for the conversation that was occurring.
Steve pushed the manila folder into Mulan's view. She took a deep gulp of the dark red liquid and set the glass to the side as her other hand picked up the paper stamped black with a "1A" showing Steven Grant Rogers was in fact going into the war. "Well, I'll be damned Steven you did it, " Mulan breathed with a pride-fueled smile she moved to take the small man in a tight hug. "I-I guess all my boys are leaving me then." She sniffled.
"Hey now, you know me and Buck are always gonna be here for you n'matter what 'Lan," Steve assured moving his hand up and down her back. He would've hated himself if he made her cry again.
"Yeah I know that it's just, I'm gonna miss you...It's like when the baby bird leaves the nest and I'm the mama bird who just wants to protect its little baby toothpick." Mulan joked as she backed out the hug to ruffle his hair.
"I thought we were having a moment here and now you ruined it." Steve jokingly grumbled and walked away from the woman
"No no Stevie come back, I was just kidding, c'mon you know I was just kidding," Mulan whined after him.
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Exactly four weeks (she counted) had passed since Steve revealed his acceptance to Mulan and one week passed since Steve left for war. She watched him get on a train taking him to train, resurfacing memories of Buck's send-off that she wished to repress. She had an idea though and her mind stung with motivation on the walk home.
"Am I really 'bout to do this?" Mulan muttered to herself while she sat on her knees in front of her long broad mirror with her sleek sliver sword she kept all those years. The idea of going back to war was frightening for her. The leftover trauma and toll it takes on you is something no one can prepare for. But she felt she had to watch over Steve if not for herself but for Bucky and maybe she might even find him out there, somewhere. "Okay okay, just fucking do it don't be a priss. We did this some thousand years ago, we can do this now," Mulan swore as she tightly gripped the sword with one hand and her sleek waist-long hair in the other. At the perfect angle and speed, she snapped her arm out effectively cutting inches of her hair off. "Holy fuck." Mulan whispered once again returning to the short bob and fake identity.
The next step of Mulan's plan was finding a troop whose spot she could take. Thank god Steve told her where he was going or it would've been way more difficult on her. She had found out which train was going to Wheaton, New Jersey and just had to wait at the station to find an eligible man to "save" aka steal their papers and registration and run. That's where she was waiting in the shadows like a not as intimidating predator to its prey.
Black hair, kinda short, Asian ok it's go time, Mulan thought as she pushed herself off the wall towards her target. She purposely bumped into the man making his papers fall out of his hands onto the cement floor and gripped his upper arm, "Oh my I-I'm so sorry that's not like me, geez I'm sorry..." Mulan apologized with a flirtatious smile which made the man flustered.
"Um, Henry I-my uh name's Henry." He said with a nervous smile.
"Eleanor, and it looks like you're shipping off solider, 'shame really," Mulan observed biting her lip before smiling. "Oh you have an eyelash let me just..." she lied and reached forward to touch the man's face before quickly moving her hands to his temple, causing an orange glow to push from her fingertips to his skull effectively knocking him out into Mulan's arms.
"Oh fuck you are a heavy fella huh?" She groaned from the weight of the man on top of her. Mulan grabbed the man's papers, found his address, and opened a portal to his home. Dragging his upper body to his couch, she threw him down and stole his uniform, bags, and papers before leaving and made a note saying,
And with that Mulan Fa became Henry Peterson, ready for war.
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The train ride to the base was smooth except for Mulan having to tape down her boobs and trim all the clothing being way too long for her. In the small bathroom, Mulan stood in the man-ish clothing perfecting her deep voice, "Oh it said I'm 6'5 on the form, well I was just tall that day-- jesus fuck I'm really doing this," She said in a deep voice before stopping midway and putting her face in her hands, drawing out a deep sigh. "You know what it's fine, I'm fine we're just gonna go and blend in, watch after Steve, and-" Mulan rambled now pacing before the conductor announced they arrived. "Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!" She squealed throwing her clothes and papers back into the bag and speed walking out the bathroom.
The base was as Mulan expected, lots of white men and traffic. Lined with army green tents, trucks, and uniforms, she could almost taste the masculinity radiating around her. Dropping her bags on the bed she claimed, Mulan looked around and saw nine other beds, two showers, and toilets. Better than I expected she thought. She sat on her bed going through her papers once more to double-check all the information. "Peggy Carter? Wow a woman ordering men in this age, how absurd." She jokingly claimed. Mulan then laced up her khaki boots needing to hurry to her introduction session.
It had been a week after Mulan started training and she had never wanted to hurt men more. The slick comments about women after training sessions, their odor, them, in general, irritated her. With that adding on to her having to re-tape her tits, always having to get the last coldest shower, and seeing all those dicks out, she was close to losing her sanity. The guys had tried to tease her based on numerous things like her height or her "long hair for a fella", but the comments stopped coming in after she punched a guy in his jaw knocking him straight on his ass dazed.
Mulan was also top in her classes with the codes, drills, gun classes, and physical activity, you name it she was stellar in it. She had already done most of the training before so it was a nice refresher class for her. She was quick, strong, and smart and got moved into a higher division class to find Steve's group. Mulan was very confused about how he got into such a high division but went with it thinking it had something to do with that doctor he told her about.
During the time Mulan got moved into Steve's group she made conversation with the blonde and they once again become close as "Henry" and Steve this time. When he was lagging behind she was there to encourage him to finish out strong. When the other guys made jokes and tried to bully him she forced them to lay off and "Mind their god damn fucking business." Mulan knew Steve wanted this more than anything so she was not about to let him fail.
In a section of the base, her group stood shoulder to shoulder wearing their uniforms and helmets waiting for instructions. Some were goofing off or having conversations but she and Steve just stood attentive ready to comply. "Recruits, attention!" Peggy's voice broke out causing the group to instantly look sharp. "Gentleman, I am Agent Carter," She spoke walking down the line. "I supervise all operations for this division."
"What's with the accent, Queen Victoria?" Hodge spoke. Mulan never liked him, he was too cocky. "I thought I was signing up for the U.S. Army."
"What's your name, soldier?" Peggy asked.
"Gilmore Hodge, your majesty."
"Step forward, Hodge." Peggy snapped. Hodge looked around and took the step. "Put your right foot forward," Peggy ordered as the group was being handed clipboards.
"Mmm...We gonna wrestle? 'Cause I got a few moves I know you'll like." Hodge boasted with a wink only to be met with a strong left hook from Peggy knocking him straight on the dull grass. Mulan snorted as a smile grew on Steve's face.
"Agent Carter!" Colonel Phillips called out.
"Colonel Phillips." Peggy addressed raising her hand to salute him.
"I can see that you're breaking in the candidates. That's good!" Phillips exclaimed walking towards the woman. "Get your ass up out of that dirt and stand in that line at attention till somebody tells you what to do." He called out to Hodge.
"Yes, sir!" He nodded with a fresh bloody nose.
Phillips paused before starting, "General Patton has said that wars are fought with weapons, but they are won by men," It took everything in Mulan's being to not roll her eyes at the older man. "We are going to win this war because we have the best men, " He declared and came to a halt in front of Mulan and eyed Steve, then looked to Erskine before he continued, "And because they are going to get better. Much better. The Strategic Scientific Reserve is an Allied effort made up of the best minds in the free world. Our goal is to create the best army in history. But every army starts with one man. At the end of this week, we will choose that man. He will be the first in a new breed of super-soldiers, and they will personally escort Adolf Hitler to the gates of hell." Colonel Phillips announced which sent the group on their training.
Once again Mulan had to defend and help Steve along the way. First, it was the rope wall climbing where Steve's leg got caught and caused the men to laugh, ending with Mulan pushing one of them off the wall landing on the hard ground a foot or two below. Then it was the wood plank kicked out by Hodge making the barbed wire tumble on Steve. Mulan had already finished by that time and went back under to lift the wire and encourage him to make it through. After that, it was the group running through the Jersey heat with Mulan in the lead and Steve at the end huffing and puffing like he was going to blow a house down.
"Pick up the pace ladies!" Their commanding officer yelled out to the men. "Let's go, let's go! Double time! Come on! Faster! Faster! Move! Move! Squad, halt! That flag means we're only at the halfway point. First man to bring it to me gets a ride back with Agent Carter. Move! Move!" He yelled out encouraging the men to try and reach it. All the men except Mulan and Steve scrambled to try and reach.
Some made it up the pole only to be dragged back down and Mulan used this time to get Steve's attention. "Psst, Steve there's a rod at the end, grab 'em, and that flag's yours." Mulan hinted in her fake masculine tone.
"Nobody's got that flag in 17 years! Now fall back into line! Come on, fall in!" The officer told which made the boys back away and Steve went near the flag pole. "Rogers! I said fall in!" He yelled. Steve then looked up and down the pole, bent down, and pulled out the rod Mulan told him about which caused the pole to fall with a crash.
"Thank you, sir." Steve breathed out handing the officer the flag and hopped into the back of the truck leaving Mulan to watch it drive away with a proud smile on her face.
"Faster, ladies! Come on." Peggy reprimanded as the group did continuous push-ups. "My grandmother has more life in her, God rest her soul," Peggy complained as she paced. Steve and Mulan were side by side in the back with one doing strong, even-paced push-ups and the other grunting to finish theirs off. We all know which is which. "Move it!" Peggy yelled.
"You're not really thinking about picking Rogers, are you?" Colonel Phillips asked as he walked side by side with Dr. Erskine.
"I'm more than just thinking about it. He is the clear choice." The doctor confirmed.
"When you brought a 90-pound asthmatic onto my army base, I let it slide, I thought, what the hell. Maybe he'd be useful to you, like a gerbil, I never thought you'd pick him." Phillips explained as Peggy called the group to rise. "You stick a needle in that kid's arm it's gonna go right through him. Look at that. He's making me cry." Phillips teased Steve's pushups.
"I am looking for qualities beyond the physical," Erskine assured.
"Do you know how long it took me to set up this project? All the groveling I had to do in front of senator whats-his-names committees?"
"I know. I am well aware of your efforts."
"Then throw me a bone. Hodge passed every test we gave him. He's big, he's fast, and he obeys orders. He's a soldier."
"He's a bully."The doctor corrected.
"You don't win wars with niceness, doctor, " Phillips scoffed as he moved to pick up a fake grenade. "You win wars with guts." He picked out the tag and called out, "GRENADE!" This made all the boys run for cover, Mulan included, she didn't feel like getting blown up that day particularly.
Steve threw his small form on top of the explosive and moved into a fetal position. "Get away! Get back!" Steve called out. He then moved up hearing it was a dummy grenade with all eyes on him, "Is this a test?" He panted.
Colonel Phillips looked to the doctor who shrugged with a blank stare and grumbled, "He's still skinny," and walked away. Mulan then helped Steve stand up with an offering of her hand and clapped him on the shoulder with a big grin.
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It was the night before Steve's procedure and he was sitting on his bed reading a book thinking he was alone when Mulan entered the cabin. That night she had decided it was time to come clean to Steve with everything, not knowing if the procedure could go wrong, she didn't want to have any regrets. Mulan quietly made her way to the bathroom, unwrapped her tit tape, fixed her appearance, and walked out the bathroom with a deep breath.
Mulan cleared her throat which gained Steve's attention for him to turn around and see her. "Henry? You uh, you look different?" Steve noted in confusion.
"I mean I hope I look different from a man Stevie." Mulan teased and crossed her arms.
"M-MULAN- 'LAN! HOW ARE YOU HERE?! HOLY-" Steve yelled out and stood in shock only to get cut off with the slap of her hand to his mouth.
"Geez, Stevie you want me to get kicked out or something? For such weak lungs, they carry sound so loud, god. Now I'm gonna move my hand from your mouth and you gotta stay quiet and let me explain everything, alright buddy?" She asked and got a nod in return.
After Steve calmed down Mulan went on to explain the how, what, when, where, and why she was there and he couldn't have been any more shocked. "So you have-" Steve asked.
"Powers." She nodded.
"And you've been alive for-"
"Thousand plus years."
"And this whole time you were acting as a-"
"Man."
"And that guy is still alive right?"
"Yes, Stevie, look I wanted to tell you and Bucky but I just didn't want to scare y'all off, and I was gonna tell you and that meatball but then war struck and he had to go, and then you got accepted and left, and now you have this, I don't know, deadly procedure tomorrow and I wanted to tell you just in case." Mulan rambled with her hands moving animatedly.
"Okay, ha wow um that's crazy, but um, of course, I'm not mad scared of you or something you're like my best friend and my best friend's lover. I'm gonna stick with you 'Lan. And don't worry about me I'm gonna be just fine." Steve reassured with a kind smile.
"Aww my baby toothpick accepts my quirks!" Mulan squealed and rushed to give him a tight squeeze of a hug when the cabin door opened bringing Dr. Erskine who heard the conversation.
"Well I had my assumptions but now I know to always trust my gut." Dr.Erskine began and caused the pair to split away looking like two deer caught in the headlights. "Oh, my apologies I did not mean to fright. I'm actually proud of what you're doing Mulan, takes lots of risk, courage. We will talk in a bit but for now, join me and Steven." Dr. Erskine praised as he moved forward to sit on the opposite bed of Steve and Mulan.
"Oh um cool cool cool cool cool," Mulan whispered in a tone of nervous filled shock.
"Why are you not asleep?" Dr. Erskine questioned.
"I got the jitters, I guess," Steve answered which made the doctor laugh and Mulan smile.
"Me too." Dr. Erskine agreed.
"Can I ask you a question?" Steve asked.
"Just one?" The older man said.
"Why me?"
"I suppose that is the only question that matters," He started then readjusted his grip on the alcohol bottle. The doctor began to tell Steve and Mulan about his serum and Hydra and its leader, Johann Schmidt, a lab experiment gone rouge and how Steve was chosen based on his character. Dr. Erskine finished his speech and reached for the bottle motioning for Steve to grab the cups. "Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing, that you will stay who you are," The man told as he poured out two cups, "Not a perfect soldier, but a good man."
"To the little guys." Steve toasted with a small smile, then the pair clicked their glasses.
Just as Steve was about to sip Dr. Erskine stopped him, "No no, wait wait, what am I doing? No, you have a procedure tomorrow, no fluids."
"Alright, we'll drink it after." Steve brushed off.
"No, I don't have procedure tomorrow. Drink it after? I drink it now."
Mulan then reached forward for the glass and spoke, "Well neither do I so I will happily drink this for you, Stevie." Which made both men chuckle. The doctor sipped his drink while she took hers as a shot before holding her glass out for more like a happy child. The doctor sipped on his drink while she took hers as a shot before holing her glass out for more like a happy child.
𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖲𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗆 𝖻𝗒: 𝖪𝖺𝗅𝗂
𝖴𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗍. 𝖳𝗒𝗅𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖢𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗈𝗋
" The sun'll come out, But we've
been struggling endlessly, so
they will find love, 'Cause
after the storm is when the
flowers bloom— "
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𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ／ i have nothing to say really but OH y'all don't be ghost readers it's not vv nice, feedback is appreciated and comments and all that jazz