George sat in his living room in front of his tv.
This would be a usual thing for when he was not streaming but this time the TV was not on. Instead, George sat in the silent room staring at the floor in front of him. It was happening again.
It had been almost two weeks since he had to end his stream because of this and it had only gotten worse since then. He has been able to keep it under control on the stream but it was getting harder.
He still has not had an anxiety attack which he was thankful for. He just had this constant feeling of dread that he didn't know how to get rid of. Occasionally he would have to sit like he was now and just calm his racing heart.
He realized that he started to pick up his anxiety related habits again. His bouncing leg, trembling hands, picking at his nails and even clenching his jaw constantly. Deep down George knew what this meant. He should get back on medication again because it was coming back and coming back worse.
Still, He just didn't want to admit it. He had gotten better why was this happening again? He knew that if he got back on medication it would be real again and he didn't want that. So, he just convinced himself that he could control it himself.
"Ok yeah ok It is perfectly fine. Just normal." He calmed himself again sighed in relief. He got up and stretched before going to the kitchen to make himself dinner.
The looming thought and worry about his anxiety was all that he could ever think about anymore. It was always on his mind which he knew was only making everything worse. Even when he was playing with his friends and truly happy- it was there.
but, no matter what, he would suppress it. He did not need help.
--
"George you have been way too quiet!" Quackity screamed into his mic. A bunch of them were playing some game they had found randomly. They were all screaming over each other as usual but for once, George wasn't.
This snapped George back into the conversation that he had been ignoring. He had gone deep into his thoughts yet again. It has been happening too often.
"oh shut up i'm tired" he retorted back as naturally as possible.
"hmm ok but you have been weird lately and-" Quackity was cut off by all of a sudden dream screaming in terror.
"WHAT THE FUCK DREAM WHAT HAPPENED??" Sapnap screamed over his screaming.
"I'm sorry I saw a bug" he said sheepishly. Everyone started to laugh at him but George just stayed quite. He knew that dream was never that freaked out over bugs so the scream was for him. He was taking the attention off of him.
He sighed quietly in relief. He couldn't have answered Quackity's question. Dream really always was there for him. He wished he could thank him but than he would expose that something is wrong so he stayed quite.
Besides George was convincing himself that nothing was wrong. He didn't need help if he was fine.
A few rounds of the game in George had almost forgotten about everything. He was enjoying himself and talking how he usually would.
Other than the quite in the beginning, it was going really well for George. For once he almost felt normal again.
Sadly, with his cursed luck, it just couldn't last. Out of no where, George abruptly stopped talking and gasped loud enough for everyone to hear.
"George you ok there?" Karl asked over Quackitly laughing. He just thought he had chocked on the air or something along those lines. They all were laughing at the weird noise he had made assuming the same thing.
George could not answer Karl. He was too focused on steadying his breathing that was all of a sudden frantic. His heart was beating so hard that he was afraid they could hear it. Thankful that his camera was off, he stood up shaking both of his hands frantically trying to redirect the energy to them.
Why was this happening? Nothing had happened to even trigger his panic. He was just sitting there and all of a sudden he couldn't breathe.
Shaking his hands had was enough to steady his voice but he knew it wouldn't for long so he had to end it quickly. He zoned back into he call to hear them all calling his name.
"GEORGE!!" the main voice was Dream's who was filled with actual concern. The rest of them didn't think too much of it.
"yes yes sorry guys I choked on my water" he answered as even enough that they could not pickup the panic.
They all abrupted into laughter. "I KNEW ITTTT" Quackity yelled over them.
George's wrists started to hurt from how badly he was shaking them. He knew he had to hang up. "You know what I am leaving" he said in his normal sassy tone.
"nooooooo don't leave we are sorry!" Bad said through his laughter.
"Nope I am tired anyway I need to sleep bye!" without hearing a response George hung up quickly. He knew he would get a few suspicious people later but he will deal with that when it happens.
For now, he needed to calm himself.
"no no no this cannot be happening" he whispered to himself as he paced his room. He was close. Closer than he has in years to a full anxiety attack.
His counting was not helping neither was his breathing exercises. His mind began to become unfocused and his vision was blurring. He knew he was losing his grasp of reality. His breathing became so heavy he knew soon he would not be able to stop it.
It wasn't even an anxiety attack anymore. He was going to have a full panic attack. Just that realization sent him deeper into panic.
All of his attempts had failed and he knew that he couldn't stop it anymore. Falling onto the ground gripping his chest, George just prayed that it would be over soon. That it wouldn't get too bad. But, he knew that was unlikely. He shut his eyes tight scared to even open them.
All of a sudden he heard distantly his phone going off. With all the strength he had, he grabbed his phone and saw the person that sent him a message was dream. It was a voice message.
With his hands trembling and his breathing just loud gasps at that point he played it.
"Hey Georgeeee I just wanted to check up on you since you left so abruptly." Through his panic George listened closely even though his collapsing body that wanted to reject any outside presence. Dreams voice was just so soothing and calm.
"I am guessing you are sleeping so I didn't want to call you and wake you up you know? well yeah please get back to me when you wake up. I was thinking for a new video we could-" Dream rambled. He was going on about a new video idea that he was really excited for. Every single ounce of attention that George could muster was on his voice and his idea.
"-oh ha I didn't mean to talk that much other a stupid voice message that's stupid. You probably wont even listen to this but whatever. Anyway rest well gogy talk to me later" the message ended and George let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
He was... He was calm?
Well not completely calm but enough that he was able to sit back and let his body rest.
Dream had somehow managed to calm him down with his ridiculous voice message.
Weakly, george laid down fully on the floor just staring at the ceiling. His eyes quickly filled with tears that he couldn't control. He had a panic attack and he was terrified. It wasn't even as bad as it would have gotten if it wasn't for the voice message. Just how bad was it going to get?
His quiet tears slowly turned into soft sobs. Even though no one else was in the apartment, he felt ashamed to be crying. He just felt so weak.
He knew that if he had the full panic attack it would have been worse then any one before. That means not only is it back, its worse.
Soon enough his eyes dried not having the energy to cry any longer. In fact, his entire body was overwhelmingly numb. Moving seemed impossible so he just stayed lying on the floor.
He fell asleep, too tired to even have another thought never getting the chance to respond to what had kept him grounded.
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