Lyssa sighed as Saturday morning came upon her. She wanted so badly to see and talk to Bex, but also knew that wasn't the best course of action at the moment. Had she really called Rebecca, Elizabeth? She couldn't remember.
This is why you don't get drunk, Lyssa concluded. Who knows what one might accidentally say? Just the thought of her letting the name slip to Rebecca made her insides knot together. Was it true? Did Lyssa only like Rebecca because of her resemblance in both look and character to Elizabeth?
She moved old boxes of finished art pieces that she worked on to the attic. Stacking the boxes four high as she walked down the halls and up the stairs. As she pulled the ladder down from the attic the top box came tumbling down spilling out many sketches of her, Elizabeth.
She put up the three boxes before kneeling down and picking up the sketches. The whole box was full of her. Of her signature smile, of those playful eyes. That carefree spirit leaping off the paper and crashing into Lyssa. If she closed her eyes she could still hear her laugh.
"You are cruel to me," Lyssa picked up a sketch of the girl laughing into a smile. "Always ruining my relationships. Always reminding me of your face. How very unfair."
She placed the sketch into the box and picked up all the others that had spilled out. Then she placed it in the attic with the others. When that was done Lyssa went back into the art studio to grab more boxes, she paused by her sketchbook which was sitting open.
She let her hand glide across the paper before grabbing it and sitting down to draw. Her hands moved back and forth rapidly as she used charcoal to shade in areas darker. She cleared her head of all that was bothering her and just let her hands move on their own. When she was done she stared at it.
Her first official sketch of Rebecca.
She had the hazel eyes painting but that wasn't of Bex's whole face. This drawing captures every little detail of Rebecca perfectly. Lyssa let her hands gently trace the curve of Bex's cheek, staring at the drawing for some time.
There was something about it, no something about Rebecca that intrigued her. The way she made her smile. That warmth Lyssa always got when she was around her. She thought of how cute Bex was when she was trying to get to Lyssa in one or another. How Bex protected her and offered her blood to her to save her. The way Bex would grab her hand and interlock their fingers. When she closed her eyes she could see Rebecca's warm and bright smile, hear Rebecca's heartbeat.
The landline to the house started ringing causing her to jolt in place and ripping her from her daydream. Her brows scrunched together in confusion before she walked over to the phone she hardly, if ever used, and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Found you," An overly sweet voice chirped through the line.
Lyssa tensed up; her lips creased into a thin line.
"You know it doesn't take me long to track you down when I need to."
"What do you want?" Lyssa spat.
"Wow, I don't even get a, how are you? How rude," The girl said in her natural English tone, similar to Lyssa's.
"Lacy, unless you tell me why you called, I'm hanging up," Lyssa threatened.
"As irritable as ever I see. Well, I suppose I should cut to the chase. I was ordered to do a check-in on you, so of course, I had to track you down first. Can you imagine my surprise when I find you with a blood slave no less? The pack had a field day with that information. Of course, I said surely not my Val. This had to be some kind of mistake. I know how you feel about the idea of blood slaves. Yet... while I was watching you, I saw her face, and then it all made sense."
"I don't have to answer to you or the pack! I already told you to leave me alone!"
"Touchy. You always were weak when it came to your precious Elizbeth. The pack is ready to take you back in Val. You know you can't make it that far without us. You need us. You need me."
"I don't need anyone, especially not you."
"Twenty years and you still aren't over it?"
"You left me! All for him, don't pretend that never happened. I am done with you and your games! I am done with the pack; I will not be their puppet anymore. You shouldn't have to be either. Don't call me again, don't ever come around me again, I don't even want to see your face again! Just stay away!" Lyssa slammed the phone down, hanging up the call.
Lyssa stomped back into the art studio where the blond in the painting stared at her. She narrowed her eyes at it.
"So typical of you to think you can just snap your fingers and I will come crawling. Well, times have changed!"
She grabbed the sheet that somehow kept coming uncovered and moved it back in place.
Bex sat in the living room munching on snacks and watching tv when a sudden spike of emotions made her wince. She could feel Lyssa's irritation and heartache, her anger. She tried to push the emotions away like she had been practicing, it worked at first and she able to go back to watching tv.
Then it was like a bomb went off. She could feel sadness and fear, a whirlwind of emotions coming from Lyssa. She sighed and turned the tv off, knowing it was no use.
"Everything okay sweetie?" Her mom asked as she came downstairs and saw Bex sitting in the living room with the Tv off.
"I think Lyssa needs me," Bex sighed.
"How do you know?"
"I just do," Bex got up and walked into the kitchen after her mother.
"I thought you said you were done with that girl."
"She's still my friend. I can't just let her mope all day. She lives alone mom, no family, no friends, nothing but herself. I'm just worried about her," Bex sat the snacks on the counter.
"She has no one?" Her mom began to worry.
"No, just me, and now not even that. Do you think maybe I could go see her?"
Her mom frowned.
"Please mom, I won't stay over, and I promise not to get back together with her. I'm just worried that's all."
"Fine, but only because I know if I say no, you will just sneak out anyway."
"Thank you!" She hugged her mom.
Bex ran upstairs to change and put her shoes on. Soon after she was out the front door and at Lyssa's house. When she got there she just stood at the door for a moment, trying to think of what to say. She knew she was harsh on Lyssa, but she also knew there was truth to her words.
Lyssa opened the door before she could think of anything.
"What are you doing here Rebecca?"
It was clear she had been crying as tear stains streaked down her cheeks.
"I uh, felt you. I just thought maybe you'd want someone to talk to."
They stared at each other for a moment before Lyssa sighed and stepped aside to let Bex in.
Lyssa led Bex to the art studio, Bex let out a sharp gasp at the sight of it. It was trashed. All the painting and drawing of the blond, known as Lacy ripped up and obliterated. All expect one. The big one that sat in the corner, halfway uncovered.
"Lyssa! Look what you've done. You ruined them all. They were beautiful."
"She's not beautiful, she's a monster and I hate her."
Bex sighed and got on her knees and started cleaning the mess. Lyssa watched her.
"Don't just stand there, help me," Bex grumbled.
Lyssa kneeled in front of Bex and grabbed Bex's hand in her own, forcing her to stand again.
"You are not my maid Rebecca. You are my... friend."
Bex smiled softly at her.
"Come, this is not why I brought you in here. I want to show you something," Lyssa led her away from the mess.
Lyssa grabbed the sketchbook and handed it to Bex. Bex's eyes went wide at the beautiful portrait of herself. Her fingers ran down the paper softly.
"It is my personal tradition that when a new muse inspires me, I always give them my first portrait of them. It's yours now."
"Wow, Lyssa... I don't know what to say. I mean, thank you. I really like it."
"Thank you, for coming to check on me," Lyssa smiled at her
"Are you okay?" Bex asked.
"Now who is the one asking questions? Yes, Rebecca, I am fine. Old wounds still not healed is all."
"Talk to me," Bex grabbed Lyssa's hand in her own. "I want to know more about you, about your past, about the blond, about that other girl. You can talk to me Lyssa, it's okay."
Lyssa sighed and walked out of the room, Bex followed.
Bex was led into a grand-sized ballroom with a single piano in it. Her jaw dropped at the sight.
"Wow!" she said in amazement.
Lyssa walked over to the piano and ran her fingers over the keys causing the notes to echo off the walls.
Bex walked over to her.
"I have a lot of baggage Rebecca. There is a lot about me that once you know, you can never unknow. This is why I hesitate to open up to you. I don't want your perception of me to be tainted forever. Betrayal is a common theme in my life, and I am not sure if I can handle it coming from you."
"I'm in your head, you feel what I feel. How could I ever betray you without you knowing?"
"It has happened before," Lyssa clutched the center of her chest. "And I shall never forget it," she whispered.
"Tell me," Bex begged.
Lyssa took a deep breath before outstretching her hand to Bex, signaling she wanted to dance.
"Oh I, uh, I don't, I mean I can't-"
"Relax, just step on my feet and I shall guide you."
Lyssa pulled a small remote out of her pocket and pressed a button that began to play a waltz. She set the remote down on the piano before pulling Bex into her, their bodies pressed close together. Bex swallowed loudly, stepping carefully on Lyssa's feet. She could do nothing to hide the blush on her cheeks or the emotions swirling in her head.
"Back straight Rebecca," Lyssa grabbed Bex's right hand and placed it on her hip. Then she grabbed Bex's left hand and interlocked their fingers.
"Where exactly is this music even coming from?" Bex asked.
"What? You think just because I am a mean old vampire that I don't know how to use technology?"
"You still have a landline, and I have yet to see a single computer or Tv in this place," Bex pointed out.
"Ah, but Rebecca there are still so many rooms left to be explored. Just because you have not seen it, does not mean it's not there," Lyssa smirked.
They moved to the rhythm of the music, slowly dancing to the song for a moment. Bex had never danced with anyone before and she sort of liked it. She felt all mushy inside being able to see this softer side of Lyssa.
"So, I have given some thought as to what you said to me," Lyssa began after a short pause.
"And?" Bex looked into her eyes.
"For the most part, you are right. The only reason why I love you if because you remind me of her. Even now, it is painful for me to be around you. Impossible to look at you and not see her."
"Tell me."
"Her name was Elizabeth, and she was divine."
The hairs on Bex's arm rose at the sound of the name. There was something ominous about Lyssa finally speaking about the girl. Something that felt haunted. Maybe Lyssa was the one who was haunted. Bex felt sad at the thought.
"I used to think being turned into a vampire was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was just a girl back then, someone with no power or authority. To be given this gift, this second chance...changed everything. Little did I know that this gift was actually a curse."
Lyssa paused to give Bex a gentle twirl before resuming their dance.
"As a young naïve vampire, I caused quite the stir back in the day. I used my newfound powers and abilities to take revenge on those who had wronged me in my previous life. This is a very typical mistake that many fresh reborn's do. It is why only 50% of reborn's survive past the first five years after being transformed. I nearly became that statistic. I made all sorts of vampire slayers come out of the woodwork. It was a lot easier to get found out back then. More people believed in the supernatural, more people were very religious."
Bex listened attentively to Lyssa's story and never broke eye contact with her. They moved all around the ballroom to the music, Lyssa was sure to keep a firm grip on Bex. Bex soaked up every detail of the story, completely drawn in.
"I had to flee because of the slayers. I was constantly on the run throughout England. I quickly found that by being a female I had no claim to my name and was quite possibly going to be stuck as a lower class citizen for the rest of my life. So, I disguised myself as a strapping young chap. Cut off all my hair, bound my chest, and wore men's clothing. I worked in the new factories for pay. I was the best worker there because I could do thrice the amount of work and never get tired. The owner quickly found out what I was. To keep my secret, we struck a deal, I would work for him long hours without breaks and he would not report me to the church. It worked in both of our favor. As it happened his daughter was to be engaged to a rival company's son. This was for business only; their marriage was to symbolize the two companies' merger. She was only 16, her spouse to be was 26."
"Is the daughter Elizabeth?" Bex asked
"Yes. You see her father began to get cocky and arrogant. He started paying me less and working me more. He threatened me, said if I didn't do what he said he would report me. Though I was disguised as a man; I was still a working-class citizen and still didn't have much sway in public opinion. I became his slave, doing whatever he said in fear that I would get found out. I was eager to retaliate against him," Lyssas paused to dip Bex.
Bex began to get the rhythm of the dance and stepped off Lyssa's feet to move on her own.
"What did you do?" Bex asked.
"I went to his house one night to kill him, I found he was out gambling. This is why he desperately needed that company merger. He was using his daughter to get more money. Basically, selling her off. His daughter was not out though, and the moment I laid eyes on her something just changed inside of me. I had to have her; she was divine. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Back then I had convinced myself that by dressing like a man I had somehow given myself manly desires, it was hard to accept my truth back then."
"Was she really that great?" Bex asked.
"She was. But liking a woman was very forbidden and taboo back then. Something like that could get you thrown in jail or even killed. As my new form of revenge against her father, it was my intention to kill her. I sunk my fangs into her throat, and she woke up, completely startled by me. Once our eyes locked, I was, as they say, a sucker. We formed a bond almost instantly. Night after night I would return to her, sometimes not even drinking her blood just talking with her. Getting to know her, she was everything. She was nice, funny, very free-spirited, and outgoing. She wasn't one to back off from a challenge and she was always too curious for her own good."
The song changed and Lyssa paused and waited for the new rhythm to begin before she resumed dancing. Bex stumbled a bit but quickly found the new rhythm and kept up with Lyssa.
"One night, after we had been secretly meeting up for about two months, she kissed me. Mind you she thought I was a man. That kiss was marvelous. With it, we unlocked the next stage of our bond, our emotions became intertwined. I learned that she actually despised her husband to be and was very angry at her father. She began to suspect that I was hiding something, she didn't figure it out then, but I knew it was only a matter of time."
"What did you do?" Bex was now fully invested in the story, hardly paying attention to the waltz they were locked in.
"I continued to lie about everything, I denied everything. It was futile in the end, as we grew closer, she found out on her own. One night she dared to make love to me. I tried to stop her, but once she ripped my shirt off and saw my bounded chest, my secret was revealed. I thought for sure that was going to be the end, I was so scared. The thought of losing her, after everything, made me weak. Yet even after she discovered my truth, she simply chuckled before looking me in the eyes and kissing me once more. I was in love. I knew at that moment I wanted to be with her forever. Our bond grew even stronger and I could hear her thoughts. Which is how I found out she too was hiding a secret. One that would lead to my downfall."
"What was the secret?"
"The family she was marrying into, her new husband, they all came from an elite group of vampire slayers. Elizabeth and I spent nearly two years together in secret. Even after she was married, we continued our secret affair. She loved me and I loved her."
The music stopped and Lyssa stopped dancing.
"Did they..." Bex trailed off, wondering if the family had found out about Lyssa and tried to kill her.
"No," Lyssa turned away and walked back over to the piano.
Bex followed her.
"You see, they had begun to suspect that Elizabeth was up to something. All the blood-drinking was making her weak and ill. I tried my best to restrain myself but back then there was no way to make it better if I accidentally drank too much. Not only was she getting sick, but she refused to sleep with her husband. Which was very frowned upon."
Lyssa once again ran her fingers over the piano keys, Bex put a comforting hand on Lyssa's shoulder.
"One night when I came in, as usual, I asked her to run away with me. She declined. The next night I told her that if she didn't run away with me I would order her to. We got into a bit of an argument. I told her I loved her and that I couldn't be without her. I said she was dying and that I needed to turn her for us to be together forever. She declined even still. The next day while I was away sleeping in my coffin, her husband found the marks I had left on her skin. Hickeys and bruises from our lovemaking. He accused her of cheating, but she swore she wasn't. He hit her," Lyssa slammed her fist down on the low end of the keys.
Bex could tell it was getting harder and harder for Lyssa to go on. She eyed her in worry and tried her best to be there for her. She could feel Lyssa's rage bubbling up just thinking of the memory.
"When I came to her the next night she was crying, hurting. She agreed to run away with me. I told her I would protect her from now on, and as I laid in bed with her, comforting her, she grabbed a stake made of pure silver and jammed it into my heart..." a tear fell down Lyssa's cheek and onto the piano.
"What! No, how awful."
"She betrayed me. It was the worst thing I ever experienced, but not because of her betrayal, but because we were bonded and I knew she had basically stabbed herself. She signed her own death sentence. I didn't even cry out, we both just stared at each other. I could feel her regret, hear her thoughts of sorrow as she apologized to me. Even then I could still feel how much she loved me. I was basically paralyzed; I couldn't do anything. She dragged my body all by herself to the cemetery. She was crying so much, horrified at what she had done. She knew I was still alive; she could feel me. Yet that didn't stop her from throwing me into a coffin and burying me six feet under."
"Lyssa," Bex wrapped her arms around her from behind.
"I could hear her thoughts; I knew she did it because she felt like she had no choice. She thought I was going to get her killed or kill her myself on accident. She was afraid for her soul. Afraid people would find out about us. Find out she had been laying with a woman, and not just any woman, a vampire. She was only doing what she thought she had to. For three days we could feel each other's suffering. I was still connected to her when they killed her. They had found out anyway. She had gone to confess her sins, a priest had overheard and told everyone what she had done. They beat her, hung her, before setting fire to her body. I felt every last agonizing second of it. Her last thought was of me; she was sorry for what she had done to me, even sorrier because she knew that no one knew I was under there. So, there I stayed in that coffin for 20 years. Waiting to be let free, if ever such a day would come. No air, no food, nothing but my own thoughts."
"How did you get out?" Bex asked.
"Construction on the land unearthed me. I broke free and in my starving fury, took revenge on her whole family. I slaughtered them all. The priest too. That town became a blood bath and a nightmare. They called me the red widow. Slayers came after me from all sides and I took my revenge out on all of them. None of them loved her as I had, her husband even got with a new woman just days after her death. I enjoyed killing him the most. I caused a bit of an uproar in the vampire community, being as many thought me dead. They were surprised and thought of this as my third resurrection. In my absence vampires had really blossomed and formed packs and had new rules. I was in violation of a lot of those rules, so they began to hunt me too, I would only be captured nearly 100 years later by the blond monster, her name is Lacy. But that is another story entirely," Lyssa sighed and turned to leave the room.
"Thank you for telling me all of that. I know it couldn't have been easy."
"You deserved to know. You remind me of my Elizabeth so much. Everything about you is almost exactly like her, but I know you are not her. And I am deeply sorry for making you think that was all I saw in you."
"If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just turn her anyway?"
"She didn't want it, and who was I to force my lifestyle on her? That experience has shaped me today. My trust forever stained in blood. I would try again and again to make a bond like what I had with her, but again and again, I was betrayed, attacked, hunted down, and nearly killed. Getting involved with you, there are only three ways I see this ending. The first being you will betray me. The second being that I will have to watch you age and die, just like I have had to do with many friends and loved ones in the past. The third is that you will ask me to change you, something I swore I would never do again. Not after the results of me doing it the one time. I resist you, Rebecca, because I know one way or another, I will lose you."
"Do you really need to think about that right now? Can't you just enjoy what you have while you have it?"
"I wish I could think that way, but my life has been painful enough as it is. I don't know if I can take much more," Her voice shook and Bex could tell Lyssa was crying.
She ran to her and embraced from behind.
"Don't say that. I just met you. I don't want you going anywhere."
"Eternal life is no blessing, it is the cruelest, sickest joke anyone has ever played on me. I would give everything to trade places with you. Losing people I love, over and over has made me cold inside and out. I know how the story ends; I've been down this road many times before. Yet despite all that, I find myself down the same path because I am weak."
"You are not weak, wanting love and affection does not make you weak. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to help you through the loneliness. I am here now, I'm your friend. You don't have to be alone anymore."
Lyssa broke down, falling to her knees on the floor. Bex held her in her arms, rocking Lyssa softly. Lyssa cried into her chest, holding her tightly. Bex had finally done it, she had finally gotten past the first wall of Lyssa Norwood.
Behind that wall, she found a girl full of pain and sadness. A girl very lonely and very tired, but most importantly she had found a piece of the real Lyssa. Of the girl under all the malice and bitterness. She held that piece close to her heart, warming it with her own.