I could not wait for high school to be over. I was ready to be out in the world and on my own. Of course, there were people I would miss, but after the way things turned out with Stevien, I was more than ready to be out of that town.
Rocky decided she was going to take a year off between high school and college. I thought about going to college but had no idea what I wanted to do with that path. I remembered her talking about traveling during that year off and decided to I followed along with Rocky. We decided to do about a year of traveling around the world before figuring out the next step we each would take. I found out at commencement that Stevien had decided to attend Harvard and he received a full-ride scholarship for baseball and his GPA. There was no doubt in my mind that he would achieve anything he put his mind to, including shutting me out indefinitely. I was struggling so much with losing my dearest, longest friend, that one night, I finally broke down. I cried on the shoulder of the only other person I knew who would be honest with me, Rocky. We sat outside my window, on the roof, looking up at the sky.
"What is wrong with me? Why won't he look at me or talk to me? What did I do wrong? Why does he hate me?" I blurted out in sobs.
"Shhh. There is nothing wrong with you El. You are the best person I know. You would never hurt anyone, and he is more than smart enough to realize that you did nothing wrong. I can't tell you why he is acting this way. It makes no sense to me. You were best friends for so long. Even Jacob says he seems different. The only thing I can think would be that maybe Beth-Ann got under his skin and turned him against you. I honestly don't know, but he is crazy to think she is good for him. She is only poison to him." Rocky said giving me the hug that I didn't know I needed.
"You once said that he completely shut you out after the accident, I bet that he is just projecting his fear onto you. I bet when he looks at you, he remembers his dad: how strong his dad used to be and how he is now. Stevien just doesn't realize that his dad will get better and that it just takes a lot of time. His dad is young and will bounce back. I don't know. Maybe you could talk to Mr. Jones to see if he has any insight?"
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong with me?"
"El. You need to stop this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you." Rocky paused for a moment before continuing. "It doesn't do you any good to dwell on the past." She said rubbing my back.
"You need to understand that he is probably still hurting and has no idea how to deal with it. I bet if you sat down and listened to him, you would know."
"That's just it Rocky, he won't talk to me. He doesn't even look at me. It's like I don't exist in his world anymore and it hurts. It hurts so bad. I miss him so much!" I angrily cried out. It seemed as though fate or Karma or whatever it is, was out to get me. I lost my best friend in the blink of an eye and it felt like I would never get him back. I missed my best friend.
The next day was graduation followed by many graduation parties and open houses. Stevien had a joint party with a couple of his friends on the different sports teams and of course Beth-Ann. I wasn't sure if I should make my way to his party with all the tension that was between us. The fact that Beth-Ann loathed me made me question it even more, but Rocky was bound and determined to drag me to every party she could attend. I couldn't say "no" to her, after all, she was just trying to help me feel better, and she had a huge crush on Jacob Bailey. He was one of the basketball team captains our senior year. He was the typical high school jock: arrogant and overconfident but could make most girls swoon with his smirky smile that added to his natural good looks. Poor Rocky fell under his charms when we were freshmen and had been stuck there ever since.
I decided I would try to talk to Stevien while we were there. I had a feeling it probably wouldn't happen, especially with Beth-Ann around. I wrote him a letter and placed it in a blank envelope just in case I was unable to get close enough to talk to him. I knew Rocky could place it in his card box if I couldn't. I was miserable, worrying about every possibility of what could go wrong, that I hadn't even thought that there was a chance something would go right.
Rocky and I walked into Jacob Bailey's mansion of a house, nearly the size of Rocky's, to find the party out back by the pool. I knew there would be a lot of people there as these graduates were easily the most popular kids in school. However, I hadn't imagined that nearly the whole senior class, as well as all the relatives of the four celebrated graduates, would be there all at the same time. If the house had been any smaller, the Fire Marshall would have had a panic attack at the number of people inside and out.
I found Mrs. Bailey in the kitchen and asked her where the card boxes were for the graduates hoping that they were in a separate area. However, she pointed me to the patio where each graduate had a little booth full of pictures and other memorabilia from the years of school. There were baby pictures up through senior pictures for all four people. I noticed the picture of Jacob, Rocky, and I from prom in Jacob's booth and smiled slightly. Stevien's booth was in between Jacob and Beth-Ann's and had numerous awards, trophies, certificates of excellence, and of course the cutest toddler pictures his mother could find plastered next to his gorgeous senior pictures.
As I looked closer at the pictures, I realized that there was only one of me on his picture board. It was a small picture of his brothers and me when Stevien and I were probably seven. I was holding Tyrus while Jeremiah was standing in front of Stevien, captured and held in place by Stevien's arm around his neck. I was sure that no one except the Joneses, my dad, and I would know that it was me holding Tyrus. He was so big in the picture that he covered nearly my whole body, only one lopsided pigtail and a single eye were visible. I remembered that day and smiled once more before I began to think of the last half of our senior year. He had cut me out of his life and maybe that was why there was only one picture of our, once dear friendship on his board.
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach as it tightened with nerves, my hands began to sweat like it was their job, my face felt like it was catching on fire, and my eyes were rapidly filling with tears. Rocky took one look at me and dragged me over to the coolers that were full of ice-cold beverages. She grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to me.
"Here. Drink and dab some on your face." Rocky said to me in a soft, yet commanding tone.
"Rocky, I-I don't think I can do this," I replied suddenly losing all the courage I have ever had in my entire life.
"El, you can do this. Just try to think of how you interacted before all this stuff happened. Think about how you two were last year when it was easy to talk to him. Treat it like those times, like the good times, not the bad. You've got this El. I know you do." Rocky responded, trying to boost my confidence back up.
"Besides, how am I supposed to talk to Jacob if I have to make sure you don't pass out on me? Talk about a buzzkill." Rocky added with her sarcastic smirk.
"Ouch Raquelle! That hurt." I replied sarcastically moving my hand over my heart but gave her a brief smile before thanking her for the confidence boost.
I watched as she sauntered over to Jacob's booth. She seemed like a woman on a mission, making her way in a b-line to talk with Jacob. Just before she got to him, she looked at me then pointed at me, then pointed to Stevien, and mouthed the word now to me before catching Jacob by the arm. Before I knew what was happening, she kissed him on the cheek. Both flushed in apparent embarrassment. She certainly was bold.
I then made my way to Stevien's booth as per Rocky's command, noticing that Beth-Ann was not at his side. I decided that was my chance, my moment to talk to him. I tapped him on his shoulder, and he turned around to find me there, gawking awkwardly.
"Stevien, could I please talk with you for a minute?" I asked him quietly.
"Eliotte, I don't know that there is anything to talk about." He replied crossly.
"You know that is not true. We used to talk about everything and hang out and then one day...I don't know. It was like...one day we were best friends that were inseparable and then the next day you...you cut me out of your life. Like I no longer existed to you. And I want to know why. I want to know what I did to make you treat me like I am less than a speck of dirt. So please, Stev. Would you please just talk to me?" I spewed on the verge of tears.
"Oh, sweetie. That is just what you are. A speck of dirt... that is on the bottom... of our shoes."
That statement from Beth-Ann was nearly the straw that broke the camel's back. The final straw quickly followed as Stevien didn't stand up for me. He didn't even glance my way after Beth-Ann spoke. I knew then that I officially lost my best friend. All twelve plus years of our friendship were gone, left in the past, never to return. I simply nodded and turned around. I spotted Rocky speaking with Jacob and walked over to them. I handed her the envelope without speaking a word about it because she knew what to do with it.
"I am going to go home now. Thanks for bringing me, Rocky. Congratulations Jacob and good luck in college." I said, giving Rocky and Jacob each a hug, before walking back through the house. As I was closing the door to the patio, I thought I heard someone say my name, but I merely kept walking.
I still wanted to talk to him before he left for college, to a different state, to a different time zone, and a new and different life, without me, but I was done waiting on him. If he wanted to talk, he knew where to find me, but I wasn't going to hold my breath waiting on him to talk. I was going to pick up the pathetic pieces of my broken self and I was going to throw caution to the wind. After all, I had decided to travel the world with Rocky after this summer was over. I needed to get over it all before leaving.
Word Count: 2004