This was requested by someone idk who it was but here it is
And sorry for being inactive i have been being stupid
This picture hurts me^😭🤚
Xiao...
Xiao
Xiao
Xiao.
He was a poor soul.
He is scared, scared from the old memories.
The voices.
They play in his head while he sleeps.
They play in his head while hes awake.
They play all the time.
They traumatized him, thick shell now coating his true kind heart.
But his cold demeanor makes the people that see him think otherwise.
They dont know all of the pain and terror hes witnessed.
They dont know what the feeling of being used to kill is like.
They dont know what is feels luke to be a yaksha.
But, there was one person who was not effected by the guardian yakshas cold antics.
Y/n.
She treated xiao with care, as if he was going to break at any moment.
Her heart of gold purifies the air near her and brings happiness.
She was gentle with xiao, calm and kept to his liking.
She would often bring him gifts, his favorite almond tofu, qixing flowers, and his favorite out of all,
Love.
He never noticed that the love that she gave him eas what he needed most.
Infact, he thinks he hates it.
The feeling of being traped, to then free from ties would feel nice, no?
Well, when all you've known is pain and fear, when you get any feeling of happiness it makes you feel as if that was wrong.
So every time xiao has gotten any love or kindness, he pushes it away thinking that its bad.
Y/n caught on to this quickly. She was trying to help xiao, but he kept getting aggravated and wanted her to leave him alone.
So instead she gave him space, but when she did see him she was extra caring.
She would spot him on the roof of wangshu inn and walk up behind him spooking him.
She would then pat the adeptis head.
He would be confused by her actions and ask why she did that with a scowl.
She brushed it off and talked to him about whatever she was doing.
It didnt show that he was listening but he was.
He would try to keep up and prosses whatever you said.
If you mentioned something that you liked, he would make sure to remeber that.
The poor yaksha wondered why he wanted to remember these things.
He tried to ignore you but there was part of him telling him to keep you close.
Blood.
Tears.
Empty.
Xiao was chains to these.
In a room full of blood, red, and loneliness.
The karma wraps around his body, a dreadful feeling.
It corners him in pain, of each and everything hes ever slain.
But that was his job.
To slay the demons and protect the city of liyue.
That was a contract that he could never break.
Because, the all and mighty rex lapis, the god of war, had saved him from a terrible being.
It forced him to kill innocent beings and wreak havoc.
When rex lapis saved him, xiao wanted to make a contract.
"Rex lapis, for saving me from the horrid thing that controlled me, i would like to make a contract with you."
"Make me a yaksha, and let me protect your people. I do not wish for anything, to experice the sheer pain i have."
"I will protect them, even if it costs my life, i will."
"Boo!"
Xiao turns around and sees you with your hands on his shoulders.
That feeling again.
The fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
He wants it to leave.
It keeps bothering him everytime he looks at you.
Just when your near him.
The stars twinkle above the 2 people, the moon shines faintly.
Xiao scoffs and pulls himself away from your grasp.
"What do you want." Xiao calls out as you gaze warmly at him.
"Nothing... i just wanted to talk with you."
He closes his eyes and crosses his arms.
"What was it this time."
You often ran into hillichuls and wanted to tell him what happend.
"Today was not a slime, but a-"
Xiao thinks about what could it have been.
If it wasnt a slime, it probably wasn't a normal hillichuls.
"Wait, before i tell my story lets go on the roof.
Xiao stiffens, but he follows you to the roof.
"Okayyyyyy so i found one of those nice hillichuls!!"
Xiao has a surprised expression.
"It was sleeping on the ground, so i quietly snuck over to it."
"But before i could get too close, i heard something behind me."
Xiaos mind races about what it could be. His eyes widened a bit.
"There was an abyss mage! It was a pyro one!"
Xiao sits up more and looks into your eyes with a serious look.
"Are you hurt."
You shoot him a confused look before smiling warmly.
"I did, but im fine now."
Xiao couldnt understand how you could be so calm about this.
"Where."
"Xiao im ok, i healed it a bit."
He sighs before turning to face you fully.
"Just...show me where you got hurt."
You comply and lift up your sleeve to reveal a large burn mark on your inner forearm.
Xiao looks at the wound with shock.
His heart started beating faster, he was worried for you. He didnt want to see you hurt.
It pained him, but in a way that he couldn't explain
It was different than the terror.
It was him caring for you. Hes never experienced this before.
And if he did, hes forgotten.
His fingers run over the burn mark.
"You should have called me. I would have saved you and you wouldnt be hurt right now."
"But xiao, i can defend myself and I know how to fight. Im going to get hurt sometimes."
He scrunches his face.
"But i dont want to see you hurt. Speak my name."
"Xiao, i was fine really, it doesnt hurt that bad."
Instead of his gentle hold he grips your arm.
"I dont care."
His voice silences you.
"Xiao... you dont want to lose anymore people you hold close. Thats what it is, right..."
You say with a gentle voice startling him.
His eyes widen as he looks at you with scowl.
"Why...why would you bring that up."
You sit still with blank expression.
Xiao has lost meny people that he has befriended.
But with him being immortal, they die and he has to live without them.
Why did he befriend you then?
Xiao cant even answer that.
Feeling his throat tightening, his eyes burn.
"I didnt want to think about that...i just wanted to make sure you were ok."
His voice cracks as he begins to realize what hes doing.
He was holding onto your arm so tight, his nails were digging in and cutting you.
He pulls his hand away quickly and sees the crescent shaped marks turn red with blood.
"Xiao..."
You didn't care. Your arm was fine. But you could see xiao starting to get worked up, and were wondering if he was ok.
Instead of holding onto your arm he clenches his fists closed.
His breath started to shake.
It was werid for xiao.
If anyone else said that he'd probably silenced them by slicing off their head.
But with you, he didn't want to hurt you.
He felt so vulnerable.
He hated it.
It felt like you were controlling his emotions.
He was crying, by why?
Other people have said far worst than those words and he didnt budge.
But with you, he felt as if those words had a complete different meaning.
They were more powerful and made him feel something.
Once you realized that he was crying, your expression softend.
"Xiao come here..."
You hold out your arms, waiting for him.
Instead he pushes himself away.
He leans back on one hand as he looks at you with glossy eyes.
This time you pull him into you.
He tried to push away as he hiccups.
"G-go away...."
You do the opposite and hold him closer.
"Xiao, im not letting go of you. Your staying here."
His body too tired to push you anymore he rests.
His body still tense and choking on his tears.
His arms slowly work their way to you your back, Hugging you loosely.
His tears slowly drip down his cheeks.
It was a sad, but beautiful scene.
He gives in and lowers him head. He hugs you tightly as he starts crying into your shoulder.
Rubbing his back to comfort him, you can feel the tears soaking into your shirt.
"Xiao, you dont need to hold back. Let it out."
This was your plan. Yes, making someone cry was not the best thing to do, but it was a way to comfort him.
It was a way to make him realize that he needed warmth and needed love.
You bring one on your hands to his head and start running your fingers through his hair.
He hiccups and tightens his hold on you.
You hear footsteps coming near, turning your gaze from xiao you meet with verr goldets eyes, who stands near the edge of the roof.
She stands in shock seeing the cold-gaze adeptus weeping in your arms.
She plasters a sad snule on her face, she turns and leave you too be.
"I dont....wanna...."
You bring your attention back to xiao.
He mubbles again as you pat his back.
"What? You dont want to what?"
"I....d-dont want to."
Sighing, you bring xiao into your lap.
His body quivers as he utters the words again.
"Well, what do you want to do xiao."
He thinks for a moment.
Hes never had anyone ask him that.
Hes always had something that he needed to do.
He never really had the choice, of what he wanted to do.
Xiao lifts his face from the crook of your neck.
He gazes at you with teary eyes and pink tinted cheeks.
"I want to..."
He mumbles quietly as he sniffles.
"...to lay down with you."
You smile warmly and brush the hair out of his face.
He looks away with a slightly bashful attitude.
"Let me go get a room, you stay here, ok?"
He nods as he hastily lets go of you.
You stand up and walk down to the front desk and see verr goldet.
"Im sorry....did i ruin something between you and xiao?"
You shake your head and smile.
"No you didnt. But can i have a room key please."
She nods and gives you a key.
"Is...xiao ok?"
You glance at her.
"He'll be fine."
You thank her and walk back to the roof.
You climb up the edge and see xiao sitting, gazing at the stars.
He turns around and sees you.
You bring the key up and jingle it in the air, signaling that you got a room.
He stands up and walks to you.
His hand reaches you and grabs hold of your sleeve.
You look at him with a suprised face, but you smile back at him.
You walk to the room and see a neat bed in the center along with a nightstand.
You close the door behind you and turn to xiao.
His eyes were puffy from crying and his hair was all messy from you combing through it.
You pull the covers off the corner of the bed and climb underneath.
Xiao stands awkwardly at the end of the bed.
"What are you doing? Come here."
You open your arms as he looks at you with shock.
"You asked for this, right."
He looks at the ground and walks over to you.
He takes off his large necklace and shoulder spike and sets it on thr nightstand.
He then hastily climbs into the bed.
You pull his arm so he lays ontop of you as he yelps.
"Y/n!"
You pet his hair lovingly aa you can feel him relax.
You shift so he can lay comfortably.
He has a tint of blush on his face as you wrap your arms around him.
"Lay down. You can sleep if you want to or you can just chill."
He lays his head down on your chest as he brings his arms to your sides.
You tangle your fingers through his hair.
"Y/n..."
You hum in response.
"I...love you."
You laugh gently and roll over so you lay on your side with xiao facing you.
"I love you too."
Blood.
Tears.
Empty.
Xiao was chains to these.
In a room full of blood, red, and loneliness.
But, a soft blue light appears in front of him.
His tired eyes look at the light with shock.
A figure that he recognized emerge from the blue light.
The girl, y/n, walks in front of xiao with a soft smile.
Her hand reaches out and cups his face.
He can start to feel the ties that are wraped around him loosen.
He starts to slip and he falls into the girls arms.
His frail body, too weak to hold himself up, gives in and collaps.
Y/n was his savior.
And his lover.
Xiao wakes up to the weight on the bed shifting.
His eyes slowly open as he looks around the room.
He sees y/n standing up and walking to the door.
He remebers why hes here and gets a bit embarrassed.
He shuffles under the sheets and y/n notices.
"Good morning sleepy head."
She greets him and ruffles his hair.
"Good morning."
Xiao was much softer that day.
When y/n had to leave to do commissions, he huged her and planted a kiss on her forehead.
When she came back, xiao let her sit in his lap as she told him about what happend.
And instead of a cold gaze, her eyes were met with a smile.
Broooo why did this take me so long to write😭🤚
Anyways im trying to write i promise im just being an idiot.
But i think u should watch jujutsu kaisen if u havent, and if u have, fushiguro is the best ok.